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Dear Thelma... (Confused Blog Reader Needs Advice)

Good day T, please I need you and your readers to help me judge this matter. I travelled to see my bobo last month and I stayed over for a few days. We have similar body frames so when we're in doors I wear his vests or tshirts and he does not seem to mind. When I went last November I saw one vest that I really liked and he said I could have it. Actually he has a lot of those casual vests and tshirts that people wear indoors, he travels a lot and buys everytime. So when I went last month I did laundry and needed something to wear after so I wore one of the vests. I really liked it and I brought it back home with me. See, maybe it was wrong and maybe I shud have asked him 1st but the truth is that they r so many dat I didn't thnk he wud notice, besides they r just vest tops that one does not wear out and are not expensive at all, also I did not even think he wud mind at all, after all I am his girl friend abi? My mind was not even there when I packed it with the rest of my things till he called me on Sunday evening. He asked if I took any of his vest and I said yes. Next thing I know my bobo lost his cool and started to shout at me. He said when I asked for one he gave me, now I came and took at another one. He said that the one I took is his favourite one and that what do I expect him to do now? I apologized but to God I thot it was all a joke. But he continued to rant at me and say he hated what I had done. When I tried to defend myself and explain he said he was not in the mood and let's not talk about it again then he hung up. I sent him bbm messages that night to explain and apologise but he did not reply me at all. It is almost one week now and he has not called me or sent me any message. 
       Please I am confused, is what I did so terrible? Is a guy supposed to be so angry that his girlfriend took something as trivial as a vest? And we are not kiddies at all, he is 33! My aunty says maybe he thinks I'm taking his thing somewhere, as in taking them to do something fetish and maybe that is why is he so angry. I just don't know what to think, if it was me I would be over happy and even flattered that my bobo is sharing my stuff with me. I know we have not dated for too long, only seven month but isn't that long enough? I am very confused, I promised I will not call but I thought he will call me by now. Or do you think he is just looking for am excuse to break up with me? Things have been going very well before that phone call so I don't even know what to think. Please what should I do?


  1. Return the vest...

  2. Oh wow! Return the vest but for me it's not a good sign. I also absolutely detest people hanging the phone up on me. I think its utterly disrespectful no matter how angry one is. I never do that to anyone and I also expect same courtesy from others, especially a significant other. But then again, that's just me. I am aware what obtains in one relationship may not in another. But again, wow....

  3. Honestly I think I believe what ur aunty said, maybe he is scared that ur doing something with his clothes, and like Nubian Princess said it is not a good sign at all.

  4. If I were the one, I would travel back to his place with just that vest, drop it and come back to Lagos same day!

    After Sorry and plenty explanations, wetin remain again na. I honestly can't tell you why he's acting like that and peeps are different.

    Its small small things like this that vex me big time. Why would you ignore me because I took your vest? even after I apologised..

  5. Na wah ohh.. maybe the guy is looking for a reason to break- up with you.. pls even if he lives in Alaska! Return the damn Vest!! And if I were you I no do again.. thank God ur just dating and if you must continue.. he'd better have a concrete explanation for his irrational behaviour.. even if the vest were made of diamond stones! Plus u sef u are forward are u a beggy beggy.. u packed d vest intentionally don't tell me nothing..

    1. Ahn ahn.. madam prettyjules... "Plus u sef u are forward are u a beggy beggy.. u packed d vest intentionally don't tell me nothing.." kilo le toh yen.. she stated clearly that she took the vest intentionally. Granted.. she should have asked but hey.. he has a lot of them and well he is her boyfriend... which one is beggy beggy there or being forward. **confused face** I don't think that should be a big deal abeg if I call you my boyfriend and we wear almost the same size... it's not a terrible thing to take one or 2. if you're my friend sef I can do the same. Not to talk of boyfriend. + she apologized! What else? Mstchew! A 33 year old! Okay o! what wud he do if they get married and she does somfn wrong? He will walk out of the house and not come back in one week okwaya? *rme*

    2. Kabuoy...people are different oohh.. she asked for one he gave her.. and she took anoda without telling him.. " his favourite" he must love those vest to be buying plenty of it..dts my point.. plus he most have been looking for it before it hit him dat maybe his babe must have taken it.. lol Abeg na their wahala be dat.. although the dude is over reacting.

