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Blog Reader Asks (How Important is Parents' Blessing?)

My boyfriend and I are planning to wed next year but my parents have said that if I marry him nobody from my family will attend the wedding, that they won't give me their blessings and he will not be recognized as my husband in my family. I love him so much Thelma, I'm not a child so I know what I want. He is a good man and I have peace with him. My mother said that besides the main problem tha he belongs to another church they took his picture to our family pastor and they said he is not my husband. My parents said if I insist on marrying him then I am on my own. What I just want to know is what are the advantages and disadvantages of marrying without your parents blessing? 

Please can someone shed more light on this issue of taking a person's picture to men/women of God to check if they are the wife or husband? Does it really work? I have friends who have left or been left by a partner because one pastor or the other said they were not the one. Please how does this work? 


  1. T, the picture tingy is the height of Stupidity that ever existed on earth!
    It happened to me too. Pastor say if we marry we go divorce in 1month, no reason why or how to overcome it, his siblings were the executors. Threatened to disown him et al. But dude na wet bread so good riddance! Prophets of doom are everywhere! Hugely the reason why the world is upside down!

    Dear Poster, give ur parents a reasonable amount of time to come around & do everything to enforce that. Beg like it's ur life (cos it is). If they still refuse, & U are extremely sure this man gives U peace & happiness, Go ahead & marry him. It's either they come around in the future or U make God ur Mom/Dad cos God's blessing is ALL u need... people wey be orphans no dey Marry? Biko Enjay tell her ur story!

    1. Easier said dan done! BTW ruthy is always commenting on evrthing, even wen she doesn't knw what to say, she'd comment dah she doesn't knw what to say! hian!

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      #Hugs&Kisses #I'mAddictedToTTB

    3. Story 4 d Gods! 4ur mind... #yimu

    4. Ruthy u fall my hand na,na the iPhone 6s u need

  2. This picture issue...I really don't know what to say about it. I won't rule out the possibility of it being real though; afterall the Israelites used things like the Thunim in casting lots or knowing GOD'S Will then, but still, I won't be a *victim* to picture verdicts. Pray fervently for GOD'S Direction. Shikena.

    As for Parents' Blessing. As adults we know what we want and know what affects us positively or negatively to a large extent. Most of our parents are blinded by religious and tribal sentiments and try as much as possible to let their kids follow suit. I believe in obedience and submission to parents, so long as I understand that doing such, it won't lead to my depression or lead to sin. If the only reason for them being against your marriage is because of trival sentiments, then I'll advice you to go ahead with the wedding. Make sure you don't quarrel with your family members and always be at peace with them; "we're all called to make peace" - St. Paul. That way, GOD will bless your marriage. I've read about a lady who's family refused to talk to her for 3 YEARS because she married an Ijebu man (she's Yoruba by the way). But because she never fought with them, they were the ones begging to come back after all that time. Smh.

  3. Verily, parents play a huge role in the psyche of any postive individual.. Anybody who goes about life thinking that it is not compulsory to please his parents is sorely misguided. Pleasing your is pleasing the Lord coz the Lord is pleased whn we obey our parents.
    @ Poster, though marriage between two partners without the explicit blessings of their parents is technically still valid, the bride and groom are seriously doing themselves a great disservice. Parents play a significant psychological and spiritual role in the lives of their children, and for the respective bride and groom to avoid seeking the blessings of their parents will result in the couple depriving themselves of a huge gift, which will only lead to future repercussions in their lives and in the lives of their children; the initial pleasure between the newly-wed couple may indeed be very well short-lived.
    With that being said, many parents nowadays have issues with the decisions their children make in choosing a spouse. Sadly, many of these “reasons” are fundamentally unfounded, such as the ones u listed above. So all u gotta do is act like Ruthilicious advised above. Beg if u have to, do everythg in your reach to make them reason with you. If they don't, jes go ahead with your marriage if u feel like your love is strong to stand the test of time, and your parent would come through 4 u later in life coz U are one blood. We've had cases like that many times. But I personally won't advice anyone 2 take that route.

    So d ball is in ur court.

    As 4 visiting a prophet with pics, that's BALDERDASH.

  4. Lie you are pregnant ?

  5. Put faith in your God. Thats first, pray for their minds to be changed. Set a date in faith, involve them in the planning process. Ask them for their prayers etc. Dont be stubborn and respond to their malice if they direct it towards you. Be sure to emphasize how happy you are being with your partner.

  6. Hmm. Pastors are everywhere. Even those who attend both the orthodox and non-orthodox seek these people when it's time for their child to marry.

    Now,it's good for a family to support a child when deciding to marry a partner,its also normal for parents to have their reservations over the choice of the spouse,I can even understand when a parent decide not to attend the wedding they don't approve of but what I wldnt support is a family being the catalyst of the wedding falling apart or not providing family support to the newly weds simply because they didn't support the union.
    As far as I'm concerned,its only a wicked family that wld watch their child go thru pain in their marriage and not lend support simply as a way of saying "I told u so".
    When ur child is 18+ he/she has a right to make their choices and live with its consequence but it's also their duty to be there for that child when shit hits the fan.

    Now I wld equally ask: Are curses stronger than blessings? If one parent blesses/supports the union and the other doesnt,shld one go ahead with it?

  7. I have tried to wrap my head round this pastor approving ones choice in a life partner and I still cant.
    What is your relationship with your fiances family like? If they love and accept you and you are financially independent, And you can live without your parents blessing. I say go for it. However you have to be the type of person who can take decisions on your own and not need to consult various people people. Because if the relationship becomes physically abusive in future you HAVE to leave without considering the "shame"
    Because with or without your parents a relationship will still turn out the way it will.
    So what I am saying is that you have to be an emotionally strong person who dont need people to be able to go ahead with this marriage.
    Good luck.

  8. The picture-Pastor-Prayer-Verdict: I didn't take a picture in my own case. Just his name and everything I was told about my (ex) husband came to pass. Remaining obstinate afterwards brought me to where I am today. One thing was I also had direct revelations which correlated with what the 'man of God' told me but which I couldn't accept because the man seemed too good to be the one described by the prophet or in my visions. You can imagine my shock that somebody I grew up knowing (all my life) was actually a total stranger.

    Parents' Blessings: My mother (lost my father years ago) and my folks never accepted him. Here I am today, a single mother of 3.

    My advice: pray to God to open your spiritual eyes. In your situation, nothing anyone says will make a difference to you as your mind is made up on going ahead with your boyfriend.Please let God direct your decision. Whichever decision you make without any external interference leaves only yourself to blame if anything goes wrong.

    Wish you all the best.


  9. Parental blessing/consent is really really important. Provs 21 v 1:The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turns it wherever he will.... so just pray that God should touch their hearts...
    Truth is, it might just be a warning signal.. cuz sometimes they(our parents) see what we do not see. Most times most of us are blinded by love/lust/infatuation and we fill our heart with a false sense of hope and peace. Until the veil is brutally removed.
    I do not believe in taking pictures to prophets or pastors to validate a person.(too many wolves in sheep clothing these days) I believe you should be your own prophet.. hear from God by yourself. And if truly it's God's will and purpose that you two should be married... take your parents to God in prayer. whether they are staunch unbelievers or not... the Lord would touch their hearts and they'll come around. but trust me, their consent/blessing is really really important.

  10. You may not totally agree with me but even though I find the picture thing a bit strange, all I have to say is "honour your father and your mother so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you..."-Exodus 20:12

    I am a very firm believer in parents blessings/obeying parents because I believe there is a unique kind of blessing attached to it. Even if I love a man to bits and my parents say a big fat NO to the union, I will definitely drop him like a bad habit because I would believe that there must be something that they can see/have seen which I cant/haven't.

    Ever heard of the proverb which goes "what an adult can see while seated, a young man cannot see while standing"?

  11. Parents blessing is very important but God's blessing is the ultimate. At the end of the day you are the one that will live with the man and not them. Pray to God to direct your path and if you are certain he is your husband go ahead. There are many marriages that break up even with the parents blessing, spouses die even with parent's blessing, childless marriages even with the parents blessing The success of a marriage lies with God and you both.

    Though it is nice to have the support of your parents but your happiness comes first in this situation (taking into consideration their reasons) you can afford to be selfish.

    BTW: being a parent does not automatically make one all knowing. parents are still human beings and their decisions sometimes are clouded by human emotions. J

    1. Thank you. Shit happens w/ or w/o the parents blessing.
      NB: that the family has crisis isn't as a result of the lack of the parents blessings. Marriage comes with its ups and downs.

  12. Hello friend, Wake up and smell the coffee, its you against the world. Let me tell you a bit of my own personal story.

    Am scorpio so that will give you a bit of a background info how stubborn we are, So along comes this Dame that I didn't just want to bed, I wanted for keeps on long term, I really was digging and is still digging her disposition to life, call it a mild tone of my ethos, which I can best define as "My Way or The Highway", off the back of being severally "disowned" without the proclamation, and being viewed as a renegade for no agreeing to tow the family business line. The family discovers that she has a genetic blood anomaly, which in a lot of cases, result in death, the roll out the war boats and them cannon, as a versed war making machine, I roll out mine, we war sotey we tire.

    I married my wife, my mother came for the wedding as a guest, my wedding was the talk of the town cos her "Battalions" no show, booze went round like mad, food was surplus, souvenirs were sufficient to excess, Everybody wnt home after the wedding with a bottle of wine as thank you for coming.

    Today after two years her pastor has finally told her to stop disturbing my wife, now I wonder what the pastor told her initially.

    My dear go ahead, marry you man, be disowned, succeed in life, they will come begging, let their hate fuel your zeal.

  13. God's blessings really are the ultimate, yet same God says to honour one's parents in other to attract certain of those blessings. Still, am not one that is quick to preach the 'honour your parents' gospel at random. At the risk of being a fence sitter, I'd say the ultimate choice is yours to make, as no one here is privy to all the details of the situation.
    My mother honoured her parents by marrying my father against her will and I can't begin to tell you the ripple effect of that. A family friend married without any blessing, and at every point in time her husband and In-laws are quick to remind her verbally that she has no one to run to.
    God forbid that any unhappiness comes your way, but like some have said, shit happens in some marriages regardless...if I was the one, I'd like the comfort of knowing that I have a home that I can run to (and be welcomed) if ever the need arises. Unless you have a very forgiving family dear or you couldn't care less if they cut you off, I'd say think long and hard before you proceed.
    By the way, that picture/name thing feels more like a gypsy fortune telling affair to me. It does work... For they that believe. Same way those online horoscope sites are always almost accurate. Used to be an avid subscriber until I came across a bible passage that likened them (star gazers) to sorcerers and wizards and talked about God's aversion for those that seek them out. I quickly borrowed myself brain till date.

  14. It's a tough call for you, most parents attach a lot of annoying sentiments, and these sentiments usually have noting to do with what they have seen or foreseen.

    Some of our parents can be very inconsiderate and would stop at noting to control the lives of thier kids simply because they can.issues such as yours are even more painful "BF attends a different church as yours"! How will such a thing put bread on the table.
    Parental blessings is a very important factor however you must weigh the consequences of your actions.

    If you are sure he is the one, put it in prayers, give it time and don't be iin a hurry to have a wedding.

    May God guide you.

  15. It's a tough call for you, most parents attach a lot of annoying sentiments, and these sentiments usually have noting to do with what they have seen or foreseen.

    Some of our parents can be very inconsiderate and would stop at noting to control the lives of thier kids simply because they can.issues such as yours are even more painful "BF attends a different church as yours"! How will such a thing put bread on the table.
    Parental blessings is a very important factor however you must weigh the consequences of your actions.

    If you are sure he is the one, put it in prayers, give it time and don't be iin a hurry to have a wedding.

    May God guide you.

  16. You can pray, can't you? If not, you have to learn to pray and pray well because marriage isn't a joke. Ask GOD to reveal his plans for you regarding marriage and for your parents to have a change of heart and support your decision. Add fasting (if you want).

  17. If I might add,if the blessings of parents are that important,why is divorce,DV,cheating husbands and wives,infertility,secret love child/family on the increase?
    It's obvious that the success of a marriage goes beyond the blessings of the parent cos the same bible that says "Honor ur parents" (which by my definition means respect) also says "a watchman watches in vain w/o the presence of the Lord"
    Remember the prodigal son? Despite his disobedience,his dad was still there for him in the end...


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