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Dear Thelma...





Good day T and TTB readers. I've a little problem bothering me. By God's grace I'm getting married this year to the love of my life. I really love this guy but the problem is his past. He has dated and slept too many girls in the past, I don't suspect him of cheating on me and he treats me very well but am worried about his past. The main problem is that among the girls he has dated he has dated three of my close friends at different times over the years and also some of my acquaintances. I knew most of this before I agreed to date him but now that we're engaged it worries me. When we're in bed I always imagine him with my friends and I wonder if he did the same things he does with me, with them. I wonder if he's comparing me to any one of them and things like that. Also the idea of my friends knowing those intimate and sexual details of my husband irritates me. I know that each of them that dated him thought he will marry them although he never told them that he will and now I feel as if they look at me two ways. One, with envy because I got the ring that they all wanted, two, with disrespect because I'm am marrying somebody that has slept with everybody. I don't know if it is all in my head or if it is worth calling off the wedding for. He is a good man and he is not a womanizer, I know this for a fact because two out of my friends were the ones that went after him, but he has has led a very promiscuous past. Do you think I will lose my respect if I marry him? Please I nid answers. Thank u. 
     Also t please can we discuss all these past bedmates regarding to soul ties. I am not a virgin but my body count is very low. But he and all these girls he has slept with (he does not know his body count anymore), if soul ties are real then what could be the implication of this for him or both of us as husband and wife?

Comments

  1. You have no prob since he is not a womanizer n treats u well. His past is his past n belongs in d past. Look to d future n plan ahead.

    A Bili

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We study history because our past has a way of defining us if we want it. Since ur fiance is not a womanizer, its possible he has learnt from his past. Just love him and forget abt what your friends might think, coz people will always think. Meanwhile who is to say the next guy you meet wont have a promiscous past. Btw i dont believe in soul ties, if i do, it means i would have soul ties with the robbers who raped me

      Delete
  2. I'd ask, aw do ur friends treat u now dat u re engaged? Do dey look @ u with disdain and disrespect? Ve their attitude towards u changed in any way? If not, den it's not likely to change after ur wedding, so u shudnt wori abt dat. Abt d body count and d spiritual implications, I beliv dat prayers and true repentance dat u guys re safe. I can only say dat God ll forgive our sins wen we repent of dem, d multiplication of d demons (if sth like dat exists), prayers can handle. And den, I think dat d most important point to consider here is you and ur boo. If d love is unquestionable, and you both hold eachoda in high regard, u can scale tru d hurdles. Finally, Let love lead and hand it over to God in prayer. Gudluck.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear poster u say he is promiscuous but not a womanizer? *confused face*, i always believe in that saying that a leopard never changes its spots, i hope u are not about to enter a tuface and annie kinda rship tho without the baby mamas. Just bear in mind that 'the ring' isnt everything, peace of mind and happiness is more important. Why do women see grey and try to convince themselves that it is white? Hian!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon the guy dated so many girls in the past doesn't make him a womanizer and I would explain what I meanmean,do u know that there are people who just enjoy being relationships,as in they feel secure just having a boyfriend or girlfriend, the guy in question might have been in relationship that didn't last long, and in a bid to keep looking for a comfy zone or a someone serious, he keeps dating after each break up with each woman,if this is the case,he might likely date about five to seven gals in a year without knowing, I don't know if am making sense,I am talking from people's experience. That's yy she used the word promiscuous and not a womanizer,thoughi don't see much or any difference in both

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    2. 7 girls in a year???? And u call that dating? Maybel bikokwa. Dating ndi obodo ebe?

      Delete
    3. Lol,anon it's possible hun,some people just feel insecure to that level, trust me. Lol ur comment got me laffing.

      Delete
  4. Dear poster,it's men who worry about these things u are worrying about, like u said he is not a womanizer which u know too well,the truth is,it's only a few men that wouldn't date a lot of girls before marriage, it doesn't make dem promiscuous like u said, u shud focus on your marriage dear and how to make it,do not continue to think about all these because when u do,he irritates u the more and before u know it u loose ur love for him,for Christ sake he choose u over all the other women,so yy worry about how the women will see u,yy worry about if the ladies know the things he does in bed with u?all these shouldn't bother u dear trust me,as for soul ties,I believe in them,but don't be scared because there are certain stages u both will pass through before saying I do on the alter, I don't know what church u attend,but where I worship,couples go through stuffs like counselling, deliverance sessions, fasting and prayers and all that to prepare them for the deal day,so once all these are done and u accept Christ fully coupled with continuous prayer,then u are good to go. I wish u well and congrats in advance hun.

    ReplyDelete
  5. So this dude of urs dt has a community penis (sorry only judging by wht u said), a young man dt has obviously slept with more than 10 girls dt u know of, not 2 talk of the ones u are oblivious abt, isn't a womanizer? Some1 dt doesn't kno his body counts anymore?

    Interesting...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMSAO!!!
      I wondered same. Had to check the meaning of womanizer again.

      Delete
    2. Lmao@So this dude of urs dt has a community penis

      Delete
    3. Lol...
      poster u've heard it all.

      Delete
  6. How come all this is coming up now? It wasn't enough reason to stop you from dating him,I don't see why it should be a problem now. Or were you hoping the relationship won't get to the point of marriage?


    All the issues you have listed here why don't you convey it to him,let him see how much it bothers you so he can try explaining things.

    I think its all in your head and the best you could do is talk to him.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think all the thoughts are in your head. Although its hard not to think them, move on. Don't let those kind of thoughts run your life, think positive thoughts. As far as y'all love each other genuinely and you are 100% sure that he has dropped his old ways then go ahead.

    As for the soul ties, that's what churches like MFM are there for. He has to be willing to go with you though cos u can't break them for him. Just commit your marriage to God's able hands and you'll be fine.

    ReplyDelete
  8. First of all he sounds like he was a serial monogamist....then technically can you call him community d*ck?

    How are your friends treating you? Frankly is it in your heard or you just want everyone to like you? Because if you have a good man by your own standards what are you second guessing again? Or you were expecting the Pope to be your husband? Your guy is a human being, he has lived his life past (i wouldnt even call them mistakes), deal with it and move one. Your concern about soul ties, its only God that forgives all sinners, your guy should take it to God. One of the closest people to Jesus was a prostitute, no?

    granted not everybody is redeemable, but if dude haasnt showed he isnt redeemable why are you fussing?

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete

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