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Grocery Shopping- Jay Stan.





Now to my fellow guys wey dey Naija, make I ask una sometin. You remember de last time wey you and ya wife or ya significant oda go market to buy tins. You still remember as she make you carry all de tins wey una buy? You just de follow her for yansh and dey frown ya face like pessin wey lick lime. But you no fit talk anytin because say you no wan hear her mouth.
Hmmmm......, Naija guy go gree follow him woman go market to go hold shopping bag for her? Unto which levels wey dat one go happen? Naija men and dia ego wey big pass dem head, go gree follow dem wife go market or go helep her buy house tins? "A whole Him"!
I remember all dos saturdays wey my mumsi go force my papa to go drop her for market. I remember how ee go take my father like forever to gree to go drop her. And den my popsi go make sure say one of us (de children) go join dem go market. Afta him drop us, him go kuku go sidon for one joint and den wait for us to finish shopping. Den as guy man, him go come bribe us with pepper soup and malt before we go back house.
And den when we come grow to begin drive, my father come take style retire small from de saturday trip to market. To follow my mother go market na serious punishment be dat. She go carry you waka de whole market like two times. Before she go buy anytin, she go price dat tin from like four people before she buy am!
Ee get some saturdays wey everybody go sneak out from house go hide somewhere. Dis na because when she ready to go market, de first person wey she see, na dat person go follow her go market. I come notice say na afta we don eat morning food and come rest small, na dat time she go begin talk about to go market. So my game plan na to rush my food quick quick, den disappear from house before she go begin talk about any market waka, lol.
But here for yankee, ee dey different. For here, men and women dey go shopping. Some women dey even send husband or boyfriend to go market to buy food tins (dem dey call am grocery shopping). No argument, no complain. I don dey supermarket, dey see men dey push shopping basket, as dem madam dey waka for front. Come see as de women dey control de men with dia finger. "Stop here. Turn dis side. Turn around enter here!". Well..., de men go just do as dem madam command dem.
Na some of de tins wey dey make some Naija men for yankee still wan marry Naija woman, lol. Awa sistas, at least most of dem still dey massage dia men ego. Dem still dey go market alone to buy food stuff, come back house and still cook for dem family. Tank God for Naija women. At least pessin like me go still fit......!
No get me wrong oo! Nothing dey wrong for man to follow him woman go market and helep her do her shopping. Ee go make you appreciate ya woman and all de suffer wey she dey go through to manage una house. Times don change well well, and so we men suppose begin change awa mind set too. Stress for here to much, and ee no go dey good for only one pessin dey do all de house work.
My fellow men, you wey dey yankee, make out time go buy food tins sometimes from Walmart or Brookshire's. And if you dey Naija, make you try go dat Mile 1 market sometimes. Dis one no go fall ya hand, infact ee go make ya woman like you well well. And trust me, she go reward you PERSONALLY and PSYCOLOGICALLY!!!

******

Jay Stan is based in Texas USA and is the brains behind the blog http://www.lifeforyankee.blogspot.com/ where he writes about the experiences of Nigerians in the diaspora, most if not all of his writing is done in pidgin English. 



Photo source: www.townnetworks.com

Comments

  1. It's just hilarious!
    But I love the piece. I personally don't like my SO going to the market with me. But the supermarket or any tush place, i'll Love that...

    ReplyDelete
  2. When I was little I also dreaded going to the market with my mum. Meeehhhnn, that woman can price for Africa. 2/3/3.5 hours she's battling with market women and meat sellers. Choi!

    As for the Yankee shopping, that one de happen well well for Shoprite and other top SuperMarts in 9ja.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Reading pidgin isn't my forte...*rubs temple*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too. If it's a one or two sentence, I can manage but for a full write up, I can't.

      Delete
    2. We belong to the same club. This is the first post I'll abandon on TT.

      Delete
  4. Being d first daughter, I needn't be told to
    prepare for market once I c my mum preparing. D more I delay d greater d tendency of her giving me d moni and list to go alone sef. My popsi folo u go market?? #storyfordgods

    ReplyDelete
  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Reading this was hardwork o,am not a pidgin English person
    Nice piece thou

    ReplyDelete
  7. The pidgin English is making my eyes turn,will be back.lol

    ReplyDelete
  8. Like my partner says, is the food not for both of us?

    ww.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. That's my mother for you. Will walk Balogun market looking for 50 kobo difference. I hated market trips with her. But I loved it with father. We'll be done within an hour and he bargained better than mother. He taught me to buy meat; to know different yams and to get a good deal. He didn't bargain back and forth. Just slashed the cost to what it should be and stick to it. I miss my him. It will be 10 years in 2015, since he passed. If he'd survived his illness, he wouldn't have survived boko haram. I don't want to know the pain of murder. He'd get us real groundnut oil. He became friends with those traders. i learned a lot from father. He was loyal, fair, upright and humane.

    Mallama

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. P.S
      Thanks for introducing this blogger to me. He's hilarious. I guess he thinks in pidgin.

      Delete
  10. I think this pricing of market is common with nigerian mothers Lol. I hated going to d market wiv my mum too. My hubby hates taking me to the markt. Says I spend eternity in d market. But he doesn't mind going "grocery shopping but he spends too much on too little.

    ReplyDelete

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