    3. Kabuoy...people are different oohh.. she asked for one he gave her.. and she took anoda without telling him.. " his favourite" he must love those vest to be buying plenty of it..dts my point.. plus he most have been looking for it before it hit him dat maybe his babe must have taken it.. lol Abeg na their wahala be dat.. although the dude is over reacting.

    4. I'm totally with prettyjules on this one. I don't know about vest but when anyone even if Na my wife collect anything that is "my favourite". We must have a problem oh. Especially when I gave u one earlier then you decided to nonchalantly take another one whether my favorite or not. Its just worse that it had to be his favourite without his permission wch focus insinuates DAT he wouldn't have given you if u had asked for it in the first place.

      Anyways next time always ask for something before taking it. I hate it when people don't ask me first for my stuff before taking it. I just hate it, simple. Even if its a needle

    5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    6. Uyi, its not that what she did was right, of course she should have asked before taking his vest. The problem here is the over reaction. Its been 7 days! Isnt that too long to hold a grudge? That's after the offender, who is his girlfriend not some random friend, has apologised profusely.. what else does he want? He's a guy for pete's sake! Its women that keep malice like that. Why would a guy not talk to his gf for 7days just because of vest? Unless there's something else there.

    7. Uyi you're noh serious! If I punch u ehn! Are u justifying the man's reaction?! See Uyi o! It's really not that big a deal nah... ha! and she apologized! This is her first time and he has warned her... he can now do this after she does it the second time or *clears throat...3rd time* :)
      Uyi take time o! Don't come and justify anything that is not justifiable here o! Before I come and carry all your "vests" too! Lol!

    8. If u carry my vest Ehen... Na sunshine go do referee. Simple

      Anyways he may have overreacted with 7days of malice (like seriously?). Maybe he's expecting his vest back and den some.
      I guess people react in their own way whether big or small

  6. Like everyone said,return the vest and don't sleep over,apologize via text and make him see reasons why u took the vest and tell him it's no excuse and u accept ur faults and let sleeping dogs lie,if he loves u,he might change his mind,Dats his kind of person,. My aunt's hussy hates her using his favourite stuffs talk less of Traveling with them,it might just be his person okay. So put ur mind at rest and pray GOD touches his heart.

  7. I don't think she is forward, i think maybe naive, and dear poster it is obvious that your bobo does not feel the same way about you that you feel about him. You're thinking it is a relationship and "what is yours is mine, what is mine is yours" but it is obvious that he does not feel this way.

    1. My Exact thought. Dude has got some BS up his sleeves.

      Poster, since u say they are cheap, Return the one U collected & buy half a dozen of them as apology. *my reverse sarcasm*. So he'll know u didn't want to do anything fetish. U simply thought he wouldn't mind & u can afford it.
      Nonsense & Ingredients.

    2. Ruthy na real nonsense and ingredients. Kaiii.

  8. I think he overreacted. Given that you're his girlfriend and it's not like he's asked you not to wear his clothes.
    Though taking the vest home is obviously a big deal for him, it doesn't seem like he's a nice person. 1 favourite vest? His girlfriend? Then no contacting you for a week?! Petty!!!
    It would do you well to stop assuming it's a way to break-up the relationship. You should call him, apologise again and see how it goes from there.

