Skip to main content

Thelma Asks...

+18. S.  

There's something I've wondered about for a long time so I'm just going to ask in hope that I can get a reasonable answer. I can see this going in the way of "it's a man's world" but I'm sincerely hoping for something else, actual answers. 

I tend to read a lot of stuff (which admittedly includes things I probably shouldn't be reading but...). I cannot count the number of articles I've read instructing/educating/informing/enlightening me on how to give (better) blow jobs. These are usually very detailed, well written articles. They're not filthy or crass or disgusting, they're often just very well written educative pieces. 

I saw one today on a (non-sexual) forum, it had steps and very vivid details on how to achieve this and while I found myself unwittingly drawing my lips over my teeth when the article said to "Wrap upper lips over top row of teeth like you are imitating a toothless old person.", I immediately felt ridiculous and thought; wait why haven't I ever seen any article instructing/educating/informing/enlightening men on how to give (better) cuninlingus. JUST WHY???

Why? Is there a reason I don't know about why it's only normal for women to know how to, and men not to know how to... 

(I'm deliberately not asking why there are articles teaching women how to keep men, husbands, be better wives etc. I'm particularly interested in oral sex and if there's a reason one is more important than the other, besides the health risks). 


  1. Wrap upper lips over top row of teeth like you are imitating a toothless old person. ROTFL. I have died this night. Lmao

  2. Hmmmm,my guess is 80percent of men are gud practically in bed n oral SEX while most ladies are still learners e.g muah but sincerely d society at large feel ladies are meant to know more wen it comes tins like dat

  3. This girl sha.. i agree, men needs the tutorials more.

  4. In my days in the 'jungle', I know the kind of shock gals displayed when I express my intention for an 'Australian kiss'. It's good things are changing now and it's not so 'eeewwwww' anymore.

    1. 'Australian Kiss' took me a while to get Lol smh , so many names for one sexual act , nah wah ooo

    2. Haba,which one b Australia kiss?never heard of dis before ohhhh kai,am googling right away,cnt wait to start kissing in d Australian way. lLMAO

    3. Yes o, just seeing this Australian kiss tingy for the first time, goggle to the rescue!

    4. You don't need to google,my dear. Its written on d wall already. Its taking a dive in the 'south' side, get it? Australia and South....

  5. Na wa o, Thelma I couldn't agree mmore, everything in this life is about woman learning to please a man. Thank God for feminism, I would have killed someone if I was born in the era of my folks.

    Seriously, a lot of girls don't knw how to give blow jobs sha, Ii don try give me hubby, he says my teeth always get in the way. CEO

  6. Na wa o, Thelma I couldn't agree mmore, everything in this life is about woman learning to please a man. Thank God for feminism, I would have killed someone if I was born in the era of my folks.

    Seriously, a lot of girls don't knw how to give blow jobs sha, Ii don try give me hubby, he says my teeth always get in the way. CEO

  7. Thelma it all boils down to what you're trying to avoid. It is a man's world. Sorry.

  8. Lmsao! Enjay u are a case!
    Well, I think the men folk find it a lil easier "giving head" seeing as the act is just like licking a cone ice cream tenderly....

    Cuninlingus is nothing compared to "a BJ" because nothing falls, refuses to stand, bends, gets really hard etc
    So Yes, women NEED more tutorial for our own comfort.
    Have U noticed how we women feel pain in awkward positions while the dudes can keep thrusting in & out even if his female partner is standing on her head?

    More tutorials please!!!
    Night folks.

    1. But when they are thrusting in and out is any effect being made? The men too need tutorials, we all need tutorials! And that icecream cone licking business, not everybody knows how to lick icecream properly... tutorials for all!

    2. Out of curiosity, dis is no english class but do u 'lick icecream' or 'Eat icecream'

    3. Haha. Uyi this your 'lick ice cream?' question. I remember when I was out with friends and same question came up, one guy said lick, another said scoop!, and the other said eat and drink! And they were even giving explanations. LOL!

    4. Uyi that's the difference. I intentionally said lick because that's an act. But eat? They'll chew ur clit then. LOL

  9. well, I have seen quite a lot of online posts on how to please a woman and a man ..but they seem to be written by more females ...cunnilingus et al..
    and mabel, 80% is a bit too high..i think it varies. My ex was very good in bed but did not know how to give good head..putting lots of saliva..disgusting!!!. then a rebound guy was so terrible in bed and he's penis was on the smaller size but he knew how to work his tongue and lips!! he always told me to literally sit on his face! (too much information for y'all ? my bad lol) thinking about it just made me giggle lol. so miss, it varies.

    1. Hmmmmm...interesting, let's hear more nd learn

  10. I for one don't know how to give BJ,better put;I'm yet to give any man 'a' BJ. I get so irritated easily so,it's a no for me. For me not to feel guilty/selfish at the end,I don't allow him give me the Australian kiss(borrowing Eazee's term) either unless he insists and before allowing him,I make sure to tell him I ain't going down on you

  11. Maybe because a lot of men refuse to acknowledge their deficit in aspects of pleasing women, so there's less search on the internet, so writers are writing due to popular demand?
    Or generally females are more curious & want to please and 'keep' their men so the need for more tutorials for them?
    Or maybe because women are more 'shy' to explore, follow their intuition and learn on the job, so a need to teach them and help them learn in private, before going ahead to do the thing.

  12. Biko alot of guys don't know how to give. Some use their teeth and end up bruising the chic

  13. Funny thing is most guys only know how to thrust in and out, the thrusting gaan is questionable... some go too fast as if it's a first to finish something while some are slower than snails you'll be wondering if it's a hip problem or what. Don't get me started on oral sex shiiiiiiiii, some guys kiss you here you'll wonder if they thought your tender lips were some kind of hard ponmo they are trying to teach a lesson rme. Lemme stop here biko, guys need this tutorial on oral sex more than females, sex is not just to pull pant, fly inside and dig like there's a treasure chest in there.
    As for bjs you can practice with those really big lolly pops :D

    1. Your +18sexual-rating just went way up with 10000points! Lolz...

    2. Phransea I could not stop laughing at ur comment! Ur right jare; methinks guys cld do with tutorials on 'how to make a trip Down Under' worthwhile. Especially as what pleases varies with each chic, while for guys it's pretty much textbook and the 60/40 rule applies for most guys (60% skill/ 40% enthusiasm) n since guys r visual beings, d sight of how much ur enjoying wat ur doing often makes up for what u may lack in skills. Unfortunately, we women ain't wired d same way n u have to have skills to make an impact. Simple! N a lot of guys r clueless on that issue.

  14. hahahah, i learnt on the job.

  15. Truth is both sexes need tutorial not only on oral sex but on the art of sex. The trick is to keep your mind open to learning new, exciting things an unlearning old, dour ones.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…


Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Closed Chapter...

Hello everyone, yesterday a friend said to me, Thelma I love your blog, I've told so many people about your blog, I think you're a very good writer but I feel there's something you're not doing right"

This friend was the first person who won our beauty of the day contest back then in 2014. Then we had met just once through a mutual friend. I mentioned the blog to her and she became an instant reader. I wouldn't have exactly called her a friend then but yesterday as we sat down waiting for our Uber to come get us from Wal-Mart, she's definitely my friend and I knew she was coming from a good place when she said she had much higher expectations of my blog.

Me too.

But you see, in the last year or so, maybe even longer than that, I haven't felt much joy in blogging. It began to feel more and more of a laborious chore, one which I hardly reaped any fruits from.

I really love writing, I love sharing my life and my experiences with others and I've enjoy…

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa