Skip to main content

What Should I Know About Marrying a Divorcee?

So I met someone recently and just as we were hitting it off he admitted to having a teenage child from a previous marriage. I've never been adverse to divorcees but for certain personal reasons I've always thought I'd pass up on proposals I'd get from one. Yet I gave it some serious thought recently and I realized that if I should meet someone who checks most of my DH boxes I'll go for it, even if he's been married before. 

Not long after this honest internal monologue, I had a conversation with a blog reader on the same issue. Her boo is in his late thirties, a father of two kids and has been married. She says she's certain the divorce is final, he has shown her the papers and everything. However she still has her reservations so we decided to post this and hear from others, especially those who have been in this situation. 

We found ourselves asking questions like:

-Are there any advantages in marrying someone who's never been married before over marrying a divorcee, and vice versa?
-Is there any stigma attached to marrying a divorcee?
-What challenges is a person marrying/married to a divorcee likely to face? (Emotional baggage, constant comparisons, insecurity, lack of attention etc)
-And generally what advice would you give to someone getting married to a divorcee, what can they expect?

One more thing I'd like to know is the attitude of parents when a daughter brings home a suitor and he has once been married. Has anyone been in this situation before? Were your parents indifferent and accepting, or was the divorce a deal breaker?

This is one topic I know little or nothing about and I'm curious to hear what you have to say. 

Ps: the title of this post is (admittedly) click-bait. I'm neither currently dating or considering getting married to a particular divorcee. 


  1. I'll just speak from the woman angle. Divorced men find it easier re-marrying than divorced women. There's more stigma attached to a divorced woman than man. It takes a man who can stand his ground to marry a divorced woman (with kid{s}) in Nig society.

  2. What you should know first of all is to ensure that he is properly divorced, this is a mistake many people make. And investigation is very important, finding out the cause of the divorce is very crucial to your own marriage.

  3. It depends on the two people involved and the issues that happened in their past marriage(s) but most times divorcees relate with their new partners based on their past experiences which in most cases could be detrimental to d new relationship/marriage. U meet some singles guys and they turn out 2 be d devil himself and then meet a divocees who is loving, responsible,adores u, dedicated and respects u more than any single guy would ppprobably bcoz of d experiences he has garnered 4rm previous marriage.. So it really boils down to the individual involved.

    U also need 2 make enquiry in2 their last marriage, what actually went wrong (4 ur own good) and also if u are d type dt works strictly with d bible passage that says once u r married u cannot divorce on any grounds cept 4 infidelity,(adultery).
    U should also be ready 2 take and love any kids gotten 4rm their previous marriages as ur's, coz love is all about tolerating each other.

    1. U said most of my thoughts so i'll leave it at that...

  4. You know that passage in the bible that says if you marry a divorced person you are committing adultery with the said person? This is my personal reason why I would not be consider a divorcee. For anyone giving it a thought, make sure the divorce is finalized and find out the root cause of the the divorce. J

    1. I'm with u on the biblical injunction.

  5. Hmmmm, ok first of all marriage is particularly no different from committed relationships, if u say the person ll constantly compare the new marriage to d old one, its only normal cos we act out in life based on experiences, be it marriage or relationships. Truth is wat we experienced in any failed relationship is a lesson and we should not let that repeat itself. On the issue of marrying a divorcee, most loved ones are not very acceptive of it, but it should not be the first thing u present to your family cos it only sets off a negative alarm, allow them to get to know him/her, experience the good sides and inner beauty of the person so that if they eventually hear about the divorce, they wont be quick to judge the person. Am speaking based on personal experience though.

  6. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    1. Sorry for the KABUOY thingy Lol but really need advice. I had to go anonymous.

  7. 1.If there is any advantage marrying a divorcee? Yes to an extent. Being that he/she now has an experience of what being married is like and how to handle certain situations when it arises.( This is subject to the individual because some people never learn).

    2.Well I don't know about stigma or no stigma. As long as one is ok with it,then people's opinion don't count. Some families don't care as long as you take of and cater for their daughter/son very well.

    3.Likely challenges includes but not limited to: ex-spouse interference,kids dislike for you,family members who likes the ex-spouse frustrating you,spouse comparing you with ex,conflicting ideas on how to raise the kids(you might be reminded you are not the parent when this issue arises).

    4.My advice to anybody marrying a divorcee:
    a) Know the reason behind the divorce. If you can handle it then by all means go ahead but if not, leave him/her for someone who can.
    b) Have lots of patience,you will need it when external interference and other issues especially relating to the child(ren) comes up.
    c) Be prepared for anything and know how you would handle them in a matured manner.
    d) Take a cue from why the first marriage ended and see if you could avoid making the same mistakes in yours.



Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…


Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Closed Chapter...

Hello everyone, yesterday a friend said to me, Thelma I love your blog, I've told so many people about your blog, I think you're a very good writer but I feel there's something you're not doing right"

This friend was the first person who won our beauty of the day contest back then in 2014. Then we had met just once through a mutual friend. I mentioned the blog to her and she became an instant reader. I wouldn't have exactly called her a friend then but yesterday as we sat down waiting for our Uber to come get us from Wal-Mart, she's definitely my friend and I knew she was coming from a good place when she said she had much higher expectations of my blog.

Me too.

But you see, in the last year or so, maybe even longer than that, I haven't felt much joy in blogging. It began to feel more and more of a laborious chore, one which I hardly reaped any fruits from.

I really love writing, I love sharing my life and my experiences with others and I've enjoy…

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa