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Dear Thelma... (His Mother Is Strongly Against Our Marriage).





Dear Thelma, good day dear I decided to write to you after your post on tribes yesterday. I am currently facing this issue in my relationship. My fiancĂ© is from the east and am edo, this year marks our 3rd year in the relationship and the year he proposed. He has met my family and I met his mum before but everything was normal till he said he wants to marry me. I cant explain how she changed overnight, that her son cannot marry me or someone from edo state, she said she cannot be alive and allow her son to marry me. He is still telling me not to mind her, that she will calm down after the wedding, which she said she will not attend o. He is the only son so that makes my problem even worse. My mind is telling me to walk away because the stories I hear about wicked mother in laws are terrible and I don't have the energy to be at war all the time, sometimes she calls my phone and threaten me. But how can I just throw away 3 yrs of my life at age 31? Besides I love this man and I don't know how I can start another relationship with another man now. I am so confused honestly. Please I need advice. 

Comments

  1. Do the court registry and wait.
    He better be man enuf to defend u tho...

    ReplyDelete
  2. What's her reasons for her disapproval? What's his stand on all these?

    In Nigeria, we marry families. If his mum is so open about her disapproval, I'll advise you let go. You don't want a lifetime of In-law wahala especially with an only son.

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  3. Been in n out of the hospital
    I lost my baby right after finding out i was pregnant,
    I've been bleeding badly and just wont stop crying.
    Please say a word of prayer for me!
    Compliments of the Season everyone!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are blessed...in Jesus Name.

      Delete
    2. I pray God's perfect will would come to pass in your life inspite of your loss. So sorry for the loss, God gives, God takes, However I pray, henceforth for you, He'd always give and give more abundantly. I also pray your bleeding ceases and you live in that good divine health He has promised us. The shouts of joy shall be yours for the latter parts of this year, the New Year and always.
      I just said a prayer for you and I'd keep you in my prayers.

      Delete
    3. I hardly know what to say. It's well my dear, God who has a way of turning sorrow to joy will not overlook you.

      Delete
    4. It is well with you dear, it is well with your body, it is well with your soul, it is well with your spirit.
      The plans of the enemy to truncate good things in your life will fail woefully.
      Very Very soon, your tears will turn to laughter, your mourning will be turned to dancing and your joy will be full.

      Compliments of the season to you too.
      Please take very good care of yourself. Eat well, eat right, and take your medication. You'll be fine

      Delete
    5. Awwwwwww. *hugs* I'm so sorry about your loss. I'm praying for you right away. May God console you. All will be well eventually. Pls, be strong so your body can be too.

      Delete
    6. It is well with you. God will give u double portion for your loss. He will surprise u.

      Delete
    7. I'm so sorry hun! I know nothing can make u feel better now but know for sure u will get pregnant again and have a healthy baby in Jesus name. It is well with u

      Delete
    8. So sorry dear! Double portion restoration, is yours in Jesus Name!

      Delete
    9. Big hug to you dear. May the good Lord heal and console you.

      Delete
    10. It is well with you; please get proper and adequate medical care.

      Delete
    11. Sorry dear, God knows best and may he fulfill his promises in your life...Amen

      - A Bili

      Delete
    12. It is well,take care of yourself and know there was nothing u could have done.

      Delete
    13. I speak healing into your body. The bible says that by his stripes we were healed. So I proclaim it over your situation and I see you testifying in the near future Amen!

      Delete
    14. So sorry about this. May God comfort you and replace the loss in a good time.

      -F

      Delete
    15. Sorry about it. May God comfort and heal you. You'll have a healthy baby(ies).

      Delete
  4. I think the Man should have Authority and take responsibility over his relationship/Marraige. I for one know about my own mum's disapproval of A LOT of ethnic groups but I'm not bothered abt it cos when I'm ready, no matter what her opinion is, I know wat is more important to her than getting married to anyone on earth.

