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Hot, Cold, 3 Days Old...



That guy called Clement.....
Clement, such an outdated name 
I've heard a few but this takes the prize for lame
Everything about him is just wrong
His very existence is a satirical song
I really can't stand his whiny voice 
When he speaks I confuse it for mosquitoes noise
With his nose, so wide and big
I bet when he sleeps he snorts like a pig
Clement's belly resembles a drum
I often advice he feed solely on crumbs 
At the sight of his hair I get a fright
Clement is manageable only in the dark of night.

This guy called Clement.....
Clement, such a sweet sounding name
All mothers should name their sons the same
Everything about him makes my heart sing
I live for they day he'll bless me with a ring
You should hear his voice, so thin, it's cute
Reminiscent of an angel playing the flute 
Clement's nose should be in a portrait 
The magnificence of its size almost makes me prostrate 
My Clement has got belly like a bear
No one can provoke us or even dare
He's got hair so shaggy and thick
Running my hands through it gives me such a kick! 

To hear them talk, you'll have to wonder
What makes one sick, makes the other one fonder,
Now I understand, it's no longer a blur
That one woman's Eeewwww is another woman's Aaawwww. 


******
I wrote this about a year ago and today I'm reminded that one's girl's Eeew is another girl's Aaaw as my friend *Uju is now dating the guy that *Kamsi turned for years. And get this, the reasons Kamsi rejected him are the same reasons Uju fell for him. I'll tell you a few. He's very very very dark skinned, he's also very short, about 5ft5". Uju says this is her spec

Uju is weird I know but apparently not everyone is looking for the tall broad shouldered caramel complexioned brother. As Sasha Bone would say some like them hot, some like them cold, some like them three days old. So everyone with their individual specs

Ladies and Gentlemen, what is your spec?


And while we're at it please who can give me synonyms for Spec? That word is so annoying. LOL. 


Comments

  1. i love tall dark guys,not neccessarally a broad shoulder kinda person,white lovely teeth with a lovely smile and a good first impression and maybe we could take it from there. i would b MIA for God knws how long because my two phones fell on the express while i tried crossing and them came trailer crushing both. would miss all ttb readers. would b back soon.mabel opara

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awwww, sorry abt that. Feel like sending u my phone right now. It is well.

      Delete
    2. Eiyah. Sorry about the phones.

      Delete
  2. Synomym for "spec" is "specification". Lolz

    Well,he shld be humorous. Love laughing and love making me laugh. Generous,have a good heart. A good kisser. Fun to be around. Hardworking. Good hygiene and have good taste.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now u sound like me sasha

      Delete
    2. OMG Sasha, I'm all of the above and more. Let's jes tie d knots already! Only thing is dt u'd need 2 relocate 2 Niger republic coz that's where I live ATM. RME

      Delete
  3. TIGER (lol, don't mind me). Major spec: she should be between 5ft 6" - 5ft 9".

    Btw Thelma, my friend is still on the *hold* list. Any news?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I like people with a good sense of humour, I mean it's healthy

    ReplyDelete
  5. Light skinned and chubby, never been on the *Tall dark n handsome wagon. As for height, as far as your taller than me, am good. Goliaths scare me

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hmmmmmm, My Spec.
    Must be a JW. Super Intelligent. Tall (at least 6ft). I don't care about complexion. Financially Ok. Good conversationalist!
    I'm good with the above.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmmm, Ruthy....I know just the right JW in Ph for you *runs away*

      Delete
    2. Hope dis ur current BF is a JW!!!

      Delete
  7. when i see him i will decide.bloggitup

    ReplyDelete
  8. My spec--

    1-God fearing
    2-Average beauty
    3.Some "Oyinbo" and religious knowledge

    Any other thing is a plus or can be worked on.




    *lips sealed and watching*

    ReplyDelete
  9. It is my understanding that spec refers to only *physical attributes*, No?

    ReplyDelete
  10. You olodos spec is physical attribute. Nice poem btw.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Specification wey me I kno refers 2 some1's explicit set of requirement, either phisical attributes or otherwise. But I may be wrong. Thelma plz come 2 our rescue..

      Delete
  11. Beautiful eyes.....oh my....do I love beautiful eyes...

    ReplyDelete
  12. My spec is weird. I like the skinny/slim razz "mechanic-looking" types e.g Olamide the rapper. Lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol FNLP! You guys are cracking me up here. No be small razz look o!

      Delete
  13. FNLP Olamide is not skinny o n he is not razz. I go die will do for you then, very skinny and razz. Spec does not refer to physical attributes alone, it's one's preference as a whole as it relates to the opposite sex. J

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Which is why i put slim/skinny (he aint fat e.g rick ross) Your definition of razz is certainly different from my definition of razz. Wizkid gan is razz. Lets face it, Olamide is no NaetoC or M.I., yes he is very street+razz! Still have a mad crush on him though lol whatever...

      Delete
  14. Have you guys noticed your spec doesn't exactly come your way! Just the opposit !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. so trueee, but nah, m done settling for less, gonna be stcking to my spec from now on, i think i was smokin something when i dated a potbellied dude lmaoo

      Delete
  15. another name for spec ---whats your type ? lol
    I may come across as quiet and shy sometimes.. but I'm too hyper.. gbagbati lol. so I like a guy who is on the quiet..peaceful side..( i think we would complement each other) BUT also knows how to have fun. A complete gentle man and all those goody goody stuffs (smart, has a good sense of humour etc).
    physical attributes..as long as he's 5ft7" and above is fine, not too skinny and not too fat.
    and I don't care if everyone sees the guy as an ugly man.. I'm the one licking his face not you. as long as we connect, that's all that matters...

    ReplyDelete

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