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Who Will Attend My Wedding?

This has been on my mind for as long as I can remember. I think about it with panic in my chest.
All you ladies, especially those of you whose weddings I had to leave town for, particularly traditional marriages in the thick of villages that do not appear on the Nigerian map, when my turn comes I will not hear "my baby isn't feeling too well", "my husband said I can't travel now", "I can't travel and leave the children", "I can't travel with the children", "I can't come, let me send you money" (the money will still be welcome sha), "I was planning to come but baby just started stooling" etc. I will not hear it o!!!

I'm already seeing how all y'all whose weddings we travelled to attend are not attending the weddings of those who risked all and shunned all and gave all to attend your traditional marriages. Yes YOU(s). 

Yes, that's what this post is about; my traditional wedding and those in attendance. Yes, it does bother me that with all my friends married, save a few, very few, who might pre-wed me, I worry that I'd have no friend to attend my igba-nkwu. I worry that I will have to do my first dance alone and not with numerous damsels dancing ahead of me, ushering me in, I worry that I would have to beg some distant relatives who I barely speak to to do the things that my friends would have otherwise done and I worry that on that day people will say "ahn ahn, she has no friends?", AND I worry the most that seeing as these friends are absent and I'd have to get virtual strangers to be my friends for the day, these non-friends will cart away half or more of the more I'm sprayed while dancing my egwu-Owerri. 

Yes, I have so many worries. Strangely, these worries outweigh the worry of finding (or being found by?) an actual husband... Priorities Nwando, priorities

So all y'all Osayi, Yoko, Chocolate, Adaobi, Ngozi, Oge, Ella and the others whose traditional marriages I went to remote villages devoid of gsm network and Cold Stone outlets to attend, I will not hear any story when the time comes. 

Ok o!!!! 

Let it be known, let it be put on record that I said this. 

I'm out.




  1. Lol. I thought I was the only person thinking this thing. The truth is that the older we get the busier we become.

  2. Lols,they just got ur memo darl (but it's not dated)

  3. I'll attend, don't worry. Your Agulu fans will too. You have a lot if friends, you just don't know us yet...dasall��

  4. I luv to attend weddings too. I fear for me too. Dont even know who will be my CBM dat day sef.

  5. It all depends,my dia no stress ur self joor if they don't show more rice hopefully I will be around and finally meet u

  6. Me i'd really love to come for your wedding o Thelma.

  7. Thelma, who amongst them commenters is Osayi plz?
    My only Edo/Bini co-commenter.

    1. Come o, this Uniben boy, who told you that you are the only Edo person commenting on this blog?

      Abeg pack well.

      I represent Edo.....Uniben Schooled......Oya let the search begin.....Lol

    2. Lmao! And how did you know I studied in Uniben? FBI in TTB

    3. Uyi don't look for Osayi here o! She's my closest friend but it's like a Bini god told her not to read TTB or something.

    4. Edo state Reps?......Present peeps!....maybe Thelma should do a post of how many yourubas...igbos and hausa's are ably represented on this Honourable platform...lolzzz...cos truly one would be shocked at how much ethnic diversity is being poured out on this blog like seriosly!...all in favour say 'aye'........#aaaaaaayeeeee# ......the 'ayes' have it....did i spell aye correctly? heeeey!........ #JoyDaNuGirl

    5. "Thelma should do a post of how many yourubas...igbos and hausa's are ably represented on this Honourable platform...lolzzz...cos truly one would be shocked at how much ethnic diversity is being poured out on this blog like seriosly"
      Joy! Joy!!! Joy!!!! How many times did i call you, Nigeria has more ethnic groups than you can count o and they speak neither igbo, yoruba or hausa. Take note!!

  8. GhenGhen!! 'Ndo have vex! Lol! Don't worry boo, I will come inugo!

  9. Lwkm... Don't worry T, they ll certainly come. @ Anonymous 9:42pm, #agulu fans? Why do I strongly tink I know u.

  10. Oh T (in my too busy voice), sorry I won't be able to make it cus i'll be attending a Seminar in Antarctica on that day. Kindly manage this $20,000 to make Ugba for your in-laws.
    20grand dols is no joke. Nwando, if I give you that, even if I don't come for baby's naming ceremony, as soon as u remember the cash I gave u as ur wedding gift, u will forgive me sharply.
    Anyway, the people dat will cry blue murder if you don't attend their functions, are the ones with the silliest excuses when it comes to yours.

  11. Lol T, we have had this convo before, i told you that you'll make new friends before then, even now too....such is life. 20 friends cant play for 20 years.

  12. If your old friends don't attend,your new friends will.

  13. Tokin abt agulu 1 f dem.wer goina attend k thelma.sugarvie i c u....

  14. I thought about it too prior to my wedding. Most of the friends I thought would be there didn't make it. Thank God for sisters and my cousin's girlfriends that rallied round me.

  15. Thelma, biko white wedding gats to be in Lagos o.

  16. Thelma, biko white wedding gats to be in Lagos o.

  17. Lol...dnt worry the new and unmarried will attend if the married ones don't

  18. My name is Cynthia and my ex-boyfriend dumped me 8 months ago after I caught him of having an affair with someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me. I was so confuse and don't know what to do, so I visited the INTERNET for help and I saw a testimony on how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problems to him..... he cast a spell for me and assure me of 3 days that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my peter came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again thank you Dr OHEHE spell caster, you are truly talented and gifted contact his

  19. My name is George Wacuka and I`m happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she did not love me anymore So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.{}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next two days what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Within 48hours, So surprisingly, my wife who did not call me for the past seven months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same email address {},if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. Thanks to Dr Ohehe for his help.

  20. I am Mrs Sharon Williams from USA, i want to share a testimony of my life to every one. i was married to my husband Collins William, i love him so much we have been married for 5 years now with two kids. when he went for a vacation to France he meant a lady called Marys, he told me that he is no longer interested in the marriage any more. i was so confuse and seeking for help, i don’t know what to do until I met my friend miss Lina and told her about my problem. she told me not to worry about it that she had a similar problem before and introduce me to a man called Love Magic who cast a spell on her ex and bring him back to her after 2days. Miss Lina ask me to contact Dr OHEHE. I contacted him to help me bring back my husband and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods of his fore-fathers will fight for me. He told me by two days he will re-unite me and my husband together. After two day my husband called and told me he is coming back to sought out things with me, I was surprise and very happy to see him coming back to me, I really appreciate and thank Dr Love Magic for bring my husband back to me, if you also having the same problem as i do before you can contact him through his Via email Address :, thanks Sharon

  21. I've asked myself that question over and over again.


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