It probably wasn't but it was a lot like love at first sight.
How could I tell? It was the chemistry, the electricity that's felt by two people at that first meeting. I wouldn't even bother talking about it; the intense attraction, some primal need to hold and be held by that one person, an immediate build up of affection. And that's how it was with *Chimdi and I.
And the day we first spoke, I couldn't believe my good fortune. But on the first date Chimdi, feeling that (thing that felt like) love thought he could tell me ALL about him, and he did, I couldn't believe one man's misfortune.
The things Chimdi told me scared the hell out of me, how cultists killed his girlfriend when they couldn't find him, how his family locked him up and made him swear an oath in a shrine when his aunt accused him of raping and impregnating her, how his businesses failed one after the other, how the buses he bought for a tranportation business all either got burnt or stolen one after the other, how while driving one of the buses one of his bus drivers died in the fire incident and the deceased's family came after him and had him locked up, how he himself had been in an auto accident and was lucky to still be alive. He told me so much and with each story I felt that thing that felt like love slowly ebb away.
Still I wouldn't walk away just like that, I stayed a little longer. I thought to myself that all that misfortune must have been some phase in the past. Turns out I was wrong. Now not only were things just never smooth with him, he was never without an unhappy tale or a dour mood. Not long later I realized that somehow I wasn't as sunny as I used to be, somehow there was always a grey cloud hanging over my head and some heavy weight in my heart. It didn't take long for me to realize that the new addition to my life was, although very good hearted, loving and kind, was a very toxic person, without meaning to be...
For the sake of my happiness and peace of mind I slowly withdrew from him and broke things off. He never quite knew why and would often beg, saying he just needed to know, he just needed closure. How could I say "Chimdi I left you because it seems you have too much bad luck in, above and around you, and I felt like I was drowning in your flood of unhappiness and misfortune"? How could I say "Chimdi I left because your constant moodiness and unending sadness made my mouth bitter, made me depressed, and my sense of self-preservation kicked in and forced me to run for my life"? I couldn't say any of that so I lied; "I realized I'm still in love with my ex and you really deserve someone who loves you as much as you love them".
A few years later I found myself bringing a friendship to an abrupt end. She always had one sad tale or the other, it seemed things just kept going wrong with her. She seemed to be a very unlucky person, nothing ever went well for her, everything she turned turned to ashes, and dear Lord I didn't want any of that.
I'm not saying I would walk out of the life of anyone who has got issues or challenges, all I'm saying is when your life is one issue, challenge, misfortune and sorrow after the other, and when you walk around with your eyes vacant, your shoulders drooping, your face sullen and your heart dark, I'd worry for myself and create some distance.
In my defence, it's already a struggle sometimes keeping my heart light and my fortune bright, I really don't want to have it dimmed any further.
And it turns of Robert Greene agrees with me, it's the 10th Law of Power after all.
But what say you, how do you cope with a person who's perpetually filled with misery and misfortune?