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Mean Girls.





Who watched the movie Mean Girls all those years ago, starring Lindsay Lohan, when she was still Lindsay Lohan? So Lindsay joined this new school and there she met The Plastics. Now, for those who don't know, 'the plastics' is a small group of spoilt rich kids, the popular ones, with the rich parents who get everything they want; designer school bags, nice cars, vacations abroad etc. Their parents give them everything besides basic home training, apparently. They're bitchy and they make their circle so tight that it's almost impossible for anyone else to join, and for those who aren't members, you must experience the burn of their cattiness. 

If they do not like you particularly, they will try all they can to make your life a living hell; gossip about you, taunt and tease you, ridicule you, publicly humiliate you, undermine your efforts and generally make you hate yourself. 

And guess what? They don't exist only in the movies. 

Of course we encountered some of those in our High schools, we even encountered them in our Universities. We take it in stride as part of life and put it down to immaturity or youthful exuberance. For the most part most of us just try to ignore them. 

But what happens when you get older and the Mean Girls are still here? Strange right?

Recently a friend of mine was telling me of how a woman who works with some multinational once broke down in tears at the office. The reason? A group of girls headed by an acquaintance of mine (who I know to be the prototype mean girl as she was one both in secondary school and Uni, but I'd have thought she would have outgrown it by now *smh*) always made her life very uncomfortable. 

Not a day passed by when they wouldn't hurdle together, taunt her and call her names to her hearing. They openly laugh(ed) everything she does, everything she wears and everything she says. The kind of situation where she's walking by and they'd all whisper while pointing at her and then suddenly burst into noisy uproarious laughter, every time. And this had been going on for long till that fateful day the woman couldn't take it anymore and burst into tears. 

I'm amazed that at our age, this is still happening. 

But the reason I'm writing this is that I witnessed this last night and it was both amusing to watch and sad to listen to. So Sasha Bone and I went to Ebeano supermarket and while she went through the clothes at the boutique, I, knowing very well that I'm making no such expenses in 2014 leaned against a railing and idly watched two ladies having an animated conversation. 

     I think what caught my attention was their figures, both over 5.10" and rather skinny. They look like models, their clothes were really pretty and they're both naturalistas. Between talking about bitchy bosses and trips from New York to LA and back to Maimi, they made it a point of duty to yab every overweight person in their line of view. Hell for all I knew they even abused me too #shrug#. It was really fascinating watching and hearing them. 

At some point though, my mouth hung open. This woman came in, tall and big boned with some extra weight. Obviously she had just come in from the gym, she wore track pants and a big T shirt. I watched her pay for her things at the till not too far from where the girls stood, and as I'd expected she soon became the subject matter of their dark satire. In clear words I heard one say "Doesn't she know that not everybody looks good in gym clothes, she thinks it's ok to come outside like this? She looks like a big fool!" and they both burst into laughter. 

Ouch! At this time Sasha had returned and I almost had to grip her to steady myself from falling. Why so mean???

It reminded me of when I was in QC, JS 3 to be precise, one of the 'mean girls' who had never before spoken to me came to talk to me one afternoon. I was both pleasantly surprised and confused because she was smiling and she appeared very friendly, until she opened her mouth; "Do you know what my friends and I call you? (Me: No). We call you Fool, because you're big like a fool". 

And then she walked away, smiling. 

Back then and right now, I never understood the motive. And everytime I think of her  what comes to my mind is "That bitch!". So much so that when I heard she lost a sister about a year or two ago all I could think of was that heartless bitch!, and for the life of me, I could feel no sympathy towards her. Yes we were kids then but that was the only time we ever spoke so that's all I remember her for. 

What a thing to be remembered for...




Are you or have you ever been a "Mean Girl"? Have you ever been a victim of their caustic bullying? What have the experiences been like?
What's the best way to cope with "Mean Girls" in the work place?



And to the mean girls out there, especially the one I talked about above who made a woman in her office cry (you're an on-again-off-again blog reader) if you read this, CHANGE. I know it makes your life more interesting to laugh at other people but put yourself in their shoes and GROW UP. 




Comments

  1. MEAN GIRLS EXIST!!! Nwando i attended QC so i know what you are talking about. THis people would want to make your life miserable for nothing. I experienced it from some girls in OBI 101, That general dorm near the Slab. They even ganged up and called me a thief at some point, Boy i was miserable while it lasted, the experience nearly shattered my self esteem. Na dem tire. Fast forward to Uni days Final year, One of them asked me for a loan to complete her Project because she saw and heard i was doing quite well...See how God vindicates one.
    MEAN GUYS also exist, I experienced this at work, Just yesterday in the lunch room this guys confessed to trying to make me miserable when i resumed but they said they noticed i never gave in and would pull the joke on them.
    Its important for us all to build self confidence, acknowledge that this things will happen, even in CHURCH> Learn to deal with it, Ignore some and MOVE ON.
    Whatever you do, dont cause another person pain.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous Rider do we know each other?

      Delete
    2. Thelma i've never met you oh, Which reminds me i dreamt about you like last week. Something big will be delivered to you soon, It will bring you so much joy!!!

      Delete
  2. I have never been a mean girl and I have never experienced their truants before,but I have onced treated their f**k up when they wanted to make a friend feel useless. To all the means gals out there, change else,hell is your place.lol

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  3. Mstchew! I remember... we used to call them "boblers" then.... I was kuku a tomboy so I didn't send them... of course it got to me but I just pretended not to care. and I always avoided getting into a fight(verbal altercation) with them cuz that one ehn! Hian! I remember Obi 101, chai... all manner of people in that dorm. SS1 Obi girls. Boblers + slackers... God help you if they pick on you! I was in danfodio (gladly).. sooo...

    In Uni, there was this group of 4girls... we (mockingly) called them "fantastic four" I couldn't stand them. I had this friend that was a jaiye jaiye girl but she was not on their "side' for whatever reason(boys, parties, and all what not). That was my only offense! if they whisper and giggle.. me sef I wie do my own. One of them was hawawu... big eyed girl. me sef I wie snicker. Make fun of her name... (cuz she was calling herself bimbo abi awa) just couldn't stand them. how would u just look down on people like you and feel u can talk to them anyhow! Mstchew! By 400 lev, I made too many friends(almost everyone in my dept) I just couldn't care less about them...

    And to you that made a grown woman cry... just continue... no problem! by the time karma catches up with you ehn... you'll know how far!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. U were in Danfodio? is Kabouyo ur real name?

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    2. Ah QC girls plenty for here o, The next house for worst bullies would probably be Emotan. Big bullies.

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    3. Small world kabuoy! Lived in the same lodge with them for two years of school. Plenty drama and fakeness really. Plus they encountered mean boys in the lodge that made it their life's work to pick on awa daily (guess that's a sort of karma).
      Anyways... never been picked on myself and never had it in me. Life is not that serious biko!

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    4. @ sasha, yes I was, no it's not! **big smile**

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    5. Really???!!!! Rotfl!!!!!! Imagine?!!!! Really small world!!!!! I didn't even know that(the karma part) Not like I care anyway!

      Wow! Buby... so there's a "tin-tin-ni" chance that you know me and I know you... hehehe... *shoki* lmao!!!

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    6. Yes o kabuoy! Though it's a very tin-tin-ni chance o cos my life was class, church and home. We still can't rule out the possibility sha.

      Delete
  4. Ahh T, u didn't talk abt mean guys and they are everywhere. An erstwhile neighbour of mine was one and won't stop being a meanie / pain in d a55 till I sent him some of my goblins 2 put him in his place. Plz no meanie is welcome in my life right now coz I so much cherish my happpiness and anythg or anyone dt would truncate it should move 2 the left.




    *lips sealed and watching*

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  5. A colleague told me something a couple of days ago.... "not everyone can be like you, don't go around thinking everyone can be like you".

    Some people actually don't have the ability to empathize and its not their fault let them. I find it hard to believe that there are still girls like this at our age, its soooooo odd, at the workplace? really? grown girls too? I mean, its okay to have an opinion but you cant just go about voicing everything out. so classless, tasteless....

    I don't think I could have survived in a school like QC, I went to Atlantic Hall and I remember at some point in JS3-SS1, I used to cry back home everyday after school because I lacked self confidence and felt so intimidated atimes, it got sooo bad that in SS1, my folks moved me to another school and I felt a bit more confident there. Even though there was low tolerance for bullying in A-hall, it was even lower in this new school where I finished from; it was a proper Christian school, you dare not bully anyone or else you'll face the wrath of the chaplain.

    I think self-confidence is key and one needs to get to that point where the opinions of others don't really matter in the sense that you don't let it control your happiness, be happy in yourself and just brush all the negativity off. The ones who bully e.g the chic who made a grown woman cry.....will surely get her comeuppance.

