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In Defense Of Those Who Live Fake Lives...





I read Sika Osei's post on Bella Naija yesterday. In the article, she wrote about how she accompanied her Flatmate for a company event at one of the big hotels on the Island and at the gate they were rudely interrogated by the security, who asked what business they had there in a way that suggested they were there for the sole purpose of servicing a man for money. She also included that they were in a taxi. In the comment section someone said something interesting; it's more likely that they received that shabby treatment because they were in a taxi and not because they were two young ladies who visited the hotel alone, chances are that if they rode in in a Range Rover or CRV even the reception would have been much warmer. 



I can't agree more. I've had reason to visit similar hotels here in Lagos and I can tell you for a fact that the reception is a whole lot different when you walk in on foot, visit in a cab and drive in a posh ride. I've done all three to one hotel and this is how it went. 

Walk in on foot (I took a bus)- The minute you attempt to step in through the gate you're treated like your face was on a Wanted poster for robbery within their hotel. They didn't only stop me, they stopped me, asked me who I was, who I was there to see, gave me forms to fill, searched my bag, 
and when I questioned why I was being put through all that, they had this you either comply or get lost attitude. 

Visit in a cab- They approached the cab and asked who I was, why I was there and if someone was expecting me, they looked into the taxi and deliberately wasted my time for no obvious reason. No forms were filled. 

Drive in a posh ride- They rushed to open the gate, gave me a parking tab and ushered me in. No forms, no questions, no searches, no inspection, just cheerful politeness and reverence. 


So you see... And this isn't restricted to expensive hotels alone. Ever walked into salons like Downtown or Make-me (high-end salons) and notice the way the hairdressers and staff give you a once-over before deciding what kind of treatment they should give you? If you have car keys dangling from your hands they rush to you like you're a Nigerian politician sharing money, when they ask what you want and your tongue emits a foreign accent they may practically lift you in the air and carry you to your very comfortable seat. If your heels are very high and your phones very fancy-looking they will stay by your side all through tending to your every need. 

Woe betide you if walk in and you have neither car keys, a British accent nor an iPhone. You wee beg them to attend to you, and when they eventually do you WILL be treated like they're servicing you for free. 

And that's why the day my sister and I went to Downton and there was this lady whose Bristish accent would put the Queen's to shame, we weren't surprised to see them treat her like she walks on water. 'Miss British' wouldn't shut up, she was very loud and annoying and we tried to ignore her. Then suddenly some very ordinary-looking lady walked in and shouted "*Ngozika nawa o! E don tey wen I see you!". We were shocked to see that she was talking to Miss British and we all thought she must be mistaken. Miss British acted all confused, all I-don't-know-who-you-are-don't-come-near-me. It was so real that she started to get offended, adamant that she didn't know the commoner. However the commoner stubbornly refused to leave her alone insisting that Ngozika admit that they were good old friends, and it was then Miss British muttered in a low tone "Nne nawa o! Why you wan f*ck me up like dis". My sister and I had our mouths hanging in the air. True story!

My sister's hairdresser told us we ain't seen nothing yet, that the kind of 'forming' they witness at the salon on a daily basis was on another level. We burst into laughter and we couldn't stop talking about it till we got home. 

But really, can we blame the lady? Can we blame the people who keep up appearances in the type of world where you're treated like a nobody if you're driving not the most expensive cars, carrying an iPhone 6, wearing ten rolls of Peruvian, Egyptian, Eurasian and Mongolian hair on one head, spotting a designer bag and walking with your heels touching your bottom just so people can see that your shoes are Loubs?

Who's to blame in this scenario? The person who treats people with no respect because they don't LOOK like they're living the champagne life OR 
The person who pretends that they're living the Champagne life so that they can be treated with respect?


Do tell...


Photo source: madamenoire.com

Comments

  1. LOL. Ngozika! Na the 'kind' things wey we dey see for this country.
    I don't even know who to blame. But I'd rather not fake it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thelma your description of those big salons is very apt, that's why I started managing my neighbourhood salon biko.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thelma u didn't tell us what u went to look for in the same hotel 3times. Oya come and confess. People should not live fake lives, period. But those people who treat you based on how much they think you have are even more useless. #lagoslife

    ReplyDelete
  4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This post reminds me of PRETTY LIARS.....Nse Ekpe Etim and Funke Akindele did justice to that film

    I finally get to comment......... YAAAAAAAY!!!!!

    Michelle Li

    ReplyDelete
  6. My comment finally went.........YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!


    dancing etighi,shoki,sekem,alanta.......

    ReplyDelete
  7. Madam Li no make me piss for body biko!

    To ur tent oh Isreal, if u want to live a fake life, Goodluck. If u want to live a real life, fine.
    As for me, my low key life is keeping me happy & comfy!
    Considering how expensive those high end saloons are, I wont go there! No be say them sabi do hair sef! Mtchewww!

    ReplyDelete
  8. It also happens in the corporate world and Churches.

    I typed a comment about an experience I had in an office but it disappeared. No energy to retype.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
  9. Lol...as Sasha wld say,c'est la vie du Nigeria.

    ReplyDelete
  10. The make hair better nd cheaper in Tejuosho market and the service you get is very decent, but stay away from superglue nails.

    ReplyDelete
  11. @ruky, don't trust those market saloon ooooh! Haba...
    Some yrs ago when my sis would complain abt me drving in traffic, to downtown to make my hair, I decided to try some cool shop not far from home, it was half the price YES, but my hair was recked, the sewing was "pissh". Thanks I would stick to my "onions"

    Fake life...I am sure I could write an epistle about so many cuties I know, one even fakes ghanian accent, when she visited twice till date and her stay isn't more than 1week max. no be say na better country sef. hey! Who am I to jugde? Whatever floats ones boat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ghana? Women sha, not even british accent.

      Delete
    2. @Blink my cousin took me there she has her own customer and the lady made my hair well , better than they do in 12N2 . For the 2,500 I paid it was al-right.

      Delete
  12. Lol. May God help us. Simsi

    ReplyDelete

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