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"You're From Benue State, You Must Be Very Promiscuous". Let's TalkAbout Stereotypes.

When I was reading about the title that was just conferred on Genevieve Nnaji, all I was eager to find out was what state she's from. If I had to guess I would have said Anambra or Abia, I learnt that she's not only from IMO state, she's also from Mbaise. 

Mbaise. What???

Immediately I remembered a conversation I had with an older friend of mine weeks ago when I playfully told him that an Mbaise man was on my case. My friend said to me very solemnly "Nwando it is better to remain single than to marry an Mbaise man". I was astounded. 

Ok, in truth that wasn't the first time I was hearing such a thing about Mbaise people, but the way my friend said it, the same friend who's always on my case to "pick one man and marry...... men are all the same", just told me that I should remain single if I must, marrying someone from Mbaise is NOT an option. 

So I asked around and I heard all sorts, I heard things like they're very wicked, they don't have hearts, their hearts are at their backs; an Mbaise person will kill you first and think about the consequences later, they're stingy, they're too cunning and can kill a man for money, those people are too wicked, simply evil, you can never trust someone from Mbaise. On and on they went. 

I'd waited for just one person to tell me that's all simply crap, I waited in vain. I even asked two women married to men from Mbaise and they whispered the same thing to me; they're not good people

Hmmmm. I'm not quite sold yet, I just find it all a bit far fetched. 

Over the years I've heard all sorts of stereotypes about people from different tribes and ethnic groups in Nigeria. I'll share a few with you. 

-Benue women are very loose and promiscuous and would sleep with almost anyone. 
-Bini (people) are very fetish and diabolical. 
-Bini women = Prostitutes. 
-Igbo men are very industrious and natural money makers
-Anambra women are very stubborn and headstrong and are rarely ever submissive to their husbands. 
-Asaba women make the worst wives. 
-Efik and Ibibio (Akwa Ibom, Cross Rivers) women are great in bed and are most skilled at keeping men; ever heard that phrase; "if your man starts cheating on you with a Calabar woman just forget about him"?
-Men from that axis are also very virile and last longer in bed
-Ijaw men are great womanizers and more polygamous in nature than the average man
-Northerners are the most honest people you'll find in Nigeria. 
-Some people say "marry a Yoruba man and be sure that your husband has another family outside"
-Yorubas are very academic and will choose knowledge over money. 
-They say most Northern men have homosexual tendencies and the evidence of this is that anal sex is practiced most in the north (Although I cannot testify to this, I'm reminded of something I learnt while in Kano. I met a sex worker who complained of the extremely high rate of STDs in that region, and most of the victims were teenage girls. He said the girls were vaginal virgins but engaged in anal sex on the regular. Because; they needed to be married as virgins, their men prefer anal sex and they had the misconception that anal sex is safer; less risk of diseases and also, pregnancies). 

I've heard so much said about the different people from different tribes, a few I've found to be true (but I won't tell you which. Hehe), most I've found to be most likely mythical or plain ridiculous. 

What characteristics have you heard being ascribed to a particular group of people? Have you found them to be true or false? Do stereotypes about tribes and ethic groups even hold any weight at all?

And oh, while we're at it, have you ever been a victim of a broken relationship resulting from something your partner's parents said about people from your place? (I know I have; "Igbo girls love money too much and will leave if things get rough, besides Igbos have no respect for elders or 'our' tradition"...). 


  1. These are just mere speculations if u ask me. Its not always true bt atymes when some people act, you ll have no option than to believe its true. Eg. They say Nnewi people are cunning, ritualists and always think that they are wiser than others..... Well, the ones I've met didn't act otherwise!

  2. Hmm,I quite believe some or maybe most. We are Nigerians and as such our different tribes and cultures come with its peculiarities.
    When ur dating,ur dating an individual and thus prolly don't see them cultural signs but when u marry,u marry the person's family and village clan who wld not fail to remind u they are Africans and as such must uphold their culture which then takes us back to this post...

