Have you ever felt like your parents failed in an aspect of parenting, or some aspects? Do you ever find yourself wishing they had done somethings differently when bringing you up? I most certainly do, sometimes. In truth I couldn't have asked for better parents. They're the kindest, most caring, most loving and most generous persons I know. Yet, there are some things which I wish they had done differently.
1. Taught us our language. This is the first mistake I think my parents made. Both speak Igbo fluently but somehow neglected to teach it to us, choosing instead to speak to us in English. These days I find myself wishing that they hadn't done that for several number of reasons. Children will always learn to speak the Lingua Franca, either in school or in social interactions outside the home. But it's left to the parents to teach the kiddies their native language.
2. Allowed us to be more independent. Ok, so this is just for daddy. Then I loved loved loved being spoiled, adored and dotted on by him. Now, I wish he had let me be just a little bit more independent. My daddy loves me to a point of distraction, so much so that he accompanied me to Uni and did all my registrations (faculty, revisit and hostel) for me in my first year and came to my NYSC camp a number of times when I called home homesick. He would actually take the bus, not being able to drive the distance, come hold my hand and stroll round camp with me, then take the bus back home. And camp wasn't in Lagos! Now this is all well and cute, but I realize that it actually did me some harm. It would have pay me more in the long run if he let me stand on my own two feet.
3. Allowed me to choose and decide what I wanted to be/study. Many Nigerian parents, especially the parents of my generation, are guilty of this. They got carried away with the idea of being called Mama-doctor, papa-lawyer and so on. They thought any discipline that couldn't end in a white collar job was likely to be an embarassing one.
Ok, so these are three things I think my parents should have done differently. TTB readers, if you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be? What do you wish your parents had done differently? Could they have been less strict, more strict, more loving, more present, less nosy, more approachable, more tolerant, etc?