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Admit It. You're Jealous Of Dabota Lawson.

Some days ago during a conversation with someone, we, for reasons beyond my comprehension presently, began to talk about Dabota Lawson and a number of other young women. This isn't particularly the kind of gist that interests me but what I found very interesting was my partner, Sandra's take on things. Among the category of people we talked about Dabota was her subject matter, maybe because her marriage to the said billionaire Sunny Aku, is the most recent. 

Let it be known that neither *Sandra nor I know any of these people personally, Sandra doesn't have any access to any "inner caucus" gist about her life, so when she said "Please I'd rather be dirt poor than live her life. I can swear she's miserable" I was dumbfounded. 

We argued back and forth. Can she really swear that she's happy to be married to a man her father's age? Sex nko? What do they even talk about, they have nothing in common... Life isn't all about money, it's..."

Aha! There you have it. I'm bored shitless with that "money can't buy you happiness" talk. Honestly!

So I asked Sandra; are you telling me poor people are happy? Are you telling me that the amount of wealth someone has is indirectly proportional to their happiness? Are you telling me that marrying a poor man will guarantee your peace of mind? Are you suggesting that women married to poor or average men don't get cheated on, abused or neglected? NO? No, right? So what then are you telling me? Absolutely nothing. Look let me tell you; the rich cry, the poor also cry. I would rather be rich and cry than be poor and cry, lemme know which struggles I'm dealing with biko. 

Ok, I waited for Sandra's comeback. She had none. 

Last night after an ice cream date with one of my girls, I found I couldn't sleep and I began to raid Instagram when I stumbled upon Dabota Lawson's IG page. 

Admit it, you'll love to live a life of luxury, class, opulence, affluence, wealth, comfort, complete access, splendor, designer clothes, refinement, five star hotels, world travel in private jets and first class cabins, ... A life of financial security, free from the worries of the common man, abundance and the capacity/ability to cater for your less privileged loved ones. 

So to (Sandra), I'm not asking you not to work hard and aspire to greatness, I'm not telling you that you cannot be a billionaire or multi-millionaire in your own right, I'm not asking you to go in search of a wealthy older man to cater to your needs... All I'm asking is that you admit you're (just a little weeny teeny bit) jealous of Dabota Lawson and the likes that you spent a great deal of time condemning the other day. 

I know I am...


  1. Thelma don't mind Sandra, people like that will be daydreaming and fantasizing about that life but they will come out and pretend. Nonsense. Please me am looking for my own sunny Aku, danjuma and Okoya all in one.

  2. I wouldn't rather be poor. However it is not one extreme or another. I married a man 14 months younger than me from a relatively affluent family. He is extremely well mannered and can afford to fly me economy, premium economy or even business class money permitting. I wouldn't trade the relatability that we have, to be stuck with an older man to whom I have to explain who DMX was, or why thunder cats was awesome and my own life's goals. In addition many of these older men aren't old money, so behaviour is another thing. Sunny Aka despite all the wealth might be the type to say give me "just alive". Different things matter to different people, you just pick what matters to you.
    For me it's not money per say- similar upbringing - also married a mixed race person since cut rally I was neither here nor there. And I wanted someone who understood that money is a tool to be used and that it comes and goes. The biggest thing for me was work ethic in a partner, which my husband embodies to the T.

  3. I don't think Thelma meant it is one extreme or d otha. Based on the context of this post I will never ever choose to be poor even if the man is 101 years old. But I think Dabota is really happy, she strikes me as someone that married a wealthy man for love, not someone that married a wealthy man for money eg Caroline ekanem danjuma

  4. As long as Dabota isn't the "the other woman",I don't see anything wrong with her choices.
    Mehn,the chick is balling in her husband's money yet people are still hating? With a successful husband like Aku,she cld learn to run her hubby's empire someday.
    As long as the couple is happy,who am I to condemn?
    Ps: I'm yet to hear his gist like we hear of Caroline's hubby on Instagram. So far,hes pretty decent and even if he isnt,its none of my biz...

