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Wednesday, 30 April 2014

Mrs Working Mum versus Mrs Housewife. (The Ongoing Debate).



Last week and this week there has been arguments on different platforms, blogs and forai both locally and internationally on the Working Mother vs House Wife (stay at home mum). Though I took a keen interest to it I didn't think I was going to do a post on it until I saw a comment -F made on the HERE  post.

I briefly listened in on Wana Udobang's show (on 92.3 Inspiration fm) where she discussed this topic some days ago. As usual several people called in, both Working Mums and Housewives. This is what I gathered from the calls: 

Thelma Asks...


Is it ok to give your boo an ultimatum for marriage?



Relationship experts advise that when you've dated someone for a while, a reasonable period of time (I know "reasonable" period could be relative though), you both are adults and everything is fine both in your finances and in your relationship, but this person has not said anything about taking your relationship to the next level then it's time to have the "Where is this going?" talk. 

All very true and sensible actually. But what happens when you've had the talk and he assures you that he wants to be with you, have a future with you, spend the rest of his life with you etc yet he is yet to make any concrete moves towards this, does it become ok for the lady to say "if you've not put a ring on it by this time next year our relationship is over." ?

Tuesday, 29 April 2014

My Naked Thoughts. (I Need, I Wish, I Miss...)




 These things I'm often afraid to say ..... So for a moment I'm going to let loose and breathe and admit that there are things I miss, things I need, things I wish.
For a moment I'm going to take off my mask of bravery and sangfroid and just be me; the one who needs, who's vulnerable, who wishes, who misses. 

I need, I wish, I miss going to bed next to you, my lips soft and raw from the hungry kisses which yours just left. Holding tightly to you as you plant a kiss on my forehead, me drifting away giving us space to sleep free, yet my legs still touching yours, your fingers gently upon mine, some part of us always intertwined. 

I need, I wish, I miss waking up next to you and holding tightly still, the way my heart feels, the joy that even your morning breathe cannot kill. The warm kisses your hot breathe leaves upon mine. Knowing time has come to part, knowing still tonight we'll reconvene, knowing there's no doubting that. 

I need, I wish, I miss calling you and saying "oh Lordy my boss is a prick" and you'll smile and say "sorry babe, should I come over and give him a kick?" And then I burst into laughter and pray the day to go faster, so I can get back to you my "happy ever after". I miss you calling me just to hear my voice,   Just to say "I love you" and I'm reminded again why among millions you're my first choice.

Going To Bed With A Heavy Heart...




I first noticed that I have a delayed response to things when I first saw the 9/11 pictures. I saw it in class and looked at it as I would my English text book. Forgot about it, crossed over to the hostels, went for my meal, went for siesta and then suddenly broke down in tears. I remember how my dorm girls gathered around me like I had just received some bad news from home, many could not understand it when they heard its because I saw some pictures, in fact I'm sure they didn't believe it. 

Tonight I watched Love Lounge with Oreka Godis, Dr Lanre Olusola and another host. The topic was abuse but this time they delved into a form of abuse we don't often hear about or speak about enough. Sexual abuse in children. Abuse by their peers, abuse by their parents, abuse by their relatives, abuse by their care givers, and anyone else imaginable. I watched it as I would anything on TV but on getting to bed my heart is suddenly heavy and there's a lump in my throat as I remember some of the stories:

Dr Lanre Olusola read out letters from children as young as 7yrs of age who are presently being sexually abused at home. One 7yr old wrote him saying that he caught his father having sex with the maid and his father has been begging him not to tell his mum, and while still dealing with that the maid has started touching him and fondling his privates. So now he does not know what to do.

Monday, 28 April 2014

I Look Down On Young Women With Husbands And Kids, And I'm Not Sorry.



Do people really think that a stay at home mom is really on equal footing with a woman who works and takes care of herself? There’s no way those two things are the same. It’s hard for me to believe it’s not just verbally placating these people so they don’t get in trouble with the mommy bloggers.
Having kids and getting married are considered life milestones. We have baby showers and wedding parties as if it’s a huge accomplishment and cause for celebration to be able to get knocked up or find someone to walk down the aisle with. These aren’t accomplishments, they are actually super easy tasks, literally anyone can do them. They are the most common thing, ever, in the history of the world. They are, by definition, average. And here’s the thing, why on earth are we settling for average?

Do You Think This Child-Rapist And Killer Got What He Deserved?




A Brazilian jiu-jitsu instructor named Daryell Dickson Meneses Xavier was reportedly beaten and raped by 20 men after he was locked up for allegedly killing and possibly raping his girlfriend's 1year 11 months old son (pictured with him above) in Taguatinga, suburb of Brasilia, Brazil in Sept 2013.

According to local media, trouble started for the man after his girlfriend left him alone with her son. A few hours later, he called his girlfriend claiming the boy fell and was having seizures. The child was rushed to the hospital and died two days later. Doctors who didn't believe the boy fell called the police and told them they suspected foul play because the injuries on the boy wasn't consistent with a fall but with blunt trauma, and also said possible sexual abuse was involved.
Doctors concluded there was blunt trauma and that the child also had a fissure in the anus. Fissure could come from sexual abuse or constipation but the boy's mum said he didn't have constipation.

Daryell was immediately arrested and charged with abusing and killing the boy, an accusation he 
vehemently denied. Then he went to prison and other prisoners who had heard what he did, came for him. (See the anus area in second pic above?)

Continue:

Happy Monday Y'All

 I used to be the sort of person that hates hearing things like happy Monday. Happy Tuesday. Happy etc. but I really do wish everyone happiness this Monday morning. 



These are words I feel should be chewed on as we begin a new week. 


To the Anon that won't leave my Ruthy alone. I want to believe it's all in good fun, but when it begins to border on bullying then I have to say something. Ruth (and every commenter) means a lot to me and my blog, I won't be happy to lose one. So please if anybody's comments upset you so much just try, (na beg I dey beg) and ignore. 

So yes, I wish us all HAPPINESS and FULFILLMENT in all areas of our lives.  


Sunday, 27 April 2014

Divorce Shouldn't Be An Option. But When You're Married To A Beast LikeJohn, Make It One.

I'm about to tell a story I have no business telling. It's not my story to tell so personal details have been changed or obscured.




Her name is *Princess. Princess is my age mate (29). Princess was born into a wealthy family. She attended the best private schools and after secondary school she left for the UK where she did her University and Masters. After her Masters she returned to Lagos. Her family lives in Banana Island. She has lived in Ikoyi all her life and her circle belongs to the upper class. A life of Exclusive clubs, extravagant spending and lavish living. Princess met John in January, in April they got married, four months after meeting. 

His name is John. John was born into the lower class. He was born in a rural area and lived there for several years before his family relocated to Lagos, Ejigbo to be precise, where he lived in a three bedroom flat with his parents and eight siblings until he met Princess. 

Now I don't know how Princess and John met, I've never asked. When I met them so many questions ran through my mind. What was Princess doing with John? Was she desperate? She was 27/28 when they got married, too young to be desperate, in my opinion (I may be wrong as some of my friends got married at that age out of desperation). Yes she's not very pretty but she's not ugly either so that can't account for it. How come her parents allowed her marry someone from such a background? How come she couldn't meet and marry someone from within her circle? What did she see in John? WHY DID SHE MARRY JOHN?

Everything was smooth and rosy during the brief period of courtship. It wasn't till the wedding night that Princess realized that she don enter one chance.

Blog Visitor Shares Her Story Of Abuse, Heartbreak, Pain and finallyJUBILATION!







Ok I will give u my story. I met a bastard few year ago about 2011. Dude chased me and I pointedly said I have no interest in marriage. At 17 my ovaries shut down and refused to function. The story of my life would likely be egg donor, ivf. I am a realist. I told this fool that. Pretty much as to why I didnt want a relationship of any sort. I was facing my career. I was 29 at this point. This man cried and begged and told me how he wanted to be married etc. The day he even introduced me to his nasty mother she rolled her eyes at me. And I jusy chucked it up. By the summer 2 days to my30th birthday, this dude said he couldnt continue with the relationship as he was 36 and didnt want to marry a barren person. Now keep in mind dude was not fully able to fend for himself and would loan money from me and pay back one or 2 months later. I cried my eyes out and asked him why he made promises he couldn't keep. Anyways he said he was leaving. On the morning of my birthday he begged to take me out. I was low and somehow I ended up agreeing. It was the worst birthday of my 
life. This fool decided he wanted to come back, I said no. After about a month of begging we got back in july. You know by october this fool repeated the same thing. I lost it and had a nervous breakdown. I simply told him to get lost. He begged, his mother begged me. And she even offered to pay for it. He told me in october to go and get pregnant and prove I can have a child before he married me. 

Thelma Asks...


Happy Sunday Fam! 




So my question is this; which would you pick, job fulfillment or higher pay?

Maybe I should rephrase it and say:

Will you pick a job that avails you little fulfillment and a high pay package?
OR
A job that gives you maximum fulfillment and a low pay package?

#Bringbackthegirls. Other Boko Haram Victims Narrate Ordeal As SexSlaves

I was literally left speechless after reading this. 




Almost daily, one hears of insurgents claiming lives, destroying properties and kidnapping of women and girls in parts of north- eastern Nigeria. Some victims have lived to talk about their ordeals, many have not. But what actually happens to the female folk in the hands of their abductors? The silent agonies, pains and tribulation some of our women and girls pass through in the hands of the Boko Haram has, until now only been left to the imagination. KAREEM HARUNA, Maiduguri writes. 

It was the last week of January; Salma Abubakar (not her real names) had finished her transaction in one of the frontline banks in Maiduguri, capital of Nigeria’s most volatile state, Borno. All she needed to do, before she stepped out of the banking hall, was to drop a copy of her transaction teller in the designated box. But someone attracted her attention.
She had to pause and look again. Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine she would ever see that face again. She carefully walked towards the 26-year-old who was standing in a queue waiting to be attended by the cashier.

Salma, 43, could not believe her eyes, and in order not to let the only moment she had so much longed for to escape her, she at once pounced on the young man, holding him by the collar of his shirt with both hands and shouting, “He is the one, he is the one! God will punish you, you will rot in hell!”

Everyone one at the banking hall was left confused, as the security operatives there struggled to release the young man from the strangle hold of the woman, who was still screaming.

When Salma, still clutching the shirt of the young man, finally regained her breath, she said “this young man here was part of the group that kidnapped me and other women to the bush; and this particular boy forcefully slept with me more than ten times; he used me like a dog; God will never forgive him. Please don’t let him go; he must die”.

Saturday, 26 April 2014

Kisses, Wishes And Fairytale Moments.


If you haven't seen pictures from Tiwa & Teebillz wedding then you obviously live under a rock! I kept wondering what was going through the bride's mind as I looked at all the pictures. She looks so insanely happy. *tongue out* to all the nay-sayers getting a heart attack because they had their wedding in Dubai. The couple did what the couple wants and that's all that matters. 

HML to the couple. 

But look what else I found. 


Special Assistant (Youths and Grassroots Sports) to the Sports Minister, Ohimai Godwin Amaize, popularly known as Mr Fix Nigeria, wedded his heartthrob Tessy Oliseh, the younger sister of former Super Eagles captain, Sunday Oliseh, today.

Have you seen a weirder looking wedding cake? This looks like a prop from Amadioha's shrine in a Nollywood movie. Scary. (But err, just like Tiwa and Teebillz the couple did what they like.... That's if they actually like this cake. Hia!) 

HML to Ohimai and Tessy. 

.....

And I found something else. My fav. Nigerian couple!!! It's not secret that I'm Toolz' biggest fan. I just love her and the Captain together, I think they make a really sweet couple and I'm rooting for them to take their relationship to the next level. I would so love to see Toolz in a wedding dress. (A little bird whispered that this is in the works..... Little bird is not a "reliable source" by the way). 


......

I've had a pretty hectic day. Left home in the morning and got back just a few minutes ago. I hung out with a friend whom I love to Asia and back but Good Lord I really wanted to strangle him today. 

So I had an urge to see my dad and I went home in the morning, I spent about an hour and left to meet with this friend at the leisure mall, unfortunately there was no parking space so I had to park inside Eagles club and asked him to meet me there. From Eagles Club we walked across to Shoprite, then the Leisure Mall, the Sweet Sensation. At each point this my friend will say "ehen let me call boo and tell her what I'm doing" and then proceed to call the chic;
"Boo, Nwando had to park at Eagles club" 
"Boo, so Nwando just bought me pastry"
"Boo, so Nwando and I went to the Leisure mall but nothing was happening"
"Boo, we're leaving the mall now"
"Boo, we are in Sweet Sensation, I'm buying Nwando lunch"
Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo

Kai! Honestly I love this guy like he's blood but I felt like grabbing that phone and smashing it on the wall! (Darling friend if you read this, I wrote it with love, nor vex for me o! LOL). 

Before we parted he said some very deep truths to me that really put things in perspective for me and reminded me again why he is and will always be close to my heart. 

........
Just when I was begging the good Lord for a miracle, to magically transform my finances, the police stopped me around Adeniran Ogunsanya and took the money I had on me (which wasn't really so much sha) I broke a traffic law but WHY CAN'T AN APOLOGY BE ENOUGH? Wicked pipu, I begged and begged and begged, and you know the annoying part, they empathized with me and sympathized with me but still collected my money in the end. Aaaargh!

.........
When I got back home I was so exhausted but I dragged my tired body to go get some carrots and ginger for smoothies and I'm glad I did. I met someone really really cute at the store (I'm actually blushing right now). He's so.... (Ok lemme not jinx it, but he's got me smiling like a baby chimp even in the dark of my room). I'm looking forward to knowing him, I'm fine being just friends with him, (I guess a guy like that will be in a relationship) but he's someone I think I'll really want to have in my corner. 

Good night people! 
Better days ahead....

Just Stopped To Say...



I deleted last night's post because someone called it a pity-party and the thought that it might have been so misconstrued was so unnerving I thought the best thing was to take it off. 

Secondly it wasn't to encourage anyone to do anything. It was simply, basically the way I was feeling. And I ended up feeling victorious and overcoming that emotion; therefore it was ultimately meant to ENCOURAGE whoever is struggling that there's always light at the end of a tunnel. 

So to the Anon and anyone else who thought it was about pity, I'm way to strong for that... And too realistic to seek pity from people I mostly don't know personally. 

To everyone who was thoughtful and kind with the words and advice; Ifunanya, Wale etc. I'm so very grateful.

These moments exist in so many people's lives but just a few of us are actually willing to be vocal about it. I'm sure glad that mine was for a split second before God reminded me that He is. 

*love, hugs and sloppy kisses*. Have an Awesome Saturday people!. (Bukky remember we're hooking up tonight. No excuses *straight face*). 

Dear Men, There Are Always Strings Attached!

This is a letter to my friend *Dayo won't can't understand why he can't seem to successfully have a f*ck buddy without her emotions getting in the way. 



Dear *Dayo,

I'm amazed at the number of times I've had this conversation with different guys. "Everything started out great, we decided it was going to be just sex and nothing more. In fact it was even her idea. The sex is pretty awesome and I actually like her as a person, we had fun. But suddenly she started wanting me to call her, or take her out. If my phone rings she wants to know who's calling. And now she's getting angry, she's saying she wants more. Mehn I just can't deal. That wasn't the agreement." 

Friday, 25 April 2014

Thelma Asks...

Is it possible for a woman in her 20s to love a man old enough (or older than) to be her father?

Roberto Cavalli (73) on the beach with his girlfriend. 




Seeing the pictures of Roberto Cavalli and his smoking hot lover who's in her 20s reminds me of a friend who was dating a man in his late 60s. We were then in our mid 20s and she swore she was in love. They were quite a "cute" couple who talked about everything and spent hours on the phone, and she was so caring and attentive to his needs. No doubt he was/is filthy rich and my friend's lifestyle was suddenly transformed. But she still insists she was in love. And I didn't/don't believe her. LOL. 

I mean...... look at Roberto Cavalli, yes I will LOVE his money, but love him...err, NO WAY. And the thought of having a romp in the sack with him churns my belly, but then I remember that this is (Roberto Cavalli) and $$$ signs flash before my eyes and then I suddenly get insanely turned on and make hot passionate love to him and as I come I'll be screaming "Shoooooow miii the munnnnnnnay!!!" 

LOL. My imagination is already running wild. 


Thursday, 24 April 2014

Ndi Anambra Please Come Let Us Do Kporakpo Meeting.



I saw a comment yesterday on Bella Naija on the post "ENGAGED! Jude Okoye Proposes to Ify Umeokeke on his Birthday” and my curiosity was instantly piqued. I was half asleep otherwise I would have pinged one of my numerous Anambra friends or called my father but sleep wouldn't allow me.



The comment reads:

They Feed Their Men Fat Because They're Scared Of Losing Them.




He used to post his progress on a blog for people trying to lose weight, but he doesn’t anymore. When he started trying to get in shape, he weighed a little over 350 pounds. He told me all about his plans and his goal weight and how he was going to do it, and I could feel a little piece of me die inside. I wanted him to be successful because I loved him, but I knew that — at my weight, about 280 pounds — a fit and attractive boyfriend would not stay with me for a long time.

I’m sure you’re thinking, “Why didn’t you just lose the weight with him?” And for a while, that’s exactly what I did. But I knew that between my compulsive eating, my medical problems (yes, there are actual problems that contribute to weight gain or retention), and my depression, it wouldn’t last long. And it didn’t. I hurt myself during a class at the gym in front of all the fit people, and comforted myself by ordering half the menu at KFC and eating it in my car while listening to tHE radio. It wasn’t pretty, and I had to spray cologne on myself before I walked in the house so that he wouldn’t know where I was or what I was doing.

When I started to fall off the wagon, I knew that he had to, too. I started cooking nice dinners and guilting him into eating them because I “spent so much time cooking them.” (I would load them up with butter and cream when he wasn’t looking.) I brought bad foods back into our cupboards that I knew he couldn’t resist. When we had our scheduled classes at the gym, there would always be something extremely important that we had to go to. It only took about three weeks for him to be done with the weight loss, to abandon his online journals and stop talking about it to friends. Now, he’s back on his side of the couch, eating fast food and watching TV with me.

House Helps; The Husband's Lover, Necessary Evils?



Necessary Evils is the best way to describe house helps/house girls/domestic staff (for the socially correct). Last night I listened to Wana Wana on the radio (isn't she simply amazing?) and the topic was house helps that sleep with madam's husbands... Or husbands that sleep with the maids. I listened to the callers and these are some of the really interesting calls I heard :

Caller 1. (Husband). I have a neighbour who was sleeping with their house girl. Wana, if you see this house girl ehn! My God! She is too beautiful, TOOOOOOOOOO beautiful. She is like a queen. Wana she is about 18 but if you see her, very yellow, very very yellow, with big busts and big bum bum and she is just too beautiful. Wana I will not lie I cannot blame my neighbour. But how can his wife bring that type of girl to be a house girl in her home? Women stop bringing beauty (queens) into your house as house helps. Stop it, we men are easily tempted. Don't tempt us deliberately. 

My Life Is Pretty Awesome!

At least that's how I feel tonight. The day started off looking sort of dreary but it turned out rather pleasantly. I got some unexpected gifts and who doesn't love unexpected gifts?



*Sam asked earlier for us to go out and I replied in the negative, I was really feeling down. But in spite of that he showed up at my place when I got home in the evening with my favourite food and my favourite things; perfumes! (Some people have shoe fetishes, some have bag fetishes, I have neither of those, perfumes are my opium and they're the fastest way to my heart.)

Wednesday, 23 April 2014

PLEASE WE'RE BEGGING FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE.


Hey Guys! Let me begin by saying you do not owe me or anyone on this blog anything. But if you can help, then please do. I know I've mentioned this before, some people have expressed concern but so far I don't think anything has been done since the last time I mentioned it. 

Some people have mailed me, they're interested in helping but want to be assured that the girl in question is genuine and that this isn't a scam. I have not met her personally but I've been in contact with her since she approached me months ago. I did my little investigation and so far I can tell that she's not a scammer. We talk and chat occasionally, I've spoken to a few other people that know her so I'm convinced that this is a young single mother that really needs help. 

She sent me her baby's picture a short while after she had him and we didn't think it was a good idea to put it up on the blog, but today she gave me her consent. I'm hoping that when you see the baby you'll be moved to help her. 






She will appreciate both cash and items; baby clothes, diapers, wet wipes etc, but cash will be better appreciated because for now she's feeding the baby breast milk exclusively and needs money for her upkeep.     

Her account details are 0019513734. Diamond Bank. Diana Janet Ibekwe. 

If you would rather send her items and want to know how you can reach her then please mail me; thelmathinks@gmail.com

Please remember that no amount is too small. Little drops of water fill an ocean. 

Tuesday, 22 April 2014

New Money; New Attitude, New Friends.



Wale commented some days back that yes, you could marry someone with all the qualities you wanted in a life partner but life could throw some things at this life partner that could show you a different side of him or her. 

So true, but I'm not talking about marriage here but life and changes in general. PEOPLE CHANGE! When money comes, when money goes, when success comes, when failure threatens, when love comes, when prayers are answered, when dreams come true, when dreams are shattered, people change. 

I remember when *Bosun and I were both unemployed. We'd spend every night together in one local bar or the other drinking #300 naira beer and eating asun. Bosun said he was in love with me and would never feel that way for anyone else. Even though for some reasons I didn't think we should have a relationship then we stayed very good friends. One day Bosun called me in the middle of the day and I could feel his vibe, he was excited about something. "I just got it, I just got it Wando. I just fuckin got a job!!!" I began to dance in excitement. Are you serious? Where? When? How? But the best part was yet to come, an oil company! The pay was very good, and  other packages too. Bosun didn't study anything related to the job, he had been waiting for call-backs from some advertising firms especially one where his start off pay would have been about 150 grand a month, and this was his dream job. Yet, this one that he didn't even apply for, he was getting paid double that and more. How he got the job? Well, daddy's friend of course. He went for the interview and they saw that he was biracial and bi-lingual, he was immediately offered the job. (He was told that they were glad he wasn't full Nigerian and that he had lived outside Nigeria, so thank God, that means he doesn't think like all these Nigerian people) Hahahahaha. I'm digressing but can you see the problem with this our Nigeria? Anyways just like that, without merit, Bosun got a dream job!

And just like that Bosun changed.

Chimamanda's Meme On Feminism Sparks Negative Trend On Twitter



Chimamanda Adichie has become the face of feminism in Nigeria with her talks, interviews and most recently her book, Americanah. For a lot of self-identifying feminists including myself, she has made the topic interesting and one for our generation. But for a lot of chauvinist men and more conservative women, she is a thorn in their flesh. This meme and some others have sparked twitter outrage with some commenters predicting her divorce, calling her overrated, and all what not. Of course Chiamamanda has her defenders. What do you think?

Monday, 21 April 2014

Girl Code: Exs Are Off Limits.



Today was quite hectic for me. The last few days have been pretty uneventful, I've spent most of the time at home, in bed. But today Ada celebrated her birthday and I had to be there. Adaeze is one of those friends you don't see or talk to often but she is a FRIEND in all ramifications of the word, so not going wasn't an option. So at 2pm I headed for Ikeja, lunch was at La Mango restaurant in GRA. I have never driven myself to Ikeja before. I neither know the Third Mainland route or the Ikorodu road route. It's either someone else drives or I take a cab. I should be ashamed seeing as I was born and bred in Lagos and I've been to Ikeja a gazillion times. The traffic leaving the island (thanks to the Carnival) wasn't so bad, but it was discouraging. I made it out and kept driving straight down as Adaeze asked me to do. When I should have turned right I didn't, just kept driving down till I had no idea where I was. At this point I was sure I was lost. I immediately put my ipad on the floor of the car (no discrimination but the parole in that part of town isn't the same). It was the sort of area that looked like anyone you asked for direction would either spit at you or drag your neck and yank off your jewelry. I kept driving and then saw a sign that said I was in Shagamu! Shagamu ke? I almost peed my pants. I drove and drove and found myself in somewhere vaguely familiar. I was in Ikorodu town! Mehn I turned back and tried to find my way back home, I'd already planned calling Ada to say; Sorry, I tried but I failed. Long story short, two hours after leaving home I finally found my way to Ikeja. 

     The three course meal at La Mango restaurant is relatively inexpensive (#3,500) and it was really good. My starter was shrimp and marinara, it was oh so nice! My main course was mashed potatoes and mixed grill (steak, jumbo prawn, fish, chicken etc). Also really nice. But I found myself wishing I'd ordered 'swallow'. It looked so rich and good and the portions were very very generous. And yes! Bukky was there!

Is It Really That Big A Deal?



I think I may have raised this before (I really can't remember) but if I did then I obviously didn't get answers. 

Please ARE BLOW JOBS SUCH A BIG DEAL? I really need to know. Everytime a guy talks about breaking up, or divorcing or cheating on his significant other it always seems to have something to do with blow jobs, or (more appropriately) the lack thereof. In one of the episodes of Being Mary Jane this guy tells his wife who he's cheating on that he's moving out as he no longer loves her, they get into an argument and then he gives a list of reasons for moving out/leaving her for the other woman, and one of them is "you don't give me head anymore!". Seriously!

Earlier today I chatted with *Laura. She thinks dear husband might be cheating on her and says she's almost sure of it. Without confirming she says she's sure it's because she's slacking in bed and asked me how to give a good blow job (RME), I immediately referred her to google. Laura said she wants a "real" person to explain it to her, and she wants to know if it smells. It's really obvious she's dreading doing it but she feels she doesn't do that for hubby, so if he's cheating then that must be the reason. 

Sunday, 20 April 2014

Daddy Freeze Is Freaking Hilarious!.... Errr, This Is A Joke Right?


This week we've watched the filthy laundry of the Okoye family being publicly washed and I personally have cringed at the entire situation. I had/have no opinion on the matter except that I wish it doesn't have to be so publicized, it's absolutely embarassing to watch. Oh well.... Moving on. But not really. I was stopped in my tracks when I saw a title post on Laila Ikeji's blog that Cool fm presenter Freeze wants US, as in You and I to PRAY for P'SQUARE AND FAMILY.

 If you don't know the details of the family feud then to me it means you have an extremely amazing life which does not afford you the time to indulge in online gossip (Kudos to you!), just google it and I'm sure you'll be sorted. 

So these are the tweets that made me break my resolve not to post anything else tonight. (Read from the bottom). 





I won't lie to you, I'm of the firm belief that Freeze tweeted this under the influence of something very strong. Before he tweeted this did he hear that just this morning in Bauchi Boko Haram attacked a secondary school and burnt the staff quarters and KILLED A 5YR OLD GIRL in the process? 

     I mean seriously Daddy Freeze with what is going on in Nigeria this is what you want US to pray about? What you choose to pray about is entirely up to you, whatever your motives are, but don't insult us by asking us to take time out from our already challenge-ridden lives to pray for people who do not give a hoot about our very existence, whose only concern for us is to the extent of how much we're willing to pay for their concerts or buy their CDs. 
    These tweets have got me so riled up but I wonder why. After all it's only a joke, right? RIGHT?


As for the Okoye clan, I do wish you well. But please find a way to keep what's private private. 


Happy Easter!



Have a blessed Easter guys!
 Anybody having an Easter party today? Plisssssss can I come (*bats eyelashes*) ?

(My sister said people don't have parties on Easter. Is this true? Anyways in case it's not and you're having one don't forget to invite me. Yes, I'm begging. Hehehehehe.). 




Saturday, 19 April 2014

Just A Thought...



This is just a simple thought. I can't really point fingers because I've been guilty of the same thing in the past. Sometimes we look at people and before we even get to know them we've already summed them up. I remember when I used to work at my mum's restaurant. A number of times a very ordinary looking man will walk in, looking a tad unkempt. I'll walk over and gruffly take his orders and then relay them to some other staff because I cannot be bothered to walk to the kitchen and pick up a tray and serve this man. Who is he by the way? Does he know who I am? A law student, lawyer in the making? I who just flew into Lagos after a leisurely 5star weekend. And he thinks I'm going to stress myself? No sir, not me. 
      And then when he's done eating my mum will come and say have you greeted that man? That's the Comptroller General of so so and so. And then I will look and feel so stupid. In some cases I'll know I've goofed so badly that I won't be able to go back to talk to him. 

Single Ladies. (You've Got Me Wishing...)




So I just finished watching Season 3 of one of my fav chickflick TV series and it's left me feeling some kinda way! 

I know that kind of 'ride or die' love, that passion that's so smoking hot you can almost feel the flames from the screen, that sexiness that no matter how you try to emulate can never be recreated in real life, only exists in the movies.... Yet it's possible to have a semblance of that and I want a semblance of that!

I'm not too scared to admit that I miss being part of a couple, that although I'm currently practicing abstinence I miss being kissed deeply, slowly, passionately, that I miss experiencing a mind-blowing orgasm I didn't give myself, that I miss being held post-coitus and have sweet nothings whispered in my ears. I'm not afraid to admit that I get so lonely I sometimes create imaginary friends and lovers, just so I don't feel so lonely anymore. Yeah I miss knowing that someone I love loves me back in return, and maybe just a little bit more. I miss having that someone you call at the end of the day and unburden it all to, the good, bad and ugly events of that day, someone with whom you share the laughter, tears, pain, jokes, prayers, hope, everything! Yeah I miss it. ...err I don't only miss knowing it, I've sort of forgotten what it feels like (my last relationship was in 2010 and even that was really messed up, one that left me with ZERO self-esteem and complete self-doubt at the end of it all). 

So yeah, I don't usually think or worry about the fact that it's me myself and I but watching this series has got me wishing. Kai!!! 

Anyhoooooooo I'm just checking in. Enjoy the rest of your Saturday. I'm going out to see what's going on in the world. Ciao!

Never Will I Ever Marry/Date A Person Who.....



Good Morning awesome people! I'm really excited this morning (about nothing at all as my weekend stretches forth an empty blank canvass *sobs*... But wait, maybe that's why I'm excited; POSSIBILITIES! lol). 

So let's play a game... Of course this would make no sense if you're married but hey, you can advise those of us still on the market. For instance, people say the worse kind of man you can marry is a stingy man. I once read a post, Would You Rather Marry A Stingy Man OR A Man That Cheats. 
     I was shocked to see that 80% of the women, most of whom are married, said it is much better to marry an unfaithful man than a stingy man. They say it's the worse thing you can ever do. 
     In fact Chika's aunty once told her the three types of men a woman should never marry and the first is A STINGY MAN. 

Ok, so besides stingy men, never will you ever marry a man/woman who....?

I'll go first. 
Never will I ever marry a man who is abusive, both physically and emotionally. 
Never will I ever marry a man who does not have a relationship with God. 
Never will I ever marry a man who likes skinny girls. (Because I know I'll never be skinny. I can't shout abeg. LOL). 

Friday, 18 April 2014

"The Cockpit Of A Plane Is No Place For A Woman"- Do You Agree WithThis Passenger?





Carey Smith Steacy, a female Canadian Airline pilot with 17 years of experience (not her picture above), apparently received a blunt and critical letter from a distraught passenger sometime in March. 



  It read: 'Dear Capt/ WestJet. The cockpit of airliner is no place for a woman. A woman being a mother is the most honor, not as "captain". We're short on mothers, not pilots. (He then references Chapter 31 from the Book of Proverbs, which includes a description of what makes a virtuous woman.)
The letter continues:  PS: I wish WestJet could tell me a fair lady is at the helm so I can book another flight!'


And this is her reply below:

Dear Thelma, The 'Friend-Zoned' Is Now The Love Of My Life!




Thelma I send this to you with butterflies in my belly. I tried to comment when you put the friend zoned post but I don't know why I can't comment on your blog so I decided to mail. 
      My boo is one of the best things that has happened to me. And to think that I kept him in the friend zone corner for so long. Hmmm. The thing is we've been friends for long. In fact I met him before I met my ex boyfriend but I immediately friend-zoned him because of age issues. He's two months younger than me and to me that was a big NO-NO. He used to try to convince me but I didn't listen and went ahead to date my ex which was a huge mistake, it was a messy relationship and ended very badly (which I wrote to you about), and this my boo was there through all of it. He was the friend that would comfort me and promise me it will all be fine. 
     Long story short even after I broke up with my ex I didn't want to give him a chance but I used to spend time with him because we're in the same line of work. We used to go to the gym together, the movies etc. As we started spending more time together I found myself falling in love with him and we became so attached to each other. And just like that we transitioned to bf and gf. We talked about the age issue and it doesn't bother him. We agreed to always respect each other and not let it be an issue. Since we made it official not a day goes by that he doesn't do something to make me smile. He's always there for me and often surprises me with gifts. Just last week I came home from work to find that he had bought me the cutest puppy ever! And that's how he is, alway spoiling me with gifts even when I don't ask. He's always there when I need him. He has the kindest heart and he's the best boyfriend I've ever had. We complement each other and I try my best to make him happy too because he really deserves it. 
     My parents and brothers met him a while back and they loved him (unlike my Exs). I'm meant to meet his folks this Easter but I'm vacationing outside the country so I won't be able to. But once I come back after Easter we are going to meet his parents. He is such a big part of my life now that I don't know how I coped before him, and he is everything I have ever wanted in my man. I just refused to see it because of two months age difference.
     Thelma I'm so excited and I've not been happy like this before. So please, the person that you've friend-zoned may be The One. You can never tell. It's good to give love a chance. Use my story as an example. I never knew that this guy could be the one to make my life so beautiful. 

.....

Candy, Have You Met Your Husband's Wife?



I saw *Candy some weeks ago and those were the first words on my mind. I imagined walking up to the size 10 dark skinned beauty and her adorable kids, the picture perfect family minus daddy who was obviously working his ass off to keep his lovely family in the "good life" they had become accustomed to. Maybe it was the slightly evil part of me that itched to see what the confident almost smug smile would look like if I asked her those words. Of course I couldn't. So I sat back and continued to imagine. 

True story people, so I'm going to be quite vague because I do not like scandal and these are normal people living out their realities, and fantasies. Candy's husband *Biodun used to be a good friend of mine but naturally we've drifted apart. Yet we talk occasionally as he calls me on my birthday, public holidays, his birthday and on a few random occasions. On one of those occasions I was visiting somewhere in the South where he had coincidentally relocated to a few months before, without his family. When he heard I was around he said I should come through, that his weekend was mad and he really needed to de-stress and have a sane conversation. He wanted to run away from his home and go somewhere. So I asked him why and then he told me the story.

Thursday, 17 April 2014

A WTF Moment. (Reader's Mail).



Please o I need ur advice cos I'm about to kill somebody's daughter I swear. The way I'm feeling now I no send at all. I'm not high o. I'm writing this with clear eyes. Ok help me judge, I met this balu baby mama of mine 3 years ago, Very beautiful babe, chick fine like miss Nigeria fine. yellow tall, Innocent but very willing to learn. I no even over toast her sef. She see confirm boy nah. YBNL level. Meaning yahoo boy no lappy. I'm rich and fresh like that boo.
So I taught her how to smoke and she got addicted. We started dating and became smoking partners. Breakfast weed, lunch weed, dinner SK. From there we graduated to doing the injection, taking pills. It was all fun until she born our son. Ok, we don Born. My girl still dey smoke with me.
We did our introduction last year and we decided we would stop smoking at least she would stop cause she's a mom now. But she refused. no Wahala o. I took my son and  I dumped her. No time mehn.

Help! Someone Really Needs Your Advice.

A blog visitor who says you guys have really sound opinions would like to hear your thoughts on a matter that's mind-boggling at the moment. 



Assuming you've been searching for a job for sometime and you're currently unemployed, you applied at several places, you've written tests and attended interviews but so far nothing has come through. Recently you attended two interviews after writing tests for both and you just got called back by one of the companies to resume work immediately. But here the pay isn't very good, about 70k a month and you actually prefer the other job you interviewed for. If you take this job you'll have to sign an undertaking to work for two years before leaving the organization. The problem now is that the results for the other company will be out in at least one month, the pay is about 200k with additional allowances and you think you have a very good shot at this job too because you did exceptionally well at both the written tests and interview.

What will you do? Will you accept this low paying job that you have already been offered, or wait for a much better (paying) job that you haven't been given although you have a 'very good feeling' about?

Wednesday, 16 April 2014

Random Ramblings Of A Girl With Twitching Fingers...

Oh yes, I just referred to myself as a GIRL. Bite me! (On Sunday I had the trial makeover for a bride with whom I'll be working in May. We're age mates, she said we're not girls but women. But I refuse, I am a girl. "Women" calls to mind my mother and her friends. "Women" is so...... final, so I insist, I AM A GIRL!




It's dry spell season. My dry spell season. Where nothing is happening and nothing interests me. And to make matters worse the air in Nigeria is ominous, 2015 draws near and Boko Haram is trying to show us that what they were doing before is child's play. God help us. Yes, I hate it when one mentions Nigeria and someone says that, but all I, as an individual can do this very minute is to pray for my country. Whether I actually love the country is another question entirely, yet she's the only one I have, so I fervently pray for Her. 

So dry spell season, weirdly though it's not as bad as it's been in previous years. Most times I sort of feel like someone else has taken over my life and my body and I'm merely a spectator, this time however, I'm in full possession of the body, yet, an uninterested occupant. Still it's not so bad, it's not as dry as I would have envisaged. 

Last night I went out with *R, first date kind of thing but thankfully it didn't feel like one really; there were no awkward silences and no weird moments, we talked and argued and laughed like old friends. We chatted over virgin-cocktails and I finally had the seafood pasta he had raved about. Had mine with cream, he had his with tomatoes, it was good but not what I'd expected. After dinner I drove him home because it's along my route, his driver drove behind us, and when we got to his place he began the usual "that was good... I really had fun... I had a very good time..." (Do people usually mean this when they say it? Everytime I've gone on a date it ends this way and I know I'm not that entertaining, makes me wonder if it's just protocol".

Thelma Asks... DO YOU BELIEVE IN SOUL TIES?


I know it seems I've been asking a lot of questions of late but there's just so much to talk about, and so much I'm unclear about, and so much to learn. This is one thing I think we NEED to talk about.  

So my question is this; DO YOU BELIEVE IN SOUL TIES? 

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