So some nights ago I listened to Sharing Life Issues and the topic was single women of the age of 29 and above living alone, and how society/men perceive them. The general consensus was that any woman who lives on her own at that age, especially if her parents live in the same state is usually seen as wayward, indecent and loose. Men will therefore shy away from marrying her.
I thought this was a huge joke till I listened to some of the callers. One man, an Igbo man, called in and said it is completely unacceptable for a woman of that age to live alone; it is indecent and men will run away from marrying such a woman. When the presenter asked him what he would do if his daughter wanted to live alone at that age, his response was; "God forbid that my daughter will still be single at 29 or 30 years. But if it should happen, hmmm, then she will still stay at home with us. I can never allow her to live alone, it is not done". Wow!
Another caller expressed similar sentiments when the presenter asked once again what he would do if his daughter finds herself in those shoes. He said it is completely irresponsible for a single woman to live alone. The presenter then asked; what if her workplace is very far from home, if for instance she works in (Ajah) while her parents live in (Berger), then would she be allowed to get a place closer to work? The caller responded saying that if that's the case then she would have to quit the job.
I was also surprised to hear a few female callers express some disapproval at a single lady staying on her own.
I honestly thought that the days when people frowned at young single women living alone were extinct. Thankfully a few men called and said that a woman living alone would not affect their decisions to take her to the altar. Above, I deliberately stated that the caller is Igbo because what I could get from a lot of the calls was that this is taboo particularly to Igbo men.
I didn't bother making a post out of this until a blog reader mailed me this morning saying that she got a job offer in Lagos but she's very reluctant to make the move because of what people might say about someone of her age living alone. She says she would like to settle down soon and wouldn't want anything to ruin her chances.
Hmmm. I'm speechless, I really don't know what to say. I know it was a bit of a battle before my sister was allowed to move out of the home several years ago, but if I remember correctly my dad didn't mind much, it was my mum who pushed against it (although I think her hesitation had more to do with empty nest syndrome), and I always made it clear to my parents that I don't intend to live with them past a certain age. My initial plan was to relocate to PH or Abuja so I can be alone and they don't mind at all. Basically my parents are among the few that don't have a problem with this so maybe that's why it's a bit hard for me to relate.
Please guys, what is so wrong with a single lady of a certain age living alone? And why are they thought to be loose and uncouth? Answers anyone?
Men, will you hesitate to marry a lady who lives on her own?