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The Problem With 'Tapping Into' Someone Else's "Blessings". (A ChrisBrown/Karrauche Analogy).


He had been playfully poking at her sides and laughing, anyone watching them would have seen that she wasn't amused and must have thought her a fastidious bi*ch. Then he whispered into her ear and what followed was most unexpected and shocking. She raised her hand to give him a slap that would have been vicious and extremely painful had her hand not stopped mid-swing. What a terrible girl, how uncouth, how thoughtless, how ungrateful to have such an amazing man in her life and treat him this way!

In the minutes that followed I saw the way they all looked at me, their expressions varied from shock to disbelief, surprise to disapproval, sympathy for him to disdain for me. In that minute everyone around hated me. *Helen came and whispered to me, these words I remember like it just happened this morning. "You don't disrespect your man like that in public, no matter what. You just do not disrespect your man like that in public". And one by one they all walked away from me, he was the first to leave. The girls were shocked; how can she have such a perfect man, a fantastic relationship and be this ungrateful? If she doesn't want she should pass him on biko. 
      And that's the problem with wanting what someone else has; you fail to realize that things are hardly ever as they seem to be. 

I don't want to make this post about me so I won't go into details of that relationship but all I can say is that I'm surprised that the most I did was almost slap him in the presence of his friends and mine. It's a wonder I didn't put rat poison in his coffee or something equally fatal. 

Everyone would have sworn that our relationship was perfect, I can't remember how many times people would tell me how lucky I was to be in that relationship. I remember the day my friend met him for the first time, she sent me a text saying "you're the luckiest bitch in the world!". Who could I tell that I was the most miserable "bi*tch" in the world and that that relationship was ruining me, my self-esteem and my happiness? But people wouldn't understand because when he was outside he spoke about me to anyone and everyone who cared to listen, everywhere he went he spread 'the Gospel of Nwando'; the best thing to happen besides Google. Meanwhile this guy hated me. 

It's for this reason that when the Pastor mounts the pulpit and begins to talk about his wife very effusively with those colourful words, and everyone begins to scream and shout in a frenzy, all the single ladies in the house jump up from their seats because their legs were shaking in excitement and they couldn't sit still anymore, everyone begins to tap into the awesomeness of Pastor's marriage, my friend & blog reader begins to vibrate; Kai, I want to marry, I want this kind of husband, this kind of marriage Oh Lord... And I just sit there with one big *YIMU* on my face... It's because I've learnt that abusers are the biggest cheerleaders of their spouses in public. 
      No, I'm not calling the pastor or anyone an abuser, neither am I saying that everyone who openly expresses love and admiration for their spouse is an abuser... I've just seen too much to not "tap" or "key" into anyone's blessings unless I live under the same roof with them, and even then...

Isn't it funny... Of course Chris Brown and Karrauche aren't the model couple but who woulda thunk it; threesomes, secret trips to Toronto, dates with Drake (who probably also shagged his Ex; Rihanna)... All y'all using other couples as "Relationship Goals" wave your hands in the air. LOL. 

You never know what goes down in some relationships/marriages/homes when you're watching from the outside. All you see is the beautiful package, and then you begin to "tap into" the gift when all that's underneath the beautiful shinny wrapping paper is one big ugly lump of dog poop. 

Oh well...


  1. Looool. Chris Brown sounds pained.

  2. Awwww, poor Chris.everyone keeps thinking he is the bad niggur, meanwhile he has been the victim for so long. Come here Chris bobo, and chop a kiss #lol# I don't tap into anointings, I just admire people and hope for the best for myself. Too many instagram/fake love stories out there. Just be you, and do your thing. I also remember when I broke up with some dude, everyone one thought we were so beautiful together, and felt I was the reason for the breakup cos he was d calm and quiet person while I was the outgoing / troublesome one. Lol. If only they knew. I sha didn't put up a rebuttal, I didn't need all the drama biko.

  3. I have read a book that profiled abusers and they all say that one character they all have is that a charmers outside so thelms I understand what you're saying.

  4. Hmmm. Nobody wants to be the bad person, ah just read karrueche's version on IG and she sounds jus as victimized. Celebrities and there rlshps are full of lies and 'fakeness'. I dnt tap into people's blessings especially in relationships, they should come tap into mine..... So much fakeness everywhere mtchew. #is there even a word like 'fakeness' lol

  5. ALL of them, Chris, Kae, Rihanna, Drake should all go to church please!!!

    I really pity them sha, & i've learnt from them too albeit learning my own lesson the hard way!
    NEVER EVER put ur relationship status out there! Just DONT.
    I'm keeping my next relationship hush hush esp on Social Media till we are 100% sure of marrying in less than 3weeks.
    This disgrace is just TOO much! They can all cry in their bathrooms sha!

  6. The kinda life I live, I never wish for anything someone else have its just my default, rather I pray to God for what I need

  7. @phransea u just spoke my mind. So i will pass the mic on.

  8. I always pray for what's mine not to have something like someone I knw and its d best...we shouldn't focus on what others have cos we dnt knw what's going on inside like T said

  9. Lol,ur shading me abi? FYI,shes back in church and he said to her "girlfriend,i love u with my heart,kidney and liver". (I love their love and I tap into it until they prove otherwise)

  10. Lool grabs popcorn as the drama unfolds lool

  11. No such thing as a perfect relationship. Someone once said" a good wife is a good pretender". Relationships are a reflection of what we invest in them. And of course the 2nd person had to be willing to do the same.

  12. The grass is never greener on the other side. The grass is greener where it's watered. Water your own relationship's grass and it will bloom for you with God's help too. Problem is a lot of us esp ladies always look at other couples, especially well to do or affluent couples and wish we had what the lady has. My sister is case in point in a bad marriage for almost 20 odd years, wealthy husband but no peace of mind or respect for her either. He never supported her to fulfill any of her dreams, has crushed her spirit. I learnt quite early on never to envy what others have or you think they have. Been married almost 16years now and that hasn't failed me. We've had periods of plenty and periods of intense need, but we are happy because I am satisfied and do not use anyone else's relationship as a yardstick for mine. Like the Bible says, I have learnt in whatever state I find myself to be content...For the singles out there getting understandably worried with all the horror stories of bad marriages, there are many good relationships out there. Start by wanting to be the best person you can be for you. If each partner brings that to the table, the only way to go from there is up.... OJ

  13. Wishing for other people's lifestyle isn't just me.i always just want mine God's way

  14. I agree with Ruth on this one completely...even my sisters complain about how I hush my relationship....we have been dating and then started courting for almost 2 yrs now and its on Dec 1st 2014 i used our pix as watsapp dp with his face partly showing...lolzzz...its usually better to shield it from the general public, let it grow and if it doesnt wont have much explanations to make and when it go 'we thank God o na so we see, hmmmm'...lolzzz....besides let people also use MY own relationship as a point of contact, its not a bad idea....#JoyDaNuGirl


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