Skip to main content

Dear Thelma...





I'm in a relationship and we are supposed to wed later this year. We have dated for almost two years now and everything has always gone smoothly. My boyfriend is the spiritual type, prays morning and night, fasts every week, he does not miss service on sundays. But it's not like he is too born again or anything because we have sex regularly and we have a normal relationship. But recently he has been acting strange and is always saying he is not feeling well then last month he called me to tell me that he has a revelation, that he thinks he has a calling. Me I took it as a joke and I told him that he cannot be serious, but it's as if he is very serious o! Thelma he has gone to meet the pastors in his church to tell them about his dreams and revelation and to ask for guidance. Me I don't know what to do because I cannot be a pastor's wife and I don't want to marry any pastor or minister or whatever. Please what can I do, we love each other so much, I really want to marry him and we have already done introduction and started planning the wedding. 

Comments

  1. Why don't you want to marry a pastor? What's so frightful? Sad? Annoying? Distasteful? in being a Pastor or the spouse?
    Are you plain scared of responsibilities or of him changing to being more 'spirico' than you'd like?
    Besides, aren't there Pastors who know how to 'ride&grind' with their loved ones whilst maintaining morality and all? There are!
    Anyway, if you never want to be involved in his life as a Pastor, then you should speak with him about your fears, thoughts and all.
    You just have to make a choice.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear poster,can I ask u a question?? Is marrying a minister a sin? Anyways, I used to have this kind of mind set until recently, but the truth is,marrying a pastor or minister ain't a sin,all u should be asking GOD for is a man that would give u rest,make u happy and feel special, am not saying marrying a minister would bring the above but all am saying is,if u truly love this guy,you should support his dreams, his dreams and aspirations should also be yours,and do not seize to pray,ask GOD for directions on what to do and also ask God to show you if he is truly your husband and if thats where you should be. Don't also hesitate to talk to your husband to be about it and ask him if it's what he truly wants and if he is sure of what he saw because if he is truly sure of what he saw,then God's calling cannot be ignored, it has to be answered. I hope u take the best decision.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ccc and Maybel have said it all, please dnt let your husband pass you by because he has a Calling,Pastors can be wonderful Husbands too

    ReplyDelete
  4. I agree with the above comments. I feel it's the responsibilities attached to being a pastor's wife that you're scared to handle. Pastors can be fun husbands too. Just talk with him and take everything to God in prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  5. "But it's not like he is too born again or anything because we have sex regularly and we have a normal relationship"

    Lmaooo! Dear poster! That's where you lost me o! He is not "too" born again... what does that even mean? so an abnormal relationship is one where they don't have sex! Hahahaha! O ga o... okay

    And then your question about what to do... the "not too born again" fiancé has a calling and you don't want to be a pastor's wife...
    Whatever happened to purpose before marriage? Knowing your purpose and making sure it fits into or is in line with the other person's purpose.
    You both need to have a very serious talk about your future together. Before you both run into serious problems later and then you begin to patch and patch till you can't patch again. If he really has a calling and you really do not want to be a minister's wife cuz it's really not a walk in the park... then well... you probably need to go back and think again!


    Meanwhile, when my mom married my dad... i'm sure she didn't even envisage all that he is now... it took a while but here they are and they are doing well. everyone has a ministry/calling. It might not entail standing at the altar to preach but we all do. So dear poster... it's not such a terrible thing to be a mommy pastor! lol! But there are lots of 'things' involved and if you're not ready.. jejely step back... *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ur man is not getting any calling ....I doubt God will call a chronic unrepentant fornicator. Please maybe God is calling him to repentance. Without Holiness it's impossible to please God. #bittertruth

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haba tolu, Dats harsh now.Lol I couldn't stop laffing but ur opinion though.

      Delete
    2. @Tolu, well said. Perhaps it's a call to repentance. You cannot mingle your spirituality with your vanities. If he wants to be a pastor that's good, but you cannot be sharing his bed with him while he's working towards whatever calling he has.

      Delete
    3. Lol, u too Memphis. Kaii there is God ohhhh.

      Delete
    4. Maybel the truth isn't always sweet. Memphis and I are just saying what every one else is thinking....sorry mummy pastor to be If I sound harsh :)

      Delete
  7. But Memphis and Tolu what about those pastors that were deep in sin when they got called? I've heard many testimonies, even a former prostitute who's now a minister talks of how she was living in sin; prostitution, drunkeness and drug abuse. An old classmate also, who started her life as a runs girl right from Queen's College. She's quick to tell everyone how God arrested her, how she knew she had a calling but continually resisted it and pushed her way deeper into sin till she was finally arrested.
    Even the Bible gives us so many examples so I don't understand what you guys are saying; that God calls only saints?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thelma that's not what Tolu and I are implying. Even the person with the most hideous sins imaginable gets a call from GOD. But the poster is implying that her boo isn't "too born again" and they're having a *normal* relationship. Even after getting such a call? Nah..doesn't work that way. When you get a call, your relationship should go from *normal* to normal.

      Delete
    2. Exactly ! If he believes his calling and already answering the call he wont still be having his version of normal relationship with u. The guy needs to become bornagain first before u Start worrying about being called 'pastor Mrs' .
      And thelma how can he know its even God calling him when the bible clearly says sin separates us from God. Anyways he need to retune his antenna. #manyarecalled #fewarechoosen

      Delete
    3. Hmmmmmm tolu another dimension, when the bible says sin separate us from GOD, that didn't imply that sin would hide us from God's calling or not mk us see him,my dear GOD is not man and can never, dats my own way of interpreting the part u talking about.

      Delete
    4. When you get a call, you either ignore it, are undecided or start considering an acceptance - these are mostly the initial reaction. I doubt anyone notices he has a calling and accepts the first time he hears it or stops sinning automatically.

      The guy has 'noticed' he has a calling and has done the right thing by approaching his 'seniors' for guidance. He has not answered in the real sense.

      As Thelma rightly said, examples abound in the Bible. Abraham lied & committed adultery; Moses was a murderer, Jacob a cheat etc.

      One more thing: having a calling or answering a call does not automatically translate into a heavenly candidacy! He's going to be a mere tool in the hands of the Lord.

      He who God calls, He qualifies; He who He qualifies, He glorifies. God hardly calls the qualified, he qualifies those He calls.

      -F

      Delete
  8. Talk to you man please and find out exactly what is going on b4 u start posting epistles that touch in a year.

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. He has a calling doesnt necessarily mean he is going to become an Adeboye tomorrow or be a pastor. But he will minister and touch lives. And don't think he can't get called because you two boning. God doesn't call the qualified. It's time for YOU to work out YOUR own Salvation with Fear and Trembling. Let God also reveal himself to you!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dear Poster: if you can share with us the reason for not wanting a Pastor as a husband, maybe it will guide our advice to you.

    -F

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa