Skip to main content

The Words We Swallow... (*Changing Mouth* Syndrome)

‘Feminist until you get married

Activist until you get rich
Atheist until the airplane starts falling’.

So I got the quote from Peculiar Okafor's Changing Mouth post on Bella Naija and this campaign poster took my mind right back to it. 

That's not to say that I agree with Obanikoro or his strategy but that's completely besides the point of this post. 

Isn't it funny how we judge, criticize and wrinkle our noses at some things people do but then we find ourselves in that situation and it's suddenly ok for us to do that same thing?

My former colleague used to go on and on about how she could never live on the Island, the Island is for fake people, the Island is a scam, the Island is trash, people who live on the Island are just deceiving themselves, all the men on the Island live above their means and 'borrow pose' to impress, even if you give her a million dollars she'll rather get a nice place in Magodo or Ikeja than live on the Island bla bla bla same story every day. Then one day she's fortunate to seal a deal and made some bucks and the first thing she did was to rent a room on the Island. Issorai!

Likewise my friend who always expressed disgust at married women who have extramarital affairs but found herself in a loveless marriage and is presently having a steamy affair with a broda outside

Or my formerly feminist friend who couldn't cook or clean, said she wasn't going to learn because a woman's place isn't in the kitchen or on the ground sweeping floors and she believed in equal rights, but a week after the wedding she made YouTube cooking tutorials her best friend and is now the poster-girl for Stepford Wives. 

Some politicians actually went into office with the best intentions but ended up stealing even more than their predecessors whose wrongs they came to right. Situations and circumstances sometimes change people.

In my late teens I looked at sexually active young adults engaging in premarital sex and said God forbid, I will never open my legs for a man who is not my husband! Well hello adulthood, love, infatuation and hormones... We all know the rest. LOL. 

I guess my bottom line is this, are you going to criticize someone? First ensure that you've stood in the exact spot they're standing and you walked in a different direction than the one they're walking in. Otherwise keep your criticism and judgement to yourself. 

What are your thoughts on "Changing Mouth"? Are there things that you're certain you would never do, regardless of the situation? Have you ever changed mouth; done something you swore you wouldn't do, then levels/circumstances changed and you found yourself doing them? Do you know someone who has?

Do share!


  1. In any situation u find yourself in life,NEVER SAY NEVER!

    1. Gbam! I tell you I never say NEVER. It is just funny that that very thing you said 'never' to is what you find yourself doing the next minute. Just pray for grace, kapish.

  2. I have learnt to just never say never, and just watch how situations will unfold.
    I used to hate the whole natural hair thing or "craze' some months ago, I would always go out of my way to tell anyone who cared that I would never be caught on this natural hair thingie,that I loved my hair the way it was and nothing was going to make me go natural, for what naaa... But see me now, it's this same ME who now has the natural hair on for some time now, I'm sure when those friends of mine see me they would just shake their heads for me.. Loool

  3. Well, I keep saying this one:
    I will NEVER stop being a JW.

    Everything else I "may" be capable of & YES, I have done changing mouth well well... it's called growing up I think. LOL
    But that doesn't mean RIGHT won't continue to be RIGHT...

    1. I will vex one day and convert you :D

      *Never say NEVER*

    2. Memphis ur liver no reach! LOL
      I've been a JW for 10yrs now. Na me convert all 6 of my family members!
      That's one Never I can lay my life for!!

  4. This post reminds me of Peter who said he'll never deny Christ, but he did 3 different times. A lot of things I'll never do, but never say never, so by God's grace, I'll never denounce Jesus even in the face of death

  5. As we grow up, experience and life tend to make us realise that so many things aren't the way we viewed them overtime I've learnt to never say never.
    But regardless of the situation, I will never change my religion.

  6. very well said all, I was amongst the "I must marry as a virgin" crew chastising those that had boyfriends in high school, fast forward to college hmmmm no words Sha but Im thankful for Gods mercy in my life.Not only did I not marry a virgin, I was pregnant when I got married now I dey form spirroooo up and down. I always try not to judge anyone again, cause i literally did everything I said never to.sigh

  7. I think the saying never say never is used by people with no principles.

    1. I would say yes 2 some degree, but the phrase is open 2 re-interpretation

  8. "If U are going to criticize someone, first ensure that you've stood in the exact spot they're standing and you walked in a different direction than the one they're walking in" WORD!

    I for one isn't d type that goes back on my words and I don't criticize untill I've actually found my self in dt position and walked in a different direction, or sometimes had better offers than thiers and still did d opposite. This is very easy 2 achieve once U R principled, God conscious and U always keep your words.
    Overtime, I've realized that all d things I said I wouldn't do since I was a kid, hv not been alterned in anyway. From never going to change my religion and belief, to engaging in things I blv are immoral among others. It's jes abt self discipline and following God's lead which is very achievable since the Lord I serve burdens not a person with more than he can bear.

    *lips sealed and watching*

  9. never will I smoke weed but I decided to give it a try after my final exam and it was awful.
    never will i sleep with a fat man...haha, y'all know the rest. great lover too. My huge teddy bear lol

  10. I said I'd never marry a man with a kid... here I am now.

  11. I mean we r humans we fall,more Grace from God is what we should pray for and try not to b judgemental at all times

  12. As much as am open to life, there are still somethings I say never to.

  13. I'll never stop believing in the gospel of Jesus Christ or marry from another religion. I'll never sleep with an animal... Plenty things I can confidently say I'll never do. Still plenty I can't say never to.

  14. I try to put myself in people's shoes before criticizing. That you aren't doing it doesn't make it wrong. That you are doing it doesn't make it right. I have said Never on a couple of issues and I ate my words #lol# so just be open minded n judge less. Live and let live.

  15. I said i'd never have anything to do with a younger guy, not even a year younger,well........hello Cougar!


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…


Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Closed Chapter...

Hello everyone, yesterday a friend said to me, Thelma I love your blog, I've told so many people about your blog, I think you're a very good writer but I feel there's something you're not doing right"

This friend was the first person who won our beauty of the day contest back then in 2014. Then we had met just once through a mutual friend. I mentioned the blog to her and she became an instant reader. I wouldn't have exactly called her a friend then but yesterday as we sat down waiting for our Uber to come get us from Wal-Mart, she's definitely my friend and I knew she was coming from a good place when she said she had much higher expectations of my blog.

Me too.

But you see, in the last year or so, maybe even longer than that, I haven't felt much joy in blogging. It began to feel more and more of a laborious chore, one which I hardly reaped any fruits from.

I really love writing, I love sharing my life and my experiences with others and I've enjoy…

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa