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Your Own Hero...

Some weeks ago I was talking to an old friend of mine who was excited to have finally graduated after so many years of waiting, and also about the possibility of going to law school this year. During the conversation she said to me that she was going to choose Lagos campus because I'm in Lagos, this person is in Lagos, that person is in Lagos, these persons are in Lagos etc, and with us in Lagos she knows she'll have few or no problems, we'll hold her hands and put her through, we'll also take her out and show her the ropes. 

I didn't mince any words and I told her bluntly; bae ain't nobody got time for that! We all have our own ish we're dealing with and everybody is looking ahead-ahead, looking for the people that can help them move forward, not someone who's going to pull them back. You've got to make your own way and be your own hero. 

She was kind of shocked but then I had to make her understand that I wasn't being mean or selfish, merely realistic. One of the girls in question owns and is running her little oil company, the other just had her second child, the other is an extremely busy business woman that's in and out of the country every week and me, I'm trying to get the different legs of my career running and ensure that every month I'm bigger than who/what I was/had the previous month. Nobody's got that time.
     Of course we would not abandon you when you come into town, we're your friends and you're new in town so we'll be there for you. But there WILL be a limit, because "nor be you carry us come Lagos", you're not the reason we're here and nobody has the time to be someone else's hero right now. 

And although this friend in question is a few years older than I am and I hated to break it to her this way, it's the truth. I've learnt that nobody is going to save me, everyone is too busy trying to save themselves. The sooner you realize this the better for you. 

Of course in all this we continue to pray that God sends us help and helpers, but first live your life like you are completely On Your Own, it's the safest bet you have. 

Have an awesome week ahead guys!

Anything spectacular happen over the weekend? Please share, I'd love to live vicariously. 


  1. Nothing spectacular happened, just grateful to God to be back in good health.

    Irony of life. You're still trying to "find" time for yourself and someone else wants to fit in. But the truth is nobody is that busy. If you really want to, you will. And sometimes when you really really want to, you just can't. Ironic.

  2. What U told her is the sad Truth T.
    Everyone has got to be their own hero! As much as i'll support my friends in every way I can esp with my Time cos I have a LOT of it right now, when it has to do with anything other than that, it's a No-No.
    Give only what u have, don't go overboard.

  3. Hmm,in life ur always adviced to do things when ur mates are but then again, some are early bloomers while some are late bloomers. In life we owe no one anything and like wise,no one owes u nadda but then again,its our empathy and human compassion and conscience that sees us as our brothers keeper just like Christ advised.

  4. Hmmmmmmmmm. T, u really hit d nail on the head. I once told a friend something similar and till today she doesn't speak to me,funny thing is I didn't sound rude,told it to her like I was speaking to my own blood. Nothing serious happened over the weekend only that I got to break someone's head yesterday,d guy passed his bounds not my fault. But he his getting better.LOL

  5. the weekend.... uhmnnn i wrote this aptitude test... omoh... e get power! lol.... now i know why i"ll always choose maths over English! lol.... the time was not enough but i did my best! so yeah! in Dr. Sola's voice.... *and then you know that's all!* lol

    You told your friend the honest truth o! but some people don't really like the truth e.g Mabel's friend. But you did the right thing.

    btw... iv not been able to comment on posts o! thru my phone that is... nah my lappie i dey use. mstchew! annoying tin!


  6. Sorry..but what are you friends for if you won't try to help her out in her down times. Moreover, I am sure you would also be getting help from other people as you try to get better than you previously were. True friendship is about sacrifice..but what do I know.

    1. Shy girl, what you know isn't wrong. But the truth is that you get to a point in life where you realize that life is a cut throat jungle where survival is only for the fittest. At this point we're all fighting for our own survival, taking on someone else's is no joke. Like I said we wouldn't abandon her, I know I wouldn't. But she shouldn't expect too much. And I'm saying this based on my personal experiences, you are on your own in this life. It's the sad truth.

  7. Yes shy girl,T is right,u know what I refer this world to as? This world is a dog eat dog world. Wait ohhh,T where is Mr wale?

  8. Unfortunately, a lot of people fail to realise early enough that they need to be their own hero and this is the reason why there are a lot of "....................." (whats the word now?) people around. Too many times we rely so much on people to get through and actually feel some kind of entitlement either towards family or friends, Sadly the truth is, no one is indebted to you, in the end. The earlier I realized this, the better for me. I only look up to God, if he will use you as my family or friend, nothing will stop it. I don't need to lick ur ass or throw myself completely on you for help, NO. I throw myself on God and allow him to direct and work his plan for my life.


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