  3. Bullsssss....... 95% of my girlfriends are Ibo. love money? Naaaaahhhh. These are good girls, very respectful and industrious. My best friend is Idoma from Benue State. I've been to that State a couple of times, and found out all they say about them is not true.
    T, please show me a tribe that you don't find atleast 4 people with all the attributes that you listed.
    We had a driver who was from Mbaise, he was kind to a fault. I used to ask him if there was no 'No' in his dictionary, he just laffed. And he smiled all the time. So one day we asked him where he was from in Imo state and he said mbaise. Come and see Questions and Answers section in our house that day.
    I do not believe anything I hear about a tribe, not even when one or two peeps from that tribe posses such negative attributes. My question is always 'why would I use the attitude of 2 scoundrels to generalise a whole tribe?
    Please know that every tribe, race, country etc have people with unscrupulous attitude.

  4. Sterotypes? Most of us have been sterotyped. we've all done it to an extent, either religious, tribal, ethnic et al and more importantly some of us have experienced the negative effects of stereotyping (like Thelma lost a potential hubby due 2 d sterotype of igbo pple and their love 4 cheddar). Like me, I'm 4rm Kogi state and pple blv dt those 4rm Kogi are very troublesome and tribalistic. How I deal with that? I tryna change the Stereotype! I Go against the grain of the stereotype by doing the opposite of what is the negative stereotype behaviour and thereby proving people wrong. This has helped in changing d perspective of those I come in contact with daily, my friends and those in my immediate environment dt hv different types of negetive sterotypes against Kogites. Whn I tell pple I'm 4rm Kogi state, d first thing u hear is, IT'S A LiE hehehehe

  5. Thelma, I Don't believe that these conspiracy theories are worth putting too much thoughts into. Although, I know for CERTAIN of Bini men being promiscous/Dual-Family responsibility(I'm even surprised that yoruba men fall into this category too). And Note that Binis are not Diabolical, I know cos I've lived there for more than 2decades.

    I'm a Bini Dude, Proud and I don't care how anyone feels but I won't choose my spouse based on Ethnicity cos I don't see myself as someone who would put my Wife into such psychological trauma. In short, I'll put it into the category of Family (mental)Violence

  6. Thelma Mbaise people are a no-no, especially the men. I agree with your friend it is better to be single than marry from there. And if your husband dies before you then you are in very hot pepper soup, they will use you to mop the ground. Terrible people.

    1. Hahahaha. The visuals of Thelma being used as a mop is hilarious!!

      Who has heard about isialangwa (ngwa) people? Lol

    2. Ahh I remember when a family friend from ngwa was asking me out,ha everyone was on my case,they get luck cos I didn't want to date him. But heard the like made women oh. Wont like to pay school fees or spend on a girl

  7. You forgot Ondo people. Those guys are MEAN! They're very hot tempered and stubborn. I know a couple of them and the story is the same.

    Thing is, these things won't be true for all of them but it will be true for a large number. I'll admit some of them are completely ridiculous

    I heard that Mbaise story when i was in JSS2. I had a friend whose guardian's wife was from there, she used to maltreat the poor girl. The babe told me she wasn't surprised that she was like that cos Mbaise pple are evil like that. She said they eat people too. I was a kid so i believed the whole thing.

    My parents won't let me marry anybody from the east cos "they like money too much" and have "a lot of idols"... Nigerians and tribalism..
    Almost eveybody i meet warns against marrying an igbo man.. no jokes. I keep telling myself "they can't be that evil now" but then again, are all those people wrong?

    1. MBA eh the different states have their wahala ,Anambra get ready for mother in law wahala,and they like jazz,orlu likes money and are very proud,Owerri men are lazy and will even sell their backyard(true) their women are promiscuous,Mbaise mean and trouble makers,their sense no be here; njaba don't treat their wives well. When I remember more will update

  8. I've heard of yoruba men having families outside n the fact that they all cheat but I know some really good ones
    I believe the behaviour of certain pple from a place shouldn't b used to judge everyone from that place ,by the way if you look from all angles every tribe has a good n bad side

  9. Hehe... ondo and ekiti people are mean, hot tempered and very stubborn! There's this ondo guy that has been on my case and iv totally refused to listen or even be nice... like its in my head! lmao! My mom has been saying this tribe kini is BS but mehn... I can't help it o.