    1. Ps: your aunt's thoughts sha! Lol

    2. Petty is the perfect word.

  9. Na wah ohh.. maybe the guy is looking for a reason to break- up with you.. pls even if he lives in Alaska! Return the damn Vest!! And if I were you I no do again.. thank God ur just dating and if you must continue.. he'd better have a concrete explanation for his irrational behaviour.. even if the vest were made of diamond stones! Plus u sef u are forward are u a beggy beggy.. u packed d vest intentionally don't tell me nothing..

  10. Why do you still have his vest? Why? Shame no dey catch you? Lol. Pls return it, apologize again and leave calmly.

  11. Return the vest o ...I like Ruth's idea show him you can afford more
    He must have had issues before this vest Ish shaa cos I dnt see why something that little will make him that angry

  12. First thought I had while reading your story was 'he is looking for an excuse to break up' until read the comments of others.

    It might be petty but maybe he one of those people who prefer you ask them before taking anything that belongs to them. Just try calling him again to apologize and you could return the vest back to him(this feels somehow though) or even buy additional.

    Funny dude....

  13. Relationship wahala,mbok DHL his vest to him with a note,if he needs you he knows where to reach you. Some guys can keep malice pass women sef tbh...

  14. Given the circumstances of the moment, when small issues like this are construed as though it were weightier, I'd say it is indicative of a bigger unobserved problem.

    Whether it is his favourite or despised clothing, I feel his reaction was too harsh and most likely he'd already had a growing reservation towards you, looking for an excuse to break up the relationship, under a lot of stress and thus, he's taking it out on you. Well the probabilities are endless.

    If still with another apology, he doesn't cave in, as much as your schedule permits, return his 'valued' possession to him physically, demand an explanation to things and decide whether to stay in the 'relationship' or take the exit door.


    1. I always look forward to your comments.

  15. Biko return the vest and let peace reign. Don't even call him...relax,na him go call u apologise wen he realises that he over-reacted.
    Some people just hv that "one" favourite piece of item they don't joke with. But he went too far wt his calls for a week?.Naaah!!!

  16. Poster i think the situation here is dt ur guy is pissed with ur attitude, from ur write up, u share his things a lot but he doesnt share yours, you like the vests but have never bought one for urself, instead u always wear his own, as if dt wasn't enough, u asked to take one n he gave u, still u went ahead and took another without his permission. That attitude of liking smthing but never getting urs is really annoying and can make me stay away from someone.

    1. Really tho... it's not this serious. I have a few clothes that I deem special and don't want to share. Every other one is fine. and "I make it known" to u know who. Now... when she goes behind my back to wear them when i'm not around.. there wud be a justifiable anger that would follow. And it's just once. Finish! This one.. you didn't tell her... fine! you don't owe her any explanation whatsoever cuz it's ur vest and she's ur girlfriend.. that's fine... but you've warned her now... it should end there after she apologizes. E pass vest?! stay away from someone because she took your "favorite" stuff? Or took somfn without permission. Where's the love biko? Yoruba people call it "o n yo si eyan lorun" .... anyway.. different strokes but different folks but really! I still think he overreacted!

    2. He obviously overreacted or probably looking for an excuse to break up with her. Guys find it difficult to tell d babe its over. They look for the babe will offend them then they will capitalize on that to break up. Babe abeg return his treasured "vest"

  17. Return the vest, make sure you do so before valentines. Lol. He over reacted and it could be for several reasons. Like i said Valentines is between the lines.

  18. My dear return he vest to him. It might means that he no longer wants the relationship. But learn your lesson don't ever take other person things without permition. Be it your boyfriend or any other person. Its bad manner. I for one wouldn't like my thing to be taken without my approval although he over reacted sha.

  19. Favourite or not, when someone takes my thing without asking first or telling me after taking it, we will have problem. You just have to tell me and not leave me to find out myself. Some of us are just wired that way.

    That's not enough to leave him. Lesson learned; stop apologizing and give him sometime to exhaust his anger. I believe he'll eventually come around and if he doesn't, be sure that he needed that excuse to get you out of his life.



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