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I Loved You But I Took To My Heels!




It probably wasn't but it was a lot like love at first sight. 

How could I tell? It was the chemistry, the electricity that's felt by two people at that first meeting. I wouldn't even bother talking about it; the intense attraction, some primal need to hold and be held by that one person, an immediate build up of affection. And that's how it was with *Chimdi and I. 

And the day we first spoke, I couldn't believe my good fortune. But on the first date Chimdi, feeling that (thing that felt like) love thought he could tell me ALL about him, and he did, I couldn't believe one man's misfortune. 

The things Chimdi told me scared the hell out of me, how cultists killed his girlfriend when they couldn't find him, how his family locked him up and made him swear an oath in a shrine when his aunt accused him of raping and impregnating her, how his businesses failed one after the other, how the buses he bought for a tranportation business all either got burnt or stolen one after the other, how while driving one of the buses one of his bus drivers died in the fire incident and the deceased's family came after him and had him locked up, how he himself had been in an auto accident and was lucky to still be alive. He told me so much and with each story I felt that thing that felt like love slowly ebb away. 

Still I wouldn't walk away just like that, I stayed a little longer. I thought to myself that all that misfortune must have been some phase in the past. Turns out I was wrong. Now not only were things just never smooth with him, he was never without an unhappy tale or a dour mood. Not long later I realized that somehow I wasn't as sunny as I used to be, somehow there was always a grey cloud hanging over my head and some heavy weight in my heart. It didn't take long for me to realize that the new addition to my life was, although very good hearted, loving and kind, was a very toxic person, without meaning to be...

For the sake of my happiness and peace of mind I slowly withdrew from him and broke things off. He never quite knew why and would often beg, saying he just needed to know, he just needed closure. How could I say "Chimdi I left you because it seems you have too much bad luck in, above and around you, and I felt like I was drowning in your flood of unhappiness and misfortune"? How could I say "Chimdi I left because your constant moodiness and unending sadness made my mouth bitter, made me depressed, and my sense of self-preservation kicked in and forced me to run for my life"? I couldn't say any of that so I lied; "I realized I'm still in love with my ex and you really deserve someone who loves you as much as you love them".  


A few years later I found myself bringing a friendship to an abrupt end. She always had one sad tale or the other, it seemed things just kept going wrong with her. She seemed to be a very unlucky person, nothing ever went well for her, everything she turned turned to ashes, and dear Lord I didn't want any of that. 
     I'm not saying I would walk out of the life of anyone who has got issues or challenges, all I'm saying is when your life is one issue,  challenge, misfortune and sorrow after the other, and when you walk around with your eyes vacant, your shoulders drooping, your face sullen and your heart dark, I'd worry for myself and create some distance. 

In my defence, it's already a struggle sometimes keeping my heart light and my fortune bright, I really don't want to have it dimmed any further. 

And it turns of Robert Greene agrees with me, it's the 10th Law of Power after all. 

But what say you, how do you cope with a person who's perpetually filled with misery and misfortune?

Comments

  1. I just tend to stay away especially if its a boyfriend.....for frnds if i love you soo much we will have to find a permanent solution cos i cnt deal n if i have to stay away from a Friend i will tell you the real reason why
    This things really transfer to you without your knowledge

    ReplyDelete
  2. Everyone has issues, in big and small measures but they shouldn't whine about it at every point to just anyone. Even when we share our innermost fears with people closest to us, it should not be with total air of helplessness because the truth is negativity repels. If after subtle encouragement, berating the person sef and he or still carries on with that sort of energy around me, I will rearrange myself o. Personally, I am choosy with words I speak up to the kind of songs I listen to. If the lyrics are curse-filled or just unpleasant language, I don't bother.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oyinlola! Welcome back!!!! I missed you!!!! :*

      And Ruthy! You too! You ran away bah? Issokay! Welcome back too.

      Mr Wale... i'm still expecting you! :)

      Delete
    2. Kabuoy make I no flog U oh. LOL

      But i'll react just like F.

      Delete
    3. Ruthy!!! Seriously nah! Where you run go nah! Oya flog me!!! Floooog meee!!!! Hehehehee! *kisses*

      Delete
    4. Yeye Pikin... Kiss na 14yrs biko.
      Let's do plenty hugs!!!

      Delete
    5. Lmaoooo! That's fine!!! Lol!

      Delete
  3. Just like you I take a walk especially if the person is always sad and depressed. I just can't deal. I try to be happy always inspite of difficulties so its hard for me to hang out with a perpetually sad person. I hope that doesn't maKe me a bad person.

    ReplyDelete
  4. We're all trying to make the most out of our lives and it includes brightening oneself up when the dark clouds are over-head. So, for someone that wallows in the dark cloud I'm doing my best to keep at bay to try attaching herself/himself to me is a no no biko. I will distance myself.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Simple: after trying to help you find solutions and I see that you are not helping yourself, I will leave.

    I once had a boyfriend I had to leave out-rightly and a lot of people wanted to crucify me for walking away from him. It happened that he was deported from the UK and had to leave his wife and kids behind - illegal stay issue. His wife who was smarter (started schooling) left him and controlled his relationship with their kids. He was lucky to find a meaningful job in Nigeria when he got back but was always mopping about his inability to relate with his kids as desired. Worse still, his mum had cancer and had a few months to live.

    Now, those two situations were not my problem with him but he allowed them to affect him so much that he lost his job and any sense of direction he had. I tried all I could - morally, spiritually and financially but I saw that instead of him getting up and dusting himself especially after his mum's passing, he delved more into self-pity. He got another job and lost it. A third job, but lost it as well - in quick succession. It got to a stage that I had to ask myself what meaning the relationship had for me - zero! I had to take a walk and have never looked back. Good thing is my leaving him, painful as it was to him (reason people called for my head), jolted him back to his senses; at least he admitted it 'woke him up. He moved to the FCT and is doing well for himself.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
  6. Babe I can't blive u used my real name for this post.. U used things I told u in confidence to bring traffic to your blog! How could u??? U are wicked .. Wen my friend told me I thot he was messing around ! I can't blive this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ghen Ghen Ghen! Gbege don shele

      Uncle Chimdi we are very sorry,please forgive us.

      Delete
    2. Sick smone, claiming to be Chimdi!!!

      Delete
    3. Some people are just pathetic shaa..trying to create a "presence" they don't have. Chai!!..chimdi or whatever the name is...u need help.

      Delete

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