Sometime back one if us (lemme not name you) used to be in this awesome relationship. She and boo were like two peas in a pod, they were besties, they shared everything, talked about everything, gossiped together, had great sex and were generally very close.
But were they too close? This blog reader and her boo would lock themselves inside their room and have farting competitions. Yes, you read right; farting competitions.
When you go and visit them you'll hear them say things like "mehnnnnnn, if you came here yesterday your nose for block!" Or "dang! This girl wanted to use mess to kill me yesterday" *SMH* (I literally smh @ both of you because after all the million your parents spent on your 1st degree and Masters in obodo-oyibo this is what you have to show for it. Smh. LOL).
So when I watched one of Ariyike's Vlogs last month and she talked about Relationship Etiquettes I immediately remembered this my psycho friend and her boo.
In Ariyike's video where she talked about how to act when you're with your man, she listed these:
Eat sexy. Stop shouting. Don't fart. Stop over eating. Sit right. Do not talk too much
She urged women to do all these in order to avoid 'see-finish syndrome'.
But I wonder because err, some of us have done all these. Some of us have all the etiquette but no man to show for it. Yet, some psycho chics that will hold their grounds in farting competitions, they'll take a dump that smells like hell and will tell bae to come into the toilet and "smell this epic sh*t" (LOL. I know a couple that does that), they throw every caution and etiquette to the wind and embrace their psychoness, yet they have strong loving relationships.
So what gives?
My question is this;
-Is there really anything like Relationship Etiquette? Are there certain things that can or cannot, should and should not be done in the presence of a significant other?
-What will you never do in the presence of your boo, and what things will instantly turn you off if your boo does them in your presence
-Do relationship etiquettes really strengthen a relationship. Can the absence of etiquettes in a relationship ruin the relationship???
Just to briefly answer #2; I will not and have never farted in the presence of my man, and I have always appreciated it when this courtesy is reciprocated. I know people say it's a sign of bond and closeness when you guys can fart in each other's presence but I'm not interested in that kind of closeness biko. Also please, when you need to poop SHUT THE DOOR! Why do men think it's ok to leave the door open and be having a normal conversation with you while releasing those missiles? Men, why?