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Today's 'Toaster'. Naughty or Nice?

I told you guys I went to the FRSC office at Ikeja this morning. What I left out was that I went en route Surulere to pick my dad up. I left this out because... he was more or less 'escorting' me and yes, I know I'm an agbaya, but seeing as I should have gone for the capturing long ago he was worried that I might get stopped on the road, so he offered to drive to Ikeja. 

On getting there we met the usual frenzied crowd but I proceeded immediately. A few hours later after the capturing was done and we were waiting to be given our temporary licenses I found myself sitting beside my dad. He sat on my left and to my right was this young lady (about my age) who was also waiting for her license. At some point two men came to join her (one is her husband and the other is his friend) and they all got into an animated conversation about one thing or the other, while my dad and I were having our own tête à tête. At some point the lady left with her hubby and the other man was left sitting beside me. 

I'm not sure who struck the conversation but suddenly I was chatting to this guy. It was just the casual stuff; why the license was taking so long, where he got his done etc. But then he started getting a bit too personal and I started getting squirmish knowing that my father was just beside me and was hearing every word. He asked if that was my dad and why he came with me, I muttered an incoherent reply. He then proceeded to introduce himself then asked personal questions about me and I tried to be as casual and vague as possible. Thankfully the officer with the licenses came and I got up to leave. The young man called out to me and said "I'd really like to get to know you, perhaps I can get your number before you leave?" This he says right in front of my father. I nod vaguely and rush to join the license queue. 

I got my license, my dad was nearby so we immediately made to leave the environment and headed for the car. I didn't see the guy when I was leaving and I was quite glad about that. When we got into the car, just before my dad put the car in reverse I heard a knock on my window. Yes, it was none other than the young man, panting and gasping for breath as he must have run to meet up with me. On seeing him I cringed again, I didn't even want to look at my father's face.

He says "I was looking everywhere for you". Then he turns to my dad; "Daddy please I just need to talk to her, I need to get her number", Hia! Daddy kwa? My father, calm as always; "That's ok". Me; "My number is... Daddy, oya let's go". The young man; "Errr, please wait let me call it.. Ok it's ringing. Ok I will call you later. Please dear promise you'll pick up when I call please, I really like you". At this point I wanted to cross my leg over to the driver's side and press down hard on the throttle. 

I got home and he called, my dad asks "Is it that chap?", my mum goes "which chap?" And then we relay the story to her. My mum's friend thinks the young man was disrespectful to have done all that 'toasting' in my father's presence. My mum's tailor who was present at the time thinks it was charming and a sign of genuine intention to have been so open in front of my father. 

A debate ensued and I'm not even sure what to think, all I know is that I felt very weird. 

So guys, was that Disrespectful/Naughty or Charming/Nice? Gentlemen, would you have done all that in the presence of the father of a lady you're trying to chat up? Ladies how will you feel if a guy you just met did all this in your father's presence, and more importantly; what would your father's reaction be?

Photo source;


  1. I cnt help but laugh oh Thelma....nice I'd say...but I no fit give reasons oh....yay...I got a blog id now....that naughty house wife

    1. Yay! Congrats! I'm joining you in the laughter.

    2. Yaaaay! Awwwwww...

  2. I think it was absolutely charming.
    I actually like guys like that and your dad must have kept his cool because he thought the guy was serious minded.

  3. Hmmm. Maybe it's nice but my own father would have none of that, as in just one look and the man will run away.

    1. Buhahahahaha, sounds like my dada right thurr

  4. I think it is charming. Not so many guys, knowing that's ur father, would continue that conversation. I guess he MAY truly have a genuine interest in you. I'm sure, Thelma, u don't have a problem having your options wide open. So let's see how dis pans out. Goodluck dear

  5. Thelma Thelma. Lol

    Well, daddy's presence prevented you from flirting abit, that's why it seems to you that the guy's guts may have been misplaced. At least he acknowledged your dad's presence.

  6. The guy is brave. He wasnt disrespectful in my opinion. Not at all. Lets know how it goes.

  7. I think most Nigerians still shy away from involving parents in our shenanigans. I'd say it was charming.

  8. I'm not even sure what I think about the guy. On one hand he sounds really cool. My first thought was, if he can do all that knowing that ur dad can punch him in the face for talking to you in his presence then he must really like you. On the other hand, he could have come across as disrespectful especially when you consider the flippant way he told ur pops he wanted to get ur number. Or, he could have thought you look old enough to not need your dad's permission to give your number to a guy.

    Now the questions...

    I would feel like entering the floor if a guy did that in front of my dad. I have collected serious beating just for talking to a guy "around" where my dad was. Note that it wasn't in front of him o, it was just around where he was. Back then I was in my final year in the university. It's still feels weird to hear my dad ask me about the "brother". He's been asking my mum who my bf is, I told her I am 101% sure that he cannot come and ask me himself. I still don't get how they tell us we can't talk to guys and expect us to magically produce the husband after school.

    As for my dad, he'll be very calm about it, he might even shake the young man sef and ask his name but you will get a solid lecture on your way home (now). The lecture will literally last from Ikeja to Ajah... A couple of years ago tho, he would be very calm too, be very very quiet on the way and then sit you down when you get home and tell you how when he was young he didn't have the temerity to take any of his girlfriends home and you had the audacity to strike up a conversation with a guy to the extent that he felt it was okay to chase you for your number. After this lecture, you will come and jejely chop your plenty cane.

    1. Chai u must be kabuoy's sister ?

    2. Perfect example of most nigerian dads...

      At age 19 - I don't want 2 see you with any guy or else, hell will break loose.

      At age 25 - who is the man in your life?

      At age 32 - TB Joshua is holding a 2 weeks diliverance crusade this month. We've got 2 be there!

    3. Eesah has finished me with laughter this fine morning. Which one is TB Joshua? Rotfl. . But then again, you're right except for the TB Joshua part, my dad can't stand the guy. Mfm is more like it. Let's just pray it doesn't get to

      @Phransea... maybe, maybe not :)

  9. I go for nice. It's not like there was any guarantee he'd see you again after today so he had to take the chance. Nothing disrespectful about that to me, seeing how he had enough 'sense' to run it by your dad first.

  10. Lol. I like his confidence.
    I have been in same position as this a few years ago. I really felt uncomfortable. 1st is my dad being there, 2nd is 'calm as always' can hardly be used to describe my dad. My dad sensed the vibe and asked 'you want to be in contact with her? Tell him your Facebook name'.
    *facepalm* like that isn't worse!!

    1. Hahahahahahahahaahahahaaaa!!!! Facebook name ke?! Ha! Your dad is cool o! Hehe...

    2. Cccc that's cute. My dad won't say a word but will go home and gist my mom everything and they will both laugh at me.

  11. Chei T, see sweet gist wey u been no wan tell us.
    Please permit me to ROTF&LMSAO!!!
    Anyhooway, the guy was all of the above!

    My own Dad will slap him for just sitting next to me. #GuardianOfTheGalaxyThings

    T, pick his call oh! He might just be DFH.

  12. hahahahaa! I laugh o! I can see "that's brave" and lots of "charming" issokay! Well.. maybe sha! I mean you're 29, you're a big girl! Sooo, it's not out of place or inappropriate for a man to "chike" you(if he is not being disrespectful while at it)... but baba kabuoy is one "strange" man! The way he interprets things ehn! You sef wie shock! Whether you're 25 or 30! Uhmnn... I can just hear him say.. "kabuoy, in my presence, you were discussing with a man and exchanging numbers with "audacious impunity". No REGARD whatsoever for your father.(anything I do, is because I have no regard.. I don't fear him) you encouraged and emboldened him so much so that he walked up to the car and in my presence asked for your number! Do u know I never took any woman to my father until I wanted to marry your mother?! How dare you flirt(whether you flirted or not) with a guy in my presence..." you don't want to know the part 2 o! lmao!!!!

    Anyway, my dad won't be amused or think it charming! But then again he just might. Depends on how well you can pray for God to touch his heart and let him see it as harmless as it really is. Lol! If not! Hian! You wie hear and see it o! Lol!

    Your parents are cool tho! Lol! They where even deliberating! Issokay!
    Anyway if my parents switched places, and my mum was my dad... I won't think it disrespectful at all... i'll think it "charming" and "brave" too...
    Anyway... thelma let's see where this would lead to... what if you eventually marry the guy(i'm not trying to jinx it o) the love story wud be ehn!!! hehehehe... **excited much** Oya, i'm calm now. So let's just wait and see.
    Meanwhile, you should see 'When love happens'... when I saw the movie.... I thought of you! lol! Weird shey? Okay! **shutting up**

    1. Oh wow. Baba Kabuoy should soften a bit now that he's still not that old because when he gets really old he will need the affection and attention of his children, because of his 'behaviour' in the past the children may not feel so inclined to be there for him especially as they may then have their own families.

