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I've Got a Question For YOU.

Paradoxically "How are you?" Is probably the most asked question in the world in all of time, yet also the question that elicits and receives the most false answers. 

Have you ever imagined how it would be if every time you ask someone that question they answer you honestly? Life would be horrific! In the (probably) million times I've asked people this question, and of course expecting the usual perfunctory "fine" response, I was once answered honestly. That day I wish I hadn't even asked. I casually asked someone "how are you" and he spent the next two hours telling me how he was. At the end I was tired, irritable and I had a headache. I wanted to say dude kilode, can't someone play with you again? Lol. I honestly didn't bargain for what I got. 

Ever since then I've asked that question with caution, but I ask, nonetheless. And when I'm asked I never answer honestly either. In fact these days I talk even less than I used to because somehow I've gradually slipped into the role of shrink/listener/counsellor, so much so that when someone asks me about me I almost don't know how to respond anymore. 

Yet this morning I woke up happy and in a few minutes that changed. One phone call suddenly led me to ask myself a ton of questions and I immediately began to feel some kind of way. 

So guys, although you haven't asked, had you asked me today "Nwando, how are you?" (Of course if you asked Thelma she'd tell you that life is perfect and things couldn't be any better) and I'm inclined to respond honestly, my answer would have been; Sad, Inadequate, Confused, Lost, Lethargic, Discontent, Uninspired, Discouraged, Limited. 

And that's honestly how I felt all day. I hope my honesty doesn't frighten you. Thankfully I've moved on from that. I can't honestly say I'm back to happy yet but I'm Ok, and I know I'll be fine

So I ask YOU this evening; HOW ARE YOU?
       And I'm hoping you'll be honest and detailed in your response. And please, I'm not expecting that everyone is sad or down in the dumps, in fact I'm really looking forward to comments from people who're feeling on top of the world at this time in their lives! I would love love love to live vicariously through those people. 

BTW I see the new readers and commenters and I haven't officially welcome you guys. You're all so so welcome, and thanks for not being silent.
      But just like that song says; 'make new friends and keep the old' I'm missing some people o!!! Please where's my baby Blink, Easah I'm not feeling the love anymore, Opara Mabel is err'thing ok? 

And yeah, Enjay the size 40 shoes which the reader gave away belong to YOU! I'll try to find a way to get them across. 


  1. Thanks for asking Thelma. I feel almost the same way you felt this morning. I'm just tired God knows I'm just tired. When will good things start happening for me.

  2. I am broken, sad, lonely, hurt, depressed, alone, hurt and angry. I feel horrible, am down, am hollow, am lost, am tearful, am crushed, am pained and bruised.
    I am bitter, am aching, and scared……………….am on the verge on a painful breakup. After four years……………….I am cold!

    1. E hugs my dear

    2. Oh wow. Anon I'm so sorry. It's the most annoying thing when someone who doesn't know your pain or feel it as you do tries to reassure you or sometimes utter seemingly flat words like "it is well". Although I don't know what it is you're going through I've felt that same way and it gladdens me to say that it passed. This too will pass, ok? Whatever it is you're going through just don't allow it to consume you my love. My number's up there if you ever want to talk about it. *Hugssssss*

  3. T baby, My asanwa! My jollof rice & ripe tomato! *all in flavour's voice* U can always count on me to be Bubbly!!!

    But truthfully, I woke up confused not sad. I'm tired of my heart. To the best of my ability I have tried to control my heart with my mind but it ain't having it. It has chosen to trail a path it paved for itself, Loving the wrong one. That confusion is leading to anxiety & migraine! I need to fall in Love with My Him!!!
    Hence, I'm currently just BLAND! That's how I am!

    I also think U'll be fine! Hell, U'll be Great!
    Congrats Enjay!
    Subomi where's my lil baby girl?

  4. Wow, my answer exactly! I'm tired was gonna be my response as well. As in, I'm TIRED!!! But I'll be fine

  5. Better I don't honestly say exactly how I feel so I don't dull u all here but am believing it's gonna get better.its just a matter of time which I wish can be soonest

    1. Eyaa, it is well. I've always wondered, are u our very own Dee 4rm WC? Holla back if u are...


    2. Amen.thanks Eesah
      No,am a different Dee

  6. I am fine....i woke up excited and happy and thou I didn't sustain that tempo throughout the whole day,but I am still happy this evening....the Lyrics of 'indescribable & I give myself away ' have just had me in a very retrospective mood.

  7. For the first time in my life I'm in love and it is sweet like sugar. I don't even think abt my other problems Thelma maybe I will write about it. I'm so excited

  8. Have been down with typhoid fever for 4 days now. Aside that I'm just generally happy. I've decided to be more prayerful and listen to more Christian music and that has strengthened my Faith, Hope, Love and Trust in GOD.

    I read through the "Injustice" post and remembered the parable of the prodigal son. There's no present or ancient culture that permits a son to take his inheritance when his parents still live, but that was the scenario here. That gesture meant that both father and son were dead to each other. It's a sacrilege. Now this *dead* son returns from GOD knows where, after burning up his entire youth, to his father and begs to be treated as a slave. But what does the father do? Treat him more than a son. Any normal human being will feel the same bitterness the elder brother had felt; after toiling all those years and never been found wanting, he hasn't any reasonable reward from his dad, "not even a goat to party with my friends". Yet there's massive celebration going on for a *dead* son? A son who had no remorse in committing an abomination? A son who considered his father dead to him? Now he's welcomed home as a Prince? It's really unfair...extremely unfair.

    But the part of this parable that WOWs me goes: "son, all I have is yours...". Yes, GOD understands our anger when we see those we perceive as undeserving of anything good having a ball in their lives. But just as the father pleaded with his older son, GOD is actually pleading with us to understand what HE's doing. HE says, "Son, Daughter, all I have is Yours, but it is fitting I recapture lost souls". It's difficult to come to terms with such things as humans, and HE knows. So we should be patient and continue being thankful.

    I wrote this just in case anyone who's feeling bitter about these "injustices" can understand what GOD is trying to do by blessing the less deserving people in our society. Remember, all HE has is Yours. Stay blessed people. I'm off to bed. :-)

    1. Great comment cum encouragement here.

      Doh. Get well soonn.

  9. I guess I could say am happy infact and great better than I have been for a while now and beginning to get a better understanding of things. I pray it continues this way.


  10. I'm bored. Perfectly bored with where I am today....but I'm fine. I'm trying to find a direction for my life. Get to the next level.
    I was surfing the net today and I found a blog. Its not the usual Nigerian blog. I decided I want to know the person more. We are in the same field work wise and its high time I find a mentor. So I choose her. Haven't gotten in touch though. I want to get closer to God but I'm findind it a little difficult. I don't even feel like praying anymore. I want everything to work out. I'm on that stage where I'm not concerned about the relationship I was keeping before. Ma nigga is so shocked. LoL. Like I care.
    I want everything to take shape. I want to make a difference before I leave this world. I want to make my mark. I want to be known for something...and I want to be a household name. I still want to live right though. Aint compromising a step of the journey. God help me.

    But I'm fine. T. asked the question. I've taken over from Kabuoy. E ma binu. I will hand over baton to you soon. Allow me reign small shey e gbo.

    T. I am perfectly fine still. My comment must not disappear o! Not like it disappeared before. I'm just warning.

    1. No ur comments won't disappear lol. Oya the race of writing long epistles is btwn u and Kabuoy now. Waiting 2 see d winner hehehe

    2. Haba Eesah, Kabuoy is the winner. No quarrels. I no dey drag.

    3. Haa! Ruby! Tori Olorun! I wie pinch you o!!! Lol!!!
      Why callest thou my name?! Doest thus as thou please! Thou art in a free world on Thelma's blog! She willeth thou to speak thy mind as thou please
      And Eesah, thou hast made thyself a refree! Kabuoy competeteth not.. she doest as she please!

      Ruby...u wie see yourself now! One more time Ruby... oooone more time!!! Lol!

  11. I've been having sleepless nights due to the new security measures put in place in my estate. The noise is making me go crazy and I've complained several times to them. I'm gradually losing my cool.
    I also feel so alone. I don't have serious friends that I can hangout with or have sleepovers (I'm in desperate need of that). I'm talking of female friend o (I'm female too). I'm 29yrs and stay in abuja. I would like anyone who would want to be friends with me to contact me on pin:2BAC56D5. Thanks a lot.

    1. Anony mouse, I'm going to reply you now. Hope we get along.

    2. I forgot to read the age part. No worries.

  12. T thanks for asking..really am fine everything is not perfect but things are better now and all I can say is God is faithful

  13. Is there anything like a silent scream? I let one out when I saw my name. Much thanks to Thelma and the giver. God bless and increase you both greatly.

    About how I am, I am all the ways Thelma was and more. And yes, recently I answered to 'Are you okay?' with 'I am tired. Emotionally tired.'

    But then, my mask is ever ready. Always on face. No one can tell, just God who sees my heart.

    In a state I never saw coming, but I trust God to do His wonders. Still expectant, my testimonies must fill my lips. It could be worse so I'm still grateful.

  14. T I still full ground oh. U Know I've got mad love 4 U and ur blog. It's just that I got a bit bizzy in d last couple of days and also Chaz B's death almost knocked me out coz he was like an elder brother 2 me. Glad dt I'm bouncing back right now as life goes on.
    As 4 how I'm doing right now, I'm jes fine. Not the best of times 4 me but I'm greatful 2 d Almighty. I really can't complain ya know.

    #Much luv 2 d TTB Family

  15. @memphis, your comment just taught me something I wouldn't forget in a long time, 'all he has is mine'. thanks. about how I am; I'm happy. everything is not fine, but I've never been happier since I was a kid and new nothing. I av so much troubles around me, but I have even more blessings. I shut my eyes to all the troubles because I know that everything works together for the good of those that love God. stay blessed guys.

  16. and get well soon Memphis. your comments are one of the reasons I read Thelma thinks. much love... iyanu

  17. I'll just stick with I'm fine, and hopefully I'll be

  18. I'm anxious, impatient... almost tired of praying cuz I know God is not dead and he listens + answers prayers. So I don't know why this is taking so long... i'm sure it's not God's fault tho. i'm bored... tired of being referred to as an orobo... it does hurt and many don't know it actually gets to me... but i'm thankful for life, good health and family. all in all.. i'm fine.. just need some things to fall into place and i'll be much better!

    1. I might not be the perfect person to answer your question but I know that when we pray, God says...
      Daughter, YES, NO or its not time for it yet. God hears. Keep trusting and believing.

    2. Thanks Ruby... *bear hug* **big smile**

  19. I am fine and I mean it!
    My challenges shld not be a causer of me being sad and broken.... Uyi,pynk360,nd my Thelma, thks thks so much for ur advice frm last wk 'injustice' post!
    Uyi kinda bit harsh tho with his/her words bt I so much apr8 dat cos I discvr dat I was reading his r'ply ova n ova n ova again...
    I'm truly fine and grateful to God!

  20. I was going to post this anonymously but...

    How am I? I can't remember the last time I answered this question honestly.
    I'm lonely. I'm not happy, I'm a little depressed, I'm disturbed, I'm afraid. I need a better relationship with God. I'm sad cos I dabbled into a lot of things I had no business dabbling into when I did. I'm afraid about the future. What does it hold for me? I'm not happy cos I think my life should be better than this by now. I'm tired physically, mentally and emotionally. I love my job but it doesn't pay as well as I want it to. My relationship isn't as great and as fabulous anymore and that just makes me so sad.

    In all these tho, I am extremely grateful for the gift life and family. I know I'm not where I want to be yet but I'm certainly that I'm not where I was yesterday. Thank

    1. If God has let it go, why won't YOU let it go... remember ye not the former things... what did u "dabble" into sef.. see as u said it as if you joined a cult abi u were doing drugs! lol... sunshine... you know the thoughts of God towards you... the thoughts of good and not of evil, to give you a hope and a future! And then again you know nah... Pastor(mrs) in the making( I know you're gonna shoot me for this but whatever mehn) lol! it's fine.. God loves you... I love you... that should do! lol... **bear hugs and kisses**

    2. Anon.. **Hugs**

      LOL.. Kabuoy.. If I catch you ehn..

      Thanks tho. I love you too. **Hugs**

  21. @thelms hun,am still with you,just been quite busy. Am happy, excited, and grateful because it's my birthday today.

    1. Happy Birthday to you, dearie! May God make all things beautiful for you. May He fill your life with great joy. Enjoy your day!

    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    3. Happy birthday!! May God bless you.

    4. Happy birthday Mabel. Live long and prosper in good health.

    5. Happy birthday hun may ur life be filled with unexpected miracles, may u always have a reason to say thank u Jesus

    6. Happy Birthday dear, wishing you all dat you ask of Life. Amen

    7. Happy birthday Mabel. Hope you had a good one?

  22. Replies
    1. Happy buffdai 2 ya. LLNP.

      BTW, Where do I send u cakes 2?


  23. I AM NOT FINE ''simply put'', i am so tired of life itself, just when i thought things were starting to okay, my examination result was released and i failed, funny thing is i have never failed an exam all through school, why must it be my finals.
    My already weak relationship with my dad crumbled (was thinking i could mend that gap by graduating). I feel unloved, worthless, lonely and i don't even have anyone to talk to. Dad has refused to pay my tuiton and house rent for the extra six months i will be staying in school. I have no one to assist and since i am boyfriendless, no help is coming form that angle.
    In all sha i stick to Jeremiah 29: 11. This too will pass

    1. Hello Haryourmeeday, you will be fine, just hold on to God's promises for you.

    2. Awww! I hate that Father/Progeny ill relationship!
      What of Mumsy? Isn't she aware of all this?
      You may have to find anyway to pay ur tuition(that one isnt negotiable) but for accomodation u might have to squat with friends dear, it just for 6months. And then prove to ur dad and urself dat you are Not Worthless!
      Trust God dat everything happens for a reason and for your ultimate Good. Be Strong

    3. *Hugs* please keep believing! This too shall pass.

  24. Happy birthday Opara, i say a very big amen to your heart desires

  25. @haryourmeday,it would pass,just hope on God and pray that God softens your dads heart and I know he would @esah plss cake biko.

    1. Happy birthday darling.all d best,all around.

    2. Happy birthday Mabel! Wish u many more great yrz ahead in good health, ve plenty fun...

  26. Am restless and filled with anxiety cos I don't know what tomorrow holds but I also believe that it can only get better.
    I feel like am merely existing and unable to tap into my God given potentials, but I know that for that to change, I need to discover AND live my purpose here on earth. Sometimes I feel that lasting joy is elusive for me, maybe cos of certain wrong choices I made. Yet am assured that I deserve and will get the very best in life if I play my part and give it all to God.
    These days am mostly bored and listless, but I know that can be cured with making new inspiring friends and getting busy.
    I can finally say am content and confident as a single and unattached woman and I increasingly find validation in myself daily. Am also gaining clarity about what matters and what doesn't and how to do away with the latter.
    Seeing as how am a lot better emotionally and mentally now than I was when this year began, I think I can answer a more than tentative 'Fine' T! To say otherwise would be to belittle my progress so far and life is really too short to dwell on setbacks.

  27. happy birthday mabel, have fun today and always be happy

  28. I'm fine, whole, Hale, Kiki and Hearty...

    But just another lesson for me...
    You wanna do something, Do it Ur Way and prepare to be proud about your actions. Whether a Negative/Positive outcome.

  29. I always answer this question sincerely most times,but the truth is some people dont really care how you feel. today i am thankful, i av channel so much energy into accepting the fact that nothing can ruin my mood except i allow it, so for every situation/challenge i choose my mood and when its overbearing i use my knees. kiki

  30. So many losses, It calls for a sober reflection.
    I Thank God for everything!
    I am fine but could be better!

  31. yesterday was my birthday, was indifferent about it till the love started pouring in, people described me in ways that made my head swell literally

  32. 60 comments wow. I wont bother answering because i know noone cares. I am fine.

    1. My crush, I care... **bear hugs**

    2. You should know I care. I actually do.

    3. awww you both are sweeeeeeeeeeet. *blushes*

  33. I am a bit unhappy cos I feel unappreciated at home..siblings and my mum. I want more money to do the neccesary and asking God how He will bring my wedding plans to manifestation, I need a new/better paying job...did i answer the question?.....I am grateful to God for every thing I have today though....friends(though not many), family and a good man......#JoyDaNuGirl

  34. How am I, you ask? I AM NUMB from a zillion emotions I can't filter.

  35. How am I? Indifferent in my marriage, angry, tired, feel cheated, anxious abt my children - their work, settling down etc.

    But happy n confident bcos I hav God that is able to see me through.

  36. I feel empty, used, stupid and sick! Devastated! But I know I will be fine, as my heart goes on another Bender, inflicted by the one I loved with all every single bit of my heart! But its ok, I will get through this. Even I cant eat or sleep, wondering what could have been, what I didnt do right and why I ignored the warning signs. I will fine.


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One More Post...


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