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Dear Thelma

TTB readers is it right for a husband to force himself on his wife? I know that wives are to submit to their husbands but some days I am too tired or I am not in the mood but my husband does not care because according to him it is his right. Some times when he forces me like that he bruises me down there and one time he forced me to have anal sex. Thelma that day I tot will die, i don't know how people do it but I was in pain for days. Even as I was in pain he still demanded sex. I love my husband but I hate this part of him. Am I wrong to complain, when someone hears my problem they say thatI should be happy that my husband still finds me attractive and that it is a sign that he is faithful to me. But why can't he listen to me when I say no, or don't I have a right to say no sometimes? Pls what can I do?


  1. Sweetheart, that is rape. Yeah he is your husband but he should understand that sometimes you are not just in the mood, forcing you is wrong, all he could have done is try to put you in the mood.
    Anyway try to talk to him calmly. Explain yourself to him tell him what you want and what you don't want.

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  2. Up until now how has your sexual relationship with your husband been? Has he always forced himself on you from the very beginning till date? If no then what changed? There is a link somewhere and thats where the solution lies. Truth is you need to pray and ask some questions...ask yourself and also ask him and please if you feel really sore down there please visit the hospital for your own life's takia.....#JoyDaNuGirl

  3. WOW!
    My Dear, Ur husband has been raping U. That's just sad & unfair. Esp forcing U to have anal sex! Like WTactualF.

    Listen, Talk to him, calmly, respectfully, a few tears could help. If he doesn't stop, talk to a 3rd person, maybe ur religious leader or some older person that ur husband respects. If he doesn't stop, report to any of the anti rape organizations around.
    No ONE should live like this. There's no endurance in this case pls. It's already a habit with him, it could get worse!
    *Missed U Guys. *Thank U Thelma*

    1. Ruth! Ruth!! Ruth!!! Where is it na?

    2. Now calling ur husband number *U musto lemme*

    3. Welcome bak Ruthy

    4. Ruthy! Hope you good

    5. Thanks Adah.
      BB I'm good now. Getting there.

  4. #Nuffsaid...He's been raping you and that's really very bad. I think a very deep and heartfelt conversation should solve this though, he should know the damage he's been causing before things get out of hand.

  5. My dear,I call this husband says when two couples are not in sync when they make love is rape forget the way we say it's sex....Talk to him,cry like the blog visitor said,tell him u are sometimes tired,or he should try and put u in the mood....Lastly,apply wisdom....TNHW

  6. Raping you is not a sign of your husband's faithfulness and co..that's trash talk
    You need to talk to him,make him understand,Cry if you must,if that does work you will have to talk to your pastor or someone you think you can trust and if that doesn't work you will have to take the high road and report as Sasha said

  7. Say no to rape... involve a 3rd party if you have to.

  8. 'Force' is wrong irrespective of his status as your husband.
    Anal sex, if not mutually agreed is even worse.
    That said, permit me to ask: has his libido been always this high? If yes, then you should try and increase your own tempo; search for reasons that put you off mood and do everything right to address/correct them. I am saying this because I have some married cheating male friends who attribute their cheating to their wives inability to satisfy them. One particularly said that while they were dating, his wife was a 'tigress' but soon after marriage, the excuses began. In as much as I believe men should give their wives some break, truth is that no excuse makes much sense to men when their third leg calls for some action.

    If however his libido was not this high until recently, then you need to find out why. The reason may give some indications about the solution.

    I think this is a sensitive issue that should be handled with care lest he seeks his pleasure elsewhere; as previously suggested by some BVs, a respectful dialogue will go a long way. Wish you all the best.


  9. This is just wrong. Forced Anal??? What kind of man forces himself on a woman? Talk to him if it does not work turn into an emotional wrecked woman next time it happens. Someone I know experienced this and when she talked and it did not work she resorted to hysteria. It worked. Crying outbursts, talking to herself, acting like she is loosing it hmmmm it worked. Desperate times calls for desperate measures. J

  10. Talk to him about it esp when he is in a good mood

    A Bili

  11. No one in the name of husband should force you to do stuff you don't want. Getting married doesn't mean losing your individuality.

    It's so unfair. Being submissive isn't the same as being subservient.

    You need to start acting the talk and let him hear you. Not just in words but in action.

    Protect your self and "arse". Cos in the long run, marriage or no marriage if his libido is this high, chances that he will cheat is still there.

    God help you dear.

  12. No one in the name of husband should force you to do stuff you don't want. Getting married doesn't mean losing your individuality.

    It's so unfair. Being submissive isn't the same as being subservient.

    You need to start acting the talk and let him hear you. Not just in words but in action.

    Protect your self and "arse". Cos in the long run, marriage or no marriage if his libido is this high, chances that he will cheat is still there.

    God help you dear.

  13. This is a characteristic of men who do porn and frequent call girls. Unfortunately, he is trying to live out his fantasies. You have to involve someone he respects, preferably a man, maybe a pastor who is discreet. Also, if he is close to a doctor, schedule a visit so d doctor can tell him d implications of rape and anal sex. If he injures u he will move on. Hope u know how to pray?

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