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A Letter To The Other Woman.





Good morning guys! I've seen letters from the other woman, letters to the other woman, letters to the new wife, letters to the Ex wife, but this one is the first of it's kind. 


To My Daughter’s Stepmom,

I never wanted you here. 
You simply were never part of the plan. Growing up and dreaming of my family I never included you. I didn’t want help from another woman to raise my child. The plan was for my family to include me, daddy and our children, not you. 
I doubt you ever wanted me in your life. I doubt you planned to mother a child that you didn’t give birth to.
I can bet that your plan for your family included you, daddy and your children together, not me or my daughter.
I can almost bet that when you dreamed of becoming a mother it would be the day you gave birth and not the day you married your husband.
I’m pretty sure you never planned on me being here. 
But God has plans that far exceed our own and when my little family dissolved to form two families I knew you would be coming.
In my mind you would be a terrible beast and my daughter would not want you to mother her at all, ever! 
I was hoping that you would be semi unattractive and prayed my daughter wouldn’t look up to you.
Her daddy would know that he was settling for second best.
Evil swirled in me because I never wanted to face the fact that another woman would mother my child in my absence.
Then you arrived.

When I first met you I’ll admit you weren’t what I had in mind and a twinge of jealousy shot through my body.
You were supposed to be hideous, remember?
But you weren’t, you were stunningly beautiful. You were supposed to be a mean old hag, remember?
But you weren’t, you were a young, sweet woman.
My plans were foiled. 
I realized by the look on your face that meeting me was just as hard as it was for me to meet you.
My heart immediately softened. Dang your kind smile!
I was planing on really hating you. Why are your ruining my plan?!

 I wanted to resent you but you made it impossible and I quickly grew thankful for you.
You’ve accepted our daughter from the very start and have unconditionally loved both her and her daddy, that’s a true gift to all of us.
You’ve included our daughter in everything you do and make her feel loved and accepted.
You put her relationship with her daddy above yours and only a brave and courageous woman knows how to do that with such grace. 
I knew when her daddy and I decided to divorce and live in separate homes there would be times when she would need me, her mommy, and I wouldn’t be there.
I’m so thankful that you are there in my absence.
I’m grateful that you have mercy on her teen years and never reject her. She needs a mommy at your house and you’ve done an amazing job being that for her. 
You’ve respected my position as mom from the very start. I appreciate that you always check with me when you question if you are making the right decision with her. I know our situation is rare. 
It’s not often that a mom and stepmom text each other to remind each other that they love and respect each other. You are a gift.

Because of you and your courage to mother our daughter the way that you do, she will be a better woman. She will grow up with more love than I could have ever imagined.
It wasn’t her choice to have divorced parents and even though I wouldn’t wish that on any child I am so thankful that she now has 4 parents who love and respect her and each other. She’s compassionate because of it and understands that a failure in one area can turn into a blessing in another. 
I don’t see you as a fill in for when I’m not there. You are her mother when she’s with you and when she’s with me.
She’s excited to call you and tell you her stories when she’s at my house and that makes my heart want to jump from my chest with joy.
I fill with pride when you wrap your arms around me and squeeze for a genuine and loving hug each time we see each other. 
I am extremely aware of what it looks like when a mother cannot emotionally accept her child's stepmother in their life.
Gratefulness pours heavily from me that we are able to rise above anything like that and do what is truly right for our daughter. 
Thank you for being mature enough and respectful enough to co-parent with me.
I promise to always respect your input for our daughter.
I promise to never lessen the position you hold in her life or make you feel like you are not her mother. I promise to raise her to be grateful to have two strong and brave women in her life that have the courage to mother her together. 
Even though our situation is peaceful I pray that she is never in it, but if she ever finds herself here I promise to set an example for her of what co-parenting should look like. 
Precious woman, you are a rare and beautiful gem.
God bless you and I love you.

The writer's daughter with her new stepmum. 

***

Source: www.womenwithworth.com


Can you imagine yourself being so accepting of the new woman in the life of your former significant other?

Comments

  1. Sweet letter...i can b very accepting,so far the other woman isn't a bitch why not

    ReplyDelete
  2. It is easy for the woman cos she is also married, if she was alone and still single, she ll def hate the other woman.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My thoughts exactly!

      Delete
    2. Na so naah!. And personally I don't think it's right for the man to take custody of the child since the mother is still alive.
      It's rare..maybe in exceptional cases sha.

      Delete
  3. I doubt a Nigerian woman can be this accepting. I only read and watch about this in novels and movies. I can't imagine myself really loving my daughter's step mom o. Because of kini? I pray I don't find myself in this kinda situation tho.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Who has custody of the kid(s) in a divorce in Nig society? Why wld the man's family insist on taking the kids from the mother (when she isn't dead) just cos the marriage is over?
    Well,sometimes the other woman isn't always the enemy. Nice letter btw...

    ReplyDelete
  5. It takes a very very matured mind to actually feel this way and put it to writing. It's also due to the feedbacks she's been getting from her daughter.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I will totally be this writer if the Other woman is half as awesome as the step mom in this letter irrespective of who has the kids. Me or My ex husband. Regardless of my marital status. Married or single.

    Just imagine how beautiful the world will be if We All genuinely Love & accept each other!!!
    HML to both women!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh This is a post for women! Sorry...I'm out *shuts door quietly*

    ReplyDelete
  8. See, this life is all about who we chose to be in every situation!

    ReplyDelete

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