  5. babes and money!!!! kai.....its true that most girls will loooove to be in Dabota's shoes but not all. yes we ladies love comfort but there is more to marriage than luxury (though it plays an important role).
    jealous? nah, personally i'll rather go with someone my own age and generation, with lots in common who has a steady source of income and is hardworking (since we would be able to afford the basic necessities of life) than a life of luxury with agadi nwoke.
    what will they be talking about? will she enjoy sex with him? how about his previous family members? why didnt she even settle for his son?
    anyway, she has her reasons that we dont know about. i wish her the best.

    - A Bili

  6. She made her choice abeg. Somebody said a mean about her on another blog, that she married her ancestor. I think haters should take a chill pill biko. She,s married him, and if she says she's happy, good for her.
    Jealous of her? Never. Respect her choice? Yes! Bicos it's her CHOICE......y'all should free her.

  7. She is living her life.....none of ma business!

  8. She married the man, whether or not she's happy is none of my business.

    I wouldn't want to marry a man my father's age tho. I need someone that i can relate to who's interested in the same things I'm interested in

    1. How about somebody older but interested in a variety of things including those you have to learn from him??
      Just wondering what the fuss about age is, why define where you expect to find happiness? What happened to true living as long as you are not living in sin?

      Just curious though, I am also learning. And by the way, I can beat you and kabuoy in the shoki dance!

    2. Lmao! You'd definitely beat me cos i know nothing about it but I'm not sure about Kabuoy tho..

      I would like to marry someone who's older than me, maybe by 5, 7 or even 10 years. That way he's old enough to sell me on some things from the 80s but also young enough to know backstreet boys, Dbanj, that old Limca advert I can't seem to forget and a host of other little things.

      I just dont want a old man :(

    3. Funny enough, not everyone your age/your generation might be interested in the things you are. He could have grown up in a different country, eg you grew up in Naija, he grew up in Yankee... so when you make comments about Baba Suwe, Kollington Ayinla and Oliver de Coque, he's just looking at you. Or maybe he grew up in the same environment as you, but was/is of a different social class, hence your experiences were varied, and similar grounds are few and far between. Or what if he even grew up in the same environment as you and is of the same social class as you, but is just PLAIN not interested in the things you are. It happens,
      But there could be an older guy out there who happens to have all those interests you have, and even if he doesn't, be eager to get involved, as his way of over-compensating for the age/generation gap.

    4. Ada_Ugo, I understand all that.

      If we have no common interests, then what are we doing together? We don't have to enjoy the exact same things but we should have a couple of things that we both like/enjoy doing. There are many things people my age are interested in that I don't care about and there are things I'm interested in that they can't be bothered about.

      I'm not saying old men can't have fun and I can't honestly tell you that if an old man comes along and we "click", care about each other and enjoy each other's company, I'll say an outright NO! But for right now, this is what I think and want.

  9. Its her life she can do whatever she wants,evryone wants that kind of life where u dnt have to struggle for anything..its not bad to admit u r jealous sometimes I guess then work to get urs so u dnt have to marry someone n pple will assume u did it for the money ,that's if u care what pple think

  10. Thelma, why are u making d convo u had with Sandra abt wealth na? As u can see, it's clearly not abt wealth and I don't envy dz type of relationship and wealth dt I don't know 5hit abt one bit! There's is more 2 leading a happy life than luxury, designer clothes, trips in private jets etc, And verily, all the money in the world and the other 9 planets, can't buy true happiness!

    1. But then neither can all the poverty in the world. My point is that people need to quit sounding like wealth equals depression and poverty equals happiness. The bottom line is that there are many poor sad people, likewise there are many rich happy people. Happiness and wealth are NOT mutually exclusive, so please...
      After all my friend is married to a broke man who shags her twice a year and is never home. I'm sure she wouldn't mind so much if she could just hop on a plane, go shopping, lodge in some stupidly fancy hotel and forget about the man. No, she still has to live in squalor, eating indomie and one egg while wondering if he's wearing a condom as he's bedding some prostitute in a dingy motel room somewhere in town.

      Easah abeg nor find my mouth for this matter o! Lol.

    2. Why Sandra, I and most pple usu sound like this kinda marriage equals depression is bcoz 95 percent of pple like Dabota Lawson dt married thier anscestors didn't marry coz of luv but material gains (living d good life), so u get why d fuss?

