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Thelma Asks; Must Couples Talk To Each Other Everyday?

So, this seemingly trivial issue has become a big deal in my life.
For months (and even years) on end I've heard people complain; girl: he doesn't call me enough. Guy: I don't have to call her everyday for her to know I care. 

I've casually listened to both sides and I've come to the conclusion that females, the naturally more emotional ones not only want affection and attention from the man they love, they want to see it SHOWN, and one of the ways to do this is to call her at least once a day. 

Guys, the more rational ones, on the other hand, have said that the fact that they're in a relationship does not mean that they must call the lady everyday, even if they love her; it's just not necessary. 

My friend didn't call yesterday and this resulted in a spat. I know in his mind he's thinking you don't need to know where I am and what I'm doing at every time of the day and vice versa.  
     And I'm not even saying I do, but I expect to hear from you at least once a day, I feel I shouldn't even have to ask, you SHOULD want to talk to me at least once a day na. LOL. 

Anyways, he says I'm overreacting. I say he doesn't care enough. 

What do you say; must couples in relationships speak to each other everyday? How often do you communicate with your SO?


  1. Yesso, couples must communicate everyday but it should not be a 'stucking' kinda call.

  2. If your not calling each other day then who are you calling?

    1. Hian. my SO and I speak @ least 3 to 4 times a day. I don't understand how someone will date somebody and won't call a whole day. My elder sister and hubby are worse. They can talk like 10times a day, even when they stay in the same house.

    2. Hian. my SO and I speak @ least 3 to 4 times a day. I don't understand how someone will date somebody and won't call a whole day. My elder sister and hubby are worse. They can talk like 10times a day, even when they stay in the same house.

  3. Yea I agree with u Eziuche,yy would I be in a relationship with u n u can't call me at least 5 times in a day?communication is one key ingredient any relationship needs for it's survival.

    1. Great Zeus! 5 times in a day for how many days nne?

    2. Hahahahahahahahahaa! Classic memphis reply!

    3. Hahahahahahahaha! Memphiiiiiiis! Evryday nnaa.u and ur exclamations dem. Great Zeus?

    4. @memephis,,yes ohhhh 5 times daily and betwn dos times I would reciprocate too,is 5times too much? For someone u claim to love?.

  4. WT.. 5 times!? although you should call or text every other day

  5. T this your bobo should behave himself ooo. Why wouldn't he call u at least two times everyday? I'm single but when I'm in a relationship we must talk daily. If we have dated for more than two years then we can reduce it to every other day.

  6. Memphis and Kene, Easah, PunIntended, Uyi and Wale come and talk bcos I want to hear what men have to say about this matter. I am experiencing this same issue, I connot accept that bae will not call me everyday. If he can't call me everyday then who will he call?

    1. So y wud u reduce it? Re u by anychance imposing the see finish syndrome on yasef?

    2. Reduce it how? I don't understand

  7. Talking everyday is important. If he can't call( maybe too broke to buy credit) then he should at least ping or chat or text. And you could do the same. Its played out to think only a man should initiate conversation. That's so 1937 I think....

  8. That isn't even a question to me o. Though I know people's relationships work differently. The SO and I should talk for 5mins-1hr on phone daily. At the very very least 3ce a day.
    when a relationship is new, I'd say be patient to make known your patterns, likes and all. It takes a while to get to work it the way you'd like. Just be persistent, call too and gist a little; ask about work, meals, how they're faring and all. Gradually he too would get used to telling you what's up. Call up and say how your day has been, what you'd be doing, ask his too.
    There's no way it'd feel like stalking if you both are 'into each other'... I think.

  9. Thelma the sexes aren't going to agree on this one. Girls love calls, guys don't share that logic. It doesn't mean love wanes on either side. Unfortunately my SO does the same: "You didn't call me this morning, what knew my break period starts by 12:30 and didn't call...your phone has been off all day, why didn't you charge it...I've been the one calling you for 3 days now...has your BBM subscription expired...?" Haaa...

    1. Lol.. Memphis you're a bad SO! 3days?
      Do you know what that does to a woman's psyche? She'll be thinking all sorts of things meanwhile, you're just there, being a regular guy.
      That aint right. You should call at least, "leastest" least, once a day, to know how her day went, if she already told you all that before, tell her you missed her and just wanted to hear her voice, etc Sha call!

      Men, SMH.. I'll never understand them..

    2. Sunshine it's not as if men don't call or text. We do that, even everyday (I do it everyday). The difference is girls seem to have that conviction that if they don't hear from their men almost every 3 hours, then there's something wrong. I can't explain it...why can't y'all try to understand our own logic about making calls?

