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I didn't Have The Talk. But, I Came Close.





Good morning loverssss!

Funny how I've been posting at this time of the morning of late... My internal clock seems to be working anti-clockwise and my recent activities haven't exactly been helping matters. For instance, yesterday (Friday) was just supposed to be a few minutes of Karaoke, a plan FNLP reminded me of as I pulled up outside her crib, eventually we were there till almost midnight. An interesting turn of events last night, I tell you. But let's leave that gist to marinade for a bit, we'll get back to it someday. 

Saturday wasn't any better! I got home around midnight on Saturday morning, did some work and caught up on social news and before it knew it, it was 2am. I promised myself I'll get at least eight hours of interrupted sleep. Yeah well, Man proposes... God didn't dispose according to my proposal. I was back up by 6am, the day was weird, I really cannot explain how it came and went but it just did. I mean, FNLP came through and I'd needed to brainstorm with her and use her as a sounding board for some plans and ideas, but sleep deprivation made me completely useless. Then we went out in the
afternoon, still. An outing that I cannot seem to explain. Where did time go?

So it's passed 1am right now, I got home some thirty minutes ago and just like I'd promised him I would, I called to let him know I'm home. I rang and he picked and I said "hello, my baby....". It's been long, so long since I said this to a grown man and felt my heart soften, not because I'm calling an agbalagba baby, but because there's this feeling of tenderness in my heart; I care for him as I would a defenseless little child whom I love. We talked for a few minutes and bade each other goodnight. And as I lay my head on my pillow I asked myself; is this real?

Now remember when we did the post (goodbye-miss-subtle ) where I told y'all about my friend who sat her boo down just after he asked her out and told him "Look, at this point in my life I'm not looking for a fling or looking to play games. Any relationship I get into now, I get into with the possibility of marriage as the end game. So Mr _______ if you're not ready for that or you had other things in mind this is the time to say so and retreat. No hard feelings, I will understand". you know, after that talk I'd thought when the time comes for me I would do the same. In my mind I always imagined it would go something like "Bia, nna, we're not kids and I'm not looking for a fling, at this age I'm thinking long term, marriage to be precise. If we're not on the same page then I think you should take a walk, no hard feelings". Hmmmm. I found myself trying time and time again to get these words out of my mouth, to no avail. It's already hard enough saying to him exactly how my day went, how much more to tell him I expect a marriage proposal from him in the foreseeable future?

I just couldn't. 

But, I made sure I defined it, defined us. I made sure I somehow got him to say the words, and just to be sure I looked him in the eyes and said to him, "Please if this is something you're not serious about, leave now. I don't want to develop strong feelings if this is just a game to you". I made sure he understood just how serious and intense the situation is and I was quite satisfied with
the response I got. 

So although I didn't have that talk and I was beating myself up, I came close enough and I'm satisfied with this, for now. 


Comments

  1. Goodmrn T, Happy sunday...you dint have the talk, but u came Close...that's a way to go! Its a good start. Beautiful day ahead TTBers!

    ReplyDelete
  2. U musnt ve the talk dear, the important part is defining the relationship first, with time the talk ll happen naturally. I wish all d best T, i look forward to the day u ll do a post on planning your wedding and how it all went down. Happy sunday everyone. *counting down to my white wedding*

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thumbs up T. Subtle and Direct, and even better than either case. Have a blessed Sunday.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Baby steps T, the small steps eventually make the big leap. Hope this one climaxes to meet your heart desires. Happy Sunday TTB.
    *come to think of it, why is it odd to say Happy Monday, or any other day*

    ReplyDelete
  5. You spoke up. Thats the talk, just your version of it. Please i want an invite to your wedding sha.

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. Shey I said it? A Combination of being subtle & direct works better. Not too fast nor too slow.
    U feel better & he also knows ur stand.
    I wish U all the Best...

    But I'm taking the opposite route in my own life for now!

    ReplyDelete
  7. What do you do when after having the talk and all he says is "ok,thanks."

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thelma has a boyfriend!
    Thelma has a boyfriend!
    Thelma has a boyfriend!
    Lool

    ReplyDelete
  9. That was way more than close to me o,defining what u guys r is a good start. N that talk is enough for any reasonable guy that wants sumtin serious

    ReplyDelete
  10. Awww... why has this post made me mushy naaah? Thelma da bebe!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hmmm, that awkward moment when your trying to have the talk but you don't know how to start

    ReplyDelete

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