    3. Bro. I am opposing you on this one. People marry for a variety of reasons and will continue to do so (Choice), I am very sure that her beauty was a major factor in the man's calculation before the marriage.
      Question is why is the woman guilty but not the man?

    4. Wale, you are just too much jare. Over...wise is worrying you o... I doff my gele for you.

  11. I love wealth, I love luxury, I love money, but I would not marry my 'ancestor' (yes I just repeated that line) to attain all of that. Marriage is no child's play, it's something I take seriously. If u say date him (I'm in no way supporting or glorifying runs) il say ok o, but meeeeehn, forever is too long a time to spend with my my dad's age mate. If he is terminally I'll, just maybe il think about it (lol) but what if TB Joshua delivers him #choi# As it is, I already fear that union called marriage, I won't want a man that is quarter to go, and can't even look good in pictures (lol) serious Tee, I won't want a man to musa danjuma me. Reading up stories of his sexcapades everyday. Gimme an average guy with prospects any day, and il pick him over a multi millionaire. I too will be rich one day, let me not mortgage my happiness cos of money. Btw sef, Shebi all na vanity? Sometimes I wish I could go back to the days of leaves as pants, and fresh fruits and air, where I will have no worries about cancer, diabetes, and people seeing me in economy class. Btw what's with this flight ticket stratification people do? Errm, I saw so so and so celeb in economy class. So bleeding bloody what??? More comfort and entertainment aside, pls does the business class cabin land before the economy? The truth is its all vanity, that is the major cause of our issues in this generation. Long throat. In all, my mother will never ever accept the wine, or approve of it. My sister's will not approve either. So it's of no use even dreaming about it. If that is what makes Dabota happy, then good for her. What I wrote there is. "My own opinion, for and of myself"

    1. A man that is quarter to go?? Just to help you change your perspective, people don't die according to how old they are. Death knocks on every door, morning, afternoon and night; takes whoever not minding their ages, character, beauty, etc.

    2. Rotflmao @ "If he is terminally I'll, just maybe il think about it (lol) but what if TB Joshua delivers him #choi#"
      La effizy!!!! Hahahahahahahahahaa!


  12. I love the good things of life no doubt! I'll love to travel in luxury with matching designer luggage and all that jazz! wait a minute, I can afford them because I work hard and won't marry a lazy as no gooder like T's friend. The problem with our generation is that we want to do nothing and yet live in the lap of luxury. That's greed. Patience is & will always be a virtue. I remember the song " I know I can be what I wanna be. If I work hard on it I'll be what I wannabe". Have you thought of the law suits Mrs Aku (Jnr) may be faced with after her husband's demise ? Her kids may have to be faced with the senior Akus that will Lord it over them. These are African realities, I have friends who are kids from junior wives of rich men and I know it's not a walk in the park! Let's face it sisters, such happiness has a very short life span. Before you know it the billionaire finds a new toy cause he has enough to spread and your so called happiness uses the door right before your eyes! Bottom line is I'm not jealous of DL, she's made her choice and I've made mine to work hard and find true happiness! I'm out! Lol!

    1. God bless you. It's her Choice....let her live her life the way she wants. if she married him for money....good for her. if it's for Love...hian...equally good for her oh.

  13. My own issue is why is it whenever a young attractive female marries an older man, who happens to be rich, people conclude it must be for his money. Not his looks, his charm, the way he makes her feel, and for any other conceivable reason why people get married.
    I can't make a judgement call on if or not Dabota Lawson is happy in her marriage, but I can say there could be a plethora of other reasons why she married this man. Older men do make good lovers too, jes saying.
    By the way, why are people not making the same "she married him for his money" comment about 28yr old Solange and her 51yr old hubby? That's right, cos there's nothing to say.
    Sometimes, love does not see an age difference.

  14. All the issues raised can be found in marriages with little age difference. Like Wale said ppl marry for different reasons. Some girls cannot be happy except when they live in luxury. She may be one of those girls so she is happy. What makes A happy may differ from what makes B happy. There is no guarantee in life, young guy may make Ada sad but an older guy may make her happy. J


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