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The Things We Do For Friends, And Their Husbands...

Ok, this is presently happening in my friends' lives, and I'll like for you to weigh in.
*Chioma and *Nancy are both married and live not too far from each other. We're all in the same age group. Chioma is a stay at home mum who runs a business from home, Nancy had been searching for work for over two years and finally found one with a bank. She had to go to Abuja for a six months training program. 

While in Abuja her hubby began to complain that he was tired of eating out. Initially Nancy used to come home during the weekends to make food that would last him the whole week but soon this stopped being feasible. To take care of her husband's food issues she asked Chioma to help cook for her hubby once a week. Chioma is naturally very nice, to a fault sometimes, and also a fantastic cook! So once a week Nancy would send Chioma some money for the foodstuff and Chioma would make a variety of soups (about three) and jollof rice, fried rice or stew. Occasionally when she took the food over she'd find the house and/or the kitchen in a very unkempt state, so Chioma as the onye obi oma (good person *rme*) that she is, she'd clean up and put the place in order. 

Nancy's husband stopped complaining. 

Soon the six months came to an end and now Nancy is back home but there's a problem. Hubby has refused to eat her food and insists on Chioma making their food. When she insists they eat her own meals he would complain from the minute he starts eating till he's done. He's constantly comparing her cooking to that of Chioma's and sometimes says she should just let Chioma cook for them, seeing as she herself doesn't mind.

Of course Nancy couldn't tell Chioma all this, it's quite shameful, no? So when Nancy's husband went to Chioma's home himself and gave her some money to cook for them (or just him), Chioma had no idea that Nancy didn't know about this. The happy chef therefore set to work and took the meals over to her friend's home. 

This led to a lot of friction between all the parties involved and Nancy blew a fuse in her home. In response, her husband said it was ".. 'just food', why is Nancy taking it so seriously?". Nancy insisted that since it's "just food" then why doesn't he just eat hers. Hubby then said that Chioma cooked better, besides she was very domesticated as she never left the house in an untidy state, if that's how she met it, unlike Nancy. 

Now this was the first Nancy was hearing of Chioma cleaning up her home and helping hubby tidy up. Of course Nancy lost her cool, went to Chioma's house and heaped every possible abuse she could find in her vocabulary, in the presence Chioma's daughter and her maid.
      Nancy is really upset because all Chioma was meant to do was help her cook, she also says that she never meant for Chioma to be taking the food to her place but for her hubby to always go and pick it up. Now not only did Chioma choose to take the food there herself, she also took the liberties in doing home chores nobody asked her to do. 

When Chioma first told me about this several months ago I told her I couldn't fathom why Nancy would ask her to cook for her husband, isn't there a limit to what (close friends) should do for each other? Back then I was sounding like a hater, now the story haff change. Nancy is very unhappy and saying some not so nice things about Chioma. Chioma insists that she was only trying to help out because she felt bad whenever she went over and saw that the house was dirty, ALSO Nancy never told her that she shouldn't take the food over when she was done cooking, and she really didn't think she was doing anything wrong. Meanwhile Nancy's hubby is still craving Chioma's egusi and onugbu soup and dry peppered stew. 


Who do you think went wrong in all this?


  1. Oghene. Everybody is wrong here.

    Nancy: "..Chioma..never left the house in an untidy state, if that's how she met it, unlike Nancy..". Too bad of her. And when this was revealed to her in the heat of argument, what did she do? Attack a helping friend. Smh.

    Chioma: In this time and age, you're cleaning up the matrimonial home of a friend? Didn't she realize how dangerous and crazy that was? Some people need to be Y2K compliant.

    Oko Nancy: Shebi it's just food? Ehe, eat your wife's own na. He wasn't complaining for two years and getting fat on Nancy's pudding till Abuja called. Now "it's just food". Who's food? Chioma's...with a figure to die for probably(?). Hmmm...

  2. Pls,i wld like to know the part two of this story. Keep us (me esp) posted! Thank you...
    All I wld say is: Nancy shld learn a recipe or two from Chioma.

  3. Nancy and her husband both have problems. Chioma should report the incidence to her own husband and he should communicate with Nancy's husband that he is no longer welcome to his wife's cooking. Nancy should face her home.
    Chioma needs to learn to say no, it will save her a lot of drama in the future. Matter of fact if she is so inclined she can start a catering and cleaning business and not be doing stuff for ingrates for free.

    1. Seconded! Miss pynk you said it all! Right judgement.

  4. The things we let guys do. So now you are comparing your wife with her friend and it's ok. God will judge you. Under no circumstances should Nancy take this out on Chioma, she was helping out even if she crossed the boundry na you put infested wood for your house why won't ants visit you. She would have been firm from the get go with hubby. It's six months training not six years. Why is it that women sacrifice more in marriage than guys? If hubby lost his job everyone will tell the woman to manage but the guy cannot manage just for the duration of training ok o. J

  5. So the husband could not manage cooking his own food for 6 months..why exactly do pple marry useless men.

  6. The problem started when Nancy asked Chioma to cook for her husband,there's a limit to what friends shuld do for you cos most times in situations like this it ends up in the relationship going sour
    N sincce its just food the man just eat his wife's food Jor
    In this age n time pple shuldnt do this abeg

  7. Like, seriously?
    To not seem to go for the woman whenever things go awry, I'll start with the hubby of the banker lady- does he not know that there are certain aspects of a woman's life you ought to be diplomatic about?
    Your wife can't cook ( a discovery you made after her friend - whom she was charitable enough to have cook for you in her absence - cooked for you) so instead of looking for a diplomatic way of communicating this to her as well as leaving an open option of your wife, perhaps, taking lessons from madam obi oma - whilst you watch out for any hurt feelings as well as being speedily ready to assuage those- you just begin to nag (all of a sudden) about her ineptitude - if she compared with other guys in some respects eg your ability to make love or whatever ( based on what she's seen/heard/read on blogs perhaps), you'd panic and cry foul.

    Then, as for the lady banker, no matter who obi oma lady is to you and no matter how nice, how dare you ALLOW any other woman COOK for YOUR HUSBAND? The one he ate outside na mistake but for you to encourage, all I can say is, " that ain't right girl".
    Merry Xmas everyone.

  8. Hmmm....story sounds really familiar, with a little twist though. is that what really happened?

  9. Nancy did no wrong by asking Chioma to help her out, but the way she's handling the issue no is bad, very bad. Why the abuses na? Na wa to her o!

    Chioma should have stopped at cooking, see as her charity work dey cause trouble for person house now, she should communicate it to her husband before it gets out of hand.

    Oko Nancy is the problem here, he should go back to eating his wife's food before Oko Chioma takes it out on him. What's his problem na? Hian!

  10. This story is making me laugh sha...orishirishi.
    I hope Chioma's husband knows about this drama. Chioma should cut off from her friend's husband. I don't think she did anything wrong cleaning the house; it's just goodwill gesture, especially if she's honest Nancy didn't say not to deliver at her home, which I doubt Nancy did. (she can't see something wrong with that, if she'd allow her cook for weeks).
    I just think Nancy is kinda jealous of her friend and also angry at her husband, of course it's easier to blame the outsider, who's seemingly soft. Nancy had better apologise and learn a skill or two; obviously 2 at least.
    Nancy's husband is a fish.

  11. Mehn... This matter get plenty K leg..

    All of them are wrong in some ways.. but ultimately, Mr. Oko Nancy is just one big baby. Immature someborry! Your wife of 2 years went away for six months, she contracted her MARRIED friend to come and cook for you because you couldn't survive for six months (how did you live b4 u got married sef? ) Now the six months training is over, dear wife is back and you're pining overy your wife's MARRIED friend's food? What did u honestly think would happen?
    If you dont like her cooking, get dear wife to take lessons or worst case scenario, employ an olopo to cook for you once a week. Better still, get a chef! And while you're at it, get a maid too!

    Nancy... mstchew... where to even start sef...
    you were in trouble, you needed help and reached out to your friend who has her own family to cater for, to please add your own family to her own. If it was so easy and not that much of a big deal, why didn't you do it urself or get your sister or cousin to come cook regularly for your husband?
    She did that and did oversabi, instead of looking inward and learning a lesson or two from what your husband told you, you picked a fight. You didn't now have the common sense to do it discreetly, you had to display your immaturity in the presence of her daughter and her maid... SMH
    She did you a favour! If you think she overstepped, call her and tell her civilly.

    Mrs. Goody-too-shoes, it is where they put a body that it stays. Cook, you cook. You don't add housekeeping services to it. If you like housekeeping so much, set up a business like Miss Pynk suggested. Plus you don't say yes to every favour asked. Human beings are very funny. Why will you accept to be cooking for a married man and then dropping it off at his house? That's first of all very one kind. If they accuse you guys of having an affair what will you say? You now took your "goodness" higher by rendering free housekeeping services.
    I think you need a job. It doesn't have to be a nine to five but something close cos it seems like you have a lot of time on yr hands. Better still, start that business! So ungrateful friends like madam Nancy dont keep taking advantage of you

  12. How old are these girls? Sense comes with age. They must have missed something along the way. Have they not heard that na from clap dance dey start. Hopefully, they'll learn something from this.

  13. Miss pynk nailed it for me, chioma has done no wrong to her friend, cleaning the house was done with no strings attached. Which friends do for friends. Months back, when a supposed friend of mine was pregnant, I would leave for her place on saturdays, immediatly her hubby steps out and help her out with the cleaning and tidying. She always wanted her man to know I did the cleaning and cooking, but I objected. She had to tell the man against my will and the rest is history. They were more than grateful for the help. I stopped when they hired a cook.
    Nancy should apologise for recompensing good for abuses...please tell her to drop pride, she needs to learn 2skills.

    1. And where have you been? Hope you are good?

  14. Women when will you learn. I trust my friends but I will not ask anybody to cook for my husband. Na from clap them dey take enter dance. Enough said.

  15. Enough has been said already on who went wrong in what area, so i'll pass on that.
    I totally don't get the whole "Nancy needs to learn some skills" part.... the post tells me the husband is the one that's dirty and unable to cook so how come it's Nancy that learns the skills to correct that? All I think she needs is wisdom and the attitude of gratitude.

    Ain't turning up anywhere jare. I'm home alone, and having stuffed myself with too much food, i'll just watch movies till I doze off. Merry Christmas Everyone!!! Laugh, love, live!

    1. This bestie of mine just spoke my mind concerning the post.

  16. "the post tells me the husband is the one that's dirty and unable to cook..." ===> That's just the TRUTH.

  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

  18. This is one of the reasons, if not the main reason I don't cook when I'm stay with someone. I don't want the man of the house comparing my cooking with his wife thus creating trouble between them. I will help make ready the ingredients and thew madam will do the cooking. As for me, Nancy is the primary "causer" and her husband the secondary "causer". This goes to all them do good ladies, learn to say NO at times to avoid stories that touch! The husband is tidy and lazy.

  19. The bitter truth is that Nancy is married to a very Unreasonable and 'stupid' man as a husband. He caused it first by nt being able to cook for himself for just 6 months and then added insult to injury wen he compared his wife's cooking to that of her friend's. Nancy should just apologise to Chioma (who should also desist frm cooking for him no matter what) and let her husband continue in his confusion (cos I really thing he is a confused human being)! Haba!! This story just got me annoyed! Phew.....tink I feel better after writing this.


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