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Remember That Time We Lost 40kg? (Photos)




That's what I asked myself this morning after looking at my chubby face and even chubbier belly. Nwando do you remember? Yes, of course I remember. 

And you know how when blog readers say Thelma if you really want to lose weight do this and do that? I laugh because I've been there and done that before. I did it and I lost a shit load of weight. Maybe what I did wrong was that I listened to them when they said "God, you're too thin! Put some weight back on". These were the same people who begged me to lose weight in the first place.
     Some nights I'd sit down and get a bit depressed wondering how I could please people. I was fat, they begged, forced and bullied me to lose weight. I lost weight and they said I was sick, neighbours came to comfort me, one doctor in the neightbourhood asked if I was taking my anti-retro viral drugs, my mother; the number One proponent of the Nwando Lose Weight movement became very frightful and began to call me nwa nnunu. Nwa nnunu is a very tiny bird with small bones. So every time I walked into a room she would begin to sing "nwa nnunu, nwa nnunu nta, tulu zaza, tulu za" I have no idea what it means, but it was another way to shame me into eating more food and gaining weight. 

Back in the east people began to talk. They said I had a terminal disease. I'll never forget the look on Cheritta's face one day she saw me after a few months, it's the alarmed look you have when you see a formerly robust and healthy friend look emaciated and ravaged from impoverishment and disease. 

Chocolate would also look at me funny and occasionally tell me I looked sick. Chocolate's mum, who like my mum once complained terribly that I was too fat, began to complain terribly that I was too thin. I remember telling her one day "But momsi I eat rice everyday just so that I can add weight" and she said to me "If you eat rice everyday then you won't be looking like this". 

Everyone talked, I lost my boyfriend who thought I had a terrible disease. I lost the men that used to be on my case. I stopped having 'toasters'. I remember complaining to my mum on a number of occasions; "men don't toast me anymore. Nobody is even asking me out right now. Mummy there's never not been a time in my adult life that at least three men want to date me, but since I lost weight no man in interested in me". And that was the truth. 

This was after I'd lost over 30kg. I still got thinner than this but I have no pictures of that time.


It was bitter sweet. 
Sweet, because I did what they asked me to; lose weight. I was skinny, I had no problem finding my size when shopping, and I thought I felt more confident (before the skinny-shaming began).

Bitter, because; I remember when Jibola, the number 2 proponent of the Nwando Lose Weight movement once told me "babe stop this weight loss nonsense. You are not fine at all, you're just tall. You just look like a tall village girl, there is nothing attractive about you anymore". 

Bitter, because my love ran away from me. I remember the day he came to see me with his friends and we got into an argument. We got into too many arguments then because my intense weight loss disgusted him and everything about me began to irritate him, so every little thing led to a fight. 
      I remember raising my voice and yelling in the presence of his friends and then one said to him "Nwoke m, why are we here? I thought it was your girlfriend we came to see. Where is Nwando?". Jesus, I wanted to die! Had I changed so drastically that these men didn't know who I was anymore? You should have seen the looks on their faces when bae told made a hand gesture towards me and said "Look at her here!". Then he looked at me to say "you see what I've been telling you?"  

Bitter because the other guy I'd wanted to date came back into town after some months and walked passed me when he saw me. When I called him he said "No, you can't be Nwando". And that's how he couldn't even sit down for lunch with me. And that's how I stopped hearing from him. LOL. 

Bitter  because my mum used to get a bit embarassed when we had guests and would rather I stay in the room so she wouldn't have to explain to them that "No, Nwando isn't sick, she's just..."  

Bitter because my siblings were constantly finding creative ways to shame me into gaining weight and sometimes it hurt real bad. 

Anyways...

I remember that time we lost 40kg and it was bittersweet. So sometimes I look at my orobo body and I say to myself, just do you and be healthy. There's no pleasing anyone in this world. BUT I know I've really got to work on this beautiful body of mine, I've just got to do it right this time. 


Comments

  1. Huh?? Are those you?? O.o???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol@ sasha
      Nice write-up. What struck me most was the statement: *just do you and be healthy* .soo true!!..self-love is the best gift you can give to urself.

      Delete
    2. Lol@ sasha
      Nice write-up. What struck me most was the statement: *just do you and be healthy* .soo true!!..self-love is the best gift you can give to urself.

      Delete
  2. Thelma... I totally understand. when I graduated in 2013... I was trim et al. I wasn't even making my hair. Some said I look like a 12yr old.. some said I look like a Jss3 gal and not a graduate. Fast forward to 2014 after camp... clothes began to fit... I started getting rounder.. my cheeks.. ooo my cheeks! lmaoo! Rosier.. my face rounder... bumbum... hahaha.. boobs... hehe! my jackets began to feel and look right. My skirts and gowns.. lmao! Need I say more? I began to look and feel like a "woman". The only person that hated the idea of me adding weight from the outset was my dad. Every other person.. aww you've changed.. you look nice... later it became! ha! Watch it o! You're fat! You're obese! You need to hit the gym...
    I'v not lost the weight o(or maybe I lost some but gained it back after orientation program.. thanks to plenty 'ijekuje') lol. but iv not let myself feel any less beautiful. I put on my clothes, look into the mirror, tell myself "you're beautiful" "you're intelligent" "you're going places" and I move on.
    I eventually hit the gym, not because anyone thinks i'm fat or i'm overweight but because I wanted to control my weight gain so as not to just become "Iya roboto" I like how I look now. Regardless of what anyone thinks.
    Some people think they can have an opinion about how you should look(even though some have good intentions) but sometimes it has the negative effect. But like you said. Just do you! And you'll be fine! So when momsy calls me lepacious kabuoy... I smile and answer her. or sunshine calls me orobo... I laugh it off.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol,kabouy u know that feeling, when I hit the gym cause everyone including my boss then was complaining of my weight gain,I went on strict diet,ohh I spent money, I just wanted to please everyone and when I got to that size 8,everyone started shouting, haaaaa Mabel ti ni aids ohhhh,haaaa mama chichi wetin do ur pikin,hiannnn I got tired,I left myself, I moved to a new area,I couldn't keep my job due to distance from my new place,I stayed at home 3 good months before I got another job and ohh that changed me,sleeping and waking up and allthat and from 60kg I went to my present weight of 80kg and everyone is complaining ahhh mabel see ur hips,shey u know u not tall,u getting to look like Amstel malt bottle, ohhj I cried when my uncle called me that,and I just sat down and said no way,I ain't taking this from anyone and now I hit the gym and watching my diet,not for anyone like kabouy said but for myself and to look healthy and sexy for myself. Thelma, just stay healthy, shed some weight and stay healthy for urself and not for anyone, my mum calls me akpa akpu cos of my present weight even though I have a flat tommy. Lol.

      Delete
    2. I forgot to add,I just lost 4kg and am excited Uhhhhhh. Kabouy don't get jealous. Lol

      Delete
    3. Lmaooo! No I won't be jealous! It's fine!

      Delete
  3. I remember it Thelma. To be honest you looked sick, people with big bones are not meant to be too thin.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I absolutely feel like I wrote this. Imagine being 15 and having such comments: You are bigger than your mum. My mum would stand me in front of a mirror and compare us both. So began my body and self esteem issues. In the last two years, I have been working out and lost a lot of weight. I deliberately gained a little back when I looked at pictures and saw a sick looking person, just enough that I am happy with myself.
    My mum calls my husband to complain about the weight loss and ask him to convince me to gain the weight back.
    You can't please everyone. Just be you, in a healthy manner. I am slowly gaining self confidence and in a happy place. Right now, that is all that matters.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ahh now I know why that guy ran that time lol

    ReplyDelete
  6. There's really no pleasing people just do what you are comfortable with n being healthy shuld be the focus
    People will always talk

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think we let people dictate how we feel too often. I hit 80kg i was uncomfortable. My happy weight going to the gym was 70kg. I went down to 60kg to run a half marathon. People were asking if i was sick. I gained weight back to 65kg which i realise is where i feel my best. This morning i weighed in at 75kg- i suspect some meds i am on. My resolve is to get back to 65kg. So i am starting to diet to get back there. Also getting back on my exercise wagon

    its a question of where you feel most comfortable. So i say find that point and set yourself on the track.

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. You need to lose some weight but do it for you

    ReplyDelete
  9. I looked at pictures of you slim and pictures of you fuller figured and all I see is a beautiful woman. As you said, do you and be healthy. I remember being told I'd be prettier and reach my potential when 'rounder'. Erm, a couple of months ago, without trying, I started shedding the excess weight and my husband says it's sexy. Who knew?

    ReplyDelete
  10. I noticed that striking a balance is hard when a very plus size person starts loosing weight. They usually get carried away and end up looking sick. So it's totally ok and healthy T to shed some weight from your present weight but don't go overboard and do it for you. I love that Nwa nnunu song o. I'v bn singing it all day, reminds of my childhood. The song is a lullaby. J

    ReplyDelete
  11. Nwando o.Please how did you lose 30kg? Please help a sister I am presently watching my diet but I feel i'm not losing weight.Please help!...Anne

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was actually about 45kg. Here's what I did; I COMPLETELY cut out carbs, I COMPLETELY cut out fried food, red meat, chicken skin, soda and EVERY other fluid besides water, some fruit eg bananas, pineapples, mangos. I made my soup and stew with very little oil and it always had to be olive oil. For soup that required palm oil I made WITHOUT any oil (yes, it was that extreme). No meals after 6pm, not even fruits, nuts or raisins. No cereals, not even fibers or oats. No bread, biscuit crackers, not even wheat bread. So basically all I ate during that period was green salad (without any dressing), beans with tomatoes, ukwa, moi moi, agidi, steamed greens with boiled chicken, vegetable soup without oil and very green unripe plantain with tomatoes. I never ate out because I had to prepare all meals myself, all my meals were in tiny portions. In two years I didn't taste a pinch of bread, a grain of sugar, a drop of Fanta or juice, a bite of cake, a spoon of rice, a piece of cracker, a piece of suya, a spoon of ice cream... Nothing. I have no idea where I got that discipline from, it was like something possessed me, especially because I never planned it, it just started one day and had people not started calling me "Anorexia-bulimia" it would have probably gone on till today.

      Delete
    2. Thelma NNE u really tried, I thought I knew how to diet until I saw this, awwwwww,Dats one hell of determination there,no be beans or moi moi ohhhh. *bbm thumbs up smiley*.

      Delete
  12. So i typed this very long comment and it just disappeared..lol

    Bottom line, Thelma, u're beautiful, find a weigh u like and stay there.

    Kabuoy, i love you no matter your size.

    ReplyDelete
  13. My dear u can't please every body. I had this same experince back in skool. I was a size 12 and people in cluding my parents complained about my weight. I decided to loose d weight but I went about it d wrong way. I started excersisng morning and night 2 hrs each and I ate only fruits and unripe plantain and ugu. No rice, bread! Eba or corn. No meals after 6. I dropped from a 12 to a an8 in less than a month. No be dia all d people wen say I too fat begin complain about my new size. Say I no fine Oo°˚˚˚°! I look sick. My parents calll family meeting say make I tell dem true if I dey sick. In class dem say I get heart break. All my toasters take off! Hmm! @ a point shame cum dey catch me. I had to look for a doctor to prescribe drugs to make me gain back d weight I lost.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I was made to dislike my size 14 while I was in school during my final year. I skipped 500 every morning, drank a cup of lipton tea with a cube of sugar, all before lecture. Small portion of whatever I wanted at lunch then whole pineapple for dinner. Two months later, I was labelled all sorts and got plenty side eyes from my mum. I went back to size 14 and people started yapping again. Now am still a size 14 but well toned and I love me to bits. If my size is a problem to you, kindly swerve off third mainland bridge.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Wow!
    Permit me to be frank: I would take your 'before' shape 100 times over the 'now' shape.

    I experienced almost exactly what you described above (so also a lot of weight-losers) but my reaction was a bit different. Yes, I added back some weight, stopped gym, eat all sorts and I feel like spanking myself but I still watch it. Once I notice my clothes are getting uncomfortably tight, I ensure I adjust my diet.

    I still love to go down to the size which listening to people never make me reach and I plan to damn the consequence after all it's my body.

    Truth is: when people get used to something, it takes time for them to adapt to a drastic change to that thing. Another truth is, we all have different body types, as such, the size that suits A may not suit B hence, we need to try not to go to the extreme in gaining or losing weight.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hmmm... you're beautiful both ways.
    It's interesting how people always feel the need to advise you when you have lost/gained "too much weight".
    I remember losing some weight a few years ago, and receiving similar comments. It pretty much went in one ear and out the other, because they have no idea what it is like to live your life at a weight you are unhappy with. I continued eating my about 1kg of carrots a day, regulating my diet, and exercising twice a day.
    I only stopped when other commitments took over/ I became lazy/complacent.
    Bottom line - do you.

    ReplyDelete
  17. At the end of the day u hv to do what makes u happy

    ReplyDelete
  18. Just do you and be healthy is the line.. T you rock

    ReplyDelete

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