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Dear Thelma...




Good morning. Please help me post anonymously. Some of us suffer to get a job and when we do we regret ever getting the job. Please how do you cope with a boss that hates you? Everything I do irritates her, nothing is ever good enough even when I put in all my effort. She insults me every opportunity she gets and is constantly embarassing me in front of my colleagues. It's as if she's trying to frustrate me into leaving my job but I cannot leave because we know how things are in this country. It gets so bad that I'm suffering from depression and when I'm going to work every morning I'm almost at the point of tears. I have done everything that I can, I've tried everything, it's as if she just hates me. Please who has been in this kind of situation? What should I do? 

Comments

  1. My long comment just disappeared...arrggghhHh. Can't write again, let me just face my work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so sorry Anon. I don't know why that happens. Pls next time if you type a lengthy comment copy it before you publish, so that if it disappears you can just paste and publish again.

      Delete
  2. Sweetie, 1st I'll give U a Hug! Kpele.
    If I were in ur shoes, i'll do 1 of 3 things.
    *1: I'll Endure & Endure & Endure while applying for other jobs.
    *2: if I can't handle 1 due to the depression u talked about, i'll simply quit & be more ferocious in my quest for a new job...
    So Sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  3. 1st to comment........
    My dear PRAY! always mention her name in your prayers.ask God to fight your battles for you but remember to ALWAYS MENTION HER NAME and ask God to cause peace to reign in her heart while you are there till he gives you a better job.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haba ANON AND RUTHY, woz meaning of this na,tot i was 1st sef.

      Delete
  4. Haaaaaa,prayer is the key my dear,mention her NaME in your prayers n serious prayers ohhh because I remember my former boss hated me for no reason,she made sure I was blackmailed,lied on,frustrated my life all because the director,a male n d owner of the organization was fond of me,she felt I was dating d man n she vowed it would not happen,she worsened it by using juju,nne I was bedridden for a month,it got worse because she found out boss still paid me for that month. I n mum went into seven days dry with prayers,lo n behold she stated telling people to beg me to leave her alone dat I keep chasing her in her dreams,cut d long story short,I finally had peace n I could breathe,since that day,she no chook mouth for my matter till I left the organization myself. Try challenging her because most of these boss are not strong,stand up to her n speak ur mind,if she has a heart,she go think am wella.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I agree with Mabel! My aunt had the same problem.. lol... she took her case to God in prayer on MFM altar in prayercity! That's how much it worried her. Not only did the boss stop disturbing her, she got a better Job. Now her former boss calls her to say hi, asks her question(that relates to her job) et al. So dear poster. You'll be amazed at how much prayers can solve.

    My aunt's friends advised her to stand up to her and all.. she refused o! She simply prayed! And the Lord worked it out perfectly.

    ReplyDelete
  6. What i want to say will be very hard, in addiction to praying concerning. Show her love, the kind that'll make her feel guilty, be nice even when she doesn't recongnise it, greet her even if she won't respond. That with your prayers,she will be the one begging you

    ReplyDelete
  7. The boss does not hate you except if the two of you have a secret together that you are not sharing. People do what they do for themselves alone, your boss may have emotional problems and making you look stupid/small could be the only way she can survive/live or have some peace. Her marriage may be in trouble or she may simply have psycho issues.

    Prayer does help but you have to take practical steps to deal with issues like this. First understand she will always do the things you wrote to you and stop behaving in the usual way you have been behaving. The change in behavior usually causes confusion to people abusing others.

    Do you have a strong HR organization? You may need to report her, try get evidences too so you can show proof (digital recorder). Make sure to file a report of abuse and follow through, it may slow down your promotion (unlikely except if your organization supports victimization) but it will get her off your back and give you peace of mind.
    Lastly, do a damn go job all the time. Sometimes, employees really fall short without knowing, get a mentor or anybody that could give you a true assessment of your performance. Motion without progress is possible (jogging on the spot), you may think you are doing well on the job but that may not be true.
    God will surely handle the rest if you ask Him to and do your part.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wale, chop knuckle. Know your policies and procedures. Have the law on your side and file a grievance. But have evidence. Record her insulting you. She's a bully. She will not expect you to complain. If HR stalls, tell them you will go to industrial court. Such people get away with this behavior because people are scared to complain. Know your rights and stand your ground. She will back down.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Prayer is the key. Anoda trick, when eva she tries to put u down in the presence of ur colleagues, imagine she is naked. Or a bird pooed on her face, It will make u laff. Works for me all d time. And always tell ur self " she is too small to make me feel bad! " She too small".
    My dear this life is too short to live in fear, depression and sadness. Keep doing ur best. And remember no body has the right to make u feel bad unless u allow them.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I just love reading "Dear Thelma..." posts. lol

    ReplyDelete
  11. So sorry dear. The work place shldnt be a depressing place we go to considering how much time we spend there.

    There are many ways to deal with issues like this but God is the ultimate. However you must have several issues checked.

    How good are you at ur job, considering ur predicament, u must work towards being great at wat u do. Exceed expectations of ur boss.



    While praying to God, do not allow ur depression get the upper hand, act confident, not rude but pls don't allow the negativity get to you.

    I have had my fair share of wicked, mean n evil bosses.

    While I was working at a Bank, I had A very jealous and mean female boss, she was always on my case, she wasn't even my main boss, she was deputy to the main boss. She was always angry when she saw me, she wld come to inspect my shoes, clothes n hair style. It was guys at the office that told me she was simply fine jealous. I eventually had to stand up to her.

    There was also a male boss who was very rigid andd hot tempered. Not just to me anyway, but to all staff. I handled that one by being very nice, sound in my job and made myself very valuable. Till date he is my friend.

    Thhe worst was a lecturer at school who wanted to frustrate me. This one I simply took it to the Altar of God to handle it. He was eventually put to shame. Most importantly, I was a very sound student so I no fear.

    Bottom line, shame ur boss by knowing ur onions and holding God well. She will bow down by God's grace. Clare

    ReplyDelete
  12. So sorry dear. The work place shldnt be a depressing place we go to considering how much time we spend there.

    There are many ways to deal with issues like this but God is the ultimate. However you must have several issues checked.

    How good are you at ur job, considering ur predicament, u must work towards being great at wat u do. Exceed expectations of ur boss.



    While praying to God, do not allow ur depression get the upper hand, act confident, not rude but pls don't allow the negativity get to you.

    I have had my fair share of wicked, mean n evil bosses.

    While I was working at a Bank, I had A very jealous and mean female boss, she was always on my case, she wasn't even my main boss, she was deputy to the main boss. She was always angry when she saw me, she wld come to inspect my shoes, clothes n hair style. It was guys at the office that told me she was simply fine jealous. I eventually had to stand up to her.

    There was also a male boss who was very rigid andd hot tempered. Not just to me anyway, but to all staff. I handled that one by being very nice, sound in my job and made myself very valuable. Till date he is my friend.

    Thhe worst was a lecturer at school who wanted to frustrate me. This one I simply took it to the Altar of God to handle it. He was eventually put to shame. Most importantly, I was a very sound student so I no fear.

    Bottom line, shame ur boss by knowing ur onions and holding God well. She will bow down by God's grace. Clare

    ReplyDelete
  13. So sorry dear. The work place shldnt be a depressing place we go to considering how much time we spend there.

    There are many ways to deal with issues like this but God is the ultimate. However you must have several issues checked.

    How good are you at ur job, considering ur predicament, u must work towards being great at wat u do. Exceed expectations of ur boss.



    While praying to God, do not allow ur depression get the upper hand, act confident, not rude but pls don't allow the negativity get to you.

    I have had my fair share of wicked, mean n evil bosses.

    While I was working at a Bank, I had A very jealous and mean female boss, she was always on my case, she wasn't even my main boss, she was deputy to the main boss. She was always angry when she saw me, she wld come to inspect my shoes, clothes n hair style. It was guys at the office that told me she was simply fine jealous. I eventually had to stand up to her.

    There was also a male boss who was very rigid andd hot tempered. Not just to me anyway, but to all staff. I handled that one by being very nice, sound in my job and made myself very valuable. Till date he is my friend.

    Thhe worst was a lecturer at school who wanted to frustrate me. This one I simply took it to the Altar of God to handle it. He was eventually put to shame. Most importantly, I was a very sound student so I no fear.

    Bottom line, shame ur boss by knowing ur onions and holding God well. She will bow down by God's grace. Clare

    ReplyDelete
  14. I am just resting from a similar case at work! D only thing I hav not done to please Mr Mike na to clean him ynash after he shit! As in the man just turned on me like crazy! Anytime the guys in the office hold my hands or pull my cheek like dis...heeeeey...Mr Mike go shout! Everything I do ..he would frustrate and even wanted to attack me with my appraisal but thank God he is not my line manager...but...the day came...he asked me to do something and I said NO! He felt like someone slapped him. My heart was racing but I stood my ground moreso cos the errand was not even official and he asked dat I leave the office etc. My other colleagues then turned on him and he was kind of ashamed. As i type now its almost 3 wks since Mr Mike raised his voice at me again and I have been giving him 'straight face' since then so the fear of him saying Joy get me this or that sef dey worry am....Praaaaaise the Looooord! Lolzzzz...my dear there would be some cases where you might need to stand up to this person and until you can do this....the bullying might never stop......#JoyDaNuGirl

    ReplyDelete

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