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Mrs 'What's Yours Is Ours. What's Mine Is Mine'.





 @conniegirlswag posted this on Instagram today and I found the comments very interesting. Most of them screamed NO to the poster, and while I didn't exactly disagree, I couldn't help but wonder if the perception or opinions would be the same if it's the wife who needed the funds and the husband was the beneficiary of a large inheritance. 

Read and share your thoughts. 





In this lady's shoes, what would you do?

Btw @conniegirlswag isn't the one with the issue, the poster is anonymous. 

Comments

  1. If I was in her shoes,I would make sure he includes my name in the business and then just maybe I could help him with half of the money he needs to execute the contract and he would sort for the rest himself, he has become a hussy and not a boyfriend, so I could close my eyes and take certain risk knowing fully well he might not bail away with the money since we are both married.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Married or unmarried, any man can bail o! So if it's cuz of the "married".. think again dear maybel!

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    2. Kabouy, any man can bail but I think it's a bit difficult to bail when the nuptial knot is tied and sealed in a court of law n Dats yy I said I could risk half Of the money because marriage ain't about you alone but both of you when u get married, certain things change u know,u help each other n take decision together.

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    3. Don't mind me jare! I realize i'm probably talking like this because i'm not married... when "love" wie come and block someone's senses now... abi the thought of what wie become of your home or what married people are suppose to do... *sigh*

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  2. I m very sure I won't. I wudnt allow it ruin my relatinshp either, am just gon come up with a very smart excuse with the help of my mom probably cos my mom can be sharp for africa, it ll b very polite and appropriate.

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  3. Wow. So if it flops, u lose your inheritance??? Scratches head. This is quite difficult o. Why isn't he using the house you both live in to apply? Hhe should have asked you na, like discussed it with you, not thinking it over then telling you. Scratches head again. But that is actually how marriage should be o. Trusting each other completely with all you have. This one na puzzle puhlease.

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  4. I don't know who I was telling this "my money is my money and your money is our money" to and he wanted to finish me! Lmao!

    This is a very dicey situation tho. He is her husband.
    Nonetheless, I won't FOOLISHLY "invest" my inheritance. Men can be funny.. if he dies(God forbid) his family members.... those ones can be "hilarious"(if u know what I mean) No one would remember I "invested" my inheritance in any deal. See Sheila Ade Williams in Tinsel.(lol) Not exactly the same situation but close and see where it landed her. Marriage shouldn't blind anyone abeg. Invest with your eyes open and your brains in full function! If I am not comfortable with the deal. I will NOT invest! Lai lai! Iya kabuoy sef will finish me if I try anything stupid. She did not raise a foolish daughter! I have my children and my future to think about.
    In fact... I have to get a strong leading(a strong knowing, peace in my heart, hear God's voice loud and clear, before I invest (half or my entire inheritance) in any deal o) Lol! I cannot "come and go and" gamble away my future! Lai lai! Lol.

    But that's how money destroys some homes o! Chai!

    Wisdom is profitable to direct...

    Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! And whatever else you do, develop good judgment.(NLT)

    I rise...

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  5. Chai, ds is quite some difficult situation here. But no matter wat, she shud neva part wt all d moni not to talk of d landed ppties. Make she give am like 50 grand

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  6. Nne I say a big HELL NO!! I won't advice you to give your husband your inheritance for a business you r not certain will yield returns. But govt bonds or put it in a fixed deposit till you figure out what you want to do.

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  7. Her first problem is she talks too much. Why the hell does the husband know every penny the father left her? Nigeria is an environment where seemingly normal people lose their minds.

    She can give him half, but she better damn well know the guy probably has issues. I dont trust men who work for their fathers- it reeks of low level ambition, unless your father is dangote, go and get ur own damn hustle. She should also make sure the house that was bequeathed to him is used as a collateral for the loan. Even risk.

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just love love this comment. Thank you pynk360, God bless you.
      Heaven knows that I won't tell him what my dad left me. Umu nwoke, iyah! He won't tell her if the reverse was the case. Biko keep thy inheritance to yourself and kids. Thank you!

      Delete
  8. The fact is that he is my husband and partner so saying no out rightly is not an option. Like all partnership we must weigh the pros and cons. I'll invest part of the money in his business but if he needs extra collateral then we put up the house we are living in. Shared risks works in every partnership. As we share risks, we must also agree on how to share the profit as per investment. J

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with you J. Marriage is a patnership and if you cant help your husband stand on his own, who ll u then help, i believe in sharing everything in marriage, if i dont trust u, we wont be married at all, marriage has no true meaning if there is no selfless love and trust, if i dont ve that, i ll rather stay single biko. If i dont give him all the money, it ll be because i dont want us to run into financial troubles in future not because i dont trust him or i see myself as different from him, we ll talk about it, weigh our options and then take the best decision.

      Delete
    2. Well said @ J and Ifunanya.

      I believe in marriage it is always good to look at finances from the 'we' perspective as against the 'I' perspective. It is a partnership and each party should seek the interest of the partnership against individual interest. The preceeding statement of course answers one of your questions. Yes, it is being selfish not considering the fact you live in a house provided by him. And definitely, it'd affect your relationship - every action does. It might not necessarily have an immediate consequence.

      Let me preface my opinion by assuming that you have a functional marriage that love, trust, accountability and other desirable ingredients are the bedrock of your marriage.

      I'd hate to disagree with your mother but the inheritance isn't all you have. All you have is YOU and it consists of weightier concerns like your life, your heart, your passion and interest, your marriage ...... If you think not, you could as well get married to the inheritance.

      Now here's what might be the unselfish thing to do - Learn of your husband's business - the prospects, the challenges, the opportunities, etc. If need be, seek professional help. Based on your knowledge and how much you are staking on the venture, you can demand to be named a partner and have the appropriate rights (if he loves you, that shouldn't be too hard a demand to fulfill). Essentially, you might not need to stake all the monies, better still, you shouldn't stake all because the Nigerian business environment can be very harsh but then you shouldn't shy in doing the needful. Also, try to learn of your husband, his character and also attitude towards money before sealing any deal or going into any partnership.

      It's okay to be concerned about your money. I just think that concern should drive you to minimize any undesired risk that might occur by planning for it.

      P.S.
      Whether she inherited the money, was bequeather, earned it, was given etc. The underlying item is that it is her money now. She shouldn't indulge in aggrandizing how she came into the money at the detriment of what she can effectively use the money for.

      Oddly convenient how we didn't seem to touch on the issue if the roles were reversed. I'd be willing to give my husband if I were in the lady's shoes provided he has a good grasp of the business venture.

      Delete
  9. I agree with J and ifunanya...I mean if it was the other way round the answers will be yes give her,she should give him half just to avoid risking everything incase it doesn't work out atleast there's something remaining

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  10. Lol,i think the topic of this post shld hv been: "How much info shld u tell ur spouse" or "Wld u tell ur spouse if ur were left with a huge inheritance".
    One thing I know about people is this; the minute they know u have money,the second they have a reason to beg/ask for the money (in whatever format possible)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gbam!!!
      Daalu Sasha bone...

      Delete
  11. No... especially if you have the kind of inlaws I have. Every money they think its their son's so they have every right to it.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Give him the amount you intended to dash him from your inheritance but don't let him know you already planned to dash it to him so he will view it as your support towards his deal. And woman, you have a damn big mouth, how da heck did you go on yapping about the size of your inheritance in money and property huh?

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  13. Sipping my Coffee!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I wouldn't advise her not to give him as it may cause problems, she should decide based on her past experience with him dealing with cash

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  15. Tricky one Il say give him half and make sure ur a business partner

    ReplyDelete
  16. Knowing fully well that it's my own money, I'll gladly assist my husband. We're in it together. I'm sure he'll gladly do same if it was me. A lot of people need to understand the concept of marriage. Bible says the "two shall become one". As a married person, there's no "I". That word went with singlehood. I'll advice her to risk it.

    ReplyDelete
  17. All those people saying ' atleast the house u live in is his, so you should share the money with him'...abeg is he not the head of the family? is he not supposed to provide for his family....so as his wife, bicos he provides accommodation for me and his children, he has done wonders (Longgggest hissssss ever).
    As for parting with my inheritance for his bizness, fa fa fowl. What about if nothing comes out of the biz? To help our 'partnership' as a married couple, i'll help with a quarter of the money, and dats all.
    Do not put all ur eggs into one basket abeg, cus if a disease like bird flu comes along, I sorry sorry for u.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I don't know what I would do....I would pray first of all. Because I know if my husband should get such money i would expect to benefit from it

    ReplyDelete

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