She said I was very unfriendly, and whenever she saw me I always had a scowl on my face, I never said hi or tried to be polite. She said I hated her. I said she was younger than me, I shouldn't be the one doing the greetings, shouldn't be the one making the efforts. Besides the way I saw it she should be the one sucking up to me.
For months we'd see but not say a word. Sometimes we'd nod coldly towards each other in greeting. Everyone said I treated her like I hate her. I didn't hate her, I just wasn't fond of her. In fact I wanted her out of the picture.
There were several reasons but were they really good enough? Maybe not, I knew there was something else I couldn't quite place my finger on.
And some days ago it suddenly hit me. He doesn't call my phone the way he used to. Even though he doesn't live too far away he used to call me at least two or three times a day. When anything happened I'm the first person he would tell. Whenever he saw an awesome movie he would immediately call me and ask me to see it. If he wasn't happy he'd ring my phone nonstop to talk. He would always call to know if I'm ok. He was interested in everything I did, everything I got involved in. When I wrote stories he'd ask me to send them to him to first read through, before posting on the blog. When I went somewhere and got stranded he was the first person I would call and he would undoubtedly show up. Sometimes he would call me randomly just to encourage and pray for me. When we talk he would spend hours just listening to my stories; listen to me whine about my friends, my job, some blog readers, my finances... Anything! Whenever he noticed something wasn't right whether in my weight, my attitude, my blog posts, my skin... anything... he would immediately get through to me and say something.
And some days ago I noticed... All that has stopped! He doesn't do that anymore. He just doesn't! Yeah we see occasionally, yes we talk for a minute or so every other week. No it's not at all the way it used to be.
And it all changed when you became a part of his life.
So my darling, I don't hate you. In fact as you must have noticed I've started making an effort to get to know you, to be friends with you. But if I'm to be honest I'll admit that some part of me still resents you.
I don't have many people who love me that much, who show me that level of loyalty, love and unshakable support. I'm not only his baby sister, I was his bestie! But now that has changed.
And I resent that.
I accept it.
And I'll make more effort to accept you.
So you see, I don't hate you, I may resent you a little right now but I'm working on that too. I think some day you and I might actually be very good friends. Some day...
How do you react when someone you love so dearly (family member or close friend) begins to date someone and you're suddenly displaced....? Don't you just hate it when that happens? Aaaaarghh! LOL.