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Yay or Nay to This Dad?




We'll vote on something below, but first... Any thoughts on this?


Is this punishment appropriate? Wouldn't it be counterproductive; make her a laughing stock among her peers and possibly affect the little girl psychologically? Or maybe this is actually great parenting?

Really not sure what I think...

But 10 years old though... Wow!



How do you feel about this? Just out of curiousity, let's carry out a vote; would flogging this girl (as per African kind of parenting) have been better, more effective, more appropriate?

Public humiliation vs Lashes of the cane

Which do you support?


Photo source; Laila's blog. 

Comments

  1. We have to sympathise with the people in Obodo Oyibo who are not allowed to beat their kids.They lack the most effective reset button thereby left with little or no options.At 10 (as she does not look it) acting all grown up with a boyfriend, public shaming is better than statutory rape.J

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  2. Flogging. If they've been flogging her all along she would not have had the guts to go this far with FB.

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  3. Anon 11:11pm. Spot on, I think dis is way better dan Rape dat wud even haunt her more For the rest of her life.

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  4. I support this because they aren't allowed to be flogged over there,at least dis sort of punishment would leave her thinking,angry,bitter for a few months but in d course of it all,a message would have been passed n she would have learnt a bit of lesson either way. Ten year olds having boyfriend?I don't blame her though,the height n look makes her all mature.

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  5. Hard to say, not sure how much of counselling the man did before taking this step. Did he warn her he was going to do this if she didn't stop? A whole lot of questions in my head.

    Public shaming of a child is dangerous and can backfire with devastating consequences, I would handle this differently even if it is not allowed to flog the child. There are so many ways to punish kids abroad.

    Good morning folks.

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    Replies
    1. You're right Wale, maybe this was his last resort.

      Delete
  6. Hehheheeheeee reminds me of an episode in the millers . Mrsm

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  7. The man shd sit her down n talk to her on d dangers of what she is doing. If it's in Africa, u'll beat d devil out of d girl. The girls' size is deceiving her n she needs to be told.

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    Replies
    1. How is the devil going to come out with a cane?
      Where is the devil in childish naïvety?

      Delete
  8. The usual way with most foreigners is to ground their kids for a period of time and deprive them of special privileges, e.g., internet and smartphone restrictions. Stern warnings and sit-down-lectures are inclusive. I neither go with flogging (even as an African) nor this crass display above.

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. I was going to reply you but I think I'll make my question a blog post later, so that you can expound and others can weigh in too.

      Delete
  9. this kinda public shaming wont even stop her from doing what she wants... its just a shirt as far as am concerned besides she doesn't look 10. this could even make her hate her dad n become rebellious. you should talk to girls her age shes only going through puberty. i remember wen i was 11 n d whole boobs, big hips, butt, crush, cant wait to grow up tinz were rocking in my head n my area boys wont let me rest cos my body dint look 11. my cousin brother sat me down n talked to me, he started with d whole there is a stage called puberty which every1 goes through so i can understand you r growing blah blah blah(long counseling)... my perspective changed, dropped all the yanga n ever since have been nothing but a good girl.

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    Replies
    1. thats because you reasoned with it right?How about super-stubborn kids, who says talking to them will cure their yang.
      My son is so hot-headed that no amount of talking/pleading and cajoling will get to him, cane na him only language.
      My daughter on the other hand will literally pee on her pants at the sight of cane, talking to her works perfect even though sometimes I had to use the cane to remind her how sweet it was.
      BOTTOMLINE: you have to know the punishment language your kid understands otherwise you're only wasting your time.

      HSF

      Delete
  10. Its a yay for me Thelma, if you've ever ever lived in obodo you will sympathize with parents and Yes, as a yoruba woman I flog and will continue to flog my kids till they show signed that they have started reasoning well.I still flog(whereas my boo talks to her, checks and balances anyone?) my 10 year old and she's a very well grounded all-rounder no psychological ish whatsoever and I make no apologies for it.my kids understand their boundaries.
    HSF

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  11. Raising kids in this Generation is becoming more difficult....the internet and the stuff on TV have all given them impressions that they are SUPER human and all grown up! I just tire abeg...God help us all...but I support the poster who said one must understand which discipline method works for our kids and use it!.....#JoyDaNuGirl

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  12. I say Nay. The father is looking at it from a disobedience point of view, but the essence of why the girls is acting that way may be eluding him. Whilst I am not defending her actions, I believe she has psychological issues that need to be sorted out. She is 10, but feels like her appearance does not match her biological age. She probable feels like a misfit. There are many body issues an average girl has to deal with when growing up, and being 5feet 9 inches at 10 yrs old is not a preferable option to add into the mix.
    She needs someone to sit her down, and tell her it's OK to be different. She needs to see and interact with a few other 'different' people like her.
    Parents need to realise that sometimes, for as long as you treat a child like a rebel, they would remain rebels, but when you come down to their level, and see the world through their eyes, then they would also make an effort to see the world through your eyes.

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    Replies
    1. I don't disagree with you but certain situations can ONLY be corrected by some strokes of the cane, especially with some children.

      Delete
  13. Thelma, I just read the other half of your post - Public humiliation vs Lashes of the cane? .... well, I think neither... but it makes me wonder about our readiness to "punish" children. The Bible says spare the rod, and spoil the child. I agree. But I would also have to say Nigerians may too readily seek for the rod (a.k.a cane, pankere, apipia, etc) option over dialogue, over understanding, over retrieval of benefits, etc. It is a concern that the average Nigerian thinks the only way to train a Hilda is by inflicting body pain. I guess it's food for thought.

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    Replies
    1. Hilda = child*, ... autocorrect :-)

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  14. Some are early bloomers and some are late bloomers. She might be going thru something which neither beating or public embarrassment wld help.
    As for the bf,it is hot pepper water I wld reserve for him.

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  15. yep I support!!! spare the rod and spoil the child. A few strokes of the cane would fix this BUT here's the catch, it needs to be done before a certain age, when the child is still very young(ish). e.g caning a 10year old and caning a 15yr old are two different things and would most times produce different results. I don't really know how best to explain this though but if youre going to cane a child, do it from a young age when their bad behavior can still be changed and worked on and not when they've grown into it. And of course, everything in moderation. If I momma didn't pull my ears and cane me a few times, i know for a fact, i would have turned out a lot different.lol

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