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What's Your Theory?






Has the rate of failed marriages ever been this high? I think not.
People wed and before they get home from the reception there's already fire on the mountain. Its not that marriages have ever been perfect or rosy but our parents and grandparents' marriages lasted much longer, practically till death did them path but it's no news that these days it's often "for better and better", when things go bad people take a walk. It's sad that at 29 I have friendsssss who are already in their second marriages. 

I occasionally discuss this with people and we explore theories on why marriages these days don't last and people take a walk the minute it becomes inconvenient. 

-I've heard several people say that there's a demon that attacks marriages in this generation. I've heard a few people make mention of incubus and succubus and how they destroy marriages and homes. (I don't know much about this). 

-I've heard people blame it on feminism. This struggle for equality is the reason that there's now a power tussle between men and women in the home which inevitably leads to a break down. 

-I've heard women are becoming terribly influenced by westernization (refusing to take hubby's last night, bear the title of Mrs, refuse to be domesticated or demand that hubby does the chores instead etc) and that's why the rate of divorce so high. 

I've heard a lot of things and I'm not sure which satisfies my curiousity, if at all anyone does. 

My theory is more or less an observation, and this is that the tolerance level in our generation is at an all time low. The idea behind "for better-for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us path" is lost and marriage has become something of convenience; not many people are willing to put in the work, which must be put in in order to get something out of it. 
       Everyday I hear my single people say they don't think they should get married because the minute their spouse does this or that, they're out! Just this week two of my friends have said they don't think they'll stay in a marriage if there are certain hardships (which I don't particularly want to list right now). 
     
What's your theory on the high divorce rate these days and why so many marriages are falling apart like never before?

Comments

  1. we are so used to d idea of dating nd relationship dat we mistake it 4 marriage.we apply d same rules forgettn dat its a diff ball game entirely.yes am nt married bt av seen a lot nd noticed dis.our parents ddnt rily date lyk we did so dey hardly make dis mistake.

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  2. I think the major problem is westernization and feminism. These days most women work and earn thr own money, those days men take care of thr wives n kids and women had little or nothing to worry about apart from taking care of thr kids and hubby. Now most women are educated and know their rights, they would not let a man treat them anyhow just cos he is thr husband, our mothers really endured a lot even though the world is more stressful now, a lot of frustration here n thr, at work, on d road etc, then u still go home to a horrible man. I think we are evolving and everything ll fall into place, if divorce keeps increasing, men ll eventually sit up and learn to treat women right, the impression that a woman ll tk watever u dish ll eventually change and love ll once again rule. As for me, one thing i know is that life is too damn short to be unhappy because of anyone and in d end no one really cares.

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    1. I see your divorce by the corner already, that's if any man is foolish enough to tolerate you to marriage.

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    2. If the foundation is faulty what can the righteous do?! If we base the reason why we get married on frivolous things why would it stand! Patience and wisdom is lacking nowadays innit....my mum always tells me never to fight for my right and that has helped me a lot in marriage. God help our generation and keep us standing so we can set examples for the coming ones

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    3. Anon am divorced already and am soo glad i divorced my ex, that is d best decision i ve taken in my lifetime. Happiness is a choice and i ve chosen to be happy, 70% of people i know are unhappily married just because they are afraid of what people like you might say. As for me i ll rather be happily married or happily single, marriage is not bondage, it should be enjoyed and not endured. I feel sorry for people wasting thr lives in a lifetime of misery with wicked men who are not treating them right, dont get me wrong, every rship has its challenges but the moment the sad times outweigh the happy times then thr is a huge problem. Society is jus a b......h. Thelma oooo, please dont bring out my leg n my mouth with this post biko, before some people ll know how crazy i am.

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    4. Anon,u don't know what went down. I have friends out of their marriages that when they recount their experiences u weep,pray u neva have that in your marriage.
      I think it all boils down to how men treat their wives,u cant continue beating her and maltreating her and expect her to be loyal. Think about it most men abroad scream their wives are this and that forgetting the maltreatment how would u feel if u had to beg for everything?

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    5. Anon 7.17 I'm still trying to figure out what Ifunanya said to elicit that kind of response from you, I honestly can't understand the problem you have with her comment.

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    6. The statement that "if divorce keeps increasing, men ll eventually sit up and learn to treat women right" kinda confused me. I cannot see how that can be a valid statement, I think increasing divorce rate will only turn men to sperm donors and make the situation worse.

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    7. Wale I think there are two ways to look at it, while it may or may not turn men to sperm donors, it's quite likely to force some men to sit up and realize that no woman was brought to this world to be his footstool. Now while I cannot confidently claim to know where Ifunanya is coming from I'm swayed to agree that it's likely to force men to sit up. You know why? Because more than 80% of divorce proceedings are instituted by wives (I heard 95% to be precise). What does that tell you; men are reluctant to file for divorce, they desperately cling to marriages that they've made living hell for their wives. When I was a litigation lawyer I had several dissolution of marriage cases, all the petitioners were wives. What I gather from this is that since most men are actually scared/reluctant to lose their wives/end their marriages they'll have no choice but (be forced) to sit up. Therefore, based on that premise I think Ifunanya's statement is valid.

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    8. Why not file for separation den and see how it turns up! Not going straight to ending a marriage all because u've got some educational/economic upgrade.

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    9. Thelma, you will need to find out into why men don't file for divorce like the women and I am sure the reasons will interest you. One thing I can tell you is that it is hardly ever because the men are scared/reluctant to lose their wives. Perhaps it has something to do with the creation of men and how women were made, just saying.
      In North America, men are scared/reluctant to end their marriages because divorce always favors the women in terms of material gain. The guy gets kicked out and the woman takes over the house! A friend told me it is cheaper killing a wife than going through a divorce! Laws supporting women like that do not exist in Nigeria and may never come up in our lifetime and not until we can stop men from marrying more than one wife! But will religion allow us? Who knows.
      Some of these assumptions shows serious disconnect in the way men and women look at these issues, I think many women will get it right if they look at issues from a man's perspectives, likewise the men.
      My personal reason for being against divorce is simply Biblical (not even children), anything aside that will actually make me dive for it and hold a thanksgiving!

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    10. Wale i ll say the reason most men r reluctant to divorce is because they r married but living single so they dnt feel d pain. A Lot of married men ve relationships, i mean serious rships outside thr marriage, they go on dating n living like they r not married, while the woman stays faithful n takes responsibilities. There are good men out thr but they r very few tho. When i was still married to my ex, he wld be on d phone with another girl for over 30mins gisting n if i complain he ll say they r just friends and if i dnt like it i can leave dats cos he tot i ll never leave, am sure if he marries smone else now, he ll probably treat her better.

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    11. Anon 7:17, that was a really mean thing to say na, you don't know her story.
      As for me, I'm still trying to wrap my head around this whole marriage wahala, I still can't figure it out but I know for sure that selfishness and unforgiveness is the real problem, every other thing is secondary but it starts from there.
      L.

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    12. Hahahahahahahaha!!!!! Ifunanya, no vex o! Lemme play devil's advocate small....."If divorce keeps increasing, men ll eventually sit up and learn to treat women right". If that were true, has the high divorce rate in America changed the way men treat women?

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    13. Anon 7:17, that was a really mean thing to say na, you don't know her story.
      As for me, I'm still trying to wrap my head around this whole marriage wahala, I still can't figure it out but I know for sure that selfishness and unforgiveness is the real problem, every other thing is secondary but it starts from there.
      L.

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    14. Ifunanya, yes, some men are married but living single for a variety of reasons. You mentioned just one of them, another reason may be because some have blanked out as far as the marriage is concerned but they are not cheating. I am glad you acknowledged that there are a few good men out there. How many men are in the open talking about the abuse they face from their wives? Men generally are condemned by the same society that pushes women into marriage, wont I be called a wimp if I shout out that my wife is abusing me? And the first response is always "you must have done something wrong"!
      It is not my intention to push aside your personal experience in your last relationship but we must look at issues broadly without any bias, only then can we help ourselves and make our society better.

      Please go back to Thelma's post (Shhhhhhh...) and also talk to people at different levels, the women are doing worse than men in cheating these days. I cannot even begin to write down what I see or face every now and then.

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    15. Ok Wale u talk of America,let's look at Europe,these same men that treat we women as crap treat European ladies so well that they ladies actually want to date and marry Nigerian men,bear in mind European divorce oh boy,favors women even more than American own

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    16. Hmmmm , I disagree most men in Europe marry European women for papers , yes thet say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder but 90% of those men marry big women, big is not the word to use, fat and unattractive women and the women kick their ass to the curb every opportunity they get, safe to say the marriages do not last long. It really pissed me off when I see Nigerian men slaving for white women for papers.

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  3. If I talk, there'll be a 2nd book of lamentation in the Bible. #Smh
    All i'll say is this: People who gets divorced, Be it the man's fault or woman's fault, are NOT ready for marriage. If they are READY, they'll remain married & honor their vows! If only one person is ready, or both aren't, they are bound to go their separate ways!

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    1. Ruthy, 100likes for ur comment!..u jst nailed it. Whoever has gone thru divorce was never ready for marriage, and should re-evaluate themselves before going into another one.

      To d single ones..don't be discouraged by how society presents marriage n unpleasant stories u hear. Marriage is Beautiful when it is founded and grounded in the word of God.

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    2. Ruthy darling, this is not true for all cases. As for me, the fact that I wanted to stay married made me have up to 3 kids otherwise I would have walked away the moment I knew the truth after the first child. But I so detested a broken home that I decided to stay and try to make it work. Till today, a lot of people both from my side and his, often tell me that they were surprised I could stomach the much shit I went through.
      -F

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    3. Ruth good to know that if your husband beats u silly and stabs u with a knife on a daily basis, that you would still REMAIN in the marriage. good to know hun. good to know.

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  4. Thelma, so many factors contribute to failed marriages and you mentioned some above, and yes, there is an increase. The above commenter mentioned intolerance or lack of endurance which is also true.

    My theory Is that money and sex contributed to failed marriages. Lemme explain;

    Lack of money in a marriage can bring on Anger issues which sometimes lead to couples taking out their frustration and stress on each other! Especially when one of the spouse is not prudent or the man puts all the burden on his wife! And in a situation where the man is the sole provider, the woman should be prudent in all her dealings.#DV#

    Sex! The whole media reeks of sex! Couples are no longer satisfied with each other. Some spouse wants what they see in the 'media' and when the spouse is not ready to play ball, they go out and find another player, which has a multiplying effect! #infidelity# ..... This is when other factors like tolerance, endurance, compromising, and submission comes up!

    There is nothing new in our generation that our fore-fathers or parents did not see or go through, but they CHOSE to ride it out because of their VALUES then which is different from our generation.

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  5. Wrong reasons for getting married/ choice of spouse, impatience, intolerance, unforgiveness,pride, misplaced ideas of feminism, selfishness, unwillingness to compromise, less fear of God.

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  6. Well, I can only speak for myself. And I don't think I would even get married to someone who thinks Divorce is an option. Even though she may not say it outrightly, one way or the other I would sense it before we think of exchanging vows. Men shouldn't hurry up to propose too, Cos it seems like these days, a lady u meet 6months ago u want to get married to her cos of Socio-economic pressures.

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    1. And to add more insults upon injury, even our so-called spiritual leaders(can't mention names) dat should act as Role models in dis present generation are now also embracing the option of Divorce. Always wondered why Catholic Priest do not get married, I see why now.

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    2. If u a man gives a woman a reason to file for a divorce,she wld prolly take it.
      While courting and u ask her what her deal breaker is and she says beating and cheating,shld the man look forward to doing it?
      Mosr men wnt the wife doing thing that pleases him or he approves. What bout displeasing urself just to make her happy?

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    3. I wouldn't want to go all 'masculine supremacy' on dis issue... If I'm (not) displeasing mysef for U(wife), shud dat change the way u think abt OUR marraige? If as a Wife u want to 'Displease' or not 'Displease' ursef, it shud never be at the expense Of OUR MARRAIGE. Forgotten d vows? Better or Worse? Wats d challenges in marriage without 'worse'?

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    4. The "worse" shldnt be man-made esp if it can be avoided/prevented.

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    5. The worse can be man made and in fact always man made. People will always make mistakes both simple and tough ones, the storms of life does blow us into difficult situations sometimes. Learning to live together ultimately reduces how these difficulties affects marriages.

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    6. @ Uyi I'm with you on the divorce is not an option stance.
      Earlier on in my marriage when I had the mentality of the best thing that happened to my husband I kept threatening him with divorce whenever any issue came up.

      However we hit a stage where I came down from my high horse and my husband took a 360, we then made a vow that divorce is not an option and so when my scoin scoin craze starts he just reminds me he won't even accept my divorce papers Bc we have made that vow, my point is your mindset is key in the marriage.

      I do have my own exceptions though, if he is a serial cheat u won't even hesitate to divorce him, secondly if he ever and I mean ever ever hits me I'm so out, I love my life too much.

      Now here's a caveat, these things above are for a man that is giving his 100% to the marriage not all these manipulative slothful lazy unfaithful unsupportive emotional abusive men out there.

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  7. That our parents marriages supposedly lasted for long does not mean their marriages were/are happy. Some live as mere flat mates. Our generation's perceived intolerance may be based on what we have witnessed from our parents'.

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    1. Thank you. A lot of wines and bride price were returned or the man married other women or the woman just ran from the marriage to start afresh again.
      How bout in-laws butting in? I still can't understand how a grown-ass man or woman wld allow their respective families weild control in their home and they wld be looking. Ogaa o...

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    2. Thanks Sasha,I have heard of in laws beating up a wife and Oga no talk even supported them

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    3. Those are awkward and abnormal situations that no sane person would support, our parents never went that route!
      We must remember that women were picked (matched) for the men back then (at least in Yorubaland), that singular act played a key role in the "peace" between spouses back then.
      We rebelled and refused anybody picking any woman for us, so you have Olumide running into Nkechi on the street of New York and they already have a child together before their parents could learn how to pronounce the surname of the other child!
      There is always a price to pay for some of the deviations in the name of modernization, we probably could have gotten a blend of culture and modernization rather than the abandonment of what we used to have for something that is strange to us.

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    4. Rebellion occurs when individuals want a change in status quo.
      Whether its arranged or thru social friends,social gathering or social media,the focus shld be on making it work despite the odds (which in itself shldnt be life threatening).
      I guess from the male point of view is;as long as he isn't beating life outta you,every other vice can and shld be endured?

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  8. Evolution. People are changing. Women are getting more exposed and questioning the status quo,Men are not liking the fact that they are. Men wanna get away with the things their fathers did but todays woman has close to zero tolerance.
    My advice: Make sure ur spouse shares ur deepest values before u commit,humor goes a very long way in bracing the vissisitudes of marriage and always rem the bible teaching;do to ur spouse how u wld like in return.

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    1. You've. Gone back to my point earlier. I don't expect to marry someone who sees divorce as an option. If u knw we can't handle our sh*t right now, den forget about marriage babe. Let's just hook up till when we break up (Very soon)

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    2. And no woman marries a man hoping to divorce him at the slightest straw. Its usually the last straw (with the accumulative weight) that breaks the back.
      For me,humor and a crazy/silent chemisrty goes a long way. Money comes and goes,love fades but a home filled w/ laughter last!

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  9. By some comments you already have ur answer. Plenty "selfish, my way or d highway" people in the world today. Every failed marriage has its own story, most frivolous, still a lot are well grounded. Divorce shouldn't b an option, but if divorce would keep my life and sanity then am filing with no regret. I refuse to be d inspiration behind one super story, all in the name of being a good model woman/wife

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    1. Just so you know, the Bible does not allow divorce except in a situation of adultery. You can separate from your spouse and pay the penalty of remaining like that till you die! Except if you are not a practising Christian or you are of another religion.

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  10. Many of us grew up with siblings that often clashed with us. Did we *divorce* them? Even if we could, would we? There you are...

    Whether we like it or not, marriage IS FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE. If you're entering with the common mentality of settling down then be ready for the things that will kick you out; things you even suffered in the hands of your parents and siblings...even close friends. If you want to be happy in your marriage as you were in your previous home then you have to be loving, trusting, and tolerant. Shikenah. If it overwhelms you talk to your spouse, bring in third parties, and above all, PRAY TO GOD! Many people talk about divorce and don't care about the psychological effect it has on the kids. It's a "me me" situation out there and it's very sad.

    These are the conditions for marriage: its for better, for worse. If you're not up to it then remain single, please. Be blessed.

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    1. As divorce may have psychological effects on kids, so also an unhappy home filled with tension. People need to stop using kids as an excuse to stay together. Kids deserve a loving environment. If a divorce will guarantee that as the parents cannot work on their marriage, so be it.

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    2. Am not with u on this,wat of situations where things aren't working? When u pray and try ur best? It's really difficult,I know of a man who neva asks of his kids fees,beats their mother maltreats her all in the name of marriage,is she stayed on what was she teaching her daughters? That its ok to be abused? Naaaaa. As much as I dislike divorce I love myself betta

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    3. As usual another flimsy excuse for soliciting divorce. If the home is filled with tension is it beyond you to reduce/eliminate tension? Is a matrimonial home the first home a human experiences tension? That's what we all fail to understand. We're not living in a fairy tale world of "happily ever after". You're getting hooked to a stranger so immense work needs to be done. Like I said before, if you feel you've had enough tension from you're previous home please stay single, rather than make the institution of marriage a laughing stock.

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    4. Memphis. I totally disagree with you. Marriage shouldn't be for better for worse. Of course there are lows in marriages but when the low is really low, I think one should take a bow.
      When I was growing up, there was this pharmacist on my estate. Five years into her marriage, her husband beat her to death.
      She had this ride to death mentality about marriage. She was in an abusive relationship and she kept praying and hoping he will change. This is a woman who had given birth to twin boys for this man.
      I have zero tolerance for men like this. I don't need a man to slap me b4 I send him packing. I just need a shove. Marriage or no marriage, always seek your happiness. Life is too short to live by doctrines that don't work for you. You will die one day, and no one will die with you, not even your woman-beater husband.

      And Ifunanya, women like you give me life.

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    5. Memphis, there are too many stories of what goes down,this isn't my story to tell but what would u say to a woman whose in law abuses the underage daughter and the husband refuses to do anything? That's a part of wat we know,like I said it isn't my story to tell

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    6. Honest to God, I think every other thing in marriage I May endure even infidelity but violence? He'll no I shall definitely scoot. Being from a broken home, I do not want a broken home but if the situation becomes such I can't handle then getting a divorce might be an option. However, I do not hope to enter marriage having a plan of exit if stuff goes beyond me.

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    7. Thanks Ifesinachi, in as much as am not an advocate of divorce, am an advocate of Life is too short and Yolo. These days when i look back i wonder hw i was able to cope with all that, the cheating, the violence, living with his mum in a room, phewwww. Anyway i was just young and naive, but i thank God he brought me out in one piece.

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    8. Wow. Y'all are bringing up sordid stories as primarily the reasons most marriages break down. In as much as I agree with you that separation is most definitely welcome when issues of DV are the causes, I put it to you (in a typical barrister's voice) that majority of the causes of divorce are usually flimsy. Issues that can be solved by adequate counsel aren't, and that's my main worry. Things that make us fight with our siblings/friends but keep us tight with them are the same things that make us fight with our spouses and rush to *Thelma dem* office to file for divorce. Ah ah, wetin sef? :-)

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    9. Hahahahahahahaha......bia Memphis, I have to buy u a drink. Are u in Lagos?

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    10. I wonder how we think a relationship with siblings is same as that of couples. With your siblings, you guys are most often than not, raised together, share the same background, brought up with same values, morale, religion etc. How can we compare this with a total stranger who most likely has a different perception/background/upbringing etc?

      I'll use myself as an example again (I don't believe in backing my points with theories). My eldest brother beat nonsense out of me while growing up. I still have some 'memoirs' to show for the beatings. Reasons ranged from playing too much, not reading my books to boys following me. And no, I did not run away from home. But should my husband turned me into a punching bag, would I stay in the marriage? NO! I probably did not leave home because I was too young to be independent and there was nowhere for me to run to. He is 8 years older and you need to see his frame. I couldn't fight back and everyone thought he was doing the bullying in good faith. But I remember what his then fiance said 'you can never raise our child the way you treat your sister'. Need I say the beatings stopped the day I stood up to him? Presently, we are best of pals and my are the closest in the family.

      Meanwhile, he (my eldest brother) and my other brother (I have just the two of them from same father) who did not live with us never really got along. The day my eldest brother tried the harsh treatment on the second one, all hell was let loose and till this moment, they are best of pals ONLY when discussing football. I happen to be the unifying factor between them.

      -F

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  11. I tink We all get dat marriage is for better for worse.. But, wat of in situations like violence, or wen de other person's life is been threatened, do u stay dere and die, cos dey said till death do us path?? Or is one spouse allowed to kill de oda cos dey said till death do us part or for better for worse?? I have seen a few good marriages and I have seen bad marriages.. I tink we all should pray for ours to be amongst de Gud ones. I don't even wish ma enemy a bad marriage...times have changed... Shit happens...like wat someone said " I refuse to be d inspiration behind one super story, all in the name of being a good model woman/wife"..
    Ozavize

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  12. When people choose spouses and get married for the wrong reasons or blindly, a lot of them suffer in it perpetually. Marriage can't be all sweet daily, even God who says "I hate divorce" knows that.
    In the bible, they're a lot of instances where God asked that His people married from certain places/ tribes. First is, they'd worship Him and not idols, also because they would be similarities in understanding[roles& responsibilities], then a knowledge of family background [which at the time points to character].
    Now this shows that it's our duty to make the right choices, as much as we honestly can.(we know some people pretend to their partners before marriage). Yet we know a lot of people these days do not care much for character. The sanctity, 'seriousness' and indissovable nature of marriage used to be taken more seriously. It used to be more serious back then; a suitor comes, you and your family seek to observe him, parents used to even send spies to go investigate his family, his known behaviours, etc(Whether the lady says she's known him for years or not). But people now do not bother with those anymore, some see red alerts yet close their eyes to them.
    It's written in the bible, ... they're no longer two but one therefore what God has joined together let not man separate, wife submit to your husband, husband love and treat your wife as you would your own body, do not commit adultery, I hate it when one of you does a cruel thing to his wife, I hate divorce, do not break the faith of the wife of your youth, you ask why God does not accept your offerings- it is because you have broken the promise you made to the wife of your youth. These show that God has given is laws; male and female to honour marriage forever and if a spouse fails they'd be punished.
    If after all these and consistent work in the home, the marriage still is always bad, then it's a sad cross to bear unfortunately as the bible only mentioned divorce in the case of adultery and now for life's sake in the case of violence threat to life.
    In summary, if people made the right choices, did things right+had the right attitude and feared God more they'd be fewer divorces.

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  13. Well said @ everyone. Divorce should not be an option in marriage but if you foresee that your life is endangered or threatened by continuing that marriage you can be separated from that person or death will surely do you path. Separation and divorce are two different things. Even catholics that do not believe in divorce support this. The truth is that values which existed then are almost extinct now. This is reflected in modern marriages. Men took pride in providing for their families, these days you see a man spending his money on a side chick at the expense of his family needs. Women have become so superficial that they care more for their weaves than their families. People have dead conscience. That is why a man would cheat,cheat again and again even when he knows the wife is aware of it. The main aim of marriage is to give and not to receive. These days emphasis is placed on "what can I get from this marriage as against what can be given.J

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    1. Spot on, God bless you!

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    2. "Men took pride in providing for their families, these days you see a man spending his money on a side chick" These same men praise independent women yet wonder why feminism is on the increase..lol

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    3. This is one topic I can write an epistle on but I doubt if I can find the time. All I can write is that those that are single have a great opportunity to get it right.
      Do your homework very well, more than you would when researching to buy a car, fabric, shoes, appliances and all the rest. Spend more time talking, asking questions, setting boundaries (yes), having agreements and all that. Above this, work on yourself; you have no control over the other person but yourself. People change on their own for good or for bad, do not force your partner to change. Do not nag or punch him/her into submission, the boundaries will help manage the major issues and you can gloss over the simple ones.
      There is a post where many people wrote that their shortcoming is anger, nothing destroys a person or his/her relationship like uncontrolled anger. Negative emotions can wreck the best of marriages, getting angry is ok and is supported by the Bible but with a proviso that the sun should not set before your recover from that anger.
      Forgiveness and understanding (not tolerance, this is a weak virtue) are very critical in all kinds of relationships. Pride and ego should not have a place at all, who blinks first will only weaken/damage your eyes.

      Bottom line is that the success of any relationship is in the hands of those in that relationship. Living together with the same spouse for 50 years is a huge achievement but it comes at a price of sacrifice and resolution to build. In a situation where both can no longer live in peace, separation (not divorce) would be ideal; it offers opportunities for reconciliation or at the least, compliance with Biblical guidance.

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    4. Wale thank you. My mothers friend was telling me marriage isnt easy and how her daughters are finding it hard etc. I have been married 3 months., I married my husband with pure intentions and genuine reasons. We both try our best to give each other our best. And I wanted to really answer the woman back that actually my marriage is almost as easy as a summer day, because my husband and I make conscious efforts to only dwell on the things that are important to us. And the primary goal is to ensure the other person is happy.

      One thing I see is a lot of people get so caught up with wedding planning that they forget they are marrying a human being with feelings that they have to deal with after the production of a ceremony at Oriental hotel or 10 degrees.

      Ask many young women and men what type of marriage they want, you will be surprised in a very sad way by the responses.

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    5. Wake how long have you been married for sir?

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  14. Truth is till you are married you never just know yes it's good to make plans prepare well, know your partner pray etc but put in mind that life is unstable, your lovable husband/ wife could change tomorrow. On why divorce rates are higher.. 1) feminism my husband says this all the time, women are no tolerating , we want to be the man , we have to understand that while we are educated we have a role to play in the home n that's to be supportive , men have very bigggggg egos we have to learn to stroke this ego it gets even bigger when they married.

    ReplyDelete
  15. 2) finance yes oo money is a bigggg problem , marriages break cos of this singular factor.
    3) lack of wisdom both in the part if men n women you just must have sense n apply wisdom in every thing , women don't nag men hate it , make your point but don't nag if the man isn't listening look for other ways to communicate but never nag, choose your battles. 3)sex n Infediality long story the lust goes on n on some men treat their women like shit , they assume the dictatorial role in marriage

    ReplyDelete
  16. I must say I hate hate hate it when men quote that portion of the bible that's says .... Women submit thy self to your husband they completely forget to quote their portion which says men love your wives even as Christ loved the church n gave himself for it' how many men can die for their wives Biko? N love them like Christ loves the church? With or without blemish? Men do your part also while we women submit ( respect )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Bible actually preaches mutual submission and that can be easily dissected.

      Delete
    2. True the bible says that and while it's easily dissected, majority of men choose to ignore this part n instead choose to always quote the other part when women err.

      Delete
    3. Like everything else in the bible, read between the lines with wisdom. If one side submits and the other doesn't, na kasala be that o!

      Delete
    4. In all honestly I find that men submit easier than women anytime any place and that's probably why God emphasized the submission part for women and the living part for the men.

      Delete
  17. Phransea introduced me to this blog n I must say I love it already . Kudos to Thelma n every other regular here.
    Trace.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I guess the answeres people give on hyporhetical Q's during courting are usually not followed thru if/when they face such in the marriage. That's why most times it seems like u married a stranger or he/she changed...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are 100% correct with this one, people are scamming their way into marriages and paying the price.

      Delete
    2. Wale how much scamming can we be scammed if we allow space to objectively assess a person? An irresponsible person cannot hide completely, neither can a person with significant anger issues. I think the societal pressures help drive people into bad situations.

      My husband's two traits that I had to learn to work around - stuborness and malice keeping, they were visible from the beginning. They revealed themselves in minor ways, they don't come as a major revelation. Unless people are dating long distance, they need to pay attention to the other party. If it is too good to be true, it generally is.

      I almost fell in with bad spouses 2x, and I look back and realise how I wasnt paying attention to what those two men were telling me but instead seeing them how I wanted to.

      People tend to show us who they are, but many times we either dont listen or we make them into who we want them to be.

      Delete
  19. This is my testimony about the good work of a man who helped me..My name is Olivia Jane Mike, and I base in London.My life is back!!! After 8 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our three kids. I felt like my life was about to end,and was falling apart. Thanks to a spell caster called papa Justus who i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I was searching for a good spell caster that can solve my problems. I came across series of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. There was one particular testimony I saw, it was about a woman called grace,she testified about how papa Justus brought back her Ex lover in less than 72 hours and at the end of her testimony she drop papa Justus e-mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give papa a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 3 days, my husband came back to me. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before. papa Justus is really a talented and gifted man and i will not to stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man...If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve that problem for you. Try the great papa Justus today, he might be the answer to your problem. Here's his contact:
    drabeljustus@gmail.com Thank you great Justus. Contact him for the following:

    (1)If you want your ex back.
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    You can also CONTACT HIM ON whatsApp on the number.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You dey craze oh, how do we get these nutters out of this blog?

      Delete
  20. From most of the comments here, it seems the women would rather heap the blame on the men, this is the attitude that breaks the home. We all have roles to play in making the marriage work but will rather apportion blame. I am yet to see any form of progress where people will not accept responsibility for their actions.

    I am interested in knowing the exact reasons people here feel the men want to maintain status quo and what that status quo is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Correct, truth is it takes two to make a marriage and takes two to break it. We can't change men and they can't change us, we all need to work on our selves if there will be any hope for the generation to come. I know it's hard work but it's worth is at the end isn't it.

      Delete
    2. Brb,Battery low...lol

      Delete

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    ReplyDelete
  22. My people, whether u want to accept it or not, marriage is hard work. While I'm not saying that it is difficult, it takes a lot of effort to keep it running. let me ask u guys, can you drive your car without engine oil? Oh well, maybe some crazy people can as long as the petrol tank is full! But for how far will a full tank take you before the engine breaks down?
    My point is, it takes 2 MATURE people, who are ready to give it their best shot, for it to work. You see, the hollywood brand of love has so deceived so many people who try to toe that line. Marriage is for two forgivers who can talk to each other no matter the circumstances.The basic ingredient is not love, it is communication.
    I have been in it for almost ten years now and it's no roller coaster. There have been times (in anger) that I asked myself if i didnt make a mistake but that thought flies out as soon as i see le wifey i melt all over.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, real hard work but a peaceful woman and a true man makes the work appear seamless.

      Delete
    2. Gbam gbam gbam. A friend described me as a no nonsense type to my husband, my husband described me as a kitten. We always joke that to keep things sane, leave the rubbish at the door. Dont bring it home
      Peace is paramount.

      Delete
  23. As someone in this boat presently, all I can say is divorce rate is increasing because we now have the 'liberty' to divorce. Every other reason surrounds this liberty (for want of a better word). Using me as an example, perhaps I would have chosen an imminent death over separation (which will eventually lead to divorce) if I were to live in the days of my mothers and grandmothers.

    From the experiences of people close to me, I can well deduce that a lot of women in those days would gladly walk away from their marriages if they had this liberty we have now but societal view of a divorced woman, superstition, inability to cater for the children alone/unwillingness to allow a (and often wicked) step mother take care of their children if they left them with the men and walked away etc made them stick to the marriage. Women had no support (like we have now) from their relatives & friends; they had nowhere to go should they leave their husband's house. The few of them who had the means to take care of themselves and their children left their husbands and remarried. A good case is my 90-something-year-old former landlady. She married 3 husbands and bore children for all 3! Now, none was dead at the point of her marrying another. At least, I grew up to know 2 of them. She was the one who saw all her children through school and they are all doing well.

    Meanwhile, can we sincerely say that all the women of older generations had marriage in the real sense of the word? How do we define marriage? I know women who did not divorce but lived separately for donkey years until one of the couple died. Is this marriage?

    I have a whole lot to say but it might turn into an epistle.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are right here, a friend of mine was so ready for marriage that she kept herself till marriage only for her to find out the man deceived her all through. She found out that the man has erectile dysfunction. She still stood her ground when she found out after few months after marriage to stick it out with the man for better and for worse. She didn't tell anyone about it and just kept it between her and the hubby. she made several efforts to consult doctors and they visited the doctors in Nigeria and outside the country too. She didn't know the hubby was going behind her back telling people that her wife has fertility issues when they've not slept together for 3years of marriage. It caused serious issues the ladies only saviour was she kept record of all their hospital visits. Please Blog visitors, No one should judge divorced people because you don't really know the story behind the divorce. It took my friend years to recover from the trauma she thought she was dreaming. But God has dried her tears now because she's about getting married.

      Delete
    2. For records too, she has no fertility issues, the man just pushed the blame on her and she didn't know till someone approached her and told her to go see a doctor cos of her problem so she'll be cured, she opened her mouth so wide and asked which problem biko? she told her the story the hubby has been telling people oo, she confronted the hubby, the hubby did not deny the story oo, rather he said that was the only idea that came to his mind???? To tarnish your wify image???? Oh God!!!!! This is a lady that hasn't opened her mouth to tell anyone her problem.

      Delete
    3. We need a like button.

      Delete
    4. I think you got your story twisted, erectile dysfunction and fertility? ED can be handled with viagra and the likes and has got no business with inability to getting a woman pregnant.

      Nobody is judging divorcees or anybody here, we are just advising against such, at the end of the day, individuals will still have to take decisions for their lives and be accountable for those decisions.

      Delete
    5. Wale, Yes Viagra can handle it, but in his own case, Viagra, Cialis and the rest didn't help out. It was still the same, no improvement. No erection, so how will you sleep with a woman. I understand you perfectly, We all advise against it and individuals take decisions for their actions. Ruthy, emphasized on people not being ready and all, but it's not always the case. A lot of people are ready for marriage, marriage is really hardwork, as I am married too. But sometimes when the chips are down as in my friends case, you have no choice than to make a decision that suits you.

      Delete
  24. AM A LADY AND I WANT TO USE THIS MEDIUM TO BEG US LADIES, REGARDLESS OF WHAT WE SAY OR THINK, THE TRUTH IS THAT WE ARE THE ONES THAT BUILDS A HOME AND UNTIL WE BEGIN TO WAKE UP OUR ALMOST DEAD VALUES, IMPATIENCE, OUR NEW FOUND INDEPENDENT NATURE, ETC, AM AFRAID DIVORCE WILL CONTINUE TO BE ON THE INCREASE. DONT THINK AM SAYING FOR A MARRIAGE TO WORK ENTIRELY DEPENDS ON A WOMAN ALONE OOOO. NO, IT INVOLVES BOTH PARTIES AND COS OF OUR CULTURE I DARE SAY, MORE IS REQUIRED FROM THE WOMAN. WHEN WE TRY TO IMITATE THE WESTERN WORLD, WE ONLY IMITATE THEIR CULTURE WHICH UNFORTUNATELY CANT WORK HERE IN AFRICA, HENCE IT MAKES US CONFUSED, SAD AND IN THE LONG RUN DIVORCED WITH CHILDREN FROM BROKEN HOMES. MY DEAR LADIES, DIVORCE SHOULD NEVER BE AN OPTION, I REPEAT DIVORCE SHOULD NEVER BE AN OPTION REGARDLESS OF THE SITUATION. I KNOW SO MANY OF YOU WILL SAY WHAT OF IN THE CASE OF INFIDELITY AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. FOR THE FORMER, EVEN THE BIBLE IS AGAINST IT, READ THROUGH THE BIBLE VERY WELL AND YOU WILL SEE THAT THE BIBLE STATES THAT ITS ONLY IN THE CASE OF " FORNICATION" SHOULD A COUPLE BE GRANTED DIVORCE.THAT IS TO SAY, GOD HIMSELF IS AWARE THAT MARRIED COUPLES CANT COMMIT FORNICATION , AND USED THE WORD FORNICATION TO SUBSTITUTE ADULTERY BECAUSE HE DOES NOT WANT PEOPLE THAT ARE ALREADY MARRIED TO DIVORCE.
    FOR THE LATTER, PLEASE IF YOUR SPOUSE IS ABUSIVE,PLEASE SEEK FOR A SEPARATION RATHER THAN A DIVORCE.

    MEN PLEASE AND PLEASE, BE MORE LOVING, DISCIPLINED, RESPONSIBLE AND ABOVE ALL BE A LEADER THAT YOUR WIFE WILL READILY WANT TO FOLLOW. THERE IS NO WOMAN THAT WOULD HAVE ALL THE ABOVE MENTIONED ATTRIBUTES IN HER HUSBAND AND WANT TO DIVORCE HIM.

    ITS REALLY SOOOOOOO SAD HOW DIVORCE WHICH GROWING UP WAS A TABOO, HAS ALMOST BECOME THE NORM OF TODAY. PLEASE LETS GO BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD, AND MAKE THE INSTITUTE OF MARRIAGE BECOME A BEAUTIFUL THING THAT EVERYONE WILL LOOK FORWARD TO HAVING.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good points but you got the Caps Lock pinned down.

      Delete
    2. Hmmmm! I have a few questions:

      1. Separation instead of divorce? What happens to emotional needs (sex particularly)? Or are we to say that everyone has the same endurance level to abstain from sex for as long as it requires? Or are couples allowed to sleep with other people during separation?

      2. Is divorce worse than all other sins? If I could seek forgiveness for fornicating, committing adultery, lying, covetousness etc, what stops me from seeking forgiveness if I divorce and ask God for a second chance?

      I just hate hypocrisy! I have seen many people do all sorts of pathetic things to stay in marriage that if their spouses should know, it would bring down Armageddon. I will list some real life experiences:

      1. I have a colleague who was sleeping with a married woman regularly until she relocated abroad with her family. Reason? Her husband was hardly around and whenever he was, it was from one club to another. Sadly, husband met 'service man' and they became friends.
      2. An elderly man died of cardiac arrest the day he learned he was not the father of the grown-up, married men and woman (3 of them) he called children. The wife would rather contract another man to impregnate her than leave her sterile husband (the wife found out about the husband's condition after they both went for a test but she went for the result alone as husband was out of town)
      3. One of my older male relatives was sleeping with a married mother of 2. Her husband was abroad and she needed company.
      4. I have a close male pal who sees no big deal in his sleeping around despite being married. Reason? Wify's libido and his are not on the same level. Wify suddenly became less active after marriage.

      I can go on..........

      -F

      Delete
    3. @ WALE YES, LETS JUST SAY THAT'S MY IDENTITY.

      @ANON 2:27 YES NOT EVERYONE HAS THE SAME ENDURANCE LEVEL FOR SEX BUT I HAVE COME TO REALIZE THAT BECAUSE SEX IS EASILY GOTTEN THESE DAYS MORE THAN LOVE, SEX DESE DAYS NOW GIVE ONLY TEMPORAL SATISFACTION RATHER THAN INTIMACY. I MAY BE WRONG ON THIS SHA, BUT THAT'S HOW I SEE IT, BECAUSE I KEEP ASKING MYSELF WHY IS IT THAT MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE ALL ABOUT SEX DESE DAYS, YET EVEN AS MUCH AS THEY GET THE MOST SEX THAT THEY WANT, THEY ARE LEAST SATISFIED IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS?
      AM NOT GOD OOO, BUT WITH ALL THE ABOVE REFERENCES OF PPL SLEEPING AROUND WITH DIFFERENT MARRIED PPL, IF WE CAN ONLY TELL OURSELVES THE TRUTH ,WE KNOW THEY ARE ALL FURTHER COMPLICATING THEIR SITUATIONS AND IN NO TIME, THEIR CASE(S) WILL BE LIKE THAT OF A VOLCANO WAITING TO ERUPT>>> I MAY BE WRONG ON THESE AGAIN, BUT ITS MY TAKE.
      IS DIVORCE WORSE THAN OTHER SINS? I SAY A RESOUNDING NO TO THAT MY DEAR, BECAUSE SIN IS SIN AND NO SIN IS GREATER THAN THE OTHER. BUT WHEN YOU COMPARE DIVORCE TO THE OTHER SINS MENTIONED ABOVE, YOU WOULD SEE THAT MARRIAGE IS DISTINCT, BECAUSE ITS THE ONLY ONE THAT REQUIRES YOU TO MAKE VOWS BEFORE GOD, PARENTS, FRIENDS AND WELL WISHERS, AND ITS THE ONLY ONE THAT REQUEST FOR YOU TO MULTIPLY (EXCEPT OF CAUSE IN THE CASE OF FORNICATION THAT LEADS TO PREGNANCY). SO WHEN YOU WANT TO DIVORCE YOU NEED TO TAKE ALL THESE INTO CONSIDERATION, ESPECIALLY YOUR KIDS WHO SUFFER FIRST HAND ADVERSE EFFECT AS A RESULT OF ONE'S DECISION TO DIVORCE. THESE KIDS DID NOT ASK TO BE BROUGHT TO THE WORLD, BUT ONCE WE BRING THEM TO THE WORLD, WE OWE THEM A STABLE HOME, IF NOT FOR ANYTHING, FOR THEIR WELL BEING.

      WE ARE JUST A MICROWAVE GENERATION THAT SEEKS THE EASY WAY OUT AND WE SO FORGET THAT MOST OF THE THINGS WE CANT STAND FROM OUR SPOUSES ARE THINGS THAT OUR SIBLINGS AND MAYBE OUR PARENTS DISHED OUT TO US GROWING UP, YET WE STILL LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONALLY...

      Delete
    4. Abeg abeg abeg this your CAPS is a turn off giving us some migraine.

      Delete
    5. Anon all CAPS: you missed my points.