      Women, SMH.. I'll never understand them... LMAO.

  10. Communication is neccessary o ,if u r a couple u shuld talk everyday,atleast 3times a day but if u can do more why not

  11. Communication is necessary!!!

    I don't care how, Calls, texts, pings, emails, hell, write a letter but make sure U communicate with me DAILY! Even if na 1 minute oh!
    Communication is the bedrock of every relationship! No compromise biko.
    U weren't out of line Thelma, he's supposed to call daily.

    1. Lmao....write a letter,Ruthy you are so comical

  12. He needs to call excuses abeg.

  13. I agree with mabel oo, 5 times a day!!, i mean it should not even be an issue, when someone says they love you, they should always want to share thr day with you and that should be via calls. A whole day????? Maka why kwanu, even if ur phone was stolen.

    1. This is quite serious sha... 5 times? Daily? Ogaa o...What will I be saying to her by 4pm that hasn't already been said by 7am, 12noon, and 2pm, EVERYDAY?

    2. Lol@ name sake,u right no change am.o ohh h, team five times daily @memphis,u repeat whatever u have said the other times. I nugo?

  14. Yes! communication is key.... We have to talk everyday ooo. Morning before we start our day. I guess i'm lucky cos i wake up to his message every morning. then sometimes during my lunch break and finally at night after work or Uni. Sometimes I purposely refuse to reply to create some tension but he's quite persistent and doesn't feel ashamed to tell me he missed talking with me. *Just what I want*

  15. 5 times, biko that's stalking, I'd get tired. I'm. Girl, and I don't wanna be stressed, once a day Or. Twice is fine for calls, txt n chats. Can suffice.

  16. 5 times, biko that's stalking, I'd get tired. I'm. Girl, and I don't wanna be stressed, once a day Or. Twice is fine for calls, txt n chats. Can suffice.

  17. Yes o, call me.let me know am being missed & loved but don't be a nuisance with it :-)

  18. My parents have been married for over 20 years and my very unromantic dad calls mum plenty times in a day whether or not they're in the same city. They check in with each other every so often during the day.

    If married people who spend so much time with each other communicate so well and so often, whats up with a boyfriend that i don't see every day. Why can't you spare 5 -10minutes of your 24hours checking up on me or calling to hear my voice. It doesn't even have to be a call, a text will pass the same message across albeit not as profoundly as a call would depending on how romantic SO is but it'll tell me that you're thinking about me.

  19. 5 times Hmmm, well some days it could be five times or more or LESS. At least once a day. It's important to check in on your SO at least a day. J

  20. Communication is very necessary.... If you don't call me at least once a day then why are we "here"?

  21. Pls he must communicate with me...but like mephis said the guys see it diffrently like big fiance fit no call me or reply my messages immediately and there I am holding phone and waiting for his immediate reply! D tin dey pain meeee.....does he care about me? TOTALLY! God help us women...both genders are wired diffrently in this regard...but there must be a meeting point sha to keep things going sweetly....#JoyDaNuGirl

  22. I don't mind calling but when I figured out I was the one always pushing to communicate, I decided to watch and see and boom! no calls, pings, sms or letter (like Ruthy said) but I will see him change dp. 3 month old situationship, sorry I mean relationship. Aside from happy new year ping, We've not said anything to each other, which kind thing be that na, even people for mars dey call family E con be ordinary New York for earth to call Naija wey your supposed "bae" dey stay, and no be say I "toast" myself o. Well, I've ignored him and by the time he wakes up, he will know am long gone.

    1. Your situation is very different from the what we're saying. It's obvious he's not committed.

    2. *from what we're saying*. Pardon my hamattan stricken grammar.

    3. My realization at last after I gave it enough thought. Hamattan stricken grammer pardoned.

  23. Find out what tickles your partner'a heart and do it. It increases the deposit in your emotional bank account and prolong your life. I hate the phone but used it so much back then. I recall a conversation that lasted for 5 hours, women love to talk and love to listen!

    1. I meant to write that I love to listen.

  24. Cant imagine not communicating

  25. Really, communication is the bedrock of a relationship. Yeah, from d analysis of both memphis et al, guys are more rational and ladies are emotional.
    But even if u can't call 3-5times as d lady wants, try n make her feel important in ur least check on her via bbm, WhatsApp, etc. Thanks to social media networks.
    A Relationship involves 2 mutual efforts to thrive/succeed.


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