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Is She Asking For Too Much?

In a conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursing this question: “What kind of a man are you looking for?” She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking, “Do you really want to know?” Reluctantly, he said, Yes.
She began to expound…

As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do to me that I can’t do for myself? I am in a position to ask, ‘What can you bring to the table?’ The man looked at her. Clearly she thought she was referring to money. She corrected his thought and stated, I am not referring to money, I need something more.
I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life. He gently sat back in his chair & asked her to explain further. She said, I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation.
I don’t need a simple-minded man, I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don’t need to be unequally yoked, believer mixed with unbeliever is a recipe for disaster.
I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don’t need a financial burden.
I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded.
I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships, lies, sweet-talking, and game playing are not my idea of a strong man.
I need a man who is family-oriented, one who can be a leader , priest provider to the lives entrusted to him by God.
I need someone whom I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him, I cannot be submissive to a man who isn’t taking care of his business and his family. I have no problem being submissive….. he just has to be worthy.
And by the way, I am not looking for him….He will find me. He will recognize himself in me. He may not be able to explain the connection, but he will always be drawn to me.
He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, ‘You are asking for a lot’.
She replied ” I am worth a lot”.

I found this on Instagram. 
Its a beautiful piece, don't you think? But I find that I have some questions as I'm genuinely 'concerned'. 

Every single lady reading this would read each sentence and scream "you go girl!", but I ask because the older ones say once a man loves you, respects you and cares for you then you have a good husband on your hands. 

Is it realistic for us single ones to expect all this from one person? I'm asking because I'm very curious about your opinions. Is this woman asking for too much? Should she relax her 'standards'? Is she setting the bar too high? How likely is she to find all these in one man? And in the event that she does, would it guarantee a happy marriage?

Please share your thoughts?


  1. I do not think she is asking for too much and these are realistic qualities....this is someone that knows her worth and knows exactly what she wants. Not knowing what you want in a man is already setting urself up for a disaster.
    I'm not saying that him having all these qualities guarantees a happy marriage, but i will say that marriage is not only about love but choosing what you can live with.
    there's no perfect husband or wife but there are certain dealbreakers every lady should have to achieve the sort of marriage you want.
    I believe every marriage will have its hi's and the low season she is able to look pass his faults and still love because of the good qualities he possesses.

  2. Everyone claims they want someone who's "striving" at something but what they actually mean is that the person shld already be that No one wants to come in and start complaining at/for/about anything forgetting that they said striving early on in their search...

  3. Biko just make me HAPPY!!!
    I know a lot of men who are all of the above & more but can't even make a woman smile! Life is that ironic!

    If u like, be John Okafor or Osita Iheme, if U make me Genuinely Happy, It's Our happily ever after baby! Everything else is vanity!

  4. I thought the qualities listed would be those unrealistic ones usually on display in the social network, but these seem fine. Striving for excellence in spirituality and finances, has integrity, is sensitive to the nature of women, and family oriented. That's realistic. She's even ready to be submissive. *Mighty Grin*.

    By the way...why are these stray cats making weird sounds at my window?

    1. Question for the gods. Lol

  5. Love, care and respect even isnt enough. Would he do all that under a bridge? What if he cant provide for and take care of his family. A man that cannot provide for his family has denied his faith and is worse than an "$%&*** (biblical).

    One could even strive for financial excellence and never even get there and like Sasha said, ideally, the person should already be there. So, merely loving, caring and respecting does not a good husband make! Finances remain the leading cause of divorce. Just saying.

    1. chai did i just gbagaun? i meant "arent" not "isnt". Damn. lol

  6. She is asking for too much! My response is strictly based on my spiritual belief.

    There is only one quality a man need to have, he should know and serve God. A man with this singular quality will possess all the other qualities and more. It is for the same reason I am against a man insisting on a woman knowing how to cook before she can be considered a wife material.

    There is a reason Jesus Christ said we should seek first the kingdom of God and its righteousness.

    1. It's not everyone who seeks the kingdom of GOD that gain financial excellence or are sensitive to women. Someone who fears GOD could be kindhearted towards women and at the same time cannot comprehend their nature when emotions well in. Almost all religious men will claim to fear GOD, but how many are striving for the qualities demanded of them?

    2. I chose the words carefully when I wrote "know and serve God". You cannot know and serve God and not be a man of excellence (all round), I don't mean to say that you won't face challenges and attacks.
      I avoided using fearing God as a quality because it is embedded somewhere in knowing and serving God but at the same time not enough as a stand alone quality for what I was trying to communicate.

      A man that truly knows and truly serving God will be working towards having the standards God expects of His children. Let's forget about what religion has brought upon us today.

    3. We're are somehow on the same page, and the only reason why you didn't use "fear of GOD" is because it's been jaundiced by society, sadly. However you realize that:
      1) Some men who know and serve GOD dread the prospects of becoming family men.
      2) Some don't really know how to deal with women, especially when they are in their emotional state. A smiling wife to these men means "all is well" and they rest easy. Sensitive men aren't easily deceived by such facades.
      3) Some men are simple minded. They don't aim for high profile positions in life. They love their simple jobs and businesses and the serenity it brings them.

      These are men who know and serve GOD, but they're a different specie. Monks are among such people. :D

  7. I looove this, OMG Wale is back!


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