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My Husband Is Not My Soulmate.

Do you believe in "soul mates"?

Chris Graham is not my soul mate. He is my husband, my best friend, my lover, my favorite person to talk to, my biggest cheerleader, and my family. But he does not complete me, fill me up, or make my world. 

On her blog Mary Gratham wrote an Article titled "My husband is not my soul mate", and I found this article most interesting. She went ahead to say;

He challenges me, encourages me, and talks me down off cliffs, but he isn’t the end-all-be-all of my world. 

...And I think that idea, that lie we’ve been sold, damages so many relationships, ends marriages, and leaves countless people unhappy when they’ll truly never be happy.

I love my husband. I think he’s pretty awesome or I wouldn’t have married him and had some babies with him. He makes my life more interesting, makes me better, and loves me even when I’m not very lovable (which is a lot of the time). I picked a good one, for sure. And I’m glad he’s in my life.

But if I hadn’t met him, I think my life would still be pretty good. I wasn’t waiting for someone else to come along and rescue me from my horrible existence. I had a good existence before him. I was loved and cared for and fought for by a Father that made me whole in a way no one else could."

Ask me what I found fascinating and liberating about this article and I probably wouldn't be able to say. First off I'm not certain there's such a thing as a soul mate. For many years this haunted me; my soul mate; Who is he? Where is he? Will I ever meet him? What if I don't get married to him? What if I get married and then meet him afterwards? Would I ever be truly happy if he's not the one I'm with?... On and on my mind would wander in turmoil. This concept; a soul mate. 

One day for no reason whatsoever I decided that there's no such thing. I find it hard to believe that God created just one person for just one person, that's there's only one 'The One', that without this one person I wouldn't truly be happy or fulfilled... Quite frankly that's frightening, absurd and almost unfathomable. 

So reading this article, my spirit soared. But reading through the comments on her blog and other blogs it's been posted on I realized that not everyone agrees with this. Some people do believe that 'Soul Mates' exists, that there's that one person for everyone, they have soul mates and they are, or will end up with them... What do you think?


  1. I totally believe in everyone having a soul mate

  2. There is nothing like a soul mate. you can only have age mates, class mates, but soul mates.. mbanu #lol# ok, so someone who loves d SO to the end of d world and back, and calls that person his/her mate, then loses the person, and remarried another amazing person who completes him/her, does it mean the person was created with soul mates??? @ what point is one's soul mate created? Ok what if God has chosen ur baby to be someone's soul mate and you abort the baby??? Kikikikiki. My thoughts are just running wind. Pay no attention to me.

  3. I don't believe in soulmates. I quite agree with mrs Graham. No one holds a monopoly on my emotions.

  4. TTB BVs where una dey? Is it the comment robot that is making you people not to comment? This house is too empty jo

  5. Some are scared to comment, some are to busy to, come are in a wedding Event(trad), some are not experienced enought to comment. Etc.
    Stop thinking abt Soulmates. Find your Man/Woman and make Him/Her your Soulmate.
    Its not Abt finding the 'right one', it is abt finding the One and making Her Right.

  6. Spot on Uyi,u don talk am finish. Its just like saying, if u miss a particular man whom has been destined to be urs,u might not meet another, bull shit yada yada yada. Find a partner and make him or her ur soul mate or Mr or Mrs right.

  7. Thelma, since this new look, anytime I come here, my antivirus tells me threat has been detected. Please check this

  8. Testing again. Bin trying to comment since morning.

  9. Well, ultimately, people should try to be the best that they can be, men and women alike, and not feed into the idea that some one else is needed for them to be better than they already are. You are enough. Also, the way I see it, one person could be compatible with more than one person, meaning there may be more than one potential wife/husband.
    So I don't know about this idea of soul ages. Is it scriptural? I don't know, I probably should search if its mentioned anywhere in the Bible

    1. Soulmates, not Soul ages... Lol @ autocorrect

  10. I quite agree with Mary Graham. Ditto Uyi. People create for themselves a miserable existence searching for a non-existent soulmate. No one should complete or fill you if you love yourself enough.

  11. The only "Soulmate" I know is that hair care product line...

    1. Hahahahahahahaaa! Lawd! I just love sasha!!!! Chai! You're ehn!


    2. Sashaaaa! u ehn? you will never cease to amaze me with your perceptions and opinions. Merry Xams to all!

  12. Soul mate ni.dats lyk 20th century. I used to tink everyone has a 'particular' someone for them until I found that that anyone could be that 'someone' for u..... In other words, I dnt buy the soul mate thingy. #have missed you guys.. Phone ish! Hello T.

  13. I believe in soulmates and I believe my boo is my soulmate

  14. I just think the word soul mate is literary, not soul mate as in ties with another's soul and all that deep stuff.
    But if people choose to see it as such, good for them! I don't just want anyone going mad or suicidal after a heartbreak sha.


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