Skip to main content

Dear Thelma...

Good day T and TTB readers. I've a little problem bothering me. By God's grace I'm getting married this year to the love of my life. I really love this guy but the problem is his past. He has dated and slept too many girls in the past, I don't suspect him of cheating on me and he treats me very well but am worried about his past. The main problem is that among the girls he has dated he has dated three of my close friends at different times over the years and also some of my acquaintances. I knew most of this before I agreed to date him but now that we're engaged it worries me. When we're in bed I always imagine him with my friends and I wonder if he did the same things he does with me, with them. I wonder if he's comparing me to any one of them and things like that. Also the idea of my friends knowing those intimate and sexual details of my husband irritates me. I know that each of them that dated him thought he will marry them although he never told them that he will and now I feel as if they look at me two ways. One, with envy because I got the ring that they all wanted, two, with disrespect because I'm am marrying somebody that has slept with everybody. I don't know if it is all in my head or if it is worth calling off the wedding for. He is a good man and he is not a womanizer, I know this for a fact because two out of my friends were the ones that went after him, but he has has led a very promiscuous past. Do you think I will lose my respect if I marry him? Please I nid answers. Thank u. 
     Also t please can we discuss all these past bedmates regarding to soul ties. I am not a virgin but my body count is very low. But he and all these girls he has slept with (he does not know his body count anymore), if soul ties are real then what could be the implication of this for him or both of us as husband and wife?


  1. You have no prob since he is not a womanizer n treats u well. His past is his past n belongs in d past. Look to d future n plan ahead.

    A Bili

    1. We study history because our past has a way of defining us if we want it. Since ur fiance is not a womanizer, its possible he has learnt from his past. Just love him and forget abt what your friends might think, coz people will always think. Meanwhile who is to say the next guy you meet wont have a promiscous past. Btw i dont believe in soul ties, if i do, it means i would have soul ties with the robbers who raped me

  2. I'd ask, aw do ur friends treat u now dat u re engaged? Do dey look @ u with disdain and disrespect? Ve their attitude towards u changed in any way? If not, den it's not likely to change after ur wedding, so u shudnt wori abt dat. Abt d body count and d spiritual implications, I beliv dat prayers and true repentance dat u guys re safe. I can only say dat God ll forgive our sins wen we repent of dem, d multiplication of d demons (if sth like dat exists), prayers can handle. And den, I think dat d most important point to consider here is you and ur boo. If d love is unquestionable, and you both hold eachoda in high regard, u can scale tru d hurdles. Finally, Let love lead and hand it over to God in prayer. Gudluck.

  3. Dear poster u say he is promiscuous but not a womanizer? *confused face*, i always believe in that saying that a leopard never changes its spots, i hope u are not about to enter a tuface and annie kinda rship tho without the baby mamas. Just bear in mind that 'the ring' isnt everything, peace of mind and happiness is more important. Why do women see grey and try to convince themselves that it is white? Hian!!

    1. Anon the guy dated so many girls in the past doesn't make him a womanizer and I would explain what I meanmean,do u know that there are people who just enjoy being relationships,as in they feel secure just having a boyfriend or girlfriend, the guy in question might have been in relationship that didn't last long, and in a bid to keep looking for a comfy zone or a someone serious, he keeps dating after each break up with each woman,if this is the case,he might likely date about five to seven gals in a year without knowing, I don't know if am making sense,I am talking from people's experience. That's yy she used the word promiscuous and not a womanizer,thoughi don't see much or any difference in both

    2. 7 girls in a year???? And u call that dating? Maybel bikokwa. Dating ndi obodo ebe?

    3. Lol,anon it's possible hun,some people just feel insecure to that level, trust me. Lol ur comment got me laffing.

  4. Dear poster,it's men who worry about these things u are worrying about, like u said he is not a womanizer which u know too well,the truth is,it's only a few men that wouldn't date a lot of girls before marriage, it doesn't make dem promiscuous like u said, u shud focus on your marriage dear and how to make it,do not continue to think about all these because when u do,he irritates u the more and before u know it u loose ur love for him,for Christ sake he choose u over all the other women,so yy worry about how the women will see u,yy worry about if the ladies know the things he does in bed with u?all these shouldn't bother u dear trust me,as for soul ties,I believe in them,but don't be scared because there are certain stages u both will pass through before saying I do on the alter, I don't know what church u attend,but where I worship,couples go through stuffs like counselling, deliverance sessions, fasting and prayers and all that to prepare them for the deal day,so once all these are done and u accept Christ fully coupled with continuous prayer,then u are good to go. I wish u well and congrats in advance hun.

  5. So this dude of urs dt has a community penis (sorry only judging by wht u said), a young man dt has obviously slept with more than 10 girls dt u know of, not 2 talk of the ones u are oblivious abt, isn't a womanizer? Some1 dt doesn't kno his body counts anymore?


    1. LMSAO!!!
      I wondered same. Had to check the meaning of womanizer again.

    2. Lmao@So this dude of urs dt has a community penis

    3. Lol...
      poster u've heard it all.

  6. How come all this is coming up now? It wasn't enough reason to stop you from dating him,I don't see why it should be a problem now. Or were you hoping the relationship won't get to the point of marriage?

    All the issues you have listed here why don't you convey it to him,let him see how much it bothers you so he can try explaining things.

    I think its all in your head and the best you could do is talk to him.

  7. I think all the thoughts are in your head. Although its hard not to think them, move on. Don't let those kind of thoughts run your life, think positive thoughts. As far as y'all love each other genuinely and you are 100% sure that he has dropped his old ways then go ahead.

    As for the soul ties, that's what churches like MFM are there for. He has to be willing to go with you though cos u can't break them for him. Just commit your marriage to God's able hands and you'll be fine.

  8. First of all he sounds like he was a serial monogamist....then technically can you call him community d*ck?

    How are your friends treating you? Frankly is it in your heard or you just want everyone to like you? Because if you have a good man by your own standards what are you second guessing again? Or you were expecting the Pope to be your husband? Your guy is a human being, he has lived his life past (i wouldnt even call them mistakes), deal with it and move one. Your concern about soul ties, its only God that forgives all sinners, your guy should take it to God. One of the closest people to Jesus was a prostitute, no?

    granted not everybody is redeemable, but if dude haasnt showed he isnt redeemable why are you fussing?


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…


Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.