Skip to main content

The She That Could NOT.

On Saturday I was driving along Lekki Expressway with my friend when a red and black Bugatti zoomed pass us. I'd already seen the car from way behind through my inner mirror so before it got to us I told my friend "flag that car down, flag that car down" and when my friend turned and saw the car she immediately told me to increase my speed and overtake him, I should make sure I get his number. 

Then I asked my friend, why must it be a HIM?

Some months back on a lazy weekend evening I spent with two of my bestos, G insisted that we had to see a house she saw the previous night when she went for a run. So jobless girls that we are we got into the car and drove to the street. We got there, turned off the engine, sat and stared. We were in awe of the size, magnitude and sheer opulence. We all sat in silence, each with her own thought, till someone voiced hers out; I wonder which man owns this house...

Of course any opportunity for a healthy argument between them and I cannot be missed so I asked why it must it be a HIM? And the argument ensued. Popular consensus was that it was definitely, most definitely owned by a man. Unfortunately they didn't say why. 

Last week I went to buy groceries from Ebeano supermarket and as I was walking in someone in an LR3 slowed down and waved me over, it turned out to be an old classmate whom I'd not seen since we left school. We chatted for a few seconds because I was actually on a phone call with someone, who also happens to be another former classmate. So I told her;
Me: guess who that was I just saw
Her: who?
Me: *Busola Samuel
Her: really? How did she see you, was she walking in too?
Me: nope, driving. 
Her: oh ok... What car? 
Me. An LR3 
Her: Wow. Was she with her husband?
Me: nope. She was alone. I don't think she's married, she wasn't wearing a ring (I checked. *covers face)
Her: Hia. If she's driving an LR3 then she's married, she probably just doesn't wear her ring all the time...

I guess by now you know where I'm going with this. Why is it that when we see an evidence of luxury, wealth and good-living we immediately think a man is behind it. 

When you see a lady living lavishly then she must either be a 'runs' girl, dating or married to a rich guy or screwing her way to the top, and who she's screwing? Men of course. 

So here's me asking why we see things this way;
Could it because our brains are just wired to think that there's a limit to how much a woman can do for herself?
Is it that women make/earn much less money than men and therefore cannot afford a certain lifestyle on their own?
Are women just not big spenders?

And if it's none of these then what in your opinion is the reason that at the sighting of something really big, expensive and advanced one immediately thinks a man must either be inside or behind it?

Let's talk. 

photo source;


  1. Well I guess it's because in this part of the world men are more successful dn women..d ratio is lyk 80:20 so

    1. Pls what is moringa and where do I gerit pls

  2. It's the Society that we live in that have wired our brains this way.
    In Africa/Nigeria women don't get the same roles/privileges as their male counterparts even if they are more qualified ESP at a particular age (20 - 35). Gender inequality!
    Only 10% of women make it strictly on merit.
    For a woman to have a lot of Money like this post suggests, U are either into runs, sleeping ur way up to the top in ur business or workplace, connected to the big shots, living off Daddy's or hubby's cash!
    Let's call a spade a spade!

    1. Ruthy you've said it all, nothing more to add.

    2. Lols. And was the driver of the bugatti a he or a she??
      Anyhoo,let's be real. 1 in every 30-50 women "In Nigeria" are independent and opulent spenders but I think that's gonna change soon...

    3. Yes Oh Sasha. E go change soon, I hope all the girls I know are included. But me I no want biko, just small money is perfect for me.

      Memphis, I don start the moringa this morning oh. I don poo my intestine finish, my brain is next. HELP!
      Plus today is day 2 my 30 day Squat challenge. I'm in lil tiny pieces!!!

    4. What are you doing with moringa? Is your belle *rounding*? LMAO. Ruthy abeg o, quit the moringa. It ain't for the slim n sexy. :D

    5. Na who tell u say I be slim & sexy? Biko I'm trying to have a flat tummy & lose 10kg.

    6. Pls nau what is moringa and where can I gerit pls.

    7. Yesso, it's really beginning 2 change in d sense dt if a guy and a babe are working in an organization right now with d same level of qualification, the babe is most likely 2 be paid better.

    8. Queen you can get it in the Market, or some supermarkets, ask all these women in the market that sell local spices

  3. That's just the way it is, and its not gonna change soon, Its a default mindset. And it doesn't only happen with money and wealth, it also happens with bad if you come back home and realize that a burglar been through your stuff, you immediately go "I wonder what HE took" and that anonymous person that's always posting sugar daddy shii, I'm always like "ama strangle dis DUDE if I see him"

    1. This is soo soo true! It is both ways...Good and Bad!

  4. What a man can do,a woman can do better...Thelma there is diz babe in I.b city here,she deals in clothes oh,she imports from jand,she is building this massive hotel in my area and the next thing people are saying is that the babe carries cocaine to Yankee whenever she goes to buy clothes....I just laugh at the small minded people...that naughty house wife

    1. @TNHW how many years has she been doing d clothing biz? Building a massive hotel outta okrikas probably? Plz I'd like 2 comment with d default mind set of an average nigerian by saying - there might be more 2 it.....