    Ibadan people are cunning and they are not straight forward.

    Ijebu people are stingy, they like party too much! Lol

    Egba people are..... I can't remember.

    Ile-ife... lmao! I don't know o. But I sha know I can't marry someone like my father sha! Lol! So let's move forward

    Ijesha... I hear they are stubborn too. Mule headed! Hehehehee(apologies to ijesha people)

    Okay that's all I can remember for now.

    If they are true? Well some are, some are not! *Tomide never stops to tell me it's not about where he is from but the spirit of God in him that has made him a better man and different from... *yada yada yada*... anyway! some are true! All the ondo men I know are stubborn!!!! Christ! Very stubborn and hot tempered. And they like pounded yam(hehe!) (Tomide is not hot tempered tho but I think he is stubborn) so there you have it!

    Which begs the question... who will I marry o! Lmao! Iv almost exhausted all my options! Lol!


    1. Haba! You have cancelled everybody finish keh! Thank God you realized it yourself.
      Why can't you marry someone like your dad? Please I will like to know.

    2. Boda wale... uhmnn! Awon Agba bo, won ni eni to ba beere oro ni n fe Idi re gbo(chai! I'm good... hehehee!)
      He is a good man, wonderful father et al but then... ha! he is very authoritative, opinionated, temperamental...(boda Wale, is on you o! cuz is u dah asked me question o! Lol!) And he does things without thinking about how the other person feels and later expects you to forget it like nothing happened. I'm a very sensitive person. What you don't say gan.. I wie hear. And I just can't deal with that for the rest of my life. You know.... having to walk around someone's feelings and make sure to please the person at all times. In a nutshell, I know women need lots and lots of patience + a Lil bit of stupidity(like momsy always says) to live with a man peacefully, but then... the patience you need to deal with my dad... noh be here o! And iv not sat down to ask for such grace cuz I really pray I won't need it. Lol.

      Anyway! Concerning exhausting options... lol! I strongly believe in God's will.. whether the guy is from kaduna or mbaise or okija or ondo or ijebu or ijesha... Jer 29:11 comes to mind. So no wahala. Gbogbo e ma make sense! Lol!


    3. Oh ok, good reasoning. Thanks for the clarifications.

  10. ondo/edo peeps r diabolical
    imo girls esp mbaise and owerri marry for money and they suck their suitor/hubby dry to the extent that he abandons his family and spends all his money on his wife and his inlaws.
    ijebu's r stingy
    aboki's are trustworthy (well to me not the ones in lagos oh, maybe the ones in the north sha)
    nnewi/idemili (in anambra) peeps are industrious and very wise.
    igbo guys have ego issues and have superiority complex when it comes to their wives. they are chauvinists.

    i think everything depends on the individuals involved some of these beliefs are true though but there are always exceptions.

    -A Bili

  11. I won't completely rule out the possibility of these things being true. Sometimes these things are misunderstood. For instance, the common knowledge that igbo men love money. If you offer an igbo billionaire and a Yoruba billionaire $10000 each, they both will collect without batting an eyelid. But tell both of them to do something unusual for that amount, and you'll most likely get a hesitant yoruba man. An average igbo man is ready to do almost anything to get the amount of money that other men from other tribes desire but won't tow similar paths.

    The thing about Mbaise people is generally true, unfortunately (apologies to ndi Mbaise), but if I had an SO from that zone I won't hesitate to spend the rest of my life with her. We're humans, mixture of light and darkness, and yours truly isn't ready to judge people from the dark side. I focus on light. Ndi Mbaise are humans and have fantastic qualities too. Stay blessed.

  12. I'm from Benue and I remember wen I went to camp anybody who I told where I was from was like wow! They all had something to say about our sexuality but I'm never bothered about those talks. I enjoy sex I talk about it(of course wen I was single) I think the reason they say all that is cos we are open about sex unlike pple who make it sound like a taboo.
    I've heard a lot about many tribes but i judge pple based on the character they potray wen I meet them. Mmmmmmmmmnnn ok bye

  13. Calabar girls are good in bed ( so all those randy officers wanted to date me since I was one, yeye old fools)
    Benue girls are promiscuous and stubborn
    Imo/owerri girls are just after mmoney, that is why majority are runs girls (lol)
    Yoruba people are dirty, they can even poo in their pants if the bus driver refuses to stop.
    Edo people are fetish, their jazz and juju no be here
    Urhobo men are polygamous in nature, if u date him, he will cheat on you always (meanwhile I have a crush on urhobo people, that language is just too sexy) btw they will always want to play more sensible
    Igbo men take care of their women very well, and spoil them with money (sadly I do not like igbo men, I think they are loud, or maybe the language always sounds loud (apologies to the igbos here)) oh, btw why does yoruba language always sound like people are quarreling? Except it's in a song sha. The sexiest language has to be hausa when spoken by an educated person. Oh ugep men ( that's my village yo) proud, huge ego, and can't take care of their women (true that, so I'm never walking down that line again) my hand aches... forgive the typos pls

    1. Omg!!! Did I just type that epistle? Tee darling #side eyes#, there is one gist I have for you sef, but to type d mail dey tire me. I started typing today but I stopped. Lol. Is it possible to have you on my bbm contact please? Where is Ruthylicious?? Her comments have been scarce o, abi is she Kabuoy? They r both talkative (dodges shoe, stones and bottles) but they make this place more lively.

    2. Oh wow,i served in Ekori. Yakurr LG.

    3. Please where do u guys get ur facts from? I'm quite confused as whether dis Same Bini/Edo I lived/came from is where 'Fetish' act is being associated with. #Weird!

    4. Uyi this Bini/Edo fetish story is legendary. I heard the gist a long time ago. Someone even told me that there's a part of Edo state where they give new born babies witchcraft. I cannot vouch for the authenticity of the story but that's how it was told to me.

      I had this Bini friend in camp then who swore that he could not marry a Bini girl. I was dumbfounded. He was born, bred and buttered in Bini o yet he swore he wouldn't touch them with a long pole if they were the only women in the world. Why? Promiscuity

      Thing is, every town/village/state has their own weird and downright scary stories, just know that it cant be true for everyone.

    5. @uyi I remember when I gained admission into uniben my mum started crying why? Cos according to her I would br handef my own broomstick once I enter benin, there's no way I'll go there and not return a witch...

    6. WTF mehn? Wow! I and my extended/compound family/Friends n foes/acquaintances/who-ever-i-meet-newly do not think to start a conversation on the basis that one of us may have been Be-witched. This is really a new one for me. Atleast I know of promiscuity which is 85% predominant.

    7. Lmao! Phransea, so when you graduated how many Brooms did u take home? Hahahahah! Very funny

    8. Uyi woye? You just took the words out of my mouth. Yes Phransea, how many brooms did my people give you when you graduated?
      I'm from Edo state (the Ishan speaking part)....if anyone says any negative thing about my state again on this blog, I'll deal with that person in a very 'witchery way'......bin doing that since 1517BC....
      All of you believing and saying those things about these tribes, when such is said about yours, how do you feel?
      Again and again......fa fa fa fowl.....Bulls

    9. Hahahahaha! Phransea! Uniben was my first choice! Hian! My mom said No! Ha! My dad was even cool about It and was like no problem! But my mom strongly refused! I begged and begged to no avail. I eventually changed but unfortunately, the school I chose refused to give admission to those that just wrote waec that year. It took a long time before I could forgive her o. Especially when she told me her reason(your mom's reason and cultists) So Uyi and Ejoec, no need to get all defensive... that's what we've been made to believe.

      La effizy!!! **side eye** lol! I'm not Ruthy o! I miss her tho. And that shoe is definitely coming for you! Lol! **throws one shoe**


    10. @ejoec Oye se o,

      @Kabouy, I went to uniben 2005(when 'cultism' was still a mainstay), no single dude confronted me or did 'evangelism' on me. As at den sef, there was more Campus fellowships dan cultists.

      Nobody was ever caught to be a witch, the only thing then was 'mouth-washing' between Hall2(girls) and Hall3(boys) any alumnus wud kne dis. Lolz! Was funny fun. I miSs that school! Was the best school in Nigeria at a time then.
      So Kabouy, you missed a lot my dear.

    11. Duuuuh! I didn't jare! Lemme jor! Lol!
      I'm sooo over it! **tongue out**


  14. I'm from Benue and I remember wen I went to camp anybody who I told where I was from was like wow! They all had something to say about our sexuality but I'm never bothered about those talks. I enjoy sex I talk about it(of course wen I was single) I think the reason they say all that is cos we are open about sex unlike pple who make it sound like a taboo.
    I've heard a lot about many tribes but i judge pple based on the character they potray wen I meet them. Mmmmmmmmmnnn ok bye

  15. Yorubas are cowards and back stabbers(sorry to the yoruba pple here) out of the 10 yorubas i'v associated with 9 exhibited the traits above except for my darl Tayo. 9 times bitten, perpetually shy. J

  16. some of these traits are true, they are not myths, ignore them at your own peril. I am an Edo girl, but I have never wanted to marry a bini man or even an Edo man. That is not to say there are no good guys.

    Bini men can be lazy, (not all o). i also didn't plan to date or marry a yoruba man, chances that he will cheat on you is high.

    Thats a normal thing for them, they can also be serious back stabbers.

    igbos are generally to loud, the men or the language. infact i always say the igbo language is a natural body builder.

    From experience, a lot of igbo girls are manner-less and disrespectful. (so when i see a cultured igbo girl or guy i respect them). I can take this particular trait to the bank. I dont know what it is about some igbo girls that make them so mannerless. It baffles me.

    Benue girls, some of them can be loose sha, sex is not a big deal to them at all.

    Bini girls and the craze for money, its so pathetic that prostitution is linked to them, however, the issue of promiscuity is worse in the north.

    I was in the north for about 6 yeras. the thing wey my eye see no be small, forget all those hijab and jalaboa that those women/girls wear, most times they walk about pantless and braless anf get straffed in corners all over the place at night.

    A typical hausa woman, can sleep with her husbands friend and take a stroll. both the men and women can be very rotten.

    You see the young men getting high on cough syrup with codeine, or smell decayed feaces just for the high, homosexuality nko, the notherners no dey carry last.

    Infact if you wan to see orishirishi, its in the north. forget all their holier than thou attitude o...them spoil pass . CEO

    1. So where did you marry from? And why did you marry from there?

    2. I find yorubas very dirty, rude ,loud and obnoxious. The exceptions are very rare.

  17. Dang....all these stereotypes,which tribe are you from sef?

  18. I do not believe in stereotypes.
    Yoruba people are dirty...I hear. My mum is a perfectionist when it comes to cleaniness. Infact 99 of the 105 Yoruba people I've met are CLEAN. I deal with people based on the character shown and character is predominantly from your surroundings and people around you.

  19. Well, the way i see it i would say i dont really agree with this stereotype thing because to me its based on NATURE AND NUTURE. i.e where u where born and brought up, the people you associate with. Then your family and the way you were brought up. I am from Edo state and ppl just believe i should be wayward and possess all the attributes of an Edo girl. When in actual fact i am just my own person and lean a bit towards Delta traits because i was born and grew up in Warri. I dont possess a single Edo trait in me.

    1. SB, what's with you don't possess a single Edo trait? I grew up in Benin, schooled in Uniben. Left Edo state when I went for NYSC in PH and work in Lagos. Does the fact that I grew up there make me wayward?
      When I was posted to Rivers State, you do not want to hear all the indecent things I heard about Rivers girls, but did I believe...No. I wanted to see for myself. I served in Port Harcourt City...they say Rivers girls can do anything for money, they like runs, they do this do not saying that I didn't see all these things in PH, but the thing is that most of the girls who indulge in such were not even from Rivers State.
      People should stop saying and spreading such negative comments, if you are not witness to such abeg. And even if you witness, do not generalize.....

