Skip to main content

Dear Issy, I don't Hate You, But...

She said I was very unfriendly, and whenever she saw me I always had a scowl on my face, I never said hi or tried to be polite. She said I hated her. I said she was younger than me, I shouldn't be the one doing the greetings, shouldn't be the one making the efforts. Besides the way I saw it she should be the one sucking up to me. 

For months we'd see but not say a word. Sometimes we'd nod coldly towards each other in greeting. Everyone said I treated her like I hate her. I didn't hate her, I just wasn't fond of her. In fact I wanted her out of the picture. 

There were several reasons but were they really good enough? Maybe not, I knew there was something else I couldn't quite place my finger on. 

And some days ago it suddenly hit me. He doesn't call my phone the way he used to. Even though he doesn't live too far away he used to call me at least two or three times a day. When anything happened I'm the first person he would tell. Whenever he saw an awesome movie he would immediately call me and ask me to see it. If he wasn't happy he'd ring my phone nonstop to talk. He would always call to know if I'm ok. He was interested in everything I did, everything I got involved in. When I wrote stories he'd ask me to send them to him to first read through, before posting on the blog. When I went somewhere and got stranded he was the first person I would call and he would undoubtedly show up. Sometimes he would call me randomly just to encourage and pray for me. When we talk he would spend hours just listening to my stories; listen to me whine about my friends, my job, some blog readers, my finances... Anything! Whenever he noticed something wasn't right whether in my weight, my attitude, my blog posts, my skin... anything... he would immediately get through to me and say something. 

And some days ago I noticed... All that has stopped! He doesn't do that anymore. He just doesn't! Yeah we see occasionally, yes we talk for a minute or so every other week. No it's not at all the way it used to be. 

And it all changed when you became a part of his life. 

So my darling, I don't hate you. In fact as you must have noticed I've started making an effort to get to know you, to be friends with you. But if I'm to be honest I'll admit that some part of me still resents you. 

I don't have many people who love me that much, who show me that level of loyalty, love and unshakable support. I'm not only his baby sister, I was his bestie! But now that has changed. 

And I resent that. 


I accept it. 

And I'll make more effort to accept you.

    So you see, I don't hate you, I may resent you a little right now but I'm working on that too. I think some day you and I might actually be very good friends. Some day...

How do you react when someone you love so dearly (family member or close friend) begins to date someone and you're suddenly displaced....? Don't you just hate it when that happens? Aaaaarghh! LOL. 


  1. Lol. I know this feeling too well. Do you know this is why some mothers in law are so mean? It's because they feel like you're replacing them. Of course some of them overdo it, the very wicked ones.

  2. Anon u are right! Some MILs are evul pipu.

    Well T, I don't know what u are feeling cos i've never worn those shoes (I'm the one giving my siblings all the attention right now).
    But I think u should keep making the effort to get close to her. When u guys become real friends, u'll be in a better position to protect ur brothers interest!
    And someday, a guy who'll abandon all his family excesses & pay u 100% attention will find U Hon!

  3. At least you're willing to make an effort. The resentment is very normal o! I hate my friend's hubby for the same reason sometimes. He didn't do anything to me but he took my friend away. I guess the solution is to find my own husband lol

    1. Hehehe U resent him 4 taking ur friend away?

      Loling @ dz comment

      *lips sealed and watching*

  4. If you love your bro as much as you say you do then it would only be natural to transfer the love you have for him to her and you'll be surprised that she will also pay as much attention to you as your bro was doing. Happened to me so I know what I'm about.

  5. Hmmmmmmmmm. I can perfectly relate with this feeling. @phransea is right,she has said it all.

  6. I don't agree with Phransea and Mabel. You don't have to transfer your love to her, instead transfer it to your own boo. I think if you were in your own relationship you won't even notice them.

    1. i think you have a point there on if she had a boo, it won't hurt as much..
      mabel and phran are also a perfect world, thats the right thing to do.

  7. Abeg Thelma I feel you jere, it doesn't even help that she might not be there forever, the only person I am willing to "send" in my only brothers life is his WIFE(the final busstop). Girlfriends come and biko , I aint gonna waste my loyalty on any of them.

  8. If u're very important in ur brother"s life, dt info will be passed on to his babe. But be careful with d resentment so u don't become a wicked sister-in-law. Meanwhile for a while, keep them in their place, pretend they don't exist.

  9. As much as Evry1 should feel this way, then u get what u sow!!! Feel u just being selfish cos same applies to all siblings & rmbr u end up in some1's arms too.

  10. Truth is... its bound to happen. When there's a woman in ur brother's life, the attention is certainly going to shift from you to her and I guess thats what we all want as women..the guy who will leave his family and cleave to us! I experienced it with my fiance sha..the coldness was coming from his immediate younger sister but i mentioned it to him and he 'straightened' things out by telling her to respect me as she (his sister) respects him! So deary...ur time is just around the corner so support dem so your sister-in-law sef go support you too...#Big smile....#JoyDaNuGirl

  11. I'm not sure, Thelma... but I think the girl in the picture could have shaved her arms... lol

  12. Thelma the way ur feeling is very understandable. In fact like another Anon has said that's why MIL behave the way they do. Also it even happens between friends, when ur close friend makes another close friend and she begins to share her time with her too you'll begin to resent the new friend.

  13. It is a normal feeling but we shouldn't allow it get out of control.You could have been in your brother's shoes and your attention shifted totally from your brother to your man.


  14. I agree with Phransea to a large extent. try to transfer the love and see what happens. happened to me too and now i am closer to my bro's wife than all my siblings put together, interesting eh? I'm always with her, home alone with her, chatting with her, gisting 247 with her, going out together, everything. in fact its so funny, sometimes when my bro gets home and i had been with her all day, i immediately leave cuz I'm no longer But i don't know, ur case is different cuz she aint married to ur bro yet so i think for now, u can just try to be civil but really, u don't owe her more than that. put in the extra effort when (if) theyre married.

  15. I think you should make more efforts to accommodate her. if your bro doesn't call you everyday like he used to, why don't you turn the tables around and call him? life is give and take. Sisters in law can make very good friends and sisters and you never know where the relationship could lead to in future and the benefits that lie in wait for you. so look beyond the here and now and look at the big picture. forget the fact she's younger than you. she could be the next minister of foreign affairs


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…


Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Closed Chapter...

Hello everyone, yesterday a friend said to me, Thelma I love your blog, I've told so many people about your blog, I think you're a very good writer but I feel there's something you're not doing right"

This friend was the first person who won our beauty of the day contest back then in 2014. Then we had met just once through a mutual friend. I mentioned the blog to her and she became an instant reader. I wouldn't have exactly called her a friend then but yesterday as we sat down waiting for our Uber to come get us from Wal-Mart, she's definitely my friend and I knew she was coming from a good place when she said she had much higher expectations of my blog.

Me too.

But you see, in the last year or so, maybe even longer than that, I haven't felt much joy in blogging. It began to feel more and more of a laborious chore, one which I hardly reaped any fruits from.

I really love writing, I love sharing my life and my experiences with others and I've enjoy…

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa