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Blog Reader Asks... (On The Protocol For Fiancé's Siblings)





Thelma Please do a post on whether one must call his fiance's siblings who happen to be younger than (me)... Aunty and Uncle? I am an Edo babe, i believe in respect but to call my fiancé's siblings 'uncle' and 'aunty' doesn't work for me. My fiance is a yoruba guy and he has not asked such of me yet but you know how these things can be, and besides I don't know if he is expecting me to do so. So I hope the yoruba people on the blog will help shed more light on this issue. Thank you. 

Comments

  1. Na wa. If you had/have a brother would your fiance call him "uncle"?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just do it
    Marriage is less of you and more of your partner and the marriage eventually.
    It doesn't remove anything for your body to call them uncle and aunty, just go with the flow otherwise you'll have unnecessary drama to deal with. my 2 kobo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Even if they're younger than her? Mba nu. Me I can't sha.

      Delete
    2. Do what? Tufiakwa. Person wey I senior. Mba. Fafafa fowl. Like memphis asked... would he call my younger ones uncle or aunty?

      Delete
  3. Lols, im sorry but I wldnt. The title "Aunty" and "Uncle" is for literally ur aunt/uncle or anyone old enuf to be called one.

    It's this type of thing that breeds insults from those siblings. Set ur parameters now or forever hold ur peace...
    (Does this really happen in Yoruba culture? Even among the educated/enlightened ones?)

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Marriage is less of you and more of your partner"??? *very dumbfounded!* Ok o!

    @ Poster, it's your call. Depends on the family you're marrying into as well. I have plenty Yoruba friends with older sister in-laws, and it's never been an issue. Your name is your name o, without all that 'oju aiye' drama. Maybe because their families are pro-modern (for want of a better word).
    Best you settle it now before the wedding, cos as minor an issue as it may seem, it's one of the little seeds that can grow and blossom into a major tree (if not forest) of discord with your inlaws, which may affect your marriage eventually. During family functions (that's assuming you attend), observe them and learn. U'll surely get hints from your interaction with said siblings and his family in general.
    As the proper ibo girl that I am sha..... I just can't biko!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is not. Marriage is about giving. When people become selfish, that's when issues starts arising

      Delete
  5. Im sure there is no problem yet, You are just trying to envisage one,
    If there are remarks from family members you cant call them by name directly...Yoruba will say KO SI KEKERE ANA.
    Call the Sister SISI MI or Mama awon Boys
    Call the Brother Baba Oko mi or Engineer or Doctor, whatever his profession.
    Respect their Culture and Enjoy your Marriage!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm a yoruba girl, I have one or two aunties who call me "aunty" and its embarrassing. The others who don't call me and my sis aunty call us "Iya Oko".
    My mum told all of them that it wasn't necessary.

    I for one won't call any small girl aunty because I want to get married plus, we're in the 21st century, all these things died in the 90s. Its not a sign of respect. I don't have to call you aunty or uncle to respect you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Too much ignorance here. What anybody does is dependent of the family he or she is marrying into. Neglect that at your peril.
    Generally, Yoruba culture says that anybody born before a wife is married is "older" than that wife. Things are changing now but better to check with fiance to know what's expected. At the end of the day, the success everybody achieves is largely dependent on them. When you get that list from your in laws from Mbaise, please ask them if they are selling their daughter and watch how they reduce it fast.
    Please ask your husband and discuss with him if you have contrary opinion.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just go with wale.
      The family is the determinant!!!clear this before marriage so lil things won't frustrate u out

      Delete
    2. Spot on Wale!!!! so poster.... Listen to him o!

      Sunshine, all your "I won't do this" "I won't do that".... na one day e go end o, and i dey wait you! shubby! I wie remind you!

      Delete
    3. Best response yet. Dear poster we wont be their to bear the consequences of your choice with you. Be wise and ask the person you Are marrying

      www.pynk360.com

      Delete
  8. Do not start it at all,call dem by names or better still give them a pet name,because if u start it and u don't continue or u stop them go give u name,so from now,u just don't start at all. I would give you a scenario of my aunt who married a Yoruba, my aunt's MIL and in laws would complain that she does not come to d family house every weekend, she does not call her husband siblings aunty n brother,she does not joioin cooking when there is a family stuff (except she feels like). When they complained and saw that she wasn't even minding them,they had to accept it because they know her for that even though d other wives in d family don't do that,they see my aunt as iron lady but she know send them. So if u start calling aunty n brother now n u get married to him and stop,babe u are in deep shit ohh. Just ignore and pretend like u don't know d trend and don't do mumu for them,that way they would know u are not a westerner therefore, u don't know their culture n would let u be.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Provided u dont ve to serve them or run errands that an older person shld not run for younger ones then i ll say its totally harmless, it doesnt change anything if u call them aunty or uncle as long as they respect and give u ur space, then you are good. Infact for me its a non- issue.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm married to a calabar man, and have inlaws married to yoruba man, the main matriarch among the inlaws was beefing me that I don't call her children aunty and uncle and sister.

    Left for me I'd just ignore their talk, but for the sake of my sanity I call the elder oones sister xyz and the younger ones or my age mates by their names. Who wan vex make he vex.

    Do what gives you peace.

    ReplyDelete
  11. This is funny. Why will you call them uncle ? I come from an edo family and my cousins all call their inlaws by name.. Except the older ones.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It would be funny if your inlaws .. The younger ones get pissed off because you didn't address them as uncle or AuNty lol

      Delete
  12. They shud b d ones calling u aunty cos u re older than them (if its abt giving respect) .... And I tink calling them by their names will help u build a personal rlshp with them.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Lol this is funny. I am yoruba to the core and even though some things are yoruba culture, some things are totally unecessary and outdated. How can you call someone younger than you "aunty"? Cant even imagine my brother's wife calling me aunty when shes almost 10years older than me, in fact my parents would be the first to tell her to stop. Ki lo de? If i wasnt so close to her, i should even be putting 'sister' before her name, my little brother even puts 'sister' before her name, he dare not call her by name because she is wayyy older.

    ReplyDelete
  14. You are not from their tribe they will understand if you don't call them Aunty or uncle...nevertheless ask your fiance what is expected of you!

    ReplyDelete

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