Skip to main content

Dear Thelma... (Please How Do I Cope With a Broken Heart?)

A blog reader referred me to the mail below on Linda Ikeji's blog with a simple question ; how do you recover from a broken heart? She said she is in similar shoes, that is exactly how she feels and she has started taking heavy doses of sleeping medicine and/codeine to dull the pain;

Thelma this mail is as if am the one that wrote it. It has gotten to the point where am wishing I will just die in my sleep. Please will I ever be ok again? How does someone survive after heart break?

After 3 and a half years with my boyfriend, he broke things off on September 30th. He said he was no longer happy and wanted to be single again. I've been begging him for the past two months for another chance but he's adamant. Now, I've been having these suicidal thoughts. Sometimes when I'm sleeping, my heart just stops and I literally can't breath for close to 5 seconds. I don't function normally anymore. My friends keep telling me I will heal with time but the way I'm feeling, I feel like I will one day just drop dead. I have headache 24/7 just from thinking about him. I've tried, I've even gone to church, I can't stop hurting or stop thinking about him. Just this weekend I thought dying would be the best way out but I don't want to die but how do I stop my heart from hurting so much. The headaches has turned my eyes to bloodshot red. I can't live. Help me!

Coping techniques anyone?

BTW I decided to start approving comments for now, I've received so many messages that it's very hard to comment with the new verification method. This is the only alternative for now. I promise to approve as speedily as possible. 


  1. Be proud of urself my dear, the fact he has left u means he doesn't deserve you, period.

    So how do u feel when you know that he's living his life to the fullest and you are here trying to kill ursef?

    I guess u depended in him more that he did. Inequilibrium things

    Move on and find a better man upfront dan dwelling on depending on him more!

  2. This is why i keep saying the female child needs heavy doses of sensitization. God made you whole, it your life sow worthless that because a man walked out of it after 3 years? Get angry, get revenge. The revenge should be that you become so awesome that the person who left you will regret their actions. Be better for you. Let the rejected stone become the builders choice, it your God given power, use it instead of feeling blue.

  3. This one pass me but let me try. Dear poster,I know it's difficult, have been dere done that and I know how u feel but I promise u it would pass,just try and hangout,do things you know used to make u happy or makes u happy,find a distraction, someone that would always make u laugh and pray to God, ask him to help u and am sure u would be fine. Easier said than done though but u would fine I know.

  4. I know it's REALLY hard to believe right now but trust me,this too shall pass.Coping Techniques......try to spend as much time with others than alone,if you stay alone,you might want to invite a friend over(that helped me),you might want to change environment.....take a vacation with the girls if you can afford it.....and yes talk about it to someone who won't tell you it's ok,who would just let you rant.....and Yes cry all you does help.

    Above all,talk to God as much as you can....tell him exactly how you feel,ask Him to take the pain away.....He will....the pain might not magically fade away but it will get better.....been there....done that

    And once again, this too shall pass trust me

  5. God can fill that void, turn to Him. everything will be fine

  6. People get divorced after years of marriage and survive. Be glad he did this now and not after you guys got married. Your friends are right you will get over this. Just think of it as an imbalance of hormones and chemicals in your brain making you sad. Cos that's just what it is. The hard part will soon be over. Stay strong. Good luck dear.

  7. The pain doesn't go away just like that,it heals with time. In a similar situation now,after crying I went on my knees and told God what I want because I need to numb the pain and be able to forge ahead,its never easy but you have to pray for strength to carry on. Kiki

  8. Cry if you, even insult him sef while crying. I'm not joking.
    Try as much as you can to be busy and not be alone. Try to keep improving yourself and make you proud.
    Say all you feel and want to God.
    You'll be fine some day.

  9. Time really heals actually thou it might take time but in the main time try to know you are a special person n you r worthy of everything beautiful,try to invest more in yourself n always helps

  10. dear poster, heartbreak is inevitable in life its how we get over it that differs. go to places different from where you both go to, see a movie, go out with friends, talk about it(it wld make u feel better. trust me) or simply get a note pad n pen n write all about it. buy pizza, be happy at all cost, dress well, look good, talk to people, get distracted, a rebound isnt a bad idea, look on the positive side of life and d cons of a heartbreak WEIGHT LOSS! LOL. i went from 16 to 10 in 3months after an 8months r/ship. and above all i found a BETTER man which made me wonder why i was in d previous r/ship the whole time. u'd be fine and u'd find better. he doesnt deserve you afterall. *big hug*

  11. Dear Poster,

    What everyone has said is true. Time does help. It will hurt like hell for a while but it will eventually stop hurting as much.
    When I had my heart broken, I moved closer to God. I read my bible more, I looked for God's promises for me in the bible, I prayed a lot. God was the only one I could tell everything to even though he already knew. I would talk to God in tears and tell him how much it hurts and how I want the pain to hurry up and go away. The good thing about talking to God is you know he's listening and he isn't judging you.

    I also read a lot. I read lots of Christian novels and some inspirational books. I read Pastor Mildred Okonkwo's Just Us Girls, it helped get my mind off my current situation. I also read Joshua Harris's Boy Meets Girl, it opened my eyes to the world of relationships and taught me what and what not to do in my next relationship. I read a lot of Francine Rivers and Karen Kingsbury books too.

    The point is, find ways to distract yourself. Find things that you love to do, things you can lose yourself in that won't make you dwell on your heart break. With time, you will come to accept it and learn to live with it.

    Most importantly, committing suicide is the last thing you want to do. Trust me, No Man Is Worth It especially this one. Like Miss Pynk said, this is the time to get revenge. Be the best YOU you can be. Take courses, improve on yourself such that when you guys meet sometime in the future (and you will), you'll hold your head up high, proud of yourself and your achievements and he'll wonder why he left you in the first place.

    Any man who will do this to you doesn't deserve you anyway so please, go and chop the life of your head and have a blast doing it.

    God bless you

  12. i recently contacted a doctor named Ekaka i find his email: on the internet so i decided to contact him for help in my relationship he ask me to send him my details which i did after that he told me that the gods revealed something to him and he told me everything that was revealed to him and he told me what he was going to do that after three days my relationship became sweet again and the person that was behind my problem came to beg me for forgiveness which was my mother in-law. i and my love are happy again including my mother in-law and we are planning to have a party for this Xmas.... thanks to Dr. Ekaka.

  13. My name is Jennifer martins, from USA I never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to Africa in February this year on a business summit. I meant a man who’s name is DR.madurai he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 6years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to usa, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is :or call +2347067607073


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…


Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Closed Chapter...

Hello everyone, yesterday a friend said to me, Thelma I love your blog, I've told so many people about your blog, I think you're a very good writer but I feel there's something you're not doing right"

This friend was the first person who won our beauty of the day contest back then in 2014. Then we had met just once through a mutual friend. I mentioned the blog to her and she became an instant reader. I wouldn't have exactly called her a friend then but yesterday as we sat down waiting for our Uber to come get us from Wal-Mart, she's definitely my friend and I knew she was coming from a good place when she said she had much higher expectations of my blog.

Me too.

But you see, in the last year or so, maybe even longer than that, I haven't felt much joy in blogging. It began to feel more and more of a laborious chore, one which I hardly reaped any fruits from.

I really love writing, I love sharing my life and my experiences with others and I've enjoy…

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa