Can I be very honest with you? I know I'm supposed to love and cherish you, seeing as you're the vessel I'm within and you're the only one I have and all of that... But sometimes I just don't! Don't get me wrong, of course on some level I really do love you, of course I'm thankful for you. After all you're tall, your skin is almost flawless and once upon a time you made heads turn, so no I'm not completely oblivious to your positives.
BUT! I find that the older I get the more my love for you wanes, well maybe because the more your beauty diminishes. Now you've shown me that what they all said was true. When they warned me years ago I stood tall and proud and declared that YOU will defy their ominous theories; that women are like flowers that fade away. And now you betray me?
You're no longer what and how you used to be. In every ramification you have changed! And just in case you're wondering, of course the reason behind this letter is the fat the seems insistent on being a huge part of you. Yes, not only have you chosen to be a fat body, you have also stubbornly refused to cooperate with me. Damn you! All it took a few years ago was cutting out carbs for a few days and you'd immediately shrink to a teeny-tiny size. Now however, I cut all the carbs, sugar, oil, late night food, I run, jog, go insane with Shaun T and what do I get from you? NOTHING. Come eight weeks later my clothes are still as tight as they ever were, my belly still jiggles and my chin is still double. You really have changed my darling body.
I try to convince myself that I love you, that you're just how you're meant to be, that it's not your fault as you're a result of my parents genes. I try to make excuses for you and love you regardless, but how can I? How can I when everyday I'm just trying to get great jokes and healthy quotes on Instagram but all I get is assaulted with pictures of the perfect pear shaped bodies and to-die-for abs, which everyone seems to have these days except me.
So today I write this letter to you... Sometimes I feel like you've failed me, sometimes I feel so disappointed in you that I almost lose my temper and get angry, sometimes I stand naked in front of a full length mirror and curse you, jab at you and question your imperfections. Yes, most times I feel like you have failed me.
But dear body I sincerely, truthfully apologize. You see, it is I who has failed you. It is I who treated you like a bin and dumped every bit of junk inside of you, it is I who didn't and still sometimes don't pay much attention to what you need, it is I who lays you flat on the sofa for hours on end and give up just when all the hardwork I put you through is about to pay off. It is I who so terribly let you go, and now I stand here and blame you... It's I who has failed you.
The great news is it's never too late and you and I can try again. Of course the not-so-great news is that it wouldn't be easy, not even remotely. Yet I'm certain that you and I can work through this together and come out stronger, and hotter. LOL. And I'm sorry for getting upset with you. You're after all the only body I have, you're the only body I need, you're the one who's going to carry and bear forth my little ones and for that I love love love you, and YOU are the one their father is going to love, and if he can then who am I not to love you?
In all things I am thankful for you, you are strong, healthy, productive and you get me noticed wherever I go. What else could I possibly ask for?
Your lifelong Occupant.