It’s amazing how the tides turn, how time changes all, how nothing stays the same. I sit and I think of the conversation we just had, of your words, of the passion in your voice and the longing it couldn’t disguise and I marvel at the power of time and sayings like ‘every dog has his day’. In my heart I don’t mean to hurt you; the fact that we are still friends means the world to me, and yet you give your world to me and I’ll refuse it. I know many people who know us can’t and won’t understand how I feel about you; I Love You but I’m not In Love with you.
I met you at a time that most have forgotten, I was too young and you were the reason for many asigh, many a smile, and many a broken heart. The first time we made love I was still too young but not too young to know I wanted a lifetime. The years passed, your star rose and I was the person that you would call only when others can’t be gotten. Yet each time you called, my heart would skip and all is forgotten; of how in public we barely speak, of how I’m seen only in the dark, of how I’m never spoken of cos those who matter never knew. And then a few months passes by, I call and never hear you voice. I walk out of the students’ hall and see you leave with one with whom whose worth can’t even see my lights. Remember when your friend had his issues and warned you against treating gold like tissues. Remember the day I told you beware, one day you’ll love and won’t be loved.
It’s amazing how the tides turn, how time changes all, how nothing stays the same. I remember when I had enough; I took stock and took back my life. I was officially tired of things like having the cake I baked for your birthday myself go bad on my table four days after. Or making plans alone cos you had travelled, to see you cruising out in town, another bimbo on your arm. I took stock, I moved on without a glance; without so much as “Hi...Goodbye”. We never spoke for quite a while till even you realized I had moved on. The next time I bothered to ask, you were dying; and that was cause enough to reach out.
You made it through and in the dark, I was there to hold your hand. And life and time, like school had taught you to value the people who had loved you; for in that darkness there was none of your hangers-on to lead and guide you. Yet the same passage that brought you to light had shown me what I could not take. Cos now you want me and I feel like all that’s left are the dregs of what was the best of you; the best years that you had to give, you chose to give to those who leave and if I stay I’ll just be left with what they wouldn’t care to keep and the me that I’ve become today wouldn’t settle for nothing less than best.
It’s amazing how the tides turn, how time changes all, how nothing stays the same. Today I picked the phone and heard the words I used to dream of hearing you say. I heard the passion, I heard the longing which I had heard before, but which was never meant for me. But funny was the way I felt at feeling which would have once made my world; a feeling that was qite akin to hearing that my dog was dead. For though I’ll never want to hurt you, I Love You but I’m not In Love with You.