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Much Ado About Instagram Likes!




What greater misfortune can befall someone in these days of the Generation Y? There are ten worst misfortunes I can I think of in life and among those 10 one of them has got to be posting a picture on Instagram and not getting enough or any likes. 


...You wear your Sunday best, then you walk to your friend's crib, that one with the expensive looking mahogany door and interlocked floors, you know, you can't have people knowing that your house is gated by iron burglary proof... You probably don't even tell her you're coming, you're incessant popping up at her door step is beginning to irritate her and you've noticed. You ask the maigaurd if she's home and he says yes, then you tell him, wait first, please help me take some pictures. 

You strike a variety of poses, do a variety of pouts; the duck lips, sticking your lower lip out like a petulant baby, pushing your both lips out so you look like a cute toddler that you're most obviously not. You almost look epileptic striking those poses in lightening-quick succession; you need to get as many as possible before you get 'caught'. You stick your hip out as far as it could possibly be stuck out; you cannot afford waist trainers yet and God didn't bless you with natural curves, and how dare you post pictures on Instagram with no body curves, isn't that the point of Instagram? The maiguard is getting irritated just like your friend the home owner but he knows a hundred naira or two would come out from this, so he tries to be patient. 

Back home you begin the process of sifting the wheat from the chaff. The maiguard must have taken about ninety pictures in all, turns out they're all chaff!!! You're deleting this chaff one after the other, hoping you'll get a few grains of wheat. You delete and delete and you're left with almost nothing, these few still look like chaff but they've got potential, no matter how faint. 

But there's a God somewhere and the evidence of this is in that great thing called FILTERS! Alas the day is saved!

You pick that single grain of wheat and edit the life out of it it to within an inch of it's original form. You look nothing like the person in this picture. This picture is what you wish you look like but know you will never look like in reality... And isn't that just perfect for Instagram?!

Then your heart begins to race as you click and upload. Wait!!! Hashtags! You need hashtags... You need to sound smart and forward-thinking yet playful and witty. Hmmmm, let's see; #iwokeuplikethis #youlivelifebutonce #flawless #nofilter #beautyandbiggerbrains #gidiliving #morningrose #happypeople #iknowyoucare #idontfuckwithyou

Then you post. 

It's been ten minutes and not one person has liked your picture. You decide to stay calm, you choose to think positively, you remind yourself that your laundry is still waiting and with a smile on your face you get right to it, no doubt when you return your picture would have garnered soooooooo many likes, maybe your followers weren't on IG those few minutes ago. 

Two hours later you return, you heart is racing, your palms are sweaty, your mouth is dry but there's a smile on your face; positive thoughts only. You open your IG and somehow expect to be knocked down by a barrage of notifications. But there's just the one. 

Two hours and just one like. Only one like. One like in two hours.

Your heart plummets, your smile fades, your eyes water, you begin to question the meaning of your life. You begin to wonder who you are and why you're a nobody, why others get so many likes and why it seems you're invisible. Or am I invisible? You wonder. Yes, maybe I have cobweb spirit covering my glory, just like that pastor said. Maybe I need deliverance, that's why my light is never shining. 

Yes Prayer City here I come. My pictures must be liked by fayaaaaaaaaaaa!


...
The things that people would do for Instagram likes though... And why is it this way? Why have we become a generation that attaches no importance to the way our neighbours and colleagues feel about us, yet seek validation from strangers? Why has that one act which requires no effort at all, a mere double tap, come to mean so much to some people, the very essence of their existence?

My friend has been on bad terms with another friend of hers and when I asked why, she listed a number of reasons and ended it with "... And she never likes my pictures on Instagram". 

Oh wow!

People, please there's more to life than Instagram likes, ok? But while we're on the topic please follow me on Instagram @thelmathinks and remember to like my pictures. Haha!


Comments

  1. Na wa o. I'm not even on instagram and I follow like 10 people on twitter with 7 followers. My life is still great. To change dp on bbm is wahala. J

    ReplyDelete
  2. Can I just ROTFLMSAO?
    Like is this even an issue? Errrmmm, Thelma Like for Life?
    I'll follow U now. LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is it true your church does not allow you to vote?

      Delete
    2. Hmmm. Ruthylicious is it true?

      Delete
    3. She's a J.Witness and since time immemorial it's been a known fact that their beliefs don't support voting. They are politically neutral just like Catholics believe in the trinity (though there are religions which beg to differ). So it's a way of life, not like the individuals are given stern warnings not to vote.

      Delete
    4. Thanks G.

      But to the Anons, I honestly no longer discuss Religious issues on social media. It leads to hate & insults most times. If u need an explanation, send me a mail, i'll definitely reply personally. Thanks, myrtwo@yahoo.com

      Delete
    5. Really?! A friend of mine told me he won't vote because he is a JW(jokingly tho) and I laughed sooo hard. I thought he was just picking on JWs cuz they don't celebrate birthdays and things like that. Wow. I didn't know sha.... anyway, now I know. :)

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  3. Thank Goodness I am not on instagram,i hear about all the drama there and for now I would just pass..make una like thelma's pics please follow her ohh...lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too jor!.. Buh Thelma u re one funny gurl. "My pictures must be liked! Fayaaaaaa" ROTFL! ROTFL!

      Delete
  4. Thelma no be lie you talk o! I know someone that takes it personal when her friends don't like her picks on Instagram. She called them enemies of progress

    ReplyDelete
  5. The wahala instagram can cause is just alarming

    ReplyDelete
  6. I love instagram. It gives you hints about people and how they see themselves. There are also a few fun accounts - fashiondads_ who make fun of fashionistas and tagthesponsors who expose instamodels who are merely high class prostitutes who tensio others with pictures of loubs on private jets.

    the sad thing about instagram is too many people dont understand its a tool to be used, not one to use them. There are people making money on instagram. ..go figure

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    ReplyDelete
  7. Lol,Thelma I saw this on ur IG page n u put am here again. NNE u get time. LamaoLamao I can't laff,am on Instagram but hardly put up pix or get likes but what do I caree?Rme

    ReplyDelete
  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Omo, i missed yesterday o.. even today sef.. Anywaiz, tomorrow is another day.

    I didnt know people took IG so personal though i have a friend that gets like over 300 likes everytime she posts a pic.
    Me i dont even take the thing seriously. I've been on for almost a year and have posted maybe 10 pics? Nywaiz, i'll follow you T not sure about likes tho but you'll follow me back o *shines teeth*

    ReplyDelete
  10. The only reason I regret not having an instagram account is cause of the drama I keep hearing people talk about. Would love to sit back and just watch it all unfold**sigh*

    If only.....

    ReplyDelete
  11. Facebook and BBM are enough troubles; can't add instagram except of course, my business plan materializes.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
  12. According to my sister , my generation is no longer on Instagram, it's now the uni chicks that are On Instagram, I hv been there done that with Facebook , I love Instagram for the makeup and style tips

    ReplyDelete
  13. Instagram just gives one a false feeling of being wanted and loved, whereas the true friends are out there in d real world, bcos when one is in need,the "instagram friends" are nowhere to be found. Rather unfortunate.
    Whether u like my pic or not, It doesn't bother me. What matters is how great I feel about myself. Shikena!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I'm referring to "Instagram likes"

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hian, to change display picture on bbm is a strenuous task for and I barely use my picture sef, then I will now come and kill myself for Instagram. Told the people that asked me why am not on instagram that the only way am going on instagram is if my hands are tied to my phone and a gun to my head. Twitter is enough (am not even that active on it).

    ReplyDelete
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