This post may contain some adult content so we're keeping it +18.
The past weekend was a very interesting one.
So as you may or may not know, a large percentage of mails I get from blog readers don't come with a permission to have them posted. Last week I got one of those. But before I get to the email can I first ask why people think it's ok to tell me all the nitty gritty dirty details of their lives? I mean, sometimes I enjoy hearing all the dirt, but sometimes I get squirmish and wonder why they think it's ok to share this with me? It makes me wonder of it's a reflection of my person; do they think well Thelma is a "bad girl" so she'll understand and she won't judge me? Or do they think she seems pretty wise and unjudgemental, let me share this with her? I seriously hope it's the latter.
Anyhoo, I'm all ears most of the time, so feel free (but not to free because sometimes y'all make me blush) to share with me whatever you like.
So this blog reader reached out to me and told me about her sex life with her fiancé. Apparently le boo is her perfect man and marrying him is her dream come true. BUT there's one big but. They have a good sex life and he knows how to bring her immense, intense pleasure. However, in order for her to reciprocate, to bring him to those same throes of pleasure, there are certain things he prefers her to do which this blog reader isn't too comfortable doing. For instance le boo wants her to give him oral sex, not just his genitals but also his anus. By the way this isn't the only weird preference he has but this is the one that I personally find most unnegotiable.
Last night I had dinner with two girlfriends of mine and we had a very interesting conversation. *Biola started talking about things her boo does in bed which she doesn't like, but which she puts up with because she loves him. Things like spanking her, going to bed in six inch heels and so on... At this point I recalled the mail the blog reader sent and told them about it.
My other friend *Marcy is of the opinion that anything other than conventional sex is unacceptable except both parties want it. In her words "he should even be happy that you're willing to have sex with him at all".
But Biola sees things differently. Biola talked about the blog reader's mail; asking you to do certain things like oral in less-than-sanitary body orifices, spanking, watching porn with him and acting it out etc. She opined that if you're dating/engaged/married to someone who likes all these things and you're willing to play ball and please him just how he likes, then you have the keys to his heart and his "mumu button". According to Biola if your man has these 'needs', the easiest way to keep him is by meeting those needs; he will never leave you alone...
I couldn't contribute much but I've given it a lot of thought. I understand having to go extra lengths to please your partner, but when it comes to sex, how much are you willing to displease yourself in order to please your significant other?
What are those things that you can negotiate on in bed and those that you most certainly can't? (Some might argue that submitting to your husband includes giving in to his demands even in bed. For instance, you've sworn never to have anal sex but hubby wants it. Would you or would you not?). Some partners' demands are as harmless and acceptable as oral sex, mild spanking, dirty talk, maybe even anal sex. While some demands are as unorthodox and unthinkable as threesomes, swinging, public sex...
Do you believe that you have to satisfy ALL your partner's (sexual) needs in order to keep them (happy)? Has you significant other (either the present one or in the past) ever made any outrageous demands from you in bed? What are you NOT willing to negotiate on in bed?