      It's what my friend's dad is experiencing now. He was just like baba Kabuoy when he was younger. Now an old man, he is trying to become everyone's friend and make them fond/loving towards him but 'that ship has sailed'.

      I just heard about When Love Happens two days ago but I don't think it's still showing at the movies. I heard it's really nice.

    2. Word @ Thelma. Same thing my dad is going tru. Whn we were young, he wasn't affectionate. Now dt we are adults and paying our mom more attention, he is begging 4 our attention. But u've gotta give affection 2 receive it in most cases. If u don't give, u don't get. It's not easy since he didn't lay d foundation, but we are trying...

    3. Thelma... you couldn't be more right!
      I'm not married yet o and he has started feeling left out. Lol... we're so close to our mom, we tell her any and everything! like everything. She "calls' us at least twice a day for different reasons.. we talk a lot. Notice I said she calls! But my dad... he calls maybe once in 2 weeks... or more. and then he expects us to call him like we "call" our mom. Lol

      He told my mom he's afraid that when we get married(especially me) cuz my sister is nicer than I am, we'll probably forget "them". Me I was like Nooo.. the them should have been "him" lol!(just kidding... I won't) So yeah... it's already happening sha... it takes making a conscious effort to keep in touch with him... but with my mum, it just flows! Very easy! Lol... (Iya kabuoy don't let your head swell too much o cuz I know u will read this) lol!

    4. Treasure what you have. I only wish I grew up with my father and saw him age, not taken from this world in his prime.

  13. Some years back I wouldn't even have been able to talk to a guy with my dad beside me, would have been answering in monosyllabus and my dad's face would have been stony cold, maybe he would have even said something to the guy very sternly. Now, it would be interesting to see my dad's reaction. I would still be very uncomfortable though.

    I think the guy is brave

  14. Some years back I wouldn't even have been able to talk to a guy with my dad beside me, would have been answering in monosyllabus and my dad's face would have been stony cold, maybe he would have even said something to the guy very sternly. Now, it would be interesting to see my dad's reaction. I would still be very uncomfortable though.

    I think the guy is brave

  15. The guy is charmingly cute jare +1000 for his bravery. Please give the dude audience when he calls haaaan see oyinbo things thats how they toast ni.

  16. I think it's extremely romantic, give it a chance T.

  17. Thelms that guy must be digging u o. 4 me to make a pass @ a lady in d presence of her dad, I must be really really atracted 2 her. And not all guys are brave enough 2 try that! The way he went abt it wasn't disrespectful IMO knowing that, that's d first and last chance he might ever hav with u if he doesn't get ur number. But that doesn't mean that he can't be a player, coz that's d 9th rule in d pimpa players book. A player woking with dt rule can woo u in d presence of ur friends, parents and family members without giving a damn!
    U could ask Memphis 2 tell u more abt d rule *smilles*

    1. *whistling "I'm a Learner" by Osadebe*

    2. Dakun! Are you serious?!!! Lmaooo! Players book ke? 9th rule?! Hahahahahaahahaaa!!! Mo gbe! The somthn is not a small somthn o!

    3. Ahaahahahahahaha! T personally I think u re lucky to have built dis blog friends honestly. Some1 just exposed the 9th rule mehn and dats so true ooo! Gbadokwa anya cos dis rule I outta dis world! Errbody z alredy like "he is brave, he is dis dat" 4getting d bad ass rule

  18. Cool and very brave of him and your dad is equally cool.
    some years back, my father nearly removed my eyes,teeth and tongue for hanging out in the BQ with some friends of my male cousin. "how dare you play with his friends alone in the room,have you started your menses?NO! so you want to get pregnant even before you start your menses ehn?*towai towai!! see flogging*.he flogged me so hard I became Jesus Christ for some hours cos I died and resurrected.
    Fast forward to this present day,"your friends are hanging out,won't you also hang out and meet people? cos you haven't introduced any body to me as your boyfriend talk more of fiancee". Abeg o,daddy leave me,i nor wan chop cane don't lead me on.

    1. Hahahahahahahahahahaaa!!!! @ "Abeg o,daddy leave me,i nor wan chop cane don't lead me on"

      Sounds exactly like what Sunshine would say to her dad too.

      I never chop beating for boy before being that am a very good and obedient child... unlike you and sunshine!!! lmaoooo!!! *runs away*

    2. I actually LOLed... i couldn't help it. Biko, who gets pregnant before starting menses... Plus your kind Jesus ehn.. I throway salute.

      @kabuoy, Good girls are bad girls who haven't been caught **in your face**

      **flips weave and strolls away**

    3. Oh dear! Nigerian parents sha...

  19. I daresay the guy was brave. What would my dada have done? Hmmmm...sized him up on my behalf definitely and if he believes the guy passes muster on the 'physicals', he would have excused us and even offered to take a cab home so guy can arrange quick dates, enjoy a lengthy conversation...whatever else follows.

  20. I think it was ok...and you definitely dont usually like the good ones at first...its usually the case. All the best Thelma...#JoyDaNuGirl

  21. Na this kind tory dey sweet to tell during toast for wedding. I like d guy's bravery biko. And daddy wouldn't frown at the toasting moves cos he knows Thelma is a big baby. All the best T.

  22. Na this kind tory dey sweet to tell during toast for wedding. I like d guy's bravery biko. And daddy wouldn't frown at the toasting moves cos he knows Thelma is a big baby. All the best T.

  23. It all depends on a lot of things. He could be genuine for real, or a badass, or even both sef; a genuine badass! It's all about the tone. As long as he wasnt rude. Lmfao! Besides as we get older our folks change like everything in life changes! N the change can be hilarious n it's all about the ones who make the memories. I remember going to spend d day with my then boo from d hostel (I was in 1st yr) n my dad drove by n saw us hugging goodbye at 7 or 8pm. Obara Emma! He pulled over n sent me home n waited till d next day to address d matter! I was pulled back to go to school from home for abt a yr, I def wasn't getting money n he kept giving me dirty looks for months! Fast forward to 4 yrs later, I walk into the house with d intention of picking a couple of things n "going back to school" in time for my hot date, n there was my ex (who definitely had the bad ass rule mastered) sitting with daddy boy m n discussing God knows what over stout n cognac! N he had told daddy boy he came to pick me so we can go for a party! Kai! See this kain oyibo speaking cowhead! U not only came n sat down with mpa m, u even drank alcohol?! I was convinced that was d end of me n that I would be dead by 11.45 (he told my dad we would b back ard 11.30!) I come home and all I got was "how was the party?" Would have thought it impossible that anyone would ever go clubbing from my parents' house 10yrs ago, now I lock up after my 10yrs younger siblings n their friends!

  24. loll funny stories...Thelma the answer is easy. if he was cute then yeh its charming but if he was ugg then hell no that's just darn right disrespectful. me I would have been sooooo embarrassed regardless, I cant even imagine it...chai. but the love story would be sooooooooooo sweet if you end up with this dude....*sigh*

    1. FNLP!!! It's not fair J

    2. My crush ooo!!! Lmaoooo!!! That's so unfair! Ahn ahn!!!! Hahahahahahaaa!
      Discrimination at its peak! You want to be sued abi?! Lol!

    3. My crush ooo!!! Lmaoooo!!! That's so unfair! Ahn ahn!!!! Hahahahahahaaa!
      Discrimination at its peak! You want to be sued abi?! Lol!

    4. loll just saying it as it is boo.....I think I'd be a bit more pissed if he wasn't too goodlooking...

  25. I kinda like him for u already T, that's really charming, brave of him & respectful to evn ask from ur dad.thou his I really like u already sou ds 1 kind,makes me think he's a smooth operator.Give him a chance when he calls o & gist us with time as.e dey go *wink *

  26. It's a player's move, plain and simple!

  27. I don laff die. The world has spoilt sha! If u were younger I would have said he was being disrespectful. But my dear ya not a baby na. I can't wait to hear how this "friendship unfolds.

  28. Very entertaining story and comments, when I saw the number of comments, I just took a cool bath, prepared a big bowl of pap and sat down to watch abi read cinema.

    Nothing to add. I like the guys guts biko. Clare


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