      On the sex issue I raised, my point is, separation will lead to a sin - adultery because both the man and woman are still married to each other. In satisfying their sexual desire, they go meet other people for satisfaction - a clear case of adultery. I am trying to say here that in a lot of ways, separation is no better than divorce.

      Another thing is, the effect of divorce on kids is so overrated! I do not want to write another epistle else I'd have given some life examples where kids raised by a single parent (both male and female single parents) turned out better than those raised in abusive homes where there was no peace.

      I am not a divorce advocate - far from it but once the issues of marriage start affecting a life, then one should seek a better alternative. If you make a mistake, you shouldn't pay with your life.

      As for the siblings you mentioned, I already made my point known in reply to one of the posts up there.

      -F

      Delete
    6. you are right about it being overrated .. staying for the kids can have a negative effect. My folks used to fight a lot when I was growing up. Coming back home from boarding school used to scare me a lot.. I rather get used by some senior student and have garri everyday than go home, eat well and watch 2 grown adult fight! My siblings and I are glad they've gone their separate ways. I live a peaceful life far away from my father who wasn't loving in the past. He's trying now though...

      Delete
  25. My name is Elizabeth, From USA ,and I’m happily married with a lovely husband and three children.I had a very big problem with my husband few months ago,to the extent that he even packed his things away from our house. He left I and and my kids for almost 1year, and i tried all my possible best and effort to bring him back.I discussed it with a very good friend of mine,and he gave me an advice concerning a spell caster, that he is the only one that can handle my situations and problem,that he’s always ready and able to do anything related to spell casting and helping of the needy, Please every every one i would like you all to contact him with his email address,which is as follows.”orikiolodumarespelltemple@gmail.com". I never believed in spell casting,but My friend convinced me and i had no choice than to follow my friend advice,because i never dreamed of loosing my lovely Husband. And i contacted him with his email address,and i discussed with him all my problems and worries and so surprisingly,he told me that I’ll get my husband back a day after. I didn't believed Him, until when i got home,the next day,my husband called me to inform me that he is coming back home…..So Amazing!! That’s how i got my back through spell casting and our relationship was stronger than ever. One of the price i was asked to pay was to tell it to the people around me that problems like this,can always be solved by Dr. Olodumare. So! my advice to you out there is to visit this same E-mail address,and tell him your problems too,if you are in any condition related to love issue or getting your ex back or and problem at all, please Contact him and have a happy life. you can contact him via email (orikiolodumarespelltemple@gmail.com )
    CONTACT HIM TODAY VIA THIS EMAIL ADDRESS: orikiolodumarespelltemple@gmail.com AS HIS POWERS ARE SO STRONG AND VERY EFFECTIVE AND HAS NO BAD EFFECT INSTEAD IT HAVE A VERY GOOD RESULT AFTER CASTING THE SPELL.

    ReplyDelete
  26. One of the best post I av enjoyed so far. learnt a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  27. The generation x and y are selfish and self absorbed
    It has little do with more education, we witnessed a bunch of crap in our parents marriages and chose not to go that route. A lot decided unlike what we saw by out mothers not to be selfless whether that is a good or bad thing is a debate for another day and has made us hardened and less tolerant.
    And then throw in the love of having a comfy life without necessarily paying the price, no woman wants to suffer anymore can't even blame them, since most guys become something else when money comes.
    We are the microwave generation, and don't have the patience for a lot of things PERIOD!

    ReplyDelete
  28. I want to point out a subtle point about divorce as a sin compared to other sins. After asking God for forgiveness make sure you don't remarry because anytime you sleep with another it's adultery.God cannot change his word. He said a man/woman married to a divorced person is committing adultery. When you separate from your spouse you are expected to keep yourself and remain faithful to your vow because you are still married to that person.The work to keep a marriage is both the work of a man and a woman, not a woman alone. Times have changed it's a fact. J

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All I have to say here: the Bible is a standard but GOD still speaks and HE is not dogmatic.
      Also, Christianity is the only religion which abhors divorce and label remarried divorcees as adulterers.

      -F

      Delete
  29. Movie shows like The Bill Cosby Show,My Wife and Kids,How I Met Ur Mother(Lily and Marshall),to name a few showed how a loving home can and shld be. One thing was common - Humor,Fairhfullness,friendship and no DV. Now that's the part of westenization I wld blindly copy anytime...

    ReplyDelete
  30. Freedom is the cause of all these. I don't know if I'm the only one who supported Loki's speech when he was with the tesseract in germany. Freedom is overated....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In the movie, The Avengers.

      Delete
  31. It takes two to make a marriage work, it simply pisses me off when I hear it's the woman that makes a marriage work..No no no, it's both parties, the man shld do his part while d woman does hers. Above all communication is key, in the 3 years that I hv been married and the over 30 yrs dat my folks have been married I observed that our tolerance levels, the way we present our issues and the ability to compromise r key requirements for marriage to work.

    Some women can be annoying o, so can some men be. However, statistics show that men have the most issues in a marriage. The bane of the problem of high divorces so far is that most pple marry for the wrong reasons and r very immature too. Clare

    ReplyDelete
  32. It takes two to make a marriage work, it simply pisses me off when I hear it's the woman that makes a marriage work..No no no, it's both parties, the man shld do his part while d woman does hers. Above all communication is key, in the 3 years that I hv been married and the over 30 yrs dat my folks have been married I observed that our tolerance levels, the way we present our issues and the ability to compromise r key requirements for marriage to work.

    Some women can be annoying o, so can some men be. However, statistics show that men have the most issues in a marriage. The bane of the problem of high divorces so far is that most pple marry for the wrong reasons and r very immature too. Clare

    ReplyDelete
  33. My Name is Rebbecca Wilson, i am 42 years old and i am from United states . I am happy to share my testimony on here.2001,I had threatening from my fiance that he never give a damn about me and he dont love me anymore because of another woman he got acquainted to .His family also was not in support of our coming together and then my fiance had this deep hatred for me . My fiance drove me out of his life and that was in the 2001, since then i searched for solutions as i loved him and i never wanted to let go him off my life.

    Earlier this year, i was playing through the internet and i saw someone's testimony about this great spell caster(Dr. Emini Kokoro) who helped him get his ex back.At first to me it was unbelievable as i have heard of scams but his testimony really inspired me that i had to give it a try to contact the spell caster. To my greatest surprise he helped me cast the spell and my fiance came back to me within 72 hours together with his family to ask for forgivess for the hurt and pains they made me go through for the many years they abandoned me.And finally to crown it all, 4 months ago, we got married and we are living happily now.up till this time, my husband has shown non-stop love ,care and trust... Thank you so much Doctor Emini Kokoro for bringing smiles to my face .

    i recommend this powerdul spell caster for those who seek spiritual help of any kind, i advise you to contact him on his email; eminikokorospiritualhelp@hotmail.com . He specializes in all aspect of problems;

    if you want your ex back.,If you want to be cured of Cancer,if you want to be cured of HIV/AIDS,if you want to be prosperous,if you want to have increase in finance.

    if you want favor and goodluck.,if you want to lose weight,if you want to gain weight,if you are barren and you want to have a child,if you want to bind your husband with you forever,binding you and yourhusband forever and lot more ..

    he is very powerful,his solutions has no side effect and his solutions comes within 72 hours...

    i promised him that i will share my testimony to the world if i gets mine that's why i am sharing it on here..his email address is : eminikokorospiritualhelp@hotmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  34. HOW MY EX HUSBAND FINALLY CAME BACK TO ME !!!

    Hello everyone ,..In the past ,I was in a long term relationship that suppose to lead to marriage but one day came that my fiance lost interest in me because another woman was enticing him with money and fake love.i complained to a friend of mine about what my situation was and she gave me an advice that I contact a powerful spell Caster (eminikokorospiritualhelp@hotmail.com) . At first, i was lackadaisical contacting him but one faithful day, I took a bold step and i contacted him and he replied saying he would help me.. to cut the long story short,he caste a spell and my husband came back to me within 3 days..it was just a surprise to me as I never believed my husband would come back begging for forgiveness. Afterwards we go married, we just came back from honey moon some few days back.. here i am today testifying happily...I said to myself that I would share this to the world if my problem become a thing of the past..now I am happy and I am happy sharing it on here happily to all my friends.. so I urge everyone who have problems of any kind, be it any of these below;
    if you want your ex back? if you want to bind your husband with you forever?if you want to be cured of Cancer? if you want to be cured of HIV/AIDS? if you disabled? if you want to be prosperous? if you want to have increase in finance? if you want favor and goodluck? if you want to lose weight? if you want to gain weight? if you are barren and you want to have a child? If some who owes you and dont want to pay you back? if you want to be rich and lot more?

    contact him now.His email address: eminikokorospiritualhelp@hotmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  35. My name is Conrad Eve, my family and i live together live in USA. It was after seven years i got to discover that my Husband was unfaithful to me. I didn't know what was going on at first but as he got deep in the affair with his new lover, i felt that our marriage was on the rocks. I notice that he no longer light up when i touch him or kiss him in his neck and his chest cos he really liked it when i did that, he also usually get naked in front of me but when he started seeing that woman he stopped it. I remember asking him if i have done anything that makes him feel irritated when i am around him then he gives silly excuses that he has been feeling stressed up and that he need space for a while. I know when you are been asked for space its usually because there is something fishy going on. I hired a private investigator to help find out what was going on. And in a week time he brought me prove that my Husband that i have lived with for seven straight year is cheating on me with his high school lover. I had picture of him walking out a of a restaurant with her and many other photo of them kissing in public like he will never be caught by someone that knows he is my Husband. I asked myself, even when we had a daughter together he could do this to me. That same night i showed him the pictures that i got from my private investigator. He didn't look at it before saying, that he is seeing someone and he know that i just found out about it. Then he said that he is in love with her. At that moment, i didn't know if to kill myself or to kill him but the button line is that if i was going to kill anyone it was going to be me because i was so much in love with him to even think of thinking to hurt him. As time goes on he asked for a divorce and got it and i got custody of our daughter and i weep everyday seeing my daughter with out being around her daddy. I just couldn't get my mind off my Husband and all i could think about was getting him back and live as every family should. For a year i tried all i could to get him back with the help of my seven year old daughter. Even at that all effect was in vain, i used the help of his friend but turned out all bad. I know most people don't believe in spell casting but believe me this was my last option and the result i most say was impressive. And i know it difficult to believe but A SPELL CASTER Dr okosodo really made my life much better because he gave me my family back. He didn't ask me to pay for what he did for me all i was to do, was to provide the materials for the spell and i should believe that he had the power to help me. Like he said, he was going to do something that will make him reset his love and affection for me just as it has always been. My Husband told me he woke up and realized that he should have never left me that i am all he needs.To make thing clear, his life with his high school lover was great before Dr okosodo cast the spell, they had no disagreement on anything. My Husband said it himself that why he broke up with her is something he can not explain just that he woke up on the same bed with her after a very romantic night saying he is breaking up with her for no reason at all. Only Dr okosodo can do such a thing, contact him to solve your problem with his email dr.okosodo@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete


  36. i will love to share my testimony to you all the people in world i got married to my husband about 2 year ago we start having problems at home like we stop sleeping on the same bed,fighting about little things he always comes home late at night,drinking too much and sleeping with other women out side i have never love any man in my life except him. he is the father of my child and i don't want to loose him because we have worked so hard together to become what we are and have today .few month ago he now decided to live me and the kid,being a single mother can be hard sometimes and so i have nobody to turn to and i was heart broken.i called my mom and explain every thing to her,my mother told me about dr.okosodo how he helped her solve the problem between her and my dad i was surprise about it because they have been without each other for three and a half years and it was like a miracle how they came back to each other. i was directed to dr.okosodo on his email: dr.okosodo@yahoo.com and explain everything to him,so he promise me not to worry that he will cast a spell and make things come back to how we where so much in love again and that it was another female spirit that was controlling my husband he told me that my problem will be solved within two days if i believe i said OK So he cast a spell for me and after two days my love came back asking me to forgive him i Am so happy now. so that why i decided to share my experience with every body that have such problem contact Dr okosodo the great spell caster on his email addresses dr.okosodo@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete

  37. An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my wife back to me..
    My name is Andy Sowers,i live in Australia,and I'm happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids.A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife.so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce.she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she didn't love me anymore.So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again.
    So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife.So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.{dr.okosodo@yahoo.com}.
    So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who didn't call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster.
    So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website {dr.okosodo@yahoo.com},if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back.
    So thanks to the dr.okosodo@yahoo.com for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once agai{dr.okosodo@yahoo.com},
    Thanks.

    ReplyDelete


  38. Am Mrs Morgana want to share a testimony of my life to every one. I was married to my husband James Mark, I love him so much we have been married for 5 years now with two kids. when he went for a vacation to France he meant a lady ;, he told me that he is no longer interested in the marriage any more and said we should go for divorce. I was so confused and seeking for help, I don't know what to do until I met my friend miss Edwina who told who gave me the solution to my problem. she told me not to worry about it that she had a similar problem earlier and introduce me to a man called Dr okosodo who cast a spell on her ex and bring him back to her after 24hrs.I contacted him to help me bring back my husband and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods of his fore-fathers will fight for me. He told me by 24hrs he will re-unite me and my husband together. After two day my husband called and told me he is coming back to sought out things with me, I was surprise when I saw him and he started crying for forgiveness. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth for what this great spell caster did for me and my husband, his contact is:Dr okosodo. He is the best spell caster on the internet so far email: dr.okosodo@yahoo.com Thank you once again father, I will continue to share your good work as long as I live and I will advice everyone in similar situation to try and see. thanks dr.okosodo@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete
  39. Am Tanya Albert from United State I was heartbroken that my boyfriend decided to leave the relationship, so I had the Retrieve A Lover spell cast. with Dr Ekpiku Within a week of the spell casting, he called "just to talk." After some pleasant talks and catching up, he asked to see me again. I felt he had started to turn around. I decided to give him a chance just to see. now we are happily married and He is absolutely crazy about me, i thank Dr Ekpiku for bringing back my ex, if you need his help you can contact him via email:Ekpikuspelltemple@live.com

    ReplyDelete

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