Skip to main content

In Defense Of Those Who Live Fake Lives...

I read Sika Osei's post on Bella Naija yesterday. In the article, she wrote about how she accompanied her Flatmate for a company event at one of the big hotels on the Island and at the gate they were rudely interrogated by the security, who asked what business they had there in a way that suggested they were there for the sole purpose of servicing a man for money. She also included that they were in a taxi. In the comment section someone said something interesting; it's more likely that they received that shabby treatment because they were in a taxi and not because they were two young ladies who visited the hotel alone, chances are that if they rode in in a Range Rover or CRV even the reception would have been much warmer. 

I can't agree more. I've had reason to visit similar hotels here in Lagos and I can tell you for a fact that the reception is a whole lot different when you walk in on foot, visit in a cab and drive in a posh ride. I've done all three to one hotel and this is how it went. 

Walk in on foot (I took a bus)- The minute you attempt to step in through the gate you're treated like your face was on a Wanted poster for robbery within their hotel. They didn't only stop me, they stopped me, asked me who I was, who I was there to see, gave me forms to fill, searched my bag, 
and when I questioned why I was being put through all that, they had this you either comply or get lost attitude. 

Visit in a cab- They approached the cab and asked who I was, why I was there and if someone was expecting me, they looked into the taxi and deliberately wasted my time for no obvious reason. No forms were filled. 

Drive in a posh ride- They rushed to open the gate, gave me a parking tab and ushered me in. No forms, no questions, no searches, no inspection, just cheerful politeness and reverence. 

So you see... And this isn't restricted to expensive hotels alone. Ever walked into salons like Downtown or Make-me (high-end salons) and notice the way the hairdressers and staff give you a once-over before deciding what kind of treatment they should give you? If you have car keys dangling from your hands they rush to you like you're a Nigerian politician sharing money, when they ask what you want and your tongue emits a foreign accent they may practically lift you in the air and carry you to your very comfortable seat. If your heels are very high and your phones very fancy-looking they will stay by your side all through tending to your every need. 

Woe betide you if walk in and you have neither car keys, a British accent nor an iPhone. You wee beg them to attend to you, and when they eventually do you WILL be treated like they're servicing you for free. 

And that's why the day my sister and I went to Downton and there was this lady whose Bristish accent would put the Queen's to shame, we weren't surprised to see them treat her like she walks on water. 'Miss British' wouldn't shut up, she was very loud and annoying and we tried to ignore her. Then suddenly some very ordinary-looking lady walked in and shouted "*Ngozika nawa o! E don tey wen I see you!". We were shocked to see that she was talking to Miss British and we all thought she must be mistaken. Miss British acted all confused, all I-don't-know-who-you-are-don't-come-near-me. It was so real that she started to get offended, adamant that she didn't know the commoner. However the commoner stubbornly refused to leave her alone insisting that Ngozika admit that they were good old friends, and it was then Miss British muttered in a low tone "Nne nawa o! Why you wan f*ck me up like dis". My sister and I had our mouths hanging in the air. True story!

My sister's hairdresser told us we ain't seen nothing yet, that the kind of 'forming' they witness at the salon on a daily basis was on another level. We burst into laughter and we couldn't stop talking about it till we got home. 

But really, can we blame the lady? Can we blame the people who keep up appearances in the type of world where you're treated like a nobody if you're driving not the most expensive cars, carrying an iPhone 6, wearing ten rolls of Peruvian, Egyptian, Eurasian and Mongolian hair on one head, spotting a designer bag and walking with your heels touching your bottom just so people can see that your shoes are Loubs?

Who's to blame in this scenario? The person who treats people with no respect because they don't LOOK like they're living the champagne life OR 
The person who pretends that they're living the Champagne life so that they can be treated with respect?

Do tell...

Photo source:


  1. LOL. Ngozika! Na the 'kind' things wey we dey see for this country.
    I don't even know who to blame. But I'd rather not fake it.

  2. Thelma your description of those big salons is very apt, that's why I started managing my neighbourhood salon biko.

  3. Thelma u didn't tell us what u went to look for in the same hotel 3times. Oya come and confess. People should not live fake lives, period. But those people who treat you based on how much they think you have are even more useless. #lagoslife

  4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  5. This post reminds me of PRETTY LIARS.....Nse Ekpe Etim and Funke Akindele did justice to that film

    I finally get to comment......... YAAAAAAAY!!!!!

    Michelle Li

  6. My comment finally went.........YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

    dancing etighi,shoki,sekem,alanta.......

  7. Madam Li no make me piss for body biko!

    To ur tent oh Isreal, if u want to live a fake life, Goodluck. If u want to live a real life, fine.
    As for me, my low key life is keeping me happy & comfy!
    Considering how expensive those high end saloons are, I wont go there! No be say them sabi do hair sef! Mtchewww!

  8. It also happens in the corporate world and Churches.

    I typed a comment about an experience I had in an office but it disappeared. No energy to retype.


  9. Sasha wld say,c'est la vie du Nigeria.

  10. The make hair better nd cheaper in Tejuosho market and the service you get is very decent, but stay away from superglue nails.

  11. @ruky, don't trust those market saloon ooooh! Haba...
    Some yrs ago when my sis would complain abt me drving in traffic, to downtown to make my hair, I decided to try some cool shop not far from home, it was half the price YES, but my hair was recked, the sewing was "pissh". Thanks I would stick to my "onions"

    Fake life...I am sure I could write an epistle about so many cuties I know, one even fakes ghanian accent, when she visited twice till date and her stay isn't more than 1week max. no be say na better country sef. hey! Who am I to jugde? Whatever floats ones boat.

    1. Ghana? Women sha, not even british accent.

    2. @Blink my cousin took me there she has her own customer and the lady made my hair well , better than they do in 12N2 . For the 2,500 I paid it was al-right.

  12. Lol. May God help us. Simsi


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…


Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Closed Chapter...

Hello everyone, yesterday a friend said to me, Thelma I love your blog, I've told so many people about your blog, I think you're a very good writer but I feel there's something you're not doing right"

This friend was the first person who won our beauty of the day contest back then in 2014. Then we had met just once through a mutual friend. I mentioned the blog to her and she became an instant reader. I wouldn't have exactly called her a friend then but yesterday as we sat down waiting for our Uber to come get us from Wal-Mart, she's definitely my friend and I knew she was coming from a good place when she said she had much higher expectations of my blog.

Me too.

But you see, in the last year or so, maybe even longer than that, I haven't felt much joy in blogging. It began to feel more and more of a laborious chore, one which I hardly reaped any fruits from.

I really love writing, I love sharing my life and my experiences with others and I've enjoy…

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa