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Wicked Love.

That sounds like the name of a Nollywood movie I know, but it isn't. It's just something that baffles me, especially when I see comments like the one below. 

"if u are tired of his cheating still go back home since he didn't threaten you like my husband who whenever he makes me angry and I tell him i want to leave him and run away he will swear that I will never leave him that our marriage is 2gether 4ever that if I dare he will kill me and kill our daughter too, but I still love him alot cos behind that harsh controlling man there's a good man who loves me like hell, just that his love is wicked but he doesn't cheat on me or beat me never! But he controls me a lot."

So today I saw a number of comments from women dating or married to (emotionally) abusive men. I was both appalled and amused to see that a large number of them think it's a sign of love when a man threatens them, either threatens to beat them, threatens to kill them or threatens to kill their kids. They said "it's a sign of love". A few said when a man is so mean or wicked it's because he loves you, it's love that drives him to the point where he becomes so agitated and threatens your life. 

I would have laughed this off had I not seen quite a number of people who agree with this line of reasoning. This question might be inane but I need to ask it because usually when a guy shows me a little bit of viciousness I fleeeeee. But have I been wrong all this time? Could it be that it's his love for me that pushes him? Is love "wicked"?  

Above comment: Laila's blog. 


  1. Very amusing and sad when I hear abused women trying to analyze the positive angle of the character(istics) of an abusive he-goat. Issorai. Remain naive y'all.

    1. Memphis you are on every blog. Kilode?

    2. Same way you are for you to notice him

    3. It's called Stockholm Syndrome Memphis. It's scary but real.

  2. Love is patient, love is kind... No where has it been written that love is wicked some women just like quarrel pass fight.

  3. T life is so complicated, a lot of people are in abusive marriages but cannot leave because they ve nowhere to go to, i mean where do u even start from, ll you go back to your parents house when they r afraid of being judged or do u rent a house n stay alone thr with your kids, its easy to advice those women to leave before he kills you but trust me its a really really tough decision. Being abused makes people mentally unstable in that you ll find yourself making excuses for the abuser, and abusive people are also very manipulative therefore making it almost impossible for thr victims to see them as harmful, quitting an abusive relationship is like quitting drugs, it requires courage, decision and the grace of God to say you are DONE!!

    1. It sure takes a whole lot to leave but it is the most reasonable decision if victims want to stay alive.
      I am hoping the society can accelerate their acceptance of these decisions; Arowolo is waiting for the hangman, the wife is dead and their only child will never experience parental care or love. A separation would probably have taken care of these unwanted consequences.

  4. Better continue to flee if you love your life! People are just plain sick, what is the fate of those of us that cannot show that kind of love.

  5. I agree with you Wale, there is no point managing with an abusive partner (male or female). You will just die for nothing.

    It's a tough decision, but life iis too precious to gamble with it in the name of " love"

  6. I agree with you Wale, there is no point managing with an abusive partner (male or female). You will just die for nothing.

    It's a tough decision, but life iis too precious to gamble with it in the name of " love"

  7. Please Love is NOT wicked. When someone shows U true love, all these threats will never come up!!!
    Love is exactly how the bible describes it. EOD.


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