    My Point is, He should definitely know how his mom ticks. So if He says you shouldn't worry as he had said (that's if he's truly serious about you and you're sure of that) then stay with your beloved husband please. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dear Anon, and WHEN God shall turn your story,it shall be like a dream.May He give you double for your pain and console you with Children that are mightier than nations.Can I hear you shout Amen? All is well

    Hmm,disapproving mother in law,me I will run oh,i just don't have the energy abeg but I get where you are coming from.

    Your fiance should not be so quick to dismiss her disapproval oh especially as she is threatening you....i feel you should pray about this,do you have peace about marrying this dude?

    Favourite

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think u should put ur mind at rest like he has said and don't bother urself but make sure u do a court wedding backing ur marriage up legally @anon rider,may the good Lord lay his healing hands on u in Jesus name. U are healed by the precious blood of the lamb.

    ReplyDelete
  7. So sorry for the loss of your baby. God will perfect that which concerns you. It is well with you in Jesus name.

    Dear, mother inlaw wahala is plenty, especially when the woman openly shows her disapproval, what of your man's father, what's his take.

    This decision is one you must take alone even after all the advise you get. The main issue is can your man stand by you 100 percent when the heat comes on.

    Pray for God's wisdom please.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dear Poster,

    This your situation is a dicey one. Women are very powerful.
    If your intended is a mama's boy, then I suggest you not take his word for it and jejely walk away now. But if you think he's man enough to stand up to his mum then you might consider going in but rest assured that you will always be fighting his mum.
    You should also have it at the back of your mind that this woman might never like you.

    I wish you best of luck **in my Grandpa's voice**

    PS: Where is FNLP fa! Did she travel to North Korea? Na dem dey get internet whala recently courtesy USA

    ReplyDelete
  9. @anon rider... Sorry for ur loss and please stop crying cos ryt nw its nt good for you. Another one that wil stay is on the Way.
    @ Poster, what to do actually depends on the kinda man ur bae is....

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anon Rider soo sowi,God will comfort you

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous Rider, May God strengthen U & Urs... U'll be fine & we'll be here to celebrate the birth of another baby.
    #HugsDear

    ReplyDelete
  12. i agree with sasha. do the registry and probably take in but with your fiance's consent.

    - A Bili

    ReplyDelete
  13. @Anonymous rider, take heart hun and be strong. Our God is always able.

    Back to d post...'Strongly against'. Ds one is strong o. Personally I wudnt want an unhappy marriage or advice anyone to make a wrong choice. A cruel mother-in-law I can't wish on an enemy, but if DH says not to worry dat she'll calm, den pray hard bc she prolly will only if DH is one wt strong will not a mama's boy. Pls do ur calculations well and do away wt ds 'I am 31' mentality. Being single and happy is very much better Dan living in hell. If d odds outweigh d gains, I wudnt mind walking away even if its 5 years. Pray hard dear poster and may God see u tru

    ReplyDelete
  14. This is something u have to decide by yourself,having a mother in law that doesn't like u is really stressful and not something u wish ur enemy. I think u should pray abt it,if u don't have peace concerning the marriage then leave it

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thanks everyone, Shouts of Joy will never cease from our tabernacles!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. GOD WILL MAKE ALL PERFECT FOR YOU. YOU WILL LAUGH AT LAST...JUST WAIT AND SEE WHAT JEHOVAH OVERDO WOULD DO...HUGGGGGSS AND KISSSSSS

      Delete
  16. I would say even though its hard, just forget him. He is not and wont be matured enough to give you the support you would need when his mum starts trouble with you. A mother that objects to his son's choice of wife without having any friction with her is a sign of a controlling mother. And she probably knows her decisions rule for her to be calling and threatening u instead of discussing with her son privately about any objections she might have against you and leave him to decide as a man. The woman probably sees her son as incapable of making good choices. Otherwise what is her business? Is she the one you would be living with? If you decide to go ahead with it, you would live the rest of your marital life trying to please her and getting her to like you. And it would get to a point were you would get fed up and then you'll see how her son would get on her side if all he has to say now is "dont mind her"

    ReplyDelete

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