  20. Ejeoc..a trait can be either good or bad. When i typed "i dont possess a single Edo trait" it simply means u cant tell from my character i am an Edo girl. I said "ppl believe i should be wayward" means ppl associate me with the Edo girls stereotype. I din't imply Edo girls are wayward biko. Read well again darlyn

    1. Honeeeyyyy, I read it veryyyy wellll.

    2. Sweedie, read again. This time open ur eyes well

  21. If you are encountering these negative traits in people you associate with, maybe you need to examine yourself. You are what you attract! Proud Ondo/Yoruba/Itsekiri girl.

    1. I dont get how some ppl read and think they understand english!!! I used the word "should" in that sentence meaning some ppl are quick to stereotype jst by hearing your state of origin even b4 they get to even hear or see u.

  22. I agree that northerners are the most honest. When doing business with them your mind is at peace unlike Ibos

    1. I second your thought. When i go to d market here in Abj i feel at peace with these hausa barrow boys carrying my stuff. Unlike warri barrow boys, u have to chain them and the barrow to ur cloth o. If not... Hahaha

  23. I feel one is being parochial when one believes in stereotypes and bases decision making process on such. Don't get me wrong, I believe in profiling which entails an objective assessment of a persons's trait as against stereotyping which involves a prejudicial assessment of the entirety of a person.
    One question - will a person born to a certain place, but lived all his/her life in another place still exhibit the trait of his/her birth place or resident place?
    It is to say the least, parochial to hinge a person's character solely on such person's place.
    Of course, I don't discount the effect of environmental, social and cultural factors on the life and especially childhood of any person but I also believe we finally determine what our character is, who our personality will be, changes we can make to a flawed personality trait.
    The surprising angle to life is that one eventually sees, what one seeks to see. Hence if you seek to see promiscuity, sexual prowress, business acumen, intelligence et al in anyone, you'd eventually see so.
    Just imagine, how beautiful the world would be if we chose to see the right traits..........
    Everyone does have a character flaw which is dependent on enviromental factors amongst other factors, but I do believe that can be worked upon rather than consigning each to a lifetime of a particular character flaw just because one was born in someplace.
    Personally, birthplace for me is only an issue of record and nothing more in my spouse. I have my spouse right with me, in front of me with her complexities, admirable character traits, essence and of course her flaws. Why would I resign those flaws to being immutable cause of some birth place?

  24. Personally, I ve witnessed and can attest to dat of Ndi IMO! No be only mbaise. Dear Lord! May future hubby not have anyfin Imo state in his blood/lineage. It's so bad dat at some points in my earlier years, I used to say..'di burukwa nke Imo, make I park for my papa house' lolz

  25. ROTFL! Wow!
    I've never been one to stereotype people.

  26. Hmmmm, well its not rily good to generalise. but most times it happens just so. i heard Egba men are very promiscious and marry more than one wife , that its part of them. now i have an Egba as fwend. i fit no gree marry am o


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Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Closed Chapter...

Hello everyone, yesterday a friend said to me, Thelma I love your blog, I've told so many people about your blog, I think you're a very good writer but I feel there's something you're not doing right"

This friend was the first person who won our beauty of the day contest back then in 2014. Then we had met just once through a mutual friend. I mentioned the blog to her and she became an instant reader. I wouldn't have exactly called her a friend then but yesterday as we sat down waiting for our Uber to come get us from Wal-Mart, she's definitely my friend and I knew she was coming from a good place when she said she had much higher expectations of my blog.

Me too.

But you see, in the last year or so, maybe even longer than that, I haven't felt much joy in blogging. It began to feel more and more of a laborious chore, one which I hardly reaped any fruits from.

I really love writing, I love sharing my life and my experiences with others and I've enjoy…

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa