"Nigerians in general tend to focus on trivial issues when it comes to marriage. “She too sabi turn up” “Her packaging is too ghen ghen; will she listen to me?” Everything too dey intimidate our men. I don’t blame them but the culture which promotes fragile egos. Every small thing is a threat to their masculinity."
Isn't it the most fascinating thing ever I read this comment (on Bella Naija) and listened to four adult ladies complain about the men of this generation and the bullshit we have to put up with?...
Earlier today I decided to go pay my friend a visit at Lagos Law School. She shares her room with three other ladies so in all they're four. My friend is in her mid thirties, one of the ladies is in her late thirties and a mother of three, the other lady is in her mid twenties, about twenty five and then the last is in her early twenties, 22 maybe. When I got there they were all working really hard and focusing intently on a Criminal Litigation assignment they have to turn in tomorrow. They had to draft the charges for several offenses and they looked positively stressed.
I knew the feeling too well, so I jejely tiptoed into the room, stuffed my weave into a hairnet, pulled off my clothes (I hate clothes. Ugh!), lay on my friend's bed and reached for my ipad. I bought my friend some snacks, pastry and drinks from Ebeano and I handed them to her and her roomies but they disregarded my bags of goodies, the assignment was a 'do or die' affair.
But a few minutes later someone's phone rang and it was "that her annoying boyfriend" and when the phone ended with a loud hiss, it was as though that was clue for "close all your books and let the bitching begin!"
Hell, the things men have turned us ladies into in this world! Everybody had a story to tell, everyone had battle scars and tales of woe, everyone had curses for one man or the other, the married woman included! I listened to them rant and rant, as though they'd been holding all this pent up frustration and grievances inside for ages and someone suddenly opened the gates.
Each one of us in the room is in a relationship, and as we're all different ages, we all had different mindsets, ideologies and opinions, but there were some opinions which I noticed everyone seemed to share.
Men of this GENERATION. Our rants goes thus;
Men of this GENERATION are SPOILT.
Men of this GENERATION like attention, even more than women.
Men of this GENERATION want you to leave all you're doing and baby them when things aren't going too well for them, but somehow this gesture seems to elude them when you're the one dealing with issues.
Men of this GENERATION want a woman who's independent, works hard, makes her own money, yet gets home before him to cook his food, heat his water, clean the home and make the bed before he gets back. So that The King that he is, comes back home after a long stressful day, which Mrs Hardworking also experienced (but that really doesn't matter) and just chills... Men of this GENERATION!
Men of this GENERATION do NOT know what they want!
Men of this GENERATION have a strong yet misguided sense of entitlement.
Men of this GENERATION want you to be their cook, mother, sex slave, therapist, friend, maid, adviser and lover, yet Men of this GENERATION are not sure what they have to offer you in return for this; their last name, maybe? Yes, the almighty gift of "Mrs".
Men of this GENERATION know only one thing in the Bible; "Women must submit".
Men of this GENERATION are threatened by strong women. An assertive woman is not a submissive woman is not wifey material. *smh*
Men of this GENERATION change the minute they get married, it's as though they resent you for accepting to take that last name which they dangled before your eyes like a very ripe cherry, which probably explains why even those who were homebodies pre-wedding, become night crawlers post-wedding, always hopping from one bar to the other till night turns to day, as if there's something chasing them away from home,
I listened patiently, as patiently as someone could listen to four women talking over each other. The assignments were forgotten, the fact that they'd just brought the light and they needed to immediately straighten their clothes for the week, was suddenly irrelevant, the discussion group meeting a couple of them had to attend could wait. We were discussing something of seemingly greater import, an obvious source of greater concern; Men of this GENERATION.
So while all that was said may not have been apt, I'm wondering if you agree with any of it, I'd like to know which you agree or disagree with, and your general views on Nigerian men in modern day relationships and marriages.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Let's talk a little about YOUR own partner, do you find that stereotypes (about men and women of today) apply to your significant other, or they're just mere myths.
Yet, need I say that there are still some good men with their heads screwed on right? Yes there are, I'm glad I have one, although we do need to screw that head a li'l tighter. LOL.