Ok, so that title doesn't best describe this post as I'm not sure how much you'll learn from it, but you might learn something. Yet any text on mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationships is of interest to me because one day I just might have one. It amazes me when I hear ladies either thanking God that their boos' mothers are late, or praying that the man who wants to marry them has buried his mum years ago... It amazes me because most of these ladies have mothers, and brothers, and I'm like don't you know this is how someone out there is praying for the demise of your mother?! Hia!!!
So anyways, this is what Joro Olumofin has to say; Letter to the Ladies (Learn Assertive Training and Diplomatic means with your Mother-in-law)
What is Assertive Training?
This is a Psychological process in which you learn how to express your views without being rude or suggestive to second or third party. This being said, the Mother-in-law/Daughter-in-law "beef" or dispute is a Universal Phenomenon which has caused a lot of problems and ended a lot of happy marriages and relationships. Some of these disputes have led to verbal abuse, shouting matches, fights over territory in the kitchen, disagreement over naming of children and even Physical confrontations between Mothers and Daughters-in-law.
For you to understand any situation you have to go to its origin, ladies take note, before you came into the equation, the apple of your bae's eye and his number one protector was his mother who he showered with love and affection and then you came into the picture and suddenly all the attention shifted from his mother to you. This change is a process, naturally there will be some tension because it takes some time for mothers in-law to get used to the fact that their sons are no longer 100% theirs and they have to share him, or permission has to be sort on certain things in his life which they usually did directly or without question.
Ladies, you need to learn to be diplomatic with your mothers in-law because you have more to lose than them. Pick your battles, most times, your boyfriend or husband will take his mom's side if any dispute arises. Let me also say that no amount of Diplomacy or Assertive Training will help you if your man is a "Mommy's Boy" and can't handle his mom or if his mom doesn't like you. Therefore, if you're in this situation where your man can not defend you or hold your hand, you need to develop a thick skin, have patience and most importantly PRAY. Studies have shown that the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship is one of the most difficult in social psychology and there isn't any clear cut solution or approach towards this, because the variables always differ i.e different mothers/daughters-in-law have different cultural backgrounds, personalities and family structures. Dear Ladies, may you not fall into a bad mother-in-law situation. However, learn to adapt to your environment and also learn how to manage such delicate relationship in a diplomatic way. Dear mothers in-law, with due respect, I appeal to you to use your wealth of experience to deal with your daughters in-law in tactful ways, for the benefit of your son towards maintaining a happy married life..