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And There I Was Feeling Dirty, Feeling Hopeless...

Good morning errbody! Thanks so so so much for all the calls and the mails, Tiwa, Memphis, Sunshine, Uyi, Ng, -F, Enjay, PunIntended, Favourite, and everyone who wished me speedy recovery here on the blog. Thanks, may God bless you all. 

I'd like to say I'm feeling better but that may not be true. However, I'm tired of staying down, it just feels like my head is buried in the sand while the world passes me by, so here I am. I've missed TTB!

So many things happened in the last few days that served as a big eye opener for me. First there was the Bishop who stays across the corridor from my friend. My friend is an occasional smoker and at night she goes down the hall to the windows to smoke. The bishop occasionally walks by, Bible in his hands, disgust on his face, judgment in his eyes. On a few occasions he would mutter that sinners would never go far in life. Yet a few weeks back just as my friend was about to step out for her night smoke she hesitated and ran back in. From the peep hole we saw not one, not two, but three prostitutes exit Bishop's apartment. One still had her money in her hand. 
      The next night they were back again and this time they stayed till morning. 

I remembered Bishop when I got a call some days ago telling me that *Rolake was leaving her husband. I was stunned; Rolake, why? What could have happened? I mean, in Rolake's shoes I would have left the husband long ago, but Rolake didn't seem to mind. Mind what, you might ask? 

Well Barrister Rolake was still young and happening when she met her hubby. Pretty, light skinned and quite flashy. All that changed the minute she got married. Hubby, a Christian fanatic, a card carrying, uniform wearing member of that church T.L.C, informed Rolake that her ways were too carnal and worldly. First off, Rolake had to cut her hair short like a boy's and go natural, then she had to give away ALL her jewelry including her gold and precious stones, then she had to fling away all her trousers; Christian sisters don't wear trousers. That wasn't all, makeup is worldly so Rolake also had to throw away her MAC and BlackUp and every makeup item she had. Then as though this wasn't enough, Rolake was to set some hours aside every other day to wear the neon green apron worn by members of that church, carry a megaphone and walk around for hours, evangelizing. Oh, and even when Rolake wasn't evangelizing, she still had to wear the neon green apron to everywhere she went, even the office. 

They're quite close to my family and everytime they came around I'd look at how pure and holy they were and I'd begin to hate myself and ask God to make just just a teeny bit like them, Rolake's husband was so passionate about God, so Christlike. So you can imagine my shock when I heard she was leaving. What happened? Did Rolake finally look in the mirror and realize that she didn't recognize herself anymore, did she look at dull sickly skin and wonder what happened to her yellow pawpaw body, did she look at her almost bald head and miss the mounds of expensive Peruvian hair it once used to support, did she look into her eyes and realize it was vacant, like there's no one home? Did Rolake finally realize that her marriage had turned her into an empty shell even though she was just little over 30?

It turns out it wasn't any of that, I'm quite sure she must have known all this already, but of course she chalked it down to one of the burdens that come with being Mrs. So apparently hubby had been sleeping with her maid for two years, hubby hadn't touched her for over a year, hubby had taken to sleeping in the maid's bed while she slept alone in theirs. My mouth hung open, unfuckingbelievable

But that wasn't all. The week they got married, hubby openly continued his relationship with his Ex who he couldn't marry because of genotype reasons. Then we also heard that Oh, hubby had been in the househelp-sleeping business for years. Someone he once lived with said that that was the reason he was thrown out, he slept with ALL her maids, even getting a few of them pregnant. 

Oh wow!

Rolake has returned to her parent's home and I can't blame her. What kept her there for so long, for God's sake?! He slept in bed with your maid while you donned the neon colored apron walking up and down the crazy streets of Lagos, spreading "God's word" in the blistering sun, for a church you never even belonged to, or believed in, because of a husband who you knew to be the devil himself...

Isn't it funny how these "holy" people make you feel bad about yourself yet you would not even conceive to do half of what they do behind closed doors?



  1. Oh wow!!Thank God for setting her free at last and pls she shud take time and look after herself. As for d Bishop, I'm sure he's not a Catholic Bishop. #crucify me if you want. Welcome back T, still wishing you ample health. Good morning TTBs, Top of d day to y'all. B4 I even forget
    May God take veeeeery far from me dat man/husby dat ll ask me to cut my hair. Chaiiiii Gbesee go dey o. Jus like Anna Banner did and I'm loving her less each time I c her haircut. Bon weekend all.

  2. Lol,the evil that men do...
    If I talk,they wld say Sasha the feminist!
    Some men just like to use their reggae to spoil a woman's blues all in the name of marriage (and submission)

    1. Spot on Sasha, the race of Christianity has been taken to be madness, I don't believe in going all bald,long skirt and looking so ugly n dirty all because of Christianity, my Pastor usually calls me the bad egg among the workers cos my church is exactly the above,no ear ring,no trousers,make up and am expected to make wool only cos am a worker, like I care? It's the heart that matters and not all this buhaha,asides from the men,I know of Christian sisters in my church who pretend and all that hiding under this stupid believe and committing crimes,fornication and aldultery that people in the world wouldn't do half,it pisses me off sincerely, the man turned rolake into a nightmare and he goes about admiring his maid who am sure wears the above and look sexy. Na wa,it is said already that judgement would start from the house of the Lord. Men men men menn. I hail una ohhhh.

    2. Welcome back T,was happy to hear u sound strong last nite,plss fully recover for our sake biko. Hugs dear.

    3. Yaaayy! Thelma's back! Nice to see you're up and about dear, even at 50%. :D

      @Mabel, we hail back ooo.

      Bia, Sasha, only you talk say you be feminist one time like that, abi you don forget? *tongue out*

    4. @ Memphis so u even dey hail back abi,no wahala,Abeg leave Sasha for me ohhhh. Lol.

    5. Mabel, before nko? :D

      On a more serious note nobody should be discouraged about how *saintly people* treat them with disgust because of their faults. Matthew 9:13, Mark 2:17, Luke 5:32: I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know
      they are sinners and need to repent.

      Anyone who doesn't imitate this gesture is far from HEAVEN.

    6. @ Memphis, I guess the man also thinks he couldn't or thought he couldn't be tempted, my pastor usually tell every one who cares to listen never to say I can't fall neither can I be tempted, he says the day u start saying that or say or think that,then get ready for temptation that would mk u fall. So just maybe rolake's husband felt he had gotten to that comfort zone and couldn't fall,not contradicting my earlier statement though, this thought just came to my mind as well,the above verses are loaded for stuffs like this. God help us.

  3. T baby, you'll be back to 100% in no time...Pele dear

  4. Reason I always tell people not to judge, that you don't smoke doesn't make you better than the person who does. People be trying to look holy for the world forgetting its God they are serving, and some Christians will be looking at us as though we are sinners, because the women wear trousers make up and co, if you get to heaven and you see us there don't eneter

  5. Yay!!! I know my Thelma would get well very very soon...

    Anyways Rolake's husband must be stinkingly rich to have been able to tame her to that point oh! And to think that she was once a beautiful and full-of-life lady. Wow... Mysteries of life!

  6. I'm happy you're back thelma! Yay!!! Hope you're eating and resting well!

    Uhmnnnnn! Thelma... I understand that you should not feel dirty because of someone. People are bad regardless of their religion or what they believe in. So don't be disappointed that a "bishop" fornicates or an ardent T.L.C member sleeps with his maids.
    I want to say now that christians especially people you refer to as SUs or holy holy get judged even before they do somfn wrong. Is like people wait for them to mess up before they start pointing fingers. I can't count the number of times I have been judged or had people turn their nose up at me just because I don't wear make-up or jewelries. People judge me even before I do somfn wrong and call me fake. Let me just dance shoki or sing along.. they go! Uhmph! There goes our sister in the lord! They get judged pretty harshly too(even by fellow christians eg maybel) *tongue out @ maybel*
    So as much as you shouldn't feel dirty because of someone else... or feel judged just by the way someone carries himself or herself.... you also shouldn't judge people because they behave or look a certain way. Stop the prejudice!

  7. Too many hypocrites out there , no one truly knows what happens behind closed doors

  8. Jeez!..The evil that men do these days surprises the devil sef!!..nawa oo

  9. Thelma glad you are feeling better.

    I had to read the story twice. I hope rolake finds herself. As for the husband let God Judge him.

  10. Packing up her marriage is not d solution here. On cutting of her, no make up, no jewellery etc, shd not be done bcos of a relationship but bcos u're convinced u shd do so.

    Now dt d issue is like dis, bcos of d love she had for her hubby, he needs help. She shd pls help d man out of his problem. Go with him for deliverance at MFM prayer city if he is willing.

    On d Bishop (catholic or otherwise), Bishop is just a title nothing more. His person is what he is doing presently. Being in d office of a Bishop, he shd know better n do better but... hmnnnnn. God help us

  11. "Not everyone that calls me Lord shall enter Heaven".......the more reason we shouldn't use men to set standards for ourself.



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