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  6. Lols. There are Mean girls/guys/anons on this blog. They stalk ur comments and voice out their BS. Sasha has never given a damn and prolly never wld...:)

    I remember back in QC,my bdm had this mean girl on her case. It went on for so long that when she cldnt take it,she surprised her one night. After night prep,she just cornered the chick,removed her footwear and said "enuf is enf",omo see fighting...lol. since then,the mean girl became the coward. Never mess with a Leo cos their bark and bite are both terrible...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Buhahah, If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
      Reminds me of a Prefect C****** used to wear glasses, Emotan house. She was so mean.
      Would punish for no reason and waste our prep time.
      One day as she entered the Class and said settle down for Prep. My classmates off light remove her glasses, She couldnt see o. Na so she fall inside dustbin behind the door. Dem on light give her the glasses, she take shame comot the class.
      We spent half of the next day in the sun, kneeling in gravel under Okoye baffers supervision, But the punishment was worth our freedom because after that she changed.
      Minus all this QC na good school - Pass on the TORCH!

      Delete
  7. I have never been a mean girl and no mean girl(s) dare try to be mean to me*dem never born that mean gal* my size alone won't allow for such disrexpizy. how dare they! I will singlehandedly finish all of them in that clique.
    you can say whatever behind me(make my ear sha nor tap am) I really don't care but to try bully me?naaaaaaa impossicant
    That is why I always respect myself at all times so when your village winch come push you come my lane then be ready to dance the dance of shame.*i hate bullying of any form or mean girls/boys woreva*

    feel free to correct any gbagaun u see jare i dey vex.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lols,i swear na village winsh dey push such people...

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  8. Hmm..where I grew up in warri this kind off *wealthy gangs* hardly exists. They wouldn't even dream of it. By the time you gang up and start dressing people down, others will gang up and harass your self worth till you and you're rich family relocates. Just as you have rich kids lacking home training, you also have poor kids as unruly. And...you honestly don't want to start with them. I remember one incident in my JSS 3, some rich SS2 kids were hanging out close to the Company Gate and watching some JSS 1 boys from a nearby secondary school playing in the mud. It was raining so my friends and I were taking refuge at a store with our seniors. These rich kids started making gest of these kids from another school, about how dirty they looked, about how unruly and poor their parents would probably be, about their stupidity, etc. These kids sort of started listening to their conversation in their fun, then stopped and walked up to our seniors. "As we de so, we neat pass Una useless papa...una go just de yarn opata wey we fit colobi you with our potopoto(muddy) body...talk any ha again if we no go baptize you with dis water. Orue.." Me and my friends had to stifle our laughter in order not to be the unfortunate targets of SS2 boys misplaced vexation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahhahhahhahaha. i love warri tinz. dem for lick potopoto as hot Chocolate!!

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  9. I don't know about mean boys in sec. school. I was rarely taunted by mates because I was good or average at almost everything.
    I hated to see some bigger guys bully our mates and I defended those I could.

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  10. The way to handle mean girls is to treat their fuck up! If you don't talk or do anything, they continue but once you react, they know what's up!.

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  11. The ones in the work place are worse especially if you work in big companies with snobbish children of the rich. They always form cliques and try to belittle people from less privileged families. I have seen this firsthand.

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  12. Tell you what, that mean agbaya In the office is sad.. Too sad. So the only way to make her pathetic life feel better is to try to make one unhappy. How does HR operate at her office ? Can she file a report ?

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  13. Bisoye Olorin Danfodio house so frustrated my life ehh, she will send me to slab by 12midnight or 1am ( i wee b sleeping oo but she and her crew will wake me up) to go and fetch water for her 4rm Danfodio Dorm 6 ( dat hostel close to new dormitory). Imagine a small geh of JSS1 den walking alone by dat time of the night, going through the dreded kitchen were cats used to have deir own jamboree at dat time and maybe all dem madam koi koi( hope i spelt dat right
    ). Me just used 2 spit inside the water if its drinking water, or just wee a little inside the bathing water. Dat was my own way of getting back at her. She even used to tell me 2 wash her undies den, me dat had neva washed any oda persons undies, even my elder sisters undies that were older than her. I wee just deep it inside water n bring it out. Den is it my provisions that she, Hannatu and Betty used to just go to my locker to take. Now if u see Bisoye( i tink she works wif alibaba now) she is as big as a hippopotamus ( guess all my curses accumulated in2 FAT in her body) now. I hope she has changed now sha, if not... i rest my case.

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    Replies
    1. Lmao!!! @ "my curses accumulated in2 FAT in her body"

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    2. hahahhahahhahahahahahha rodflmao

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  14. LOL @ Kabuoy. My only offense to Bisoye den was just that i was her junior. She was sooooo MEAN to me that on one of our visiting days, my sister came to visit me and after visiting day i got punished (Serious punishment ooo), just because Bisoye felt my sister is finer dan me and asked where i dropped from. I hated rats back den in school and she knew, so after the punishment of that day which was round one, round two was her bringing a dead rat almost the size of a rabbit in front of me and she held it up for close to 10mins ( to me it was 10hrs), i screamed and cried out my eyez dat day, 4 where she did not stop instead she was laughing. My saving grace dat day was just that our house Mistress Mrs Unakwe started passing and her crew informed her so she immediately stopped. As God could have it, Mrs Unakwe stayed in our hostel for a while, so after she left i guess Bisoye forgot about the whole saga, cos she did not resume her torture. For days almost running to weeks i had serious nightmare cos of that experience.
    I so detested boarding school den just because of Bisoye, dat i severally wrote countless letters to my dad to come n pick me up if he did not want me dead... It was that badt. After she had passed out i heard while she was dancing ( she likes to dance alot ), she fell on a chair and the rod from the chair passed through her skin abi the rod was stuck in her skin, hence 4 a while she was hospitalized and had to go thru major surgeries( i tink), instead of me to be sad for her, i was happy and saying her sins had caught up wif her.
    Anyways, i am grown now and i have the love of God in my heart, so i have forgiven her and let go. People pls stop being MEAN to others, cos u reli do not know how much such a singular act can destroy the person and even you the "MEANER". It really does not take much to be nice...

    ReplyDelete
  15. Best way to treat meanies is to confront them. Never been a bully, never been bullied, never fought in school... I just dey my own jeje.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Generally I'v not been in this situation but a so called friend of mine tried it once and I tidied her fuck up. Ironically I was the quiet and polite one which shocked her and every one else when I put her in her place. I don't think anyone can be mean to me and get away with it, I will confront you and teach you another level of being mean. J

    ReplyDelete
  17. Mean girls are everywhere! Unfortunately I was always too fabulous in my head for them to matter; my head was always buried in the pages of a book n if you were silly enough to try to provoke me, u realize too late how much of a mistake that was; I was the Queen of Sarcasm! Plus I learnt early in life to use my 'negatives' to my advantage so despite being quite chubby, I had serious body confidence (still do) n if you vex my badly enough it also meant I was big enough to beat you wella! (No such thing as 'if u can't beat em...' for my book then). N this applied to both guy &chic meanies (still remember beating *IK for calling my fab bum 'ike akpu' from the top of jnr block). Kai! Memories! *'lady' me hides face*

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  18. everybody started reminiscing of QC when the issue of bullies came up. it's official, my children are not going to boarding school

    ReplyDelete
  19. Bisoye Olorin was a TERRORIST in capital letters. I can testify to this.

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  20. Yes, I remember my days at command secondary school kaduna. One of the prefects just disliked me then, her Name is Nwaneka ogbanuxx. octopus house prefect, thank God I had a school mother who was a rebel then Mimi Tokixx.

    She beat the hell outta Nwaneka, I was sooo happy. Till today, I still just can't stand the girl.

    I always stood up for the oppressed. I can't be bullied o. I fear no one. If I respect u, na bcos my mama train me well.

    My nick name @ home is "commander" iron lady, boss lady.

    One thing I'd sure teach my child is to have confidence in herself and never let the opinion of others define her.

    Some seniors and ladies are mean.

    As for the lady making a grown woman cry, Verily verily Ii say unto you, ur day is coming, you will soon get ur arse wooped.

    Shebi u get job, that's why u can laugh at someone. Just wait let karma catch up with you. Then that ur swagga to turn to wagga.

    I CANT stand BULLIES

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lolzz at Wagga, that was one of the RSM's name in csskd.

      Delete
  21. Mean people just have issues with themselves and they bully others to feel better about themselves,the best way to handle them is to confront them,I for once have never been a mean girl n no1 has been mean to me..To all the mean girls n guys in d house grow up,,Karma is a Bitch u knw

    ReplyDelete
  22. Motunrayo ogbara(RIP) was a ac mean girl.. She was in my set.. She and her bestie Soliat Kosoko were so mean and used to look down on people. It's funny how they ended up.. Motunrayo commited suicide and Soliat spend 4 years in uk prison for credit card fraud and was deported afterwards.. Not saying their being mean caused their downfall but it made ple show little or no sympathy .goggle their names for this gist. It doesn't pay to be mean to ple

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  23. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  24. Yes, mean girls really exist. I am dealing with one now in my workplace (at 65 year old woman)- yep, pathetic I know. I found a great book, "Creating Hate: How It Is Done, How To Destroy It: A Practical Handbook" by Nancy Omeara http://www.authornancyomeara.com/ that has taught me how to deal better with her. It is very enlightening and useful in anyone’s life!

    ReplyDelete

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