    2. Eesah,she sells lace and ankara...all kinda laces oh....that naughty house wife

    3. @Easah when you know the kind of money those Balogun market lace dealers take home everyday then you would understand why the lady in question can afford to build not just 1 hotel, but 2 massive hotels in I.B (where property is cheaper than in Lagos). Don't get it twisted o, some of those balogun women are High Networth Individuals just ask any banker.

  5. Definitely the way our brains have been wired in this part of the world

  6. Ruth and memphis what is moringa naaaaa?

    1. Shoooo...Na only u Waka come?? Use google na..

  7. Ruthy and Memphis, where can I buy moringa?

  8. Its real sad to see how little faith we women have in ourselves.i have been on the receiving end of such commentary. I have been seated in a room and have heard people who didnt know me first hand speak about how i did runs etc. Meanwhile i worked for one of the biggest civilian war contractors in the middle east for 5 years. One of my husbands friends even tried to tell him not to date me, that i was into run etc and how did i afford the things i had. I cried, because people trivialised my hardwork and suffering. I showed my husband who was then my bf my my annual tax returns for the US etc. He had seen my basic lifestyle and that i was able to invest 80% of my earnings. I even showed him my stock market losses etc so he could get a better picture.

    I think people just sometimes dont want to admitt that others can do well-especially young women by themselves. A lot of our mothers generation also who are in the public eye were made by men, so the stereo type continues to haunt women.

    1. Im with you on this pink.Ill say that it totally depends on societal mindset.
      For instance I have close friends that are single and you do not want to know the kind of cars they drive(luxury cars oh not moi-moi cars). Anytime we drop for lunch/gatherings etc and drive ourselves we always get "that look" so I have learnt not to judge.

      I can vouch for these girls because not only are they very well-educated, they are constantly seeking to have a competitive edge, these are pretty girls with very good jobs,very practical and also very grounded. Its a pity that all their handwork gets rubbished by mindsets like this.

      I have to admit however that the mix of all these things could be responsible for society’s notions towards them otherwise how do you explain that these hardworking wife materials (with the eldest in the crew at just 35) don’t even get date offers from men her age? for instance, Linda Ikeji and everyone telling her not to buy a RR otherwise she no go marry , hian!

      Of course its our society and the kind of women we celebrate that gives that kind of mindset, how many times have you picked up thisday magazine and seen real hardworking women being celebrated however the celebration of mediocrity is the order of the day( women of questionable characters) and so everyone thinks that it is not possible to be a truly successful woman without the hep of a man SMH.


  9. I give up on this topic. its a lost cause as far as one is in Nigeria. The truth is bitter and the truth is ugly and the ugly truth is that yesss majority of the single girls you see that are sooo well-to-do (not mummy or daddys money) are into runs or HAVE BEEN into runs at some point in time and this is why the average Nigerian guy would assume such. I see it happen everyday. you cant blame them, there's a lot of ugly crap out there. And guys really feel intimidated. Sometimes I have actually had to lie to some guys (depends on the guy) that I don't have a car and I have my reasons for doing so. Sad truth is a whole lot of good good genuine guys out there are intimidated by successful girls and this is because they are just genuinely scared and worried because of all the "runs girl" stories that we hear everyday.

    So yes if it means holding off buying a Range and settling for a small corolla just so I don't give off certain vibes then so be it. Besides, I can channel that money elsewhere, e.g investments because whether you like it or not, even the good guys will feel intimidated because of the kind of society we are in. Get to know the real him and when y'all eventually get married, you can then reveal all. Its simple. After that whole bank phone call incident (which I talked about in one of T's posts) where one of the FEMALE customer reps was trying to "question" my a/c balance, I have learned my lesson so I'd just rather lay low because this is Nigeria. So if anyone asks, I'm just a struggling employee earning 30k a month. lol

    In other news, Memphis and Ruthy, I googled moringa oo and it told me that it was a tree. lol.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…


Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Closed Chapter...

Hello everyone, yesterday a friend said to me, Thelma I love your blog, I've told so many people about your blog, I think you're a very good writer but I feel there's something you're not doing right"

This friend was the first person who won our beauty of the day contest back then in 2014. Then we had met just once through a mutual friend. I mentioned the blog to her and she became an instant reader. I wouldn't have exactly called her a friend then but yesterday as we sat down waiting for our Uber to come get us from Wal-Mart, she's definitely my friend and I knew she was coming from a good place when she said she had much higher expectations of my blog.

Me too.

But you see, in the last year or so, maybe even longer than that, I haven't felt much joy in blogging. It began to feel more and more of a laborious chore, one which I hardly reaped any fruits from.

I really love writing, I love sharing my life and my experiences with others and I've enjoy…

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa