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The She That Could NOT.





On Saturday I was driving along Lekki Expressway with my friend when a red and black Bugatti zoomed pass us. I'd already seen the car from way behind through my inner mirror so before it got to us I told my friend "flag that car down, flag that car down" and when my friend turned and saw the car she immediately told me to increase my speed and overtake him, I should make sure I get his number. 


Then I asked my friend, why must it be a HIM?

Some months back on a lazy weekend evening I spent with two of my bestos, G insisted that we had to see a house she saw the previous night when she went for a run. So jobless girls that we are we got into the car and drove to the street. We got there, turned off the engine, sat and stared. We were in awe of the size, magnitude and sheer opulence. We all sat in silence, each with her own thought, till someone voiced hers out; I wonder which man owns this house...

Of course any opportunity for a healthy argument between them and I cannot be missed so I asked why it must it be a HIM? And the argument ensued. Popular consensus was that it was definitely, most definitely owned by a man. Unfortunately they didn't say why. 

Last week I went to buy groceries from Ebeano supermarket and as I was walking in someone in an LR3 slowed down and waved me over, it turned out to be an old classmate whom I'd not seen since we left school. We chatted for a few seconds because I was actually on a phone call with someone, who also happens to be another former classmate. So I told her;
Me: guess who that was I just saw
Her: who?
Me: *Busola Samuel
Her: really? How did she see you, was she walking in too?
Me: nope, driving. 
Her: oh ok... What car? 
Me. An LR3 
Her: Wow. Was she with her husband?
Me: nope. She was alone. I don't think she's married, she wasn't wearing a ring (I checked. *covers face)
Her: Hia. If she's driving an LR3 then she's married, she probably just doesn't wear her ring all the time...


I guess by now you know where I'm going with this. Why is it that when we see an evidence of luxury, wealth and good-living we immediately think a man is behind it. 

When you see a lady living lavishly then she must either be a 'runs' girl, dating or married to a rich guy or screwing her way to the top, and who she's screwing? Men of course. 

So here's me asking why we see things this way;
Could it because our brains are just wired to think that there's a limit to how much a woman can do for herself?
Is it that women make/earn much less money than men and therefore cannot afford a certain lifestyle on their own?
Are women just not big spenders?

And if it's none of these then what in your opinion is the reason that at the sighting of something really big, expensive and advanced one immediately thinks a man must either be inside or behind it?

Let's talk. 



photo source; www.angelfire.com



Comments

  1. Well I guess it's because in this part of the world men are more successful dn women..d ratio is lyk 80:20 so

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pls what is moringa and where do I gerit pls

      Delete
  2. It's the Society that we live in that have wired our brains this way.
    In Africa/Nigeria women don't get the same roles/privileges as their male counterparts even if they are more qualified ESP at a particular age (20 - 35). Gender inequality!
    Only 10% of women make it strictly on merit.
    For a woman to have a lot of Money like this post suggests, U are either into runs, sleeping ur way up to the top in ur business or workplace, connected to the big shots, living off Daddy's or hubby's cash!
    Let's call a spade a spade!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ruthy you've said it all, nothing more to add.

      Delete
    2. Lols. And was the driver of the bugatti a he or a she??
      Anyhoo,let's be real. 1 in every 30-50 women "In Nigeria" are independent and opulent spenders but I think that's gonna change soon...

      Delete
    3. Yes Oh Sasha. E go change soon, I hope all the girls I know are included. But me I no want biko, just small money is perfect for me.

      Memphis, I don start the moringa this morning oh. I don poo my intestine finish, my brain is next. HELP!
      Plus today is day 2 my 30 day Squat challenge. I'm in lil tiny pieces!!!

      Delete
    4. What are you doing with moringa? Is your belle *rounding*? LMAO. Ruthy abeg o, quit the moringa. It ain't for the slim n sexy. :D

      Delete
    5. Na who tell u say I be slim & sexy? Biko I'm trying to have a flat tummy & lose 10kg.

      Delete
    6. Pls nau what is moringa and where can I gerit pls.

      Delete
    7. Yesso, it's really beginning 2 change in d sense dt if a guy and a babe are working in an organization right now with d same level of qualification, the babe is most likely 2 be paid better.

      Delete
    8. Queen you can get it in the Market, or some supermarkets, ask all these women in the market that sell local spices

      Delete
  3. That's just the way it is, and its not gonna change soon, Its a default mindset. And it doesn't only happen with money and wealth, it also happens with bad stuff..like if you come back home and realize that a burglar been through your stuff, you immediately go "I wonder what HE took" and that anonymous person that's always posting sugar daddy shii, I'm always like "ama strangle dis DUDE if I see him"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is soo soo true! It is both ways...Good and Bad!

      Delete
  4. What a man can do,a woman can do better...Thelma there is diz babe in I.b city here,she deals in clothes oh,she imports from jand,she is building this massive hotel in my area and the next thing people are saying is that the babe carries cocaine to Yankee whenever she goes to buy clothes....I just laugh at the small minded people...that naughty house wife

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @TNHW how many years has she been doing d clothing biz? Building a massive hotel outta okrikas probably? Plz I'd like 2 comment with d default mind set of an average nigerian by saying - there might be more 2 it.....

      Delete
    2. Eesah,she sells lace and ankara...all kinda laces oh....that naughty house wife

      Delete
    3. @Easah when you know the kind of money those Balogun market lace dealers take home everyday then you would understand why the lady in question can afford to build not just 1 hotel, but 2 massive hotels in I.B (where property is cheaper than in Lagos). Don't get it twisted o, some of those balogun women are High Networth Individuals just ask any banker.

      Delete
  5. Definitely the way our brains have been wired in this part of the world

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ruth and memphis what is moringa naaaaa?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shoooo...Na only u Waka come?? Use google na..

      Delete
  7. Ruthy and Memphis, where can I buy moringa?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Its real sad to see how little faith we women have in ourselves.i have been on the receiving end of such commentary. I have been seated in a room and have heard people who didnt know me first hand speak about how i did runs etc. Meanwhile i worked for one of the biggest civilian war contractors in the middle east for 5 years. One of my husbands friends even tried to tell him not to date me, that i was into run etc and how did i afford the things i had. I cried, because people trivialised my hardwork and suffering. I showed my husband who was then my bf my my annual tax returns for the US etc. He had seen my basic lifestyle and that i was able to invest 80% of my earnings. I even showed him my stock market losses etc so he could get a better picture.

    I think people just sometimes dont want to admitt that others can do well-especially young women by themselves. A lot of our mothers generation also who are in the public eye were made by men, so the stereo type continues to haunt women.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Im with you on this pink.Ill say that it totally depends on societal mindset.
      For instance I have close friends that are single and you do not want to know the kind of cars they drive(luxury cars oh not moi-moi cars). Anytime we drop for lunch/gatherings etc and drive ourselves we always get "that look" so I have learnt not to judge.

      I can vouch for these girls because not only are they very well-educated, they are constantly seeking to have a competitive edge, these are pretty girls with very good jobs,very practical and also very grounded. Its a pity that all their handwork gets rubbished by mindsets like this.

      I have to admit however that the mix of all these things could be responsible for society’s notions towards them otherwise how do you explain that these hardworking wife materials (with the eldest in the crew at just 35) don’t even get date offers from men her age? for instance, Linda Ikeji and everyone telling her not to buy a RR otherwise she no go marry , hian!

      Of course its our society and the kind of women we celebrate that gives that kind of mindset, how many times have you picked up thisday magazine and seen real hardworking women being celebrated however the celebration of mediocrity is the order of the day( women of questionable characters) and so everyone thinks that it is not possible to be a truly successful woman without the hep of a man SMH.

      HSF

      Delete
  9. I give up on this topic. its a lost cause as far as one is in Nigeria. The truth is bitter and the truth is ugly and the ugly truth is that yesss majority of the single girls you see that are sooo well-to-do (not mummy or daddys money) are into runs or HAVE BEEN into runs at some point in time and this is why the average Nigerian guy would assume such. I see it happen everyday. you cant blame them, there's a lot of ugly crap out there. And guys really feel intimidated. Sometimes I have actually had to lie to some guys (depends on the guy) that I don't have a car and I have my reasons for doing so. Sad truth is a whole lot of good good genuine guys out there are intimidated by successful girls and this is because they are just genuinely scared and worried because of all the "runs girl" stories that we hear everyday.

    So yes if it means holding off buying a Range and settling for a small corolla just so I don't give off certain vibes then so be it. Besides, I can channel that money elsewhere, e.g investments because whether you like it or not, even the good guys will feel intimidated because of the kind of society we are in. Get to know the real him and when y'all eventually get married, you can then reveal all. Its simple. After that whole bank phone call incident (which I talked about in one of T's posts) where one of the FEMALE customer reps was trying to "question" my a/c balance, I have learned my lesson so I'd just rather lay low because this is Nigeria. So if anyone asks, I'm just a struggling employee earning 30k a month. lol

    In other news, Memphis and Ruthy, I googled moringa oo and it told me that it was a tree. lol.

    ReplyDelete

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