A friend of mine once sent you a story with a bit of my story in it and ever since then I have been a visitor to your blog. Today i saw a post somewhat similar to my condition. Just trying to know what people would say to mine. Am currently dating a man 20yrs older than i am. He was married before but the lady has blocked fallopian tubes so she packed and left. I didnt know he was up to 40 when we met and he didnt know i was just 19 back then. I have my perfect man as every female does and He is almost perfect. We have been together for about two years now. The problem is,as a medical student i want to be done with even my house job before getting married to him because if i marry him now,he would want kids immediately. He has always disturbed me for sex but my mother once said there are certain prayers a woman who didnt meet her husband as a virgin cannot pray. It may not be true but I dont plan to have sex even a day before the court says am a wife. Just last week,we had our first row. Working in the hospital where i am now, i have seen people with his wife's case get pregnant. I had to tell him to go look for her and try again. I do not want to stand in her way. To him,it felt like i said there was no future for us. Right after that we were sort of in an intimate position and he wanted sex. I refused as usual and the man blew up. I was so scared that day that i started to cry and he had to start begging. I dont know what to do. I have only told about three of my friends. Two want me to marry him and the other said nah. Maybe you and your friends may have a bit to say too.
I'm not quite sure what you're asking. If all his wife did was pack and leave then they're still married.
If you're asking if you should get married before you accomplish those things you want to before marriage, my answer would be ask him to wait, you're still young, what's the rush?
If you're asking whether you should give in and have sex with him, I'd say you shouldn't. You already know what you want and you sound very certain, why compromise on it just to please someone else?