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The Battle Between The Miss & The Mrs

Is it just me or is anyone else tired of this Mrs vs Miss fights?

You know what this reminds me of? Two gladiators fighting in a ring for the entertainment of the king. The king has them put into a ring and the order is that only one person comes out alive so these fighters fight with all that they have and all that's within them to kill their opponent. The king sits back in his chair, eating grapes and rubbing his palms smugly together while these fighters whom he pitted against each other try to kill each other. I've often wondered why the fighters don't realize that individually each one is powerful and jointly, much more powerful. Why don't they ever come together, join forces and face their real enemy; the king. 

Well the way I see it this ish isn't going to end. (Married) men are always going to have wandering penises, for those that want to. Single girls are always going to have need for what the married man can offer, for those that want to. And wives are always going to be aggrieved, both those that do and don't want to... 

But what do I know? 

BTW A blog reader (Rubynnia) asked a question in the 'That Moment' post Rubynnia wrote; "I'm going off key here: is it possible to preach abstinence? Is it?" 
     Rubynnia I saw your comment quite late so I didn't reply, but please if you have an opinion or thoughts on the topic please put them down and I'll have it posted. Other people's points of view would be very welcome and more interesting. Diverse opinions are much more fun than reading just mine alone all the time. Speaking of abstinence I've always said my decision is very very personal and for that and a few other reasons I wouldn't preach it for now, but I would really love to hear your thoughts. 

Anyone else with any idea/observation please mail me and we could turn your thoughts into a post and have others weigh in. 


  1. Honestly, this war between the Miss & The Mrs due to the stupidity/greed of the Mr will never end...

    I watched the movie "The other woman" last week & I laughed hard. If only women know how much power they posses "together ".
    But, it doesn't always end up with the Wife & side chick braiding each others hair because MOST side chicks no wan chop comot mouth. They want to overthrow Mrs & for the sake of hers & her kids future, the Mrs attacks the Miss. #MiloClap

    As for these men with sokujo pendulums in between their legs, continue oh! One day gravity will seize the dangling! #Spits

    1. But that is where most people get it wrong. Most side chics don't want to overthrow the mrs, we just want to chop and chop in peace. It is only the very wicked ones that go that far, the rest of us just want our piece of the national cake.

    2. ROTFLMSAO! This anon. U are among the 10% hide, chop & clean mouth. But if that Madam catch u, I sorry sorry oh *In Fela's voice*

    3. OMG! *mouth agape @ anony*
      Never knew we hv mistresses around here.
      Anony fear God o. This one dt u are having a piece of some1's hubby's national cake, another woman isn't jes gonna hv a piece of ur own hubby's national cake someday o, but take away d entire cake 4rm u and probably overthrow u 4rm Aso Rock.

    4. Eesah! "Amuni n'je Amuni! Olopa Ewo n'tepe!" Lmao!

      Anyway... anon.. you need Jesus o! find him now and repent before madam catches you and teaches you a few lessons. Some madams can be brutal o! Whether you're "having" just a little piece or a large piece of the "national cake" what a metaphor! Lol! Orisirisi!!!

      Meanwhile... i'm pro-abstinence! I shout it loud and clear to whoever cares to listen! It's is safer, it is better! Close your legs! Keep ur peepee(lol) in your briefs! Zip up!

      And thelma why don't you preach abstinence? Is it not working for you? Why do you think you shouldn't preach it for now?

    5. Please which national cake? The one another woman baked with him? Or are women now so lazy that they cant work and earn? Or go an struggle with their own man? Both the men and the side chick are wrong, but the thinking above is flawed. Very flawed.

      As for those giving marriage advice, no matter how much you try, if a man wants to stray he will. The difference btwn marriage and dating is that you now share each others burdens. That alone can kill you libido. When you husband comes home and tells you he lost n10m or n100m in a deal, you aint thinking about f**king, you are trying to figure out how to ensure your future is relatively safe as a family. So please its a totally different ball game. Any man that tells an outsider his wife whom he willingly married is no good and he still lives under the same roof as her is a bigger idiot and more of a no good. You cant admit to harboring foolishness and not be the bigger fool.

      Lets stop the marriage advice crap and single women justifying sleeping with a man they know is clearly married

  2. Dat ish so crazy mehn,single girls shud try to leave married men alone,d annoyin part is most married men dnt tke care of dia families yet deyspoil dis sidechicks sily

  3. I don't mind another woman sharing my hubby as long as he don't follow her go.

    1. Anon as they say "na clap them dey take enter dance". If you care about him leaving you for her then you should care about sharing. Not saying caring will stop him but... Wifeys abeg o! I am not giving advise, I know I am not qualified (before your bodies begin to 'pepper' you. LOL). This is just what I think.

    2. Anony hope ur not the one using my boos fone to browse ttb. Thelma you remember I reported someone to you sometime ago.

    3. You say that until he leaves your children's school fees unpaid because he sent his concubine to Paris for the weekend.

  4. Talking abt preaching abstenence, I don't mince words whn it comes 2 that coz that's one of the things I live 4. The body is d Lord's temple and therefore shouldn't be tampered with.

    Sex leads to soul ties and hence, complicates things if done with multiple pple or randomly.. God dat reserved sex for marriage knows why he did that. It's meant to bond a MAN and His WIFE...not BF and GF or a man and his mistresses.. lets not think God has reduced his standards along with Hollywood and with the lifestyle of celebrities like Kim K showing u dt it's normal 2 expose ur body how u wanna and hv sex with whoever u want 2.There is no religion in d world (correct me if I'm wrong) that doesn't forbids extra marital sex jes 2 show u how wrong it is.
    Sex ought to be offered by a woman only to the man who was bold and matured enough to love her and make her his wife after marriage. But unfortunately many pple find this very offensive and difficult in today's world. (God help us).
    And let nobody come and use KONJI as an excuse here coz there is no such thing as konji for real people with self control. If konji takes a hold of you and the only option is sex with an HIV infected person, won't the konji disappear? Besides it's humans dt controls konji and not the other way round.

    And NO, I won't preach condom coz dt will make someone somewhere, think dt abstenance isn't achievable! One of d lil things dt d Lord asks 4rm us is 2 respect our bodies, how hard is dt????

    *lips sealed and watching*

    1. Easier said than done.

    2. @Anony u think so? But the Lord makes it easy 4 those who makes it easy 4 themselves (with his help), same way he made it easy 4 Kabuoy, Rubynnia and a lot of pple that u see everyday. So d decision lies witcha

    3. @ Eesah, i agree with anon, it is easier said than done or you think Paul didnt know what he was saying when he said "But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry for it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (1st Cor 7:9). Dont get it twisted though you'd be shocked that for some human beings, its Konji that controls them and not the other way round.

      I strongly believe in abstinence. it saves everyone a whole lot of drama. But again, not everyone has that level of self control and Paul clearly recognised this.

    4. No one said it is easy... but it is not impossible! it is achievable... with God, self discipline, God and God again.

      STDs, unwanted pregnancy that leads to abortion... Even if you are able to avoid those ones, soul-ties nko? Those covenants you form with the numerous(or few) people you've slept with nko? How do you begin to pray and dissociate yourself from them? Those that have lost count, where do you start from?
      How do you know the kind of person you're sleeping with.. how do u protect yourself from people that seem like human beings but are not... (trust me they do exist and they roam about) do you pray before you commit fornication that God should protect you? terrible cases of men and women that have slept with people like this and their lives never remained the same.
      Yes, God would have mercy.. what about the "things' you've lost.. when you think about all the "wahala" you'll be avoiding... my dear anon.. "easier said and done" wouldn't even cross your mind. I didn't even know Eesah was gonna mention soul tie. I was trying not to go there.. but he did.(God bless you Eesah)

      It is hard, especially if you've been having sex before... but it is possible.
      Don't let konji lead you to a place that'll take you years to recover from(or never)... your life, destiny and future is more important than any kind of konji.. no matter how strong it is... it'll come and go... **big smile**

      Thelma abeg no vex... today is sunday. I wie noh sermonize tomorrow! Lol!

      Happy Sunday everyone!

    5. Yeah Paul knew wht he was saying whn he said that and d only solution he gave was marriage and not sleeping around with every Emeka, Sule and Yinka. So anybody dt falls in dt category shld go and marry! Kabuoy omo gidi niye. Aada fuwe

    6. Beautiful comment Easah.


    7. Oh so Eesah now you agree that some human beings on the face of this Earth have no self control right? at least you agree and you understand that.

  5. Marriage is a different world. A hard life. You see a couple and you want the man because he looks fantastic. You have no idea how much effort goes into maintaining marriage to Mr Fantastic. It looks easy from the outside. Until you get in and realize it's a different world. The Nigerian man knows the Mrs won't leave. He's in a win-win situation. The wife will always be there. Or will accept him back happily. That's why he will humiliate her by his indiscretions. The woman who wants my husband is welcome to him. But she can't return him once she realizes how difficult he is. Give all the advice you want, when your own happens, you'll realise you know nothing. Then you begin to wonder how some people managed to remain married for 20 years or more. Because you're just not sure if you have that level of patience. This is a different type of patience that only exists within marriage. And only married people (especially women) will understand this. Marry first, your eye will open eh.

    1. Thanks anon 10:08. Well said. Clare

    2. I concur, when ppl say dating and marriage is different they r absolutely right. U do need a diff level of patience and EVERYTHING even if u r married to the most amazing man that ever liveth. No matter what u just don't understand it when u r single. It's the side chick I feel sorry for. Because the married too was once single and the single one day will be married. No condition is permanent.

    3. Tolu Lol @ no condition is permanent. As for the Nigerian men that think nigerian women cant leave, that really needs to change, its a very big step to having better men around. Not like i threaten my hubby but he knows am not afraid of leaving and will leave if the need arises however i always make sure i am not found wanting in any way. Marriage is not and will never be a do or die affair, Being married is not the price, Being Happy IS. That is my humble opinion tho.

  6. Tired of the battle between Miss and Mrs. In my own opinion, i still dont get why married women go after the single girls, why not redirect all that energy towards your philandering hubbies...a man cant be "snatched" if he doesnt want to be. its common sense. so it really irks me when i hear stuff like ''husband snatcher'' etc Like Ifunanya said, marriage isn't do or die, walk out if you are tired and cant deal anymore.

  7. @ Ifunaya, indeed times have changed, women no long have the do or die in marriage mentality.

    A neighbor who is married to a very nice guy just left her marriage of 6 years, she and hubby have 2 lovely 'oyinbo" like kids. Turns out that the man has been sleeping with the 12 years old house help all this while.

    Until she found out the poor girl was pregnant. Apparently, Mr. Fantastic had threatened the girl that if she tells anyone, especially madam, he would stop paying her fees and kill her, and no one wld knw.

    The woman was so devastated and packed out with her kids. Honestly it will be very hard for even a woman like me to stay married to a man like that.

    It's one thing to cheat on ur wife, but cheating on her with a child is highly damaging. I can't even trust our own child to such a man.

    Yes women do walk away these days, especially if she has a means of livelihood. C.E. O

    1. The guy in question is sick and should be checked for mental inbalance.

    2. I lived with emotional abuse for 7 years. He never imagined I could leave, I didn't know I would ever have the courage to leave, but I did. I have since moved on, he has refused to remarry though.......wetin consain me?

  8. I have nothing else to add. Eesah and Kabuoy have done justice to that. Yeah, it isn't easy to abstain from sex but very possible. Atleast I don't have to worry about: STI/STD, ungodly soul ties (over important to me), unplanned/unprepared pregnancy and lastly not being in a guy's list of smashed vaginas. Happy Sunday y'all.

    1. LMBO @ smashed veejayjays. Ooooshe awon nyomi. Rubynnia and Kabuoy be repping team abstenance since 1800. U go ladies!

    2. If you like have sex or abstain from it. Abstinence does not make your relationship or marriage better, does not stop you from being a nasty person, does not increase your bank account and does not make you a better person. It just means you had sex after decide not too. And last I checked you don’t get an award for that.

      Abstinence is not an anti-divorce seal and science has proven that Abstinence does absolutely nothing. but last I checked a virgin can still stab you in the back and slap your head off.

      If you want have sex do with the right person and protect yourself rather put yourself in a box.

    3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    4. Dear anon 7:41PM,

      I concur with all you have said but my stand still remains that abstinence saves one from a whole lot of aches.

      Some of us are just principled and not easily carried away by the happenings around us.

      At the end of my years on this Earth, I have an account to give to my maker and I want to try as much as possible by his grace and power to present a worthy account.

      I'm not trying to be all holy or that; like I said, some of us are just PRINCIPLED.

    5. @anony keep trying 2 console yourself that there are no benefits 4 abstenance you hear. Do u think dt d high rate of broken homes/marriages dt we hv right now didn't stem 4rm somewhere? If u think dt there are no earthly and heavenly reward 4 obeying God's commandments, then u must be joking. Is it d prevention of unwanted pregnancies/abortions and STI's? how many of the advantages do I want 2 list?

      FYI, lots of studies and research has proven dt Sex before marriage is more likely to result in promiscuity in marriage and divorce. Studies hv also indicated that single women who have sex and/or children outside of marriage are more likely to get divorced. This doesn't mean dt they aren't few women out there that married as virgins and are having issues with dr marriages, but it is what it is.

      BTW u've already given urself away by saying "if u want 2 hv sex, do it with d right person and protect urself". So no need 2 dey disturb ma self.

    6. I totally disagree with your statement when you say "Do u think dt d high rate of broken homes/marriages dt we hv right now didn't stem 4rm somewhere?". This suggests that such high rate is linked to non-abstinence. Which study shows that single women who have sex/children outside marriage are more likely to get divorced? please kindly send me the link when you find it.

      Don't get it twisted, I believe in abstinence and I will preach it from now till kingdom come BUT lets get this straight, abstinence does not a good marriage make!!! YES there are still virgins that have the most terrible marriages SO lets not mislead women into thinking that because they've ''kept'' themselves and remained abstinent, then their marriages would automatically work or be a walk in the park!.

      Again, abstinence does not a good marriage make!

  9. @ruby are you a virgin?am just curious but you don't have to answer if you don't want to.

    1. Lol; maybe yes, maybe no. Come to think of it, there are different kinds of virgins: Primary, Secondary & Tertiary virgins.

  10. Hy everyone in the auz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Thelma, i love ya work here!

    Nice been here!

    1. Thanks Godfirst, you're very welcome to TTB.

    2. Thou art highly welcome to TTB.

    3. You should before concerned with being a better person. You can abstain from sex and still not make the heaven you going on about. Does your life reflect what you believe in. Like I said earlier, if it works for you fine but no be say u go abstain and at the end your other lifestyle still no jel with God. At the end na you lose o. U follow God, follow am fully and do good.

  11. Thelma, pls help post this. Why do a lot of Men - Husbands run away frm their responsibilities - house-keep allowance, dodge school fees, house rents n some other bills. Yet they feel comfortable, they go on as if all is ok. They still hav d guts to ask the woman - their wife for conjugal obligations. I don't understand o. Is anyone feeling this pain?

  12. Thanks Easeh, Kabuoy and Ruby.If you do not stand for something, you will fall for anything. can do it!

  13. Laugh Out Loud!!! I actually think she is seeking for attention. Nothing more. This whole single vs married thing has been over flogged and i am beyond bored of this topic.

  14. characters. So anon u think it is kk to sleep with married pips. The issue is not what happens here on earth to u...............

  15. Am neither pro or anti abstinence. Do whatever makes